Tag Archives: travel

Hi. It’s me again. Max

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It’s been a hectic time since I’ve had a chance to share ‘stuff’ with all of you. Until yesterday, things were pretty normal. Except for the cat. I don’t know why, but Louie seems to be growing on me a little and that’s disturbing. I’m a professional Cat Chaser and Louie just lays there. He won’t run anywhere except to get under the bed. That’s just no fun at all because I bump my head a lot when I run under there. I’m not as short as some people might think.

Then, the day before yesterday, my humans started packing things into the trailer they parked next to the garage. I’ve seen them do that before and it winds up with me stuck in this little basket they put on the center console between the buckets. They call it my throne. It’s not so bad, really, and it gives me an opportunity to get a lot of sleep unless we pass a herd of cows and one of them says “Look at the cows!” real loud. Of course, it scares me a little, jerks me awake and I can’t help but look out the window to find the cows. No matter how hard I try to ignore things like that, I always fall for it because I like finding cows on our trips. Squirrels are more fun, though.

Seeing what was going on, I figured I might as well get myself in the mood for another trip. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love trips. The alternative is to be left home. Alone. With Louie. The cat. I’ll take the trip every time.

The packing went well past noon so they decided to delay the departure until the next day. I overheard them say that they had originally planned to make it to Memaloose State Park off I-84 on the Columbia River. Instead, they decided to drive straight to Boardman RV Park which was supposed to be the second leg.

After digesting all of that, it makes me wonder why they plan things at all. Doing things when the mood strikes is more fun. There’s more mystery that way.

So, yesterday we got the trailer hooked up and I insisted that I be allowed to wait in the truck where I happily climbed into my Throne.

The trip was OK. They stopped in Scappoose, all of 8 miles away, for a dead chicken sandwich, then we headed east. All I got out of that was a couple of french fries.

The trip through the Columbia River Gorge was very interesting. There were lots of waterfalls that normally aren’t there. Seeing all that water cascading off the cliffs made me want to pee. A lot. Finally, they stopped at the Walmart in Hood River so I could unload. It was very gratifying.

We arrived around 4 pm. I didn’t get to go for a walk until everything was hooked up. Then I got a long one. My human is good about walking with me but he doesn’t keep up very well.

After the walk we ate, they watched TV, then we all went to bed. It was the 1st day and it was good.

Today I got another walk in the morning then they both left me alone for a few hours while they went somewhere else. I have no idea where. So, I curled up in my Serta Perfect Sleeper and stayed there all day. When they got back I was served dinner on the lawn next to the Columbia River. It was very romantic. Then I got another walk around the park. This time, however, I got to go play in the river! Then I ran a bunch of Zoomies at the end of my leash until I got dried off. It was a lot of fun. Not like Milton Creek, but fun anyway. When my toenails get ground off a little more I’ll be able to download some photos Dad (Jerrie) took of my swimming prowess. Right now they are just too pointy and would probably scratch his computer. A dead giveaway that I’ve been messing with his stuff.

I’m going to stop this now because it’s taken me 4 days to get this far and we’ve only covered 1 or 2 days.

To the Beach & Back

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Here I am, sitting in my recliner, Max hanging out between my legs, watching an NCAA Men’s playoff game (Clemson vs. Alabama) while Diane watches a recorded episode of The Bachelor. Living the dream.

In case you missed it, Kelsey (sp) won and got a humungus ring. Also, Alabama won the game. I don’t know who they play next. The game I watched before that one was UCONN vs. Illinois. Quite an amazing game. When the score was tied 23-23 UCONN went on a 30-0 run which kinda sealed it for them.

Now I’m compelled to lean into the goofy side of my brain. You may stop reading at any time and use your time in a more constructive way. I won’t mind at all.

Recently, Diane and I, and Max, spent a few days at Cape Lookout State Park near Tillamook where we didn’t even take one walk on the beach as a complete family. Max and I got out because he made it very clear that if I didn’t take him out he was going to crap in the trailer. That would not have made Diane happy. The weather was crappy so it really wouldn’t have been upset. But, we walked on the beach numerous times to avoid an unwanted nature call on the couch. He’s never done that but sometimes it’s difficult to deny physical needs that are ignored for too long. So, we walked and played.

