Communion

It might surprise many of you to learn that I help our Pastor with communion on Sundays once in a while. Yesterday was one of those times.

It’s not a difficult task, and I enjoy helping. All I do is hold a tray of pre-filled communion cups and, due to COVID, Pastor passes out the bread with a small set of plastic tongs. A clean, simple process, right? Yes, it is.

When I join Pastor in the altar area she serves me first, then we go to the front of the church and serve the congregants as they file past us.

When that’s done we return to the altar where it’s my turn to serve Pastor. I didn’t even make it past the bread before disaster struck when I picked up a piece of bread for her and those tiny little plastic tongs snapped right in half. As you might suspect, the sanctuary was very silent so when the snapping tongs was quite profound. No one really knew what caused it because I was able to complete the transfer without dropping anything.

I gently put the broken tong parts in my pocket and served Pastor the wine, completing the process. Then, when I put the tray on the altar I loudly clanged the tray lid on the tray. So, I batted 1000, but it was OK. I got the job done and actually didn’t spill, or drop anything. I just made a lot of noise and everyone got to take home a story to share that begins with, “Guess what Jerrie did today…”

Now I need to find replacements before next Sunday. I’m thinking chopsticks.

Peace to you all.

It Must be Thanksgiving!

Considering the state of our world, I submit that all of us have something to be thankful for not only on this special day, but on every day of our lives.

Me?

I’m thankful …

  • … for my family, wherever they may be. Some are near, some are far, but they are all with me in my heart, always.
  • … for all the folks who spend their days on guard protecting us in our hospitals, on the streets, at sea, and in foreign lands. They are all special people.
  • … for those folks who wear masks when it’s necessary for us to venture outside and be in their presence.
  • … that I still have all 6 of my senses, most of the time. There are some who will argue that, sure, I have the normal five, but the 6th, common, isn’t always fully engaged. Sadly, I cannot deny that.
  • … for Norris who keeps our septic system working properly.
  • … for all those people working at Oregon gas stations who fill my tank.
  • … for all the people who stock the shelves in our grocery stores.
  • … for the farmers and ranchers who produce pretty much everything I’m allowed to eat.
  • … for my friends for putting up with me even when I can’t remember their name.
  • … for the bagel lady.
  • … for Amazon Prime so I can shop in my pajamas.
  • … for all the Utility workers who ensure all our appliances work.
  • … for our pets, all of them, even cats. They were, and are, some of my favorite people.

… to mention just a few. For those I failed to mention, please forgive me. I appreciate whatever it is that you do. Honest.

Above all, I’m thankful to God who makes all this possible.

Be safe …

Government Stuff

It’s really hard for me to sit down and write something light and cheerful these days. It starts out OK, then political “stuff” jams my airways, redirecting my brainwaves into political thoughts, an area I’ve arduously avoided in all my posts.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions about what’s going on. I do. I just won’t start throwing opinions around. It’s not productive.

I will, however, share my thoughts about how the government should be managed.

First, I would get rid of Senators and use only Representatives. I mean, what does a Senator actually do that’s different from a Representative? They seem to me to be just one more level of management to hinder improvement. Yes, I understand that Senators deal with international issues while Representatives deal with issues closer to home but why can’t the Reps do both? Most of them are smart people who should be able to figure it all out.

Second, Representative age requirements should be limited to the 18-33 range. That means someone right out of High School can run for office. I feel that’s appropriate because most people at that age already know everything. Giving that a little thought, maybe the beginning age should be 15. They know more then. You may think I’m kidding, but I’m serious. Kids are smarter now days and I think they actually do know more than most of the adults who “run” the country.

Regardless of what age they are when elected, they can only serve until age 33. At that time they are automatically included in a pool of people eligible for the presidency.

All employees of the government must will pay into Social Security..

Selection Process

Six months prior to the current president’s 66th birthday, the pool of all Representatives who are 32-years-old, will be thrust into a pool from which the next President will be selected. Those Representatives who do not wish to be considered for the Presidency may opt out and go get another job that is not associated with the government. This is a must because prior to engaging in this new process, all lobbyists will be eliminated. This will ensure all decisions made by those currently serving the people are not influenced in any way by external forces.

I can hear your eyes rolling at that while muttering “yeah, right” quietly to yourself.

Three weeks before the current President’s 66th birthday, all the 33-year-olds who have opted in will gather in the White House Rose Garden, suitably masked, and a drawing will be held.

Consider that the initial Congress will exist of 2 Representatives from each state, and Washington DC, we’ll have 102 employees from which to choose. Of those, only 1/4 will be 33 years old because we will have started this process with employees in these age ranges: 18-21, 22-25, 26-29, 30-33.

Each age group will be comprised of 25.5 Representative. All employees of the group will be given a ticket from a roll of raffle tickets, the matching half of which will be placed into a large bowl.

The Secret Service will take charge of the bowl and transport it to the White House roof and deliver it to the sniper on duty at the time

The Secret Service will take charge of the bowl and transport it to the White House roof and deliver it to the sniper on duty at the time overlooking the Rose Garden.

The sniper will will cover their eyes and draw out a ticket, uncover their eyes and loudly call out the number on the ticket.

The Representative holding that number will be the next President if they yell out “Bingo!” in a timely manner. After the winner makes their way to a position near the current President, the Secret Service agent will throw a hula hoop into the crowd until one is encircled and becomes the next VP. (Note: Only one hula hoop should be required for this process because all Secret Service agents will have received extensive training on how to accurately toss a hula hoop in such a manner as to encircle one person.)

Citizenship

Citizenship requirements for Representatives are minimal. Each state must select their own Representatives and no one really cares how they do it. All candidates in the age-appropriate group must have been living in their state for at least six months and have a current driver’s license. Where they came from doesn’t matter.

Terms of Office

The new President will serve for 33 years or until they die from exhaustion.

Representatives will serve from age 18-33 or until they die from exhaustion.

The only government employee allowed to continue employment will be the President.

There will be no campaigning.

TV Networks will not interrupt evening shows with political updates.

The new President can either retain current cabinet members, or appoint new ones from the Pool of their Peers. Doing this will require that those selected are replaced by the state the represent. This will be done by lottery conducted by the current governor using the same method used to select the President.

Sounds simple, right?

When I get my own planet, that’s the way we’re going to do things.

If you actually read this far I you need to know that all of the foregoing was done shortly after I got up at 5 am. And, after I watched about an hour.5 of Queen on YouTube. I admit this freely because I, too, am quite astounded that I did it. And, I enjoyed it. Freddie Mercury was quite amazing and Adam Lambert still is.

Who knew?

Note: I briefly considered reading this and editing it a little, but hanged my mind. Diane will do that when she reads it. Although I inadvertently committed a potential fashion crime, by wearing brown socks with grey slacks to church on Sunday, I believe she will give me an accurate critique of my efforts.

Wish me luck.