Why Naps Are Necessary

Naps. Do you take them? If so, where do you take them? Generally, I don’t take them anywhere. I just leave them where I find them. Instead of “taking” them, I “have” them. Seriously, how can you “take” a nap when you can just ‘have” them? They’re free. But, it might be important to some folks to think they are getting away with something when they “take” one. When asked, some folks may say they “took” a nap, whereas I “had” one. Those who “took” a nap undoubtedly did so in a premeditative manner. I don’t know if that’s a real word, premeditative, but it fits well in that sentence. Like, “I’m going to take a nap now.” When told that, should anyone try to stop them? It seems so … illegal when posed in that manner.

I’m getting off topic, aren’t I? Sorry.

Naps are necessary to help ensure one’s brain is properly maintained. It’s like preventative maintenance. It’s also like an emergency valve that trips you off line for a short period of time in order to preserve mental functions. This is especially noticeable when you’re watching a really boring movie and you’re on the verge of going nuts … your head flops sideways and you miss the end, which is probably OK. It’s the cheese that you were eating when you nodded off that’s the problem because you’ve drooled it onto your best blouse due to the lack of a napkin.

Napkins were specifically named to identify a tool used to ensure drool does not stain your clothes. It’s mainly for women because they only drool while napping whereas men drool any time they want, but mainly at the beach.

“Kin” is the generic term, and it’s evolved over time to encompass any manner of keeping food off your clothes. There used to be “lipkins”, “fingerkins”, “facekins”, “chinkins”, “lapkins”, as well as “napkins” until someone made the association that all of those were associated with body parts, or locations. So, a vote was called to allow everyone who used all those things to redefine them, and simply call them “napkins”, something that isn’t associated with a body part at all. It’s associated with a bodily function, as is drooliing. The results of that vote were recently brought to light with the discovery of a little known book called “The History of Napkins” which was written in 1232 BC by a fellow named Fritz Gasloppenhimer. Fritz was a hip guy, making all the rounds of the local night clubs, a favorite of the ladies, until they went to dinner. It was then his friends desserted him, and the ladies left him alone because he ate like a pig. It wasn’t so much “how” he ate as to how much food wound up on his hands and frilly frocks. Noticing this abandonment, he began carrying a gunny sack with him to absord the spillage. Not only did his cleaning bill go down to nearly nothing, his friends migrated back and the ladies begged for him to make them a gunny sack, too. He becme a hit and started marketing his invention to the entire world. Originally called the gasloppenhimerniblitzcatchinfrockenclean-akeepin but no one could say that with a straight face, so he went with his 2nd choice of sackawipinhanznmouth, which was quickly shortened to mouthsack. From there the history is lost as to how it evolved into the well known kin. The changes from kin are documented above. I know all of this to be the absolute truth because my fingers told me so. In a dream, and again just now.

Having digested all of that, and cleaned up my face with a mouthsack it’s easy to see how even the smallest insignificant things in our lives are entertwined in some way. I bet you all have stories you can tell about how some small “thing” or “event” placed you in a situation where you had the opportunity to influence someones life for the better. OK, that’s a little far out, and way off topic, but this is true, for sure. And, the topic for another entry.