The tide was out most of the times we walked making the beach appear to be enormous.

I tried to get him to run in the waves, and he did for about 30 seconds before dragging me back to the high tide mark that was littered with thousands of dead velella. They were odiferous and Max found them to be very appealing to his sensitive nose.

Left to his own devices he did his best to roll his little body in the sweet perfume of dead sea creatures but I won that tussle. He still needed a bath which he got when we returned to the trailer.

Those things were everywhere amongst the rocks.

To make the trip a little more enjoyable, we came upon some waterfalls that dribbled themselves onto the beach. They were very pretty and I did my best to get Max under them be he wasn’t having any of that.

Instead of choosing to rinse under one of the waterfalls he wandered toward the incoming tide, climbed on a rock and was promptly washed off into a roiling spin bath. I wish I had had some soap with me. I would have taken a photo but didn’t want to take a chance of dropping my phone into the water. Just trust me when I say he was thoroughly soaked when I managed to get him back to dry ground.

Snowbird Wannabes

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After many years of sticking around town we’re planning trips south for next fall. We’ve discussed doing this for years, but events and family ‘things’ prohibited such a trip. Now we actually have reservations to get it going.

First stop will be Fiddlers Cove on Naval Base Coronado, CA. Our plan is to be there for a month then we’ll move on to the Boneyard Vista Park on Davis-Monthan AFB in Tuscon, AZ. We’ve stayed on many bases during our various trips around the country but rarely with our RV. The exception is NAS Fallon, NV that was a topic of discussion not long ago.

One of the decisions we had to make was whether or not to use the motorhome or the travel trailer. When we bought the trailer, our intention was to sell the motorhome. Our pickup is rigged to be dingy towed, but the truck is more useful while towing the trailer. I think we’ve agreed to take the trailer so in case any of you are interested, the motorhome is for sale.

No, it doesn’t come with the tow car. Since this picture was taken the car was totaled when it got rear-ended at a crosswalk. If the Neptune piques your interest, let me know at Jerrie.cate@gmail.com and I send you particulars.

Today, March 1st, 2024, I took Max for a leisurely walk around the neighborhood like normal and we wound up walking in snow the entire way. Sadly, I didn’t take pictures, but everyone knows what snow looks like. It was just a surprise. We’ve had lots of rain all up and down the Left Coast and the remnants continue on across the country making life miserable for pretty much everyone in different ways. In general, everyone got wet everywhere. Some got more wet than others. For us it means the little crick in our backyard, that normally makes its way in a leisurely manner to the Columbia River turns into a muddy torrent. There’s no danger of water getting to our house, but sometimes it makes us wonder.

Max would like the creek a little lower and slower so he can go wading, one of his favorite things to do.

Now I must go do something productive.

Seaside,

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We’re on a short trip to lessen the sadness of forgoing a longer trip. The beach was selected because it’s Diane’s Happy Place. Even bad days at the beach are wonderful.

We left home yesterday around ‘noonish’ and drove almost straight through with only a short stop at Bradley State Park so Max could take a little walk. He’s a really good traveler buy why take chances, right? He was happy that we considered his needs.

There was a short discussion about getting fuel before checking in to our room at the Hillcrest Inn in Seaside but checking in first won the debate. According to the truck’s computer we could go another 70 miles or so, so we chose to wait until the next day. The afternoon was beautiful, even though it was gently raining, so we used the time wisely by walking on a windlass beach with just a few scattered people for Max to greet. Much better than filling the gas tank.

We checked in with Ruth, the owner and an ex-Marine, who we met years ago during our first visit to the Hillcrest Inn. Diane chose it because of the name; we lived on Hillcrest Road at the time. If you have lots of spare time to waste, you can search through my old posts because I know I’ve mentioned this place previously. I’d look it up for you but I’d rather not. I’m not much for doing research. Just trust me, if you wish. It’s really there somewhere.

