Author Archives: Jerrie Cate

Good News For Golfers

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I have it on good authority that all golfers in the world, or at least in the USA, are going to realize a benefit based on the fiasco of the FBI releasing Hillary of blame for lying to Congress, and her blatant refusal to use an appropriate, secure, government controlled, email server. The FBI decision, I believe, was that she did all those things without meaning to so cannot be blamed. No intent to cause harm, so she walks. Then the AG steps up and abides by the FBI ruling sidestepping her requirement to uphold the law herself. Kinda makes those of us who know that, because we reside lower on the tree of forgiveness, we would be held fully accountable and probably sent to jail. Obviously two sets of rules are in play here.

Now back to golf …

There will no longer be a penalty stoke for hitting a ball into the water or out of bounds. The USGA , the R&A, the PGA, after a private meeting with Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch, on a plane somewhere, have recommended that your opponent must prove that you intended to hit the ball into these hazards in order for there to be a penalty.

Carelessness or ignorance is not intent.

No intent-no penalty stroke.

My good friend, Jimmie O’, who keeps a watchful eye on all things golf, relayed this bit of info to me. Sounds like a boon, to me. I’m sure Hillary is thinking the same. No, probably not. I think she’s more attuned to getting her way and would find being at fault, for any infraction, a travesty of justice.

My Feet, Diabetes Type II, and The VA

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Good news! My feet are in great shape. I know that’s true because a Podiatrist told me so today. He works at the VA and I was sent to see him because I have Type II Diabetes, something relatively new for me, and my primary care doc wanted to ensure my feet were in good working order. You know, not all cracked and bleeding. Sure, she could have looked at them herself, but apparently she’s been trained mainly on things to do with ones innards, not outtards. So, off to the podiatrist.

It was a long wait. Something over two months. Perhaps you know that the VA is offering alternate care for folks who can’t be seen within 30 days. Well, it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. I was called by the folks who offer the alternative care when they were made aware of the long delay, but the trouble is, that was about 1.5 months into my wait. Since the original appointment was just around the corner I told them to forget it. I wasn’t in all that big of a hurry anyway. There’s a perfectly good pair of wire cutters that I use for toe nails and, apparently, according to my Podiatrist, I’m doing OK with them. So, I shall continue.

I had a toenail job at a salon once that Diane had arranged for me, and that was interesting. That was many years ago and I haven’t felt the need to return. The lady who did my toes kind of concerned me when she got into some really heavy breathing toward the end of my treatment. I’m sure she was very into feet. That’s OK, but it was a little disconcerting. Perhaps I’ll give it another try soon, I’m sure, since I have this affliction and it’s way easier for someone else to deal with my feet than me. They seem to be getting farther and farther away.

I have neuropathy, too. In my left foot. It’s not bad. Yet. My Podiatrist told me, and Diane, who was in the room with me, that he has patients who suffer from the burning pain of neuropathy all the time. What I have is actually nothing compared to that. Just a little numbness in spots. The main spot is in the ball of my foot and has caused me concern for years because it feels exactly like my sock is wadded up right in that area. I’ve learned, over time, that no amount of pulling on my sock will fix it. My heart hurts for those who suffer from such advanced versions of neuropathy. It’s pretty brutal. So, Jerrie’s going to take good care of his feet.

I’m one of the lucky ones, so far. I just take pills and make sure I don’t pig out on food that has a lot of Carbs in it. Seems to be working just fine.

I’ve sat here way too long past my bedtime so have to quit before Diane gets cranky with me.

Later

Jess, Our Girls, Calendars, Cookies, and a Mystery

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It’s a cold, dark and dreary Sunday morning, fitting for the day after a solemn farewell to Jess. She was only 38 years old when she died in an automobile accident last month. This event, and the subsequent memorial service is significant because Jess is Ceiarra’s, Enola’s, and Chloe’s Mom. Three great kids caught up in the turmoil of custody battles over the past few years and then losing their Mom before the dust settled.

Another significant aspect is that Ceiarra and Lydia are probably the best friends ever in the world of how best friends treat each other. It’s an amazing bond they have and one, I’m sure, that helped them both absorb the shock of this loss with minimal damage. Jess will be missed, but she will always be loved by those who were dear to her, and she will never be forgotten by anyone who ever had the privilege of knowing her.

