Diane is seriously convinced that I’m losing my mind.

It’s difficult for me to perceive the loss of my mind because, if that’s truly happening, I would surely be the last to know. Everything seems to be perfectly normal to me. I mentioned previously that she’s been testing me for the last six months, or so, in an effort to get me to remember ‘things’ on my own. Like, I’ll ask a question about when we’re supposed to be someplace. Instead of being happy that I know we’re supposed to be someplace, she responds with, “I just told you that yesterday.”

That’s a simple example, but typical. Most of my questions are the “yes” or “no” variety that are easily answered with one of those words. That rarely happens. Sometimes the answer escalates into a heated debate about why she’s concerned that I don’t remember those things, and why I don’t understand why she can’t simply say “yes” or “no” in response to my question. My arguement is that I ask questions that have answers I don’t know right off the top of my head. I know she knows the answer, so why take time to look it up.

In truth, I generally have all the answers in my iPhone calendar and could easily look them up myself. Instead, I ask Diane because she is an easier source of that kind of information. Also, I admit that when I go on errands without a list I sometimes forget to do them all. Like the other day, I was tasked with retrieving Ozzie from his poodle-do session and get a roll of stamps. I got Oz the was sidetracked by a stunning SUV on the chevy lot. All thoughts of stamps flew right out the window when I exited the car to do a walk around.

Little things like this cause her stress which doesn’t help her shingles at all. So, I’ve decided that from now on I will conduct myself in a proper manner by doing what she asks without treating requests lightly. I will not respond to her requests, suggestions, or actions in my previously normal frivilous manner. From now on I’m going to be serious about everything. At least until she’s convinced that I’m really not losing my mind, I have just acquired balance in my new ‘normal.’

Then to, who’s to say that by me asking my questions I’m not testing her memory. Since she reads this faithfully it won’t be a secret and we may have a speedy solution to this dilemma. I’ll certainly let everyone know how it turns out as soon as I once again have access to my computer.

It’s 9:00 am here in Oregon. I just got up and wandered into the ‘Man Room’ where Diane is quietly watching GMA. For the uninitiated, that’s Good Morning America from NYC. That’s New York City. It’s snowing there, like crazy. I know that’s true because Sam Champion showed me pictures.

Here in NW Oregon? The sun is shining, it’s going to be 60 degrees, or so, and I’m going to  mow the lawn this afternoon. I can share that because I called Ruth, in Connecticut, and already told her all of this. She’s OK, BTW. Although she’s officially retired, she’s still a top notch accounting type of person who is in high demand for her son-in-law’s accounting firm where she works for minimum wage every tax season. I know for sure everything I just shared is true except for the minimum wage remark. She may not be making that much. But, that’s OK. It keeps her busy and out of the taverns.

Now I’m going to go mow the yard.

It’s  been a few days since I’ve been allowed to sit down at my computer in order to spew a little of my mind all over the place, and a lot has happened. Nothing earth shattering, or anything like that, just a lot of “stuff.”

First, to carry on with my last entry, Diane has a new computer. She wasn’t too sure about getting it but, as luck would have it, when we stopped to look at it, at Best Buy, a Microsoft representative was standing right there. He took Diane through a step by step process, with a new Windows 8 touch screen desktop all in one, showing her how easy it is to use. Once he was done, the deal was made. She likes it a lot, but won’t clean off her computer desk so I can install it. Right now it’s sitting on the dining room table where she can ‘play’ with it when the mood strikes, but she’s still using her old, compromised, Dell. The new one is a Samsung and it’s like a 21″ iPad. What fun. When she lets me install it, I’m taking the old one to the basement so I can reinstall the operating system and see what happens.

Last Friday my friend, Doug, called to say his brother, Junior, said it wasn’t going to rain Saturday morning so we needed to go golfing. I asked Diane what her weather report told her and she said it was 90% chance of rain. But, Junior is hardly ever wrong, so I agreed to the date. Doug also called to tell me there was an American Legion meeting in the evening, too. Deep down I knew that, but I always forget. It’s always on the first Friday each month. I haven’t been to a meeting in about a year or so.

So, I dug up my American Legion hat and went to the meeting and it was a good thing, too, because had I not shown up they wouldn’t have had a quorum. In addition to that, I’m now the next Sgt. At Arms for the club. Nice. Just what I was looking for. Now I’ll have to find out what’s expected of me in that job just when I thought I’d never have to learn anything new again. Dang!