After getting our key to one of the cabins, we took Max to the beach. There was no wind, it was almost warm out. It was a nicer walk. There were not many people on the beach so I let Max run free for a short time until he got too friendly with some folks he met. Specifically, there were 4 your girls laying in the sand covered with a blanket. Max, of course, took this as an invitation to snuggle and get some licks in. They didn’t seem to mind but I put him back on his leash and relieved them of his presence. He’s far too friendly for his own good.

Our walk took us to the Seaside Turnaround where, it’s reported, Lewis and Clark ended their journey to the Pacific Ocean. That’s a rendering of them, standing atop their pedestal, behind us, near my right eye.

Diane went out before lunch to snag a few things at Safeway. She really enjoys getting away from me when she can. Can’t say I blame her. There are times when I wouldn’t mind getting away from myself, too. While she was gone shopping Max and I lounged on the sofa while I read to him. He’s a fan of Lee Child and Isaac Asimov. Sometimes he likes Norah Roberts, too. I’ve tried reading him pet stories but he finds them too pedestrian for a dog of the world such as himself. So, I cater to his whims and read whatever he brings me.

After lunch, Diane departed on a longer journey to Warrenton to visit the Goodwill store, her favorite place. Then Max and I took as leisurely walk on the beach where we found untold numbers of dismembered Dungeness crabs. It’s hard to tell if the birds did it or if nocturnal beach people had their way with them. It looks a little like a sacrificial altar.

Max wanted to rearrange the display but I talked him out of it and we went back to our room. It was time because it was very windy and cold out there.

Early on in this narrative I stated that Diane likes to get away from me every chance she gets. That’s not totally accurate because we really enjoy each other’s company. But, she truly does love her alone time especially when she shops. I admit I tend to hover around her when I go too, and that can be annoying. So, it’s better that she goes alone. I’m afraid that if I don’t support her ‘time away’ we won’t reach our 60-year goal of wedded bliss.

I suspect it would be prudent if I terminate this before I start saying stuff I’ll regret. Cheers to you all. Stay safe and happy.

RV Troubles & Other Stuff

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I just realized, like just now, really, that I’m on the verge of failing my 2024 resolution already. And it’s only the 8th! I suspect that some of you might disagree with the “on the verge” claim and, instead, believe I’ve already exceeded the self-imposed timeframe for failure. For those of you on that side I submit that whatever rule I imposed is subjective meaning that I can change it any time I want. So, I’m still OK here.

It’s cold out there. Wet, too. Because of that double whammy it’s an adventure to take Max for a walk. My raincoat actually keeps me dry but Max’s raincoat is more like a sponge. I think it’s more of a coat to keep him warm instead of dry. But, that’s all he has. Considering the weather, I think Diane should do a little shopping and get something that’s a little more waterproof for the little guy. Don’t you? Maybe after she reads this, she’ll do it.

It might be a good idea to get him one that serves as a life jacket, too, because the creek out back is getting pretty high, almost to the point of overflowing into the yard. Keeping Max dry is our problem, not Max’s. He likes the water and doesn’t care how high it gets.

It’ll go back to normal eventually. Thankfully, he hasn’t fallen in while it’s running this high and fast. He’s not afraid of it but he respects the potential disastrous results should he venture in for a swim. I’ve had talks with him about that and I think he gets it. If he falls in my only recourse would be to make a beeline to the point where Milton Creek joins the Columbia River. That’s only a couple of miles away. If I miss him there then he’s getting a trip all the way to Astoria, another 60 miles. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to be dog-paddling that far. So, he keeps his distance.

We were going to make a trip to the coast later this week to watch the King Tides, and maybe see a couple of whales on their way south, but the rain, and the forecast for more rain isn’t encouraging. I know, we’re Oregonians and we love the rain. That’s true. But we don’t have to go out a play in it like we did when we were 7. Did I mention that it’s cold, too?

