Diane is seriously convinced that I’m losing my mind.
It’s difficult for me to perceive the loss of my mind because, if that’s truly happening, I would surely be the last to know. Everything seems to be perfectly normal to me. I mentioned previously that she’s been testing me for the last six months, or so, in an effort to get me to remember ‘things’ on my own. Like, I’ll ask a question about when we’re supposed to be someplace. Instead of being happy that I know we’re supposed to be someplace, she responds with, “I just told you that yesterday.”
That’s a simple example, but typical. Most of my questions are the “yes” or “no” variety that are easily answered with one of those words. That rarely happens. Sometimes the answer escalates into a heated debate about why she’s concerned that I don’t remember those things, and why I don’t understand why she can’t simply say “yes” or “no” in response to my question. My arguement is that I ask questions that have answers I don’t know right off the top of my head. I know she knows the answer, so why take time to look it up.
In truth, I generally have all the answers in my iPhone calendar and could easily look them up myself. Instead, I ask Diane because she is an easier source of that kind of information. Also, I admit that when I go on errands without a list I sometimes forget to do them all. Like the other day, I was tasked with retrieving Ozzie from his poodle-do session and get a roll of stamps. I got Oz the was sidetracked by a stunning SUV on the chevy lot. All thoughts of stamps flew right out the window when I exited the car to do a walk around.
Little things like this cause her stress which doesn’t help her shingles at all. So, I’ve decided that from now on I will conduct myself in a proper manner by doing what she asks without treating requests lightly. I will not respond to her requests, suggestions, or actions in my previously normal frivilous manner. From now on I’m going to be serious about everything. At least until she’s convinced that I’m really not losing my mind, I have just acquired balance in my new ‘normal.’
Then to, who’s to say that by me asking my questions I’m not testing her memory. Since she reads this faithfully it won’t be a secret and we may have a speedy solution to this dilemma. I’ll certainly let everyone know how it turns out as soon as I once again have access to my computer.