At the American Legion meeting, Jerry, Doug’s other brother, said the VFW is meeting next Thursday. That’s another club I belong to that I haven’t been to in a long time. Now I’m on the hook to go. One of our members, Frank, is a pre-Pearl Harbor Navy veteran who’s home is a museum dedicated to Navy memorabilia. It’s pretty amazing and contains more variety than you’ll ever find in a real musem. With Frank, it’s just a labor of love. I’ve been known to donate items for him to display.

Part of yesterday, or may last Thursday, was spent mail merging and printing a bunch of letters for the Lions Club which will go to St. Helens businesses requesting a donation for flags that we display in front of their businesses every holiday throughout the year. The flags are about 2’x4′, on a 6′ pole, and are placed at 0700 and removed at 1600 on those days. It’s an ‘all hands’ evolution to get them out of storage, put them up, take them down, and return them to storage. It’s well managed by Bert, the flag guy. I recently learned that I’m the assistant flag guy and I sense Bert has designs on actually making me responsible for the entire shindig. I know that because he’s the one who tasked me with making up all those letters for the businesses. Bert is a retired High School teacher. He was also Daniel’s, Jennie’s husband’s, football coach so he knows how to delegate. Tomorrow night is the Lions meeting so I’ll be able to show him what I’ve done. I’m so proud.

Today we went to church so I could deliver the March newsletter, which I create each month. I put it all together yesterday and printed it. After delivering the newsletters we stayed for the service, which we would have done anyway. It’s always good to stay because the coffee hour is good. All the time. Those Lutheran Church Ladies really know how to cook stuff.

After church I climbed in the back seat of the car and Diane took off driving. Her Mom, Jean, was in the front seat, where I normally sit, when she isn’t with us. I always sit in back when we’re all together because they talk all the time and it bothers me when Diane turns around to make eye contact with someone in the back seat when she’s driving. I can’t deny it’s exciting, but it’s easier on her neck if all the talkers are in the front. I just nap and read stuff.

Now we’re home and it’s time to stop.

Today we played Quelf, and Sour Apples with some of our children and children’s children. Cedric as missing because he had to attend wrestling practice. The rest of us had a marvelous time while he was sweating profusely. I’m assuming he’s sweating, but really doubt if it’s profusely because he only has 5% body fat. Not much extra to sweat off.

The hot tub is filling as I “speak”. This is a Christmas Promise I made for Diane. It’s been sitting empty for a few months and she wants it resurrected to help soak out her joint aches. So, that’s what I’m doing. Perhaps it will help with mine, also. I doubt the latter, however, because all my aches and pains are terminal. Last time I checked, the water temperature was all the way up to 45 degrees. Diane didn’t think it was yet time for her to don a bikini and go soak. It should be up to 104 in a few hours.

Jeran got a remote control plane for Christmas but it doesn’t work. The silly thing won’t turn on. It’s a slow mover and has a camera that will take snap shots, or movies that you can download to your computer. Very interesting gift. After fiddling with it for a while, I totally dismantled it ,to ensure there were no loose wires. Then I remantled it, hoping for the “magic” fix, but it still wouldn’t work. I did, however, discover the problem, which could nave been fixed with out the dismantle part, and fixed it with a small piece of tinfoil. Now it works. I’m so proud and just giddy with happiness. I love fixing things. Especially for the kidlets.

Now it’s 2121 and I must slumber until the dogs decide to wake me in the morning. Either that, or my bladder makes itself known in the night and demands attention that would, if ignored, result in a situation that might, perhaps, result in the need for a new mattress. Diane probably wouldn’t care because she’s been wanting a new bed for the last 2 years.

So, my next entry may be about our trip to Mattress World. Now I’m going to go drink a bunch of water.

Although our journey was long and tiring, it was well worth it. Surprising Jack and Wynette was worth every second. However, arriving home safely is always the best part of a trip for us. It’s as if all journeys are taken for just that reason … going home.

Once we get there, reviewing the trip seems like it was just a dream. The tangible evidence of our trips are the trip logs, blog entries, and photos. Most of those items are pretty boring, but they are still evidence. At least the photos are. The trip logs and blogs are subject to embleshment, something I cannot do with photos with any degree of confidence.