We’ve been dealing with RV woes for the past couple of months, trying to get new weather stripping around the slides and seal up a couple of leaky spots that annoy us. Nothing catastrophic, just annoying. I took the RV to a local dealer who recently moved to St. Helens from Gresham (I think) and explained what I was hoping to accomplish, and they gave me a quote for “about $700” which I thought wasn’t too bad. Labor’s the biggie at $159/hr. After they had it for about a week I was called and told the job is done and I could go get it.

I was happy to do that because there’s a huge mattress in the garage that needs to go back in it so we can park the truck inside. When I got there, I paid the bill, then I went to get in and take it home. First, however, I checked the items I had address to see how it was done and discovered that, gee, it wasn’t done. I know, should have checked first, right? True, but I’ve had other items fixed by them since they moved in and trusted them.

The Reader’s Digest version is that they addressed all the issues but didn’t finish any of them. The bill was over $900. I received assurance that all the discrepancies I pointed out while serving as their QC guy would be fixed at no additional cost to me.

Another week goes by and I get another call to come get the rig because the work was done. I paid them a visit and let them know I was going to check it out. The maintenance supervisor went with me. I checked all the items I’d previously address and found that it still hadn’t been addressed and the main leak in the driver’s area was worse than ever.

Another week trickles by and I get another call to come check it out and find that the leaks have stopped, the floor was dry, but the gasket around the main slide was still in the “partially fixed” stage. The same stage it was in the first time I was called to claim my finished rig. I personally pointed it out to them 3 times what I figured should be done and was obviously ignored. The lead tech acknowledged the failure on their part claiming that the guy he had working on it was focused on the leaks, not the gaskets. I believe he might finally understand that Jerrie isn’t pleased as he headed for the exit.

That’s where I left this mess last week sometime and I’m waiting for them to call me again to report completion. Diane told me to be stern and “don’t pay them another dime” or else she’ll go talk with them and it won’t be pretty. So, to keep from having to scrape up some bail money for her, I need to follow this to the end all by myself.

Looking forward to the next phone call reporting completion of this project.

This is the rig, you may recall, that we took on that Utah trip, pulling a big Silverado. It worked great but I decided during that trip that I’m getting too old to drive something this big.

So, not long after returning home we bought a replacement that we can tow behind the Silverado. Makes more sense, right?

Now, on another note, did you know that the front glass on an iMac is held in place by magnets and that the LCD screen is secured with only 8 teeny, tiny, little screws.

I’ve always wondered what the insides of this thing looked like.

Farewell 2023

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Since today is the last day of the year, and it’s been a while since I’ve shared anything with you, I thought it might be OK if I ended it with a recap of what we’ve been doing all year long. It will only take a couple of minutes.

January – Went to Hawaii for a couple of weeks.

February – Winnebago Friends visited and parked in our front yard for a few days. Then we visited Beverly Beach State Park.

March – Had all the carpet removed from our new home so LVP could be installed everywhere. We also invested in new counter tops in kitchen and both bathrooms.

April – Flew to Fort Lauderdale to spend some time acclimating ourselves before cruising through the Panama Canal. Visited Colombia, Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Mexico, San Diego, Vancouver BC, and Seattle.

May – Stayed in Salem for a few days for Jeran’s graduation. Adopted Max after a trip to Albany after Church on Mother’s Day. Mid-month we camped out at the Cornelius Eagles Lodge visiting with our Winnebago friends.

June – Visited Nehalem Bay State Park for a few days. Diane got a pedicure, and I got a haircut. Ended the month visiting in a Chehalis Eagles’ parking lot with our Winnie Friends.

July – Stayed close to home.

August – Packed the motorhome preparing for September trip to Utah. Yes, it took most of the month because Diane planned a looong trip.

September – Started the RV trip with 4 of our Winnebago Friends, and their 2 RVs. It lasted the entire month. Really, it did. It actually had to because it was on our schedule and reservations had been made. Halfway thru the month our friends had to leave and head back north for home. We continued on spending a few extra days in St. George, UT. During that time, we left the RV sitting and drove to Surprise, AZ to visit big brother Jack for a couple of days.

October – Finished the Utah trip on the 10th, after spending ten days on the Oregon Coast. Gilligan turned 16 on the 5th.

