Diane’s microwave is pretty smart. I’ve been fascinated with it from the day we bought it when we moved into this house 7 years ago. In the last two years, since I finally retired, I’ve had opportunities to explore the various settings which cover pretty much any form of cooking one might want to do. Before I retired I really didn’t have time to figure it out so relied on Diane to figure out all the possibilities. Being a very clever person, and more of a techie than she’s comfortable to admit, she is well versed in it’s possibilities. Mainly, I use the settings that allow me to reheat ‘stuff’, like “one meal”, or “one cup of coffee”, things like that. Simple settings.

Sometimes I dare to just set it for a certain amount of time, like I’ve done for hotdogs since day one. Usually I just stuff the hotdog in the bun, set it for 25 seconds, and it comes out perfect. That length of time is perfect to heat up the hotdog without turning the bun into an overly chewy mess.

Diane doesn’t like her hotdog heated up in the bun. Instead, she does the hotdog first, then puts it in a bun, covers it with cheese, and sticks it back in the micro for 10-15 seconds. If that isn’t bad enough, when she takes it out she puts ketchup on it. That should be illegal. You should have to put mustard on all hotdogs. Ketchup is just wrong in so many ways. Ketchup is for steaks and shrimp.

I digress … sorry …

Today after church we took Diane’s mom, Jean, to Zhen’s, formerly the Lucky Inn, for one of their incredibly huge meals. Diane had a craving. Like normal, each plate is enough to feed three people. All of us ate sparingly, boxed the rest, then returned to our house to digest all of it and wait for the post-Chinese-food-hunger-pangs to set in. The ride home took us to downtown St. Helens, by the river where we discovered Lydia, and her friend Ravyn, calmly avoiding what they described as a “creepy guy” down by the gazeebo. Odd to find her this far from home. Lydia said they were waiting for another one of their friends, but he was late.

Once home, Diane and Mom watched the ‘Red Widow’ pilot which was saved to the DVR. I already watched it during one or more session of American Idol, or one of many different shows from HGTV which are also captured on the DVR.

Since it was a two-hour episode, the Chinese food had plenty of time to clear the upper reaches of our digestive tracts, making room for something new and tasty. I suggested hotdogs which was a unanimous choice. So, I removed a new package of Hebrew National hotdogs (7 to a pack) from the referigerator, and a new package of buns from the bread drawer (8 to a pack), and set about the task of figuring out how to heat them up.

At this point, I must point out that both Diane and I refer to the various settings on the micro as “buttons”, like those commonly found on a smart phone. They are all menu items in memory, but you have to “push” a button on the screen to activate it. We have popcorn buttons, the aforementioned coffee button, the meal button, the melt cheese button, etc. So, it may not be a surprise to you that, after deciding to see about cooking the hotdogs, I stumbled across a “two weenie” button.

To me, that was just phenominal! Diane’s microwave has a two weenie button! Who knew?

It took me some time to digest that discovery. I think she secretly knew about it but was keeping it secret from me. She denied it, however, when I accused her of doing that. Can’t say I blame her because I would have denied it, too. I mean, c’mon! A two weenie button. Who would’ve believed that? But, I never would have found if without her help. Oddly, it is under the “Meat” menu which I find odd because everyone knows hotdogs aren’t meat. They may look like meat, but they really aren’t.

Jennie, Cedric, Lydia, and Jeran stopped by after we finished our weenies so Jen could get the booster seat to use for her niece, Lexie, whom she babysits. Jennie loves babies. Given half a chance, she would have had 15 kids. It’s all about the smell, I’m told. The clean baby smell, not the dirty one.

Moving on, spring is over until next week. After two days of glorious sunshine and dry weather the moisture has returned. To combat that I’ve made yesterday’s picture of Panzee my wall paper so that I, like Ruth, can see what better times will look like. I think spring will return in a week or so.

Panzee and Ozzie alerted to a strange noise a few minutes ago on the back porch. I got up to look and blinded a lone raccoon when I hit the floods. It was pilfering the outside cat dish which I had failed to bring inside. It ignored me until I rapped on the window, then it ran down the steps. I gave it a five second head start then let Panzee out. After I was sure the raccoon was safely over the fence, I let little yappy Ozzie joing the chase.