The trip from Nampa to home was relatively uneventful. We got up early which was directly related to the fact that we went to bed early after visiting with Daniel, Tyler, Bob, Steffani, Maryssa, and Cass. The highlight was Maryssa singing a very long song in Spanish. Impressive, and well done. She even explained to me what it all meant. A sad song. She told me the name, but I can’t pronounce it because I can’t wrap my tongue around Spanish words. I’ve tried and have determined that I’m too old to train my tongue to do anything new. As it is, performing basic operations required for sustenance works OK, but chewing gum, if my mind wanders a little, results in a bloody gash that hurts a great deal. The latter aspect isn’t a complaint, it’s just the way it is. I’ve been biting my tongue on a regular basis since 1987 when a Navy dentist equilibrated all my teeth.

Equilibration is a process where the dentist makes an attempt to move ones lower jaw back as far as possible by randomly grinding teeth so they mesh in such a manner that one has to conciously move their jaw back in order to chew. The random grinding process is accompanied with a lot of banging the teeth together onto carbon paper, which doesn’t taste too bad. Once all the banging is done the patient is blessed with a record breaking migraine and another appointment for the next day to do it all again. This is repeated as long as the dentist sees a need to push the jaw back. Before he started my teeth were actually not lined up too badly. Now I have an enormous overbite which is the reason I don’t smile very often. This process also provided a prime opportunity for my tongue to wander into the chewing process because before the equilibration it had timing down pat for the old position. Then the mechanics of chewing were changed forever and the tongue refused to upgrade. This resulted in the need to chew a great deal more slowly which has, actually, improved my health because my bites are much smaller now so I don’t eat as much food.

The sun was shining brightly as we departed Nampa and stayed that way all the way to Pendleton where it started raining. That was OK because by that time all the really scary bad roads were behind us. On the way down the hill to Pendleton we only encountered one semi that was tipped over by the high winds. I didn’t mention those, did I? From Namp to Pendleton the winds were blowing 60 mph most of the time, with gust far higher. I said we only saw one flipped semi because the gal who filled out tank at the bottom said there were three of them that morning. Maybe the other two were on the uphil side of the freeway.

I drove from Pendleton to lunch in The Dalles. We stopped at a Sears store and bought some vacuum cleaner bags then walked around the parking lot to a Burger King. We both had Whopper Jr’s. They contain all the sustenance we needed at that moment in time. Then, Diane drove the rest of the way home.

Diane is a great driver and got us home safely, just like she always does.

The End

This isn’t going to be anything like you expected because it’s all about a personal journey to honor a brother and his wife. It goes back a few years and involves a standing tradition for our family. Simply put, we gather for all 70th birthdays and 50th anniversaries. You may have surmised, at this point, that we’re all old. That’s true. I will be the last to observe either of those milestones.

This time, it’s for Jack & Wynette. Yesterday was their 50th Wedding Anniversary so big brother, Jim, and I had to attend. The problem was, Jack and Wynette were in Arizona. How to overcome that obstacle proved to be a lot simpler than one would have thought. All it took was a wife who was willing to go anywhere at the drop of a hat which this trip turned out to be.

Before I get too involved with the details I must back up a little to provide a bit of history …

Last Sunday, the 9th, Diane and I were talking, something we rarely do, trying to remember when Jack & Wy’s anniversary was. It wasn’t written down anywhere we looked. Diane thought it was on the 10th, two days before Jack’s birthday. Regarding that, Jack’s 74th birthday was on 12.12.12. So, that’s a golden birthday.

Since there wasn’t a lot of confidence that the 10th was correct for the anniversary, I called Jim, who didn’t have a clue. Neither did Donna. Then I called the other Jack, Wynette’s brother, who said, “I think it’s the 15th.” He said it with confidence, but the “I think” imbedded in the statement added a bit of uncertainty so I thought I’d call Greg, Jack & Wy’s son. It’s a Scappoose phone number so I dialed it up. Brother Jack answered, throwing me off a bit, but I recovered and the conversation went something like this …

“Uh, hi. Are you Greg?”

“No, I’m Greg’s father.”

“Uh, can you pretend you’re Greg for a minute?”

“Yes I can.”

“Uh, will you pretend you’re Greg for a minute?”

“Yes I will. We were married on December 15th, 1962. You should know. You were there.”