November – Spent a few days for Friendsgiving in Gresham parked in front of our friend’s home.

December – Visited friends in Keizer and parked in their driveway with another RV. Also took a trip to Seaside for a few days for Diane’s Birthday.

After going through all of that I can see that we were pretty busy all year. When I started this, I wasn’t convinced that we were so busy, but Diane’s Calendar Entries don’t lie. Plus, during all that time, everyone in our entire family, and yours too, probably, had a birthday in there somewhere. We went a lot of places and saw a lot of stuff.

I’ve kinda lost my touch for getting info out regularly and I’m sorry about that. This recap will have to do for now and I’ll just make a revelation to do better in 2024. Or is it that other “R” word, resolution. Yes, that’s it! Resolution! I’m going to make one of those. I shared with Diane that it’s been at least 15 years since I didn’t honor my resolution because I didn’t fail even one time. Nope. I resolved to NOT gain 125 pounds during the new year and worked really hard to make it work. So far so good. But now I’m going to have to be more regular next year.

It’s 9:45 pm right now and past my bedtime so I’m going to wrap this up. Diane and I wish you all a Happy and Prosperous New Year. Be kind to one another and stay safe.

Ciao

Random Thoughts From An Active … on look! there’s a chicken! … Mind

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Greetings fellow space travelers. As I write, we are hurtling through the void at the un-godly speed of 155 miles per second. I know that’s true because I read it somewhere. Honest. I did.

Today, during this journey, Diane and I did some weeding in the back yard. We worked until the earth rotated enough to expose us to the unbearable heat of our nearby sun. It must have been in the hundreds of degrees by the way my body was shedding it’s water content all over the place. Most of it seemed to be going into my eyes which caused me great discomfort because of the high salt content of my excretions. The hat on my head was soaked, as were my clothes, before it was determined I was nearing my expiration date at an unexpectedly fast pace. Because of that I was encouraged to stop expending energy and seek comfort, and food, inside our living facility.

Upon entering, I was forced to disrobe, to rid my body of the soaked clothing, and then take a cleansing, antiseptic, drenching in our interior bathroom. Stated in that manner may cause one to think we also have an exterior bathroom, which we do if you count the RV. But, it’s actually within the confines of the RV wall structure, so it, too, is an interior bathroom, excluding it from the exterior category. I find this topic confusing so will move on to something more  … logical …

“What,” you may ask, “is logical to such a severely demented and damaged mind?”

“Why,” I may reply, “I find many things to be logical that others, with their twisted, warped, sense of normalness, find to be excruciatingly complex and morose.”

For example … here I am, doing what I do, which I think is just totally logical, while many of you, I’m sure, wonder what can possibly be logical to someone with such a severely demented and damaged mind. See? We all perceive things at slightly different angles which influences the way data is infused into our brains. I find that logical while you’re sitting there wondering what I’m talking about.

Actually, I sit here, many times, and wonder what it is I’m talking about. As you know, I typically give free reign to my fingers and just let the words flow out. I do not edit anything. What you see on all of these entries is a first run. I don’t edit for the same reason that I have a really difficult time deleting photos I’ve taken that have absolutely no meaningful value. Some because there is no reference about where the picture was taken, it’s blurred, or it’s one of one of many duplicates I’ve created over the years. Deleting words I’ve written, or photos I’ve taken, seems wrong to me. That’s just the way it is.

I keep small pieces of wood, that I’ve removed from larger boards, for the same reason. The small piece was sacrificed for the larger one so there’s just something inherently wrong with summarily thowing it into the burn pile. I’m getting better about that. Now I at least get rid of the sawdust, which was becoming a safety issue in my shop. It was ok until Diane stopped giving me her Avon boxes for storage. After that, there was sawdust everywhere.

That’s not true, of course. I can have all the Avon boxes I want. Every Saturday two of them arrive at our house with “things” inside that I never see. I never see it because I never look. It holds no interest for me. It’s makeup mostly. Now, if it was a pair of Avon Crocs, it might be a little different. I used to get those when the old ones wore out, but haven’t had any for 2-3 years. Now I must go barefoot, causing my feet to get dirty. The rocks hurt, too.

