This morning I awoke in the RV in Ocean Park, Washington with no memory of how I got here. Diane and the dogs are also here, as is the Buick, so apparently it was a planned event. Since the Buick is here, the assumption is that I drove the RV all by myself, but I think Panzee must have driven part of the time. There’s no other reasonable explanation because Ozzie’s legs are just too short to reach the pedals.

I learned this morning that I was driving when we got here, and I parked the rig with JR’s assistance, and worked really hard to get TV reception so Diane could watch Obama’s speech last night. So, I was externally lucid at the time, but comatose on the interior.

It’s really not a bad way to get around because it’s a lot like time travel … you begin your trip the, ZAP, you’re there. How convenient.

Heather and Jeff shared a picture on Facebook of a wide eyed guy with the caption “I’m smarter then you’re”. I’m going to have that put on a t-shirt. It’s very cool.

It’s later in the day now so, so it’s apparent something interesting has happened since I quite earlier. Let’s see … I went golfing with Doug, JP, and Mike. Everyone but Doug did terrible. Doug shot 3 over par. Nice. I was double par, at least.

After hanging my head for a short period of time, JP and I returned to the camp site to see if the girls were back from their garage sale extravaganza. They were already done and were sorting through their treasures.

It’s miserable hot today, one of the reasons I golfed so badly, I’m sure. All that sweat dripping in my eyes stung, making it hard to see and concentrate at the same time. Since I have trouble doing that when I’m not sweating, it was doubly bad. So, that’s the real reason I golfed badly. There can be no other reason.

My mind just dried up so I’m quitting,

So, there I was, just a walkin’ down the street, singing, “do wah diddy, diddy, dum, diddy, do. Shuffling my fingers, and a snappin’ my feet … ”

That’s not quite right, I don’t think, so I’m moving on to something else … besides, a vision of Tom’s kotex-covered leg wound just zoomed through my head destroying any sense of direction that I may have had with wherever I was going above.

Monday, Labor Day, in case you forgot, Diane ushered me out of the house before 0700 to participate with other International Lion’s members to place American flags throughout the city of St. Helens in honor of the day.

After planting the flags along the street we ate breakfast at the Sunshine Pizza joint. I had two runny eggs, a piece of ham, and hash browns. Not being one to keep things separated on my plate, I immediately chopped everything into pieces and mixed it up on my plate. This distressed some of the more fussy people in my vicinity. I didn’t mind that they were distressed.

After breakfast I retired to the golf course where Doug and I had one of the worst rounds we’ve had in years. But, we laughed the entire time. That’s more important than playing really, really well. It would be nice to have a decent round but, at this point in time, I’m just happy when I hit the ball and it goes kinda where I aimed it. Monday, that was my first hit off the #1 tee … it was the best drive I’ve ever had. It was so good that I almost wet my pants. Almost. It all went downhill from there, but it was OK.

Later in the day I returned to help extract the flags so they could be returned to storage. Keith and I walked the entire route, covering almost 2 miles. I know that’s true because Keith drove his car on the route and determined it was 1.8 miles, a fact he shared in an email to me. I rounded up to 2 because it was pretty close, and it looks better on my walking chart.

I don’t actually have a walking chart so I lied. If I had one, 2 would certainly look better than 1.8, don’t you think? Maybe I should start a walking chart. It would be east to just make stuff up about how far I walk every day. Yea, that would be pretty simple. If I decide to do

Today … hmmm … short term memory issues, here. Oh ya, I had to be at the church by 0900 to meet an estimator from a local furnace installer so he could see what he has to deal with in order to replace the current furnace that was installed somewhere around the turn of the century. It’s old. Actually, there are two of them that we want them to replace with one. A cheap one. Figure the odds of that.

While waiting for the estimator, I gave Floyd a hand with with the moss issue in the drain thingie around the church. Floyd is always working around the church, it seems, and it really bugs me because it makes me feel guilty about not helping more. As he indirectly told me, “that’s my problem, not his.” So true. Because of that, I vow to devote more of my time to aid in the upkeep of the church … if I remember … or if Diane reminds me … or if Floyd calls me. Any of those would work, but it would be best if I could just remember.

During the day I put another coat of sheetrock mud on the repair job in the closet in Lydia’s room. It’s Lydia’s room because that’s where she always sleeps when she spends the night. Diane’s really anxious for me to get it back together so she can hang up the 1/3 of her clothes that are currently stacked on Lydia’s bed. She can’t remember what’s there but it’s probably a very good bet that what ever’s on the bottom of the pile is really wrinkled now. I’d put it together tomorrow, if we were going to be home, but we’re not. We’re going to the beach to take a gander at all the lovely vehicles in the “Rod Run to End of the World” in Ocean Park, Washington. It’s quite a gala event that ends on Sunday with a 20-mile-long string of custom cars cruising down the road. It’s not to be missed if you’re ever in the area. It will be especially fun for us because we have two friends bringing their custom, and classic vehicles. The event is only for 1982 and older vehicles, but Jerry 1’s 2012 Camaro isn’t eligible, but he’ll be there just for fun on Saturday. The other friend is a contender with his 1965 VW Bus. Fun stuff. More on that next week.