It was a delightful end to a day filled with exciting events and new discoveries.

… at least for a little while.

Yesterday I mowed our front yard again for two reasons – 1) just because I could, and 2) it grew an inch since I mowed it the last time. I also mowed the neighbor’s yard. It was a gorgeous day in the Great North West and good to be outside. Although the temp dipped to freezing at night, it popped right back up into the 60’s, perfect for shorts and a lawnmower.

Another reason I mowed was so I could take a picture for Ruth and give her a notion of what her yard will look like once her snow melts.

This is Panzee enjoying the short grass in our front yard … that’s Mt. Hood in the back.

After mowing the lawn I cleaned up and went next door to work on Muriel’s computer for the fourth time. Her only complaint is that she can’t send email, but she can receive it. Perplexing. I was there until almost 7 pm which is really 8 pm since we had to Spring Forward last night. The next time I go there I’m going to reformat her hard drive with prejudice, wiping out everything contained thereon, starting over from scratch. First, however, I must rescue her photos and address book.

I hear Diane stirring so it’s time for me to look busy.

… or should that be “scarfs”? Gee … I just looked it up and it can go either way. Interesting. I’ll stick with ‘scarves’ because ‘scarf’ has always been associated with food for me … like, “when he eats, he really scarfs it up.” Just saying.

Anyway, where I’m going with this is that, in addition to my many other household duties, I’ve been tasked with crocheting scarves for everyone in town. This is what they look like …

Quite festive and it absolutely kills my right shoulder when I make them. That, of course, isn’t a factor. Jennie thinks I should make a few dozen to sell at the Christmas sales this coming holiday season. Wow! I said ‘Christmas’ and it isn’t even St. Patties Day, yet.

Another issue with the scarfs is that they take up my valuable free nap time. As it is, I rarely get more than an hour worth of naps a day. The rest of the time I’m doing other important things that I’m not allowed to talk about. Actually, I can’t talk about those things because I generally can’t remember them. Oh wait! Lunch! I usually remember lunch.

First thing this morning I was forced to visit the dentist. No emergency. Just an appointment. I make them for as early in the day as possible in order to get them fresh, before they wear themselves out dealing with difficult patients all day. Today’s was at 8 am. The next appointment will be 7 am. Thankfully, the office is only about a mile away.

Today was Ozzie’s Poodle-do day. We checked him in at 1 pm and checked him out around 3 pm. I turned him over to the groomer then promptly forgot that I was supposed to buy a roll of stamps at the post office. Instead, I stopped at the car deleaship and stepped out to look at a couple of interesting vehicles which were about as far away from the main office as possible. Still, one of the salesmen, Skip, spied me and rushed to my assistance. It was raining, so I didn’t make him wait very long before telling him I didn’t know why I was there and that I should probably go home.

When I got home Diane was busy cooking all kinds of things for soup supper tonight. Like normal, my role in her cooking things is the ‘taster’. I have to do that to give her plausible deniability in the event something doesn’t turn out right. However, everything she cooks is just great. Today it was chicken soup to which we added half a box of 10-year-old butterfly pasta and it turned out wonderful. And, she made the most incredible brownies ever. I don’t normally eat brownies, but I ate these. She put walnuts in them because she knows I love walnuts. I think she loves me, even when she’s scolding me, and calling me by all three of my given names.

After the soup was done we took it, and the brownies, to the church and set it all up for the evening meal. Then we returned to St. Helens so we could go to the post office to get the stamps I forgot in the morning. On the way, the poodle-doer, Kay Kay, called to say Oz was ready to escape her clutches. So, we got the stamps, then the dog, and went home to rest an hour or so before having to return to church.

At 5 pm we again left the house, picked up Diane’s Mom, Jean, and headed to Warren for supper and our Lenten service. Once on Highway 30 we had to stop for a fire truck, then saw dozens of flashing lights in front of our beloved Safeway, where our daughter, Jennie, works. There were four ambulances and a variety of other emergency vehicles scakttered around the parking lot and crime scene tape extened into the parking area, encompassing both entrances. Our first thought was that someone went in there and shot the place up, so I immediately called Jennie. Thankfully she answered and told us it was her day off. She only lives about half a block from the store and didn’t know what was going on but thought it might just be one of the alarms went off.