My eyes burn, it’s almost 11, and I have to go golfing tomorrow morning at the mind altering time of 0830. So, I must depart and get my sleep on.

Cheers.

Happy Birthday Daniel !

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Greetings Humans.

Today is Daniel’s birthday. He’s our son’s, Jeff’s, brother-in-law. He’s also Tiana’s,  Gillgan’s, Baylee’s, and Jerrie’s Uncle Daniel. He’s 22 now. That’s a lie. He’s 37. If he was 22 he would’ve been 8 when Cedric was born. I don’t think 8-year-olds are allowed to have kids. Not in Oregon, anyway.

After Dan and Jen visited briefly this morning, it was downhill for me because I went golfing with Doug. Golfing with Doug is always fun. I golfed terrible, like normal, but I beat Doug on one memorable hole. It was # 7 and I got a par. First one in the last 15 years. The rest of the holes summed up my typical game by being double par efforts. I actually hit the ball more times than that, but you can’t count more strokes than double par. For 9 holes I got a 68. That’s pretty darn good for someone fairly compentent for 18 holes. So, I play the equivalent of 18 holes whenever we hit the links. Like I told Doug, I’m getting far more for my money than he is because I get to hit the ball more often. As for the par, I have no idea what happened there. I just wasn’t myself for the 4 stokes on that hole. As a result of that stunning effort, I’ve ensured that my handicap remain at 36. Pretty sad, huh? Good thing I’m not serious about it.

After the game I returned home to an empty house because Diane took her Mom, Jean, to the eye clinic in Portland where they both had exams. I didn’t get to go so I have to keep my old glasses. In a few weeks I just know I’ll be walking down the street and my perscription will expire and I’ll go blind. Hopefully it doesn’t happen while I’m driving. That’s unlikely, of course, because I’m rarely allowed to drive by myself, and never while Diane is in the vehicle. Unless it’s the RV. Somehow that just doesn’t make sense to me because the RV can cause way more damage than the car. I told her she’s going to have to learn how to drive it just in case something happens to me. Like I forget how to drive it myself, or my glasses prescription expires. Or she’d rather have me clinging to the passenger seat in abject terror instead of her.

Good news on the RV, by the way. It must have rained about 5 inches today and not a drop got inside. I was ecstatic! My drainage ditch was a veritable river, too, keeping the water out of the garage and most of the driveway. That’s a major coup. But, the floor drain under the washer backed up again. Just a little, nothing like last time. Still, I need to get some more of that nasty drain cleaner before it gets really bad. And, I may have to pour it all over the laundry room floor first, so it will all be clean like the large area that got cleaned the last time I used it. It absolutely sparkles, as much as cement can sparkle.

This afternoon I did some running around town to do some things I needed to do. I can’t remember what they were but I came home with a burrito from a taco wagon that’s been parked along the highway for a while now. Good thing, too, because I was hungry and I knew Diane would’ve been cranky if I didn’t eat something before she got home. It was almost gone when she arrived, so I was safe.

Diane’s in shopper’s heaven now that Scappoose has it’s very own Goodwill store. That’s her favorite place to shop and where she gets all my underwear. Most of them are pretty clean, too. She spent $8 and got a whole bag of “stuff” that she had to have.

I don’t have any pictures from today’s events, but I do have some from yesterday that you haven’t seen. First is my yard trailer that I decorated for the St. Helens Parade … Diane said it won’t last until July so I just drove it down to the burn pile and decorated that. Kind of festive, don’t you think? I’m going to hate torching that until all the blossoms turn brown. And, here’s a picture of 3 or 4 of the 35 rhododenrons surrounding the house.

These aren’t bad, and I imagine most of the others were “cute” when they were little, and only 2 feet apart, but now they’re overgrown and in need of an introduction to the dogwood limbs on the burn pile. As soon as my handy dandy electric chain saw battery is chaged up, and Diane’s gone somewhere, I’m going to do some thinning. There aren’t really 35 of them – more like 15 or so.