Here’s our girls – Lydia and Ceiarra.

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Tomorrow’s Monday and I have Physical Therapy on Tuesday. That means I only have one day to do all the exercises I missed since last Thursday. Dang.

Whitney, our neighbor, paid us a visit earlier this evening wanting to borrow oatmeal. That’s what she said. Really, I think, she came over to make the dogs bark. I’m sure I’m wrong about that, however, because they bark at anyone who knocks on the door … or drives by. Or simply walks by … on a street 1/4 mile away. They are very alert. Anyway, Whitney said she’d bring us cookies if she could borrow some oatmeal. Of course we gave her all we had. In about 10 minutes she was back with a plate of hot cookies and the remainder of the oatmeal. I swear it was a trick because I’ve never seen anyone make cookies that fast. I ate two of them right away. Good job, Whitney.

Diane and I share our calendars and it’s become a source of entertainment for me. The only entry for tomorrow is “Remember chicken – freezer to garbage”. So, she puts garbage in the freezer until garbage day. Interesting. I wonder how much of that I’ve eaten in the past while left alone long enough that I had to cook something to eat. Or starve. Maybe I should start reading the labels on that stuff.

Another thing I see, at least once a month, is “Jerrie cleans furnace air filters”. It’s funny because it’s stated like I actually do that. I thought all I had to do was reset the little timer thing that lets us know when to do it. I didn’t know it was an actual job. No doubt I’ll be hearing more about that in a little while.

Next Friday is Jerrie Ann Diane’s 5th birthday. My how time flies. She’s getting to be quite a little personality. Since she has Gilligan and Baylee to help with that, I wouldn’t expect anything less.DSC_3701

And, don’t forget that Gracie’s birthday is coming up next month and, according to Jim, she’s probably expecting a party. I don’t have a photo or I’d add one here.

On a parting note, I must share a pretty special thing that happened this morning. As previously reported, Jewel is residing with us. This morning she came out of her room holding a penny in the palm of her hand and asked us if we had lost it. She found it laying on the rug in her room as soon as she got up. But, we don’t go in her room, and that rug had been vacuumed more than once in the past week. What’s interesting is it was a 1913 penny. Both of our Mom’s were born in 1913 and they graduated from High School together in Nebraska. Jewel and I were both born in 1944 and graduated from High School together in Scappoose. Neither of our Mom’s were aware that they lived only a few miles apart for many years until my brother, Jack, figured out the relationship between them. What a surprise. So, the question is, how did the 1913 penny wind up on Jewel’s bedroom floor? And, what does it mean?

I leave you to ponder that as I prepare myself for bed.

G’nite.

Uncluttering the Garage & Basement

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Diane and Jewel abandoned me today with strict instructions that I stay away from power equipment. So, I cleaned the garage, organizing “things” into piles for throw away, give away, and donate, as I have done many times in the past. This process involves lots of trips up and down the basement stairs in order to take tools down there from the garage, and bring something back up for one of the piles. I made a very concerted effort to not go either direction without carrying something with me. Once, or twice, I kind of lost track, I admit, and just carried the same item up and down the stairs until I figured out where it went. It usually doesn’t take me that long, but I’m tired today after all that weed whacking yesterday.

Once I was done with the garage I went to work on my computer collection with the intention of removing them to the garage to stage them for my next trip to the city dump. They have a section where electronic equipment of all sorts are welcome at no charge. My first trip up was for a 19″ CRT monitor that hasn’t been used in about 16 years and has been collecting dust all that time. I actually have two of them but one belongs to an old Compaq system I bought from Radio Shack (a long time ago) when Windows 98 was the newest operating system on the block. Shortly before moving beyond Win98 I set that computer to OOTB condition. That means out of the box. So, it’s like a brand new Windows 98 computer with nothing on it. How cool is that? It isn’t very useful, but it’s still cool and will stand proud next to my 128 system.