After we got to church I listened to the police scanner app I have on my iPhone but didn’t hear anyone say anything about what was going on. Then Jennie called to say guns weren’t involved and she had talked with one of the managers who said 30 or so people were exposed to something in the deli area that made them sick. Stil inconclusive, but it was good to know she was OK, and that it wasn’t something life threatening.

Our pastor has been conducting Lenten services using Mayberry RFD TV shows to convey the lesson. So, we get to watch one of the shows every Wednesday evening. Tonight’s show was ‘The Loaded Goat’ which, oddly enough, is about responsibility and doing the right thing.

So, there you have it.

Today was special. Diane drove me to Portland so I could have lunch with the best looking group of people who ever worked at PGE. Actually, some of them still work there but I’m not going to tell who. OK – Cliff and I don’t work there any more. I don’t think Paula does, either.

We ate at Mandarin Cove which is just up 1st Street a few blocks from the building where I used to work. Thinking we were a bit late, Diane forced me to exit the vehicle in front of the restaurant then went to look for a place to park. I didn’t think she would be back for a while so prepared myself to test fate and order lunch for her.

When I got inside, I was directed to a table waaaay in the back, away from everyone else, as if they’d been warned I’d be there. Cliff was the only one there when I arrived so we had a moment to talk a bit before the real crowd arrived. This is the guy who invented TAL Team about 20 years ago in order to ensure all the technology, hardware and software, met levels of expectation before being used on the company’s network. I was blessed to have worked with that team for many years before I was forced to retire because of my advanced age, lack of knowledge, and inability to learn new ‘stuff’.

In short order, the remainder of the crew arrived. They are Terri, Becky, Paula, Jim, Debbi, and Nancy – all members of the Team at it’s most busy, but currently functioning at higher levels as members of other IT groups in the company. The fact that this group still gathers is significant because PGE typically scatters talent all over the company in an effort to keep them from talking to each other about what’s going on. In Jim’s case, however, they retained his talent as the sole remaining member of the TAL Team until he decided to retire. That’s why we were all at the Cove – to celebrate that momentous event in his life. He’s seen the light!

This group of people are the hardest working, most dedicated people I’ve ever had the priviledge of working with. Despite my advanced age, I was the ‘baby’ of the group having only 21 years at PGE. Jim would be next, I believe, but all the ladies present have between 30 and 40 years on the job. Amazing! Nancy will be the next to go, in May. Hopefully I was nice enough at today’s lunch that I’ll be invited back for her departure lunch.

The lunch was great, and I loved seeing everyone again. It’s only been two years for me, but it seems longer when I was so used to seeing all of them every day for so long. It’s nothing like being in the Navy where the co-workers change completely every two or three  years. We are all friends, which I find particularly astounding, because their knowledge level was far above mine. I believe they all tolerated me because it gave them a measuring stick of what not to be, and allowed them to practice their teaching skills long after thinking they were beyond that in their careers. They taught me more than I can remember and I appreciate all of them a great deal.

Before I forget, Diane showed up right after the large group, having found a parking place right out front. I was happy to see her, as I always am, and her stunning appearance whisked any thought of introducing her to everyone right out of my brain. She did know some of them, but not all. So, now for the introductions – around the round table it went like this, in a clockwise manner – Diane was to my left, then Jim, Terri, Paula, Becky, Cliff, Debbi, Nancy, then me. Sadly, I failed to take a picture. Maybe next time.

After leaving lunch, we drove to the Habitat For Humanity Restore store over by Mall 205 to see if we could find some interesting baseboard material. They had some that we purchased, I got some hinges and knobs, then we left because we had to get Cedric to his golf lessons.

Then, just when I thought I’d had the best day ever, Diane pulled in to the Sears store and let me buy a new saw. An electric one that plugs into the wall, and everything.

Nice!