I forgot something … what’s new there? … I reinstalled the ceiling in the RV and made Diane very happy. It took me two days for the glue to dry before I could pick it up. I’ll have to take a picture of it just for fun.

Time to stop.

This is a short update for a couple of things I’ve mentioned recently.

First, Breezie’s bell has been mostly successful … she’s only been able to present us with one hummingbird since it was attached. I’d call that successful, all things considered, and it’s caused her to change tactics a llittle bit, moving to a more aggressive approach …

She’s not the least bit concerned that the bird feeder is empty, confident that a bird will eventually forget she’s there and take a chance.

A more recent update was provided by Tom who sent me a picture of his kotexed leg wound. It’s not nearly as bad as I thought it would be and, considering the nature of his wound, a kotex is a great choice to keep it sanitary … once it’s unwrapped …

Interesting title, but that’s all that came to mind. Plus, it’s descriptive.

Before getting into the specifics, however, let me catch you up …

Yesterday I golfed with Doug and JP. I actually did pretty good considering I used my brand new 9 degree driver for the very first time. That’s significant because until just a few years go I couldn’t get my 10.5 degree driver to lift a ball higher than about 10 feet. This one, however, is sending drives soaring, straight and long. The only trouble is that I still can’t aim worth a new hoot. Long and straight into a cow pasture isn’t a good thing, unless it is part of the fairway, which is sometimes the case. I was especially please with my new driver because it only cost me $4.99 at Goodwill. With Diane’s old person discount card (OPDC) it was only $4.49. Nice! I don’t have an OPDC.

After golfing I continued my ongoing project of getting Diane’s bathroom back in order. Actually, the bathroom is already in order, and working, but I haven’t covered the hole in the adjacent closet, or the hole in Diane’s Girl Room ceiling. Having a hole in the ceiling is convenient for me because when I rip out pieces of the closet wall, it just falls down through the holes for the tub drain, and I don’t have to sweep it up because it lands on Diane’s ironing board. This, of course, causes stress in our marriage to the point she yelled at me for some unassociated event and I had to play the lawyer card. I’m going to have to quit doing that because there is increasing danger that she will tell me to “go ahead”, then I’d be absolutely lost. So, that won’t happen. No more lawyer threats.

Today we had lunch at the Scappoose Ixtapa Restaurant with Jerry1, Jerry3, Nelda, Linda, Tom, Vie, and Coleen. That’s always a hoot because I learn so many new things. I suspect some of the things I learn at these gatherings are things I once learned at past gatherings with the same people, then forgot. But, it was new (again) today.

The most significant thing I learned today is that taping a kotex to an old leg wound doesn’t absorb very much blood unless you unwrap it first. Apparently each kotex comes wrapped in a material that looks a lot like fabric so, not being a regular kotex user, I probably would have made the same mistake Tom did. Linda discovered this grievous error in Tom’s behavior and immediately educated him on the mechanics of how to unwrap a kotex. Apparently it’s not difficult because he caught on right away and, now that all his friends know about it, he will never forget. He has no doubt he will be asked about this over, and over. We may even be able to contract with him to give a short seminar on what he’s learned, at our next gathering.

Now, about the leg wound … this isn’t a minor issue because it’s not healing well next to the bone. That’s not good, and that’s the reason for the kotex … the wound has to remain open so it can heal from the inside out. It would have been much simpler if he hadn’t cut so deep, but that’s now a moot point that has to be dealt with. So, I urge all of you to send kind, healing thoughts to Tom’s leg so it will heal properly. The sooner the better as far as Linda is concerned because, since Tom typically wears shorts everywhere, she thinks it’s a little unsightly, and perhaps unsanitary for him to walk around with a bloody kotex strapped to the back of his leg. Today he wore long legged pants so it wasn’t a problem. He wouldn’t show me the wound, however, or I would have a photo so share. I bet is’t really something. It’s not so much about the wound, though that’s not good, but for me it’s about an opportunity of seeing someone with a kotex taped to his leg. For now I’ll just have to be content with the knowledge that I at least know someone who does that, and imagine what it must look like.

After a wonderful lunch, during which we all talked non-stop, and ate too much, we came home and I immediately went back to work on the closet. Diane abandoned me to go see what kind of supplies she’s going to need in order to cook Community meals on Thursday. I was only allowed to use a hammer, chisel, pry bar, and my shop vac. I know, the shop vac required electricity but isn’t officially a power tool, so it was OK.