The monitor mentioned previously weighs about 185 lbs and proved difficult to handle. But I managed to get it clutched tightly to my chest with the glass side toward me so if I fell, and it broke, nothing else in the house would be damaged. I would absorb explosion and all the resultant glass fragments. Once in hand, I took my first step and tripped over an old brief case that I used way back in 1965. Yes, it’s been sitting around all that time waiting for this moment. I caught it with my left foot which caused me to fall to my left against a pile of laptops I got from somewhere that were stacked on top of the Panasonic radio/record/tape console that we purchased in 1968 while on Okinawa. It saved me from falling all the way to the floor, and from dropping that extra heavy monitor. My left wrist was slightly damaged in the process, but nothing broke. It was an odd event because just as I started to tip to my left time kind of stopped and gave me a moment to consider all the possibilities associated with this event. Like, “man, if I break something Diane will never forgive me because she wanted to take me the next time I went”, and “if my wrist breaks I’ll still be able to drive to the ER”, and “crap, this is really going to hurt.” But, I maintained my balance, regained a vertical position and got the monitor upstairs to the truck for delivery.

Now, a few hours later, my wrist has a bump at the point of impact and is extremely sore when touched. But I can type just fine so doubt if it’s anything to worry about. So, I won’t. As soon as Diane got home, and we had unloaded her truck from the Costco trip, I told her about my near fatal injury so if it manifests into anything of concern, it’s her fault.

The ringing in my ears has escalated to the point that indicates it’s time for me to go squeegee the sweat off my tired old body and begin preparations for getting prone for the night. It’s only 5:30 pm, but I’ve discovered that it’s never too early to begin getting ready for bed.

Aunti Jo is 95, My Friends Larry & Larry, Hillary, and Weed Whacker Back

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I went to coffee today, in the old truck, and had a nice visit with my friend Larry and my other friend Larry. I arrived early and was delighted to find Jack, my brother Jack’s brother-in-law. He was sitting with Jerry H. who wanted to know what Jewel and her husband did with the 1957 Corvette they used to have. I knew the answer but gave him Jewel’s phone number instead so he could ask her. Just so you know, she traded it in on a VW bug. I think.

I, Larry, and Larry solved many of the world’s problems between sips of coffee from cups that never ran dry. One of the big topics was Hillary and how she got away with lying to Congress and making supremely bad decisions as USSOS (United States Secretary of State). Our friend, James, said,

“While the FBI had found that Mrs. Clinton and her aides had been “extremely careless” in their handling of classified material, there was no clear evidence that anyone intentionally mishandled information, obstructed justice or appeared to be disloyal to the U.S. in the process.”

Makes me wonder how many people are in prison for doing exactly the same thing. The difference, of course, is those in prison are not privileged members of our society and don’t have the means to fight for their own cause.

The unwillingness of the FBI Director, James Comey, and our esteemed Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, to follow through with some sort of punishment for Hillary’s actions is proof that our laws are enforced using double standards that favor certain people.

Enough. Sorry.

Jewel has been very busy weed whacking and raking the remains off all the berms around the house. Today after my physical therapy session I joined the effort by doing some weed whacking of my own. I did so much weed whacking, for so long, that I literally burned up my plug-in whacker and thereby causing an end to my efforts for the day. I know it was burned up because it was smoking. It’s probably still under warranty but I have no idea where the receipt is. Thankfully we have one of the WORX 56V units that provides enough power to weed whack for more than enough time to cause damage.

As a result of our efforts, both Jewel and I have Weed Whacker Back, a terrible affliction that only certain kinds of wine and cheese can resolve. Since I don’t drink wine, I’m stuck with just cheese so my WWB won’t fade nearly as fast as Jewel’s.

While working on our WWBs Diane was busy doing laundry and cleaning the entire house with her trusty Shark Vacuum Cleaner so she wound up with a severe case of HC&LB (House Cleaning & Laundry Back). Still, she whipped up a tasty meal of left over chicken and beans, and added mashed potatoes, salad, and cream corn. It was pretty awesome. I also got a piece of Aunt Jo’s birthday cake that was served at the party honoring her 95th year on earth. Pretty amazing and she’s still going strong.

Now I must make my way to the living room where the TV is on and see if I can convince the owner of the remote to switch to something besides HGTV for a little while.

Cheers.