Next is some of the many calla lillies that were apparently planted to hide things. When we moved in they weren’t doing their job very well, but have begun to prosper since we cut down all the “stuff” that hid them from any possibility of getting daylight. Now they’re doing quite well and will, one day, cover the gas meter, and the furnace exhaust (not pictured).

As I was snapping the last picture, Diane arrived so I had to hurry back in the house to finish my burrito. This is Diane arriving … just before she started quzzing me about what I had for lunch.

I was happy I had anything left of the burrito because it was on one of the many tables surrounding my computer. The big dog, or the cat, had plenty of opportunity to liberate it, but they didn’t. Ozzie didn’t have a chance. Too high up.

Diane says it’s time for me to go take a shower, so I’m off to scrub various parts of my body. She said I have to use soap this time.

Why Naps Are Necessary

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Naps. Do you take them? If so, where do you take them? Generally, I don’t take them anywhere. I just leave them where I find them. Instead of “taking” them, I “have” them. Seriously, how can you “take” a nap when you can just ‘have” them? They’re free. But, it might be important to some folks to think they are getting away with something when they “take” one. When asked, some folks may say they “took” a nap, whereas I “had” one. Those who “took” a nap undoubtedly did so in a premeditative manner. I don’t know if that’s a real word, premeditative, but it fits well in that sentence. Like, “I’m going to take a nap now.” When told that, should anyone try to stop them? It seems so … illegal when posed in that manner.

I’m getting off topic, aren’t I? Sorry.

Naps are necessary to help ensure one’s brain is properly maintained. It’s like preventative maintenance. It’s also like an emergency valve that trips you off line for a short period of time in order to preserve mental functions. This is especially noticeable when you’re watching a really boring movie and you’re on the verge of going nuts … your head flops sideways and you miss the end, which is probably OK. It’s the cheese that you were eating when you nodded off that’s the problem because you’ve drooled it onto your best blouse due to the lack of a napkin.

Napkins were specifically named to identify a tool used to ensure drool does not stain your clothes. It’s mainly for women because they only drool while napping whereas men drool any time they want, but mainly at the beach.

“Kin” is the generic term, and it’s evolved over time to encompass any manner of keeping food off your clothes. There used to be “lipkins”, “fingerkins”, “facekins”, “chinkins”, “lapkins”, as well as “napkins” until someone made the association that all of those were associated with body parts, or locations. So, a vote was called to allow everyone who used all those things to redefine them, and simply call them “napkins”, something that isn’t associated with a body part at all. It’s associated with a bodily function, as is drooliing. The results of that vote were recently brought to light with the discovery of a little known book called “The History of Napkins” which was written in 1232 BC by a fellow named Fritz Gasloppenhimer. Fritz was a hip guy, making all the rounds of the local night clubs, a favorite of the ladies, until they went to dinner. It was then his friends desserted him, and the ladies left him alone because he ate like a pig. It wasn’t so much “how” he ate as to how much food wound up on his hands and frilly frocks. Noticing this abandonment, he began carrying a gunny sack with him to absord the spillage. Not only did his cleaning bill go down to nearly nothing, his friends migrated back and the ladies begged for him to make them a gunny sack, too. He becme a hit and started marketing his invention to the entire world. Originally called the gasloppenhimerniblitzcatchinfrockenclean-akeepin but no one could say that with a straight face, so he went with his 2nd choice of sackawipinhanznmouth, which was quickly shortened to mouthsack. From there the history is lost as to how it evolved into the well known kin. The changes from kin are documented above. I know all of this to be the absolute truth because my fingers told me so. In a dream, and again just now.

Having digested all of that, and cleaned up my face with a mouthsack it’s easy to see how even the smallest insignificant things in our lives are entertwined in some way. I bet you all have stories you can tell about how some small “thing” or “event” placed you in a situation where you had the opportunity to influence someones life for the better. OK, that’s a little far out, and way off topic, but this is true, for sure. And, the topic for another entry.

Ciao