Hope The 4th Was With You, and Toilets

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It is my sincere hope that all of you who celebrate the 4th of July with fireworks wound up with the correct number of fingers, toes, eyes, and ears this morning. There are many who dwell among us whose common sense, when lighting explosive things, fails them due to the influence of alcohol or other drugs of choice. When they wake up missing digits they will lament their decisions, just like all of those who served as bad examples before them. It’s amazing, don’t you think? History repeating itself over and over. I believe the prime reason for this kind of behavior is nature’s way of improving the gene pool.

We had a festive group at our house for a BBQ yesterday. The Walters Clan, The Cate clan, and new family member Jewel attended as did Diane’s Mom, Jean, who, if you remember, broke her wrist a little over a week ago. The brace provided by the orthodontist she visited helped a lot but we suspect her upcoming visit to an orthopedist will provide her with better broken bone management. She’s been told it may never heal, but what do orthodontists know. Teeth. That’s what they know. Not bones.

After all the eating was done we older members of society sat back and listened as the din of conversation subsided a little with each person who left. When all those who wear younger clothes were gone there was a brief sense of loss before the quiet seeped in. Then one of the neighbors set of a stick of dynamite that set off a bunch of car alarms.

Regarding dynamite. It’s apparently legal in Oregon. Only fireworks that leave the ground are illegal. So, of course, the majority of those exploding around us were airborne. Pretty, but totally illegal. Making it more fun is the uncut hay-field just below us. Thankfully, nothing caught on fire so I guess you could call it a successful 4th celebration.

Here’s an example of what transpired off to the south of our back porch.

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Ziva, our black dog who enjoys lounging in bushes while outside, was very vocal about all the noise. Eventually she got used to it and only complained about the really loud ones that she could see and hear at the same time. She had a really good time, as did we.

This morning I visited my new physical therapist, Bret, who has already made my pain less. But, the day is not done.

My mission for today is to install our new tall toilet in my bathroom for Diane. She has trouble with short toilets. This will probably be an all day affair. I know because I’ve done it before and it always takes all day. For normal people it’s about a 30 minute job. Not me. I make it last because it’ so much fun. Last night I asked Diane if I should take the new toilet out of the box and put it in the bedroom so she could practice sitting on it, but she declined. I think she was afraid she might trip over it in the middle of the night while on her way to the short toilet. I would like to put the short toilet in the yard so we can use it for a Redneck BBQ and beer cooler combo … like this …

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She’s not a fan. She won’t even consider making a planter out of it, like this …

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Now, tell me. Who wouldn’t want something like that sitting on your front porch? I find it very welcoming and pleasant. But, no, we’ll just have to find someone in need of a short toilet and pass it along.

That’s about it for today.

Have a safe 5th as you finish off all those fireworks left over from yesterday.

News in the News

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Amid all the shootings, and stories about people blowing each other up, is a scattering of nonsensical news items that make me pause and go, “Hmmm.”

First, I must tell you that I typically don’t watch the news and I rarely read the newspapers that are delivered to our door, so my news view is decidedly limited. Still, I have opinions about what I see when reading “Bing” news on my computer.

Using that handy doorway to the world I’m able to choose from many sources for any of the news items they deem noteworthy. I have my favorites, of course, but tend to look at the most recent entries available. I suspect the trivial items are included to dilute ones perception of news in general to keep their interest. You know, like scattering candy in a pile of crap to make it look more festive.

Take today, for instance. I’ve investigated the world and discovered that a “Popular Tucson TV Reporter Couple” have been charged with child abuse after their baby tested positive for cocaine. This was accomplished through the use of the former Miss Arizona contestant’s shapely left breast, while feeding her infant, after she ingested cocaine the previous evening. How fun. Now she’s newsworthy, but no longer reporting the news. Dumb.

Then there’s news about a Milwaukee woman who has been added to the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted list. She’s the suspect in the murder of her pregnant neighbor and her unborn infant because of loud music. One source indicated that Shanika, the suspect, is Milwaukee’s first fugitive on the ‘Ten Most Wanted List’, like it’s some kind of honor, like when the Bucks win a ball game. Kinda makes you want to move to Milwaukee, doesn’t it?

How about Mark Z, Mr. Facebook? He’s making all his new Kauai neighbors angry because he’s building a six-foot high wall around his 700 acre estate. That’s certainly noteworthy, don’t you think? His spokespeople said the wall is meant to be a sound barrier but I think it’s there to keep the wild pigs out. Or maybe keep them in. One resident of the island reported that she’s 5’8″ tall and when walking along the property all she can see is the rock wall instead of the Hawaiian scenery to which she’s accustom. They want Mark to tear down the wall because it’s an eye sore. I mean, really? It was built to code, using local rocks and, most likely, local artisans. I think it’s a nice looking wall. I also think a more simple solution to tearing it down would be for Mark to build platforms outside the wall, every 100 feet or so, where those who are less than 6′ tall can ascend above the wall and take in all of Mark’s natural beauty. Each ramp would have to have wheelchair access, of course.

 For the sports minded folks, there’s news about LeBron James who declined his player option and is now a free agent. The reason, I surmise, is due to his inherently greedy nature that propels him to seek more and more money for his “talents”. Yes, he’s pretty good but, like all pro sports icons, waaaaaay overpaid for what they do. Declining the option, it is reported, James salary will increase from $24 million to $27.5 million a year, a modest 14.58% increase. Not bad for someone who already has far more money than he needs.

I know, I sound a bit bitter talking about stuff like that, and probably smacks a lot like socialism. That’s not really it for me. It’s just that I find it amazing that professional athletes, and most CEO’s make such obscene amounts of money each year when we severely under educated kids, many of whom don’t know what having a full belly is like. It’s just sad.

There are many more topics, of course, most of them about people getting shot and places being blown to smithereens. You know, fun things to read about. The topper for all of today’s news, for me, was finding out that there might be a Tetris Trilogy in our future.

Stunning news.

Cedric’s Party & My Big Blue Yoga Ball

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I gave Jewel my favorite Apple ear buds to use while working in the flower beds and the first thing she did was cut the cord with a pair of scissors. Consequently, she was tuneless for a while.

Diane and I were going to be camping at Big Eddy Park this week, but her Mom, Jean, decided to live on the edge last Friday and broke her wrist in 15 places. Trying to pull an unwanted tree out of the ground. To make a bad situation worse, it’s her right hand, the one she uses the most. So, with her right arm splinted and wrapped, she’s learning to use her left hand for all her needs and is doing a very nice job of it. Not bad for almost 89. It was only broken in one place and it’s not a complete separation, but I’m sure it hurts like one. Tramadol is making her life much easier and is also helping with her back pain. Mom is doing great and we could probably have gone camping but we’re more comfortable sticking around in case she get adventurous and breaks something else.

Yesterday was Cedric’s farewell party. He doesn’t leave for boot camp until July 17th, but the party had to be held early to ensure all of his friends could make it. It was well attended by all members of the family, many friends, and at least one new friend who recently arrived from Hawaii. We all ate a bunch of Subway sandwiches and had a great time. We even saw Cedric a couple of times as he passed through. He was a busy guy.

One of the highlights for me was that Ceiarra hugged me back. Made my day. She hasn’t done that in the past.

I had a new chair for my computer. It was a huge yoga ball and, surprisingly, it was very comfortable. It actually got me high enough that my keyboard was in an ergonomically correct position. Less tiresome to use for Jerrie’s little arms. Plus, I could bounce up and down a bit while working which satisfied my whimsical side. Everything was just great until about an hour ago when it blew up and dropped me about two feet to the floor. I landed on my little 72-year-old elbows, the back of my head (against the wall) and my skinny-ish butt. It was pretty exciting, I must admit. For about 1 second I was in total free fall so now I know how an astronaut feels in outer space. Really. I do. However, I bet their elbows, back and head don’t hurt once gravity returns.

I didn’t get up right away because I wasn’t sure if everything would work. This caused Diane concern and she wanted to call 911. I declined. I got up all by myself and don’t limp any worse from my sciatica than normal so I guess things will be alright. Until tomorrow morning, at least. My left elbow is already starting to swell from the impact so Diane will probably make me go to the doctor.

She’s gonna have to drag me there.

The Dead Golfer’s Agreement

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So, I went golfing a couple of days ago and didn’t do too badly. I even counted most of my strokes for a change, unlike Doug who counts absolutely everything he swings at. Still can’t beat him.

Around the fifth hole we discussed some of the final aspects of our Dead Golfer Agreement and at which point in the process we should notify the affected significant other. The preliminary suggestion, mine, was to do that just after calling 911 once we’re done with finished playing.

Here’s a DRAFT version of the DGA …

DRAFT

We, the undersigned, hereto and forever after, agree, tentatively, to perform the following steps, without fail, if we are able, in the event one of us checks out, permanently, during a round of golf in which all three of us participate, as long as the game is played at the St. Helens Golf Club.

Article One: Dying during one of the following events voids this agreement and requires that one of the surviving members call 911 immediately, or as soon as they are done going to the bathroom, to report the death. The other member will call the appropriate significant other to let them know.

  • While in the process of paying for the round and the cart
  • Driving the cart to the vehicle containing the clubs,
  • Transferring the clubs from the car to the cart
  • Driving to the first hole, Walking to the tee
  • While placing a ball on the tee
  • Taking practice swings
  • Addressing the ball
  • While in the backswing motion
  • While swinging down on the ball without making contact with the ball

Article Two: The game must be in progress for the articles of this agreement to be binding. To be in progress one member must have teed off at the first hole. Specifically, this means that the member has begun his swing and hits the ball. Since it will be difficult to know if a member dies at the moment his club impacts the ball, or just before that, the game will be considered in progress because he hit the ball.

Article Three: The member who discovers that a member has apparently entered a deceased mode is required by this agreement to verify if there is a pulse and if there is any sort of respiratory effort being made by the affected member.

  • If there is a pulse but no noticeable respiratory effort the vertical members will play one round of Rock-Paper-Scissors to determine who will perform mouth to mouth on the horizontal member. The winner of the RPS round is safe and can retire to the cart to prepare the bungee cords and rope in case they become necessary. Just in case.
  • If there is no pulse but the horizontal member is obviously attempting to breathe, one of the vertical members must perform chest compressions in an attempt to restart the heart. Apparently pounding on the chest is a valid form of CPR and may ‘scare’ the heart back into action. They do that in comic books.
  • If any CPR action works, the members will allow the golfers behind them to play through until the striken member is well enough to continue the game.
  • If the striken member cannot continue the round he will be declared the loser, and will be returned to his vehicle where he must wait until the other two complete the round.
  • Once the round is complete, one of the un-striken members should probably call a doctor, or call 911, just in case.

Article Four: If CPR actions fail, the horizontal member will be declared deceased. The time will be noted and written on the scorecard next to their name in this manner: TOD mm/dd/yyyy-hh:mm-am/pm.

Article Five: After recording TOD, surviving members will extract the bungee cords and ropes, which they are all required to carry, from their golf bags, and they will drag the horizontal member to his assigned cart and place him in the passenger seat. Bungee cords and rope will be used to the extent necessary secure the deceased member in an upright position and to limit the possibility of him falling out of the cart during the remainder of the round.

Article Six: When the round is complete, and all golfers are safely back at their vehicles, one of the survivors will call 911 and the other one will call the correct significant other. Waiting for the authorities to arrive would be a good time to alert other golfers in the area about this event so they can express their condolences and to receive a commemorative golf ball from the deceased member’s bag.

This agreement will, of course, need revision but I think you get the drift.

Golf & Pain

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Happy First Day of Summer! It’s finally here! Now we have to start watering the front lawn so it will grow giving Diane a reason to play on the lawn mower. She can’t do that, however, until she finishes up out back. It’s a mess.

Rumor has it that I have to go golfing tomorrow because our weatherman, JP, said it’s going to be a good day for it. So, we go golf. The problem for me is that I had my pneumonia booster today and my left arm is incredibly sore. The young lady who stabbed me did a good job with the needle, but when she mashed the plunger I almost cried. She said she was sorry, but there wasn’t much that could be done at that point. So, now I have to swing a club with all that pain in my left arm in addition to the rotator cuff pain in the right one. Yes, I have to go swing that club. Should be a good day.

Does anyone know someone at this number: +93 8808191 ?? According to my phone it’s somewhere in Afghanistan. I don’t know anyone there.

I’m keeping this short because it hurts to sit long due to my sciatica piraformis.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Have a great day.