He was right, of course. I was there. I was the best man. You’d think I’d remember, but it was, after all, 50 years ago. Just saying …

But, I got the information from Jack so my goal was accomplished. The fact that it was the 15th, not the 10th, was the determining factor for us deciding to jump in the car and make the trip. Jim was all for it. So, Diane jumped on the internet and started checking for places to stay along the way. The plan was to head east to Nampa, pick up Jim, then head south to Surprise, AZ.

While Diane was doing that, I looked around on Facebook and found Brian, J & W’s grandson who lives near Surprise. Not having an email address, or a phone number for him, I sent him a message via Facebook asking him to call me. He actually did that which surprised and pleased me a great deal. The objective was to learn if any plans were in place to celebrate J&W’s Golden Event. He told me it was on Sunday the 16th at 1300. That was great, and Brian expressed his excitement that Jim and I would be there.

Diane got us rooms, for three adults, at Ely, Nevada, Nellis AFB (near Las Vegas), and Surprise, Arizona, about 6 miles from Happy Trails where J&W are staying.

We planned to leave St. Helens at 0800 and actually got out of town around 1100. Right on time.

The trip to Nampa was uneventful except for the fact the rain coming down upon departure quit around Troutdale and we had dry roads the entire way. Very nice. We arrived at Jim’s and Donna’s around 1900. Donna had dinner waiting for us for which we were grateful … it was wonderful minestrone soup and cornbread. Excellent!

We visited a while then went to bed. I didn’t get up until 0830, or so. I ate a banana and Diane had a yogurt then we were on our way. I have no idea what time we left, and I have no idea what Jim ate, if anything. We did have coffee at the house before leaving, too.

The goal was to reach Ely, NV before it got dark. It was about a zillion miles away and we had to make it in less than 8 hours. We thought it was doable, and it turned out to be true. Diane drove most of the way then I drove the last 200 miles, and gave up control to Diane so I could navigate the last couple of miles. We had a room with two queen beds. That was one bed each for Diane and me. Jim had to sleep on the floor, but he didn’t mind.

After getting checked in, we took the night manager’s suggestion to eat at the Silver State Cafe. It was an excellent meal and we went back to the room well nourished. We all had a good night’s sleep and woke up refreshed. Jim didn’t really sleep on the floor, but he wanted to. He had a bed all to himself. Because of that, he got to drive the first leg. He had a really good time because after getting on the freeway, it started snowing. A lot. But it didn’t stick to the road. Thankfully, we were heading downhill so we drove out of the snow before Jim got too scared about driving in the snow.

The next goal was Nellis AFB just a bit north of Las Vegas. Turns out we left Ely far too early and arrived at the base at 1230. The time zone changes 2-3 times on Highway 93 during that trip, something we hadn’t considered. Because of the early arrival, we had to kill 3 hours before we could check in. So, we went to the Base Exchange so Jim could see what the “new” Air Force exchange looks like. It’s a lot like going to a Nordstrom’s that’s inside a mall, food court and all. Very high end store. The advantage to shopping on the base vs. shopping at local stores is the absence of the state tax.

We finally got checked in at 1500 and took a little break, watched a little TV, checked email, etcetera. The room had two double beds. For dinner Jim and I cooked.  We went to the lobby and bought three chicken pot pies and three Klondike bars for $6. Cheapest dinner for three, ever!

After a good night’s sleep, we departed, heading south on Highway 93. That took us across the Pat Tillman Bridge that spans the Colorado River, just downstream of the Hoover Dam. We stopped short of the bridge, however, so we could take Jim out on the bridge for a view of the Hoover Dam that he’s never seen before. To get to the bridge required a fairly long climb so we could trek out to the middle. Diane stayed in the car which was a smart move. The wind was blowing at least 90 mph, making it difficult to walk. But, we did it, and I got some got pictures of the dam. Jim seemed to enjoy it but didn’t say much because he was out of breath.

On the bridge we saw cars driving over the dam, so we decided to continue on down that way and just get back on the highway on the other side. Turns out, that was a trap because the road is closed about a mile past the dam. So, we had to turn around and retrace our steps to Highway 93.

We arrived in Surprise Friday afternoon at some unremembered time of day, but late enough to check into our room without having to wait for checkin. The room has a king bed, and a small sofa bed with pokey springs and a very thin mattress. Jim, being the trouper he is, said the sofa was fine, but it really wasn’t, so Diane bought a fluffy mattress cover at Goodwill after a wonderful dinner at the Portofino Ristorante, just down the street. Very authentic Italian food.

The next day I called Brian to see if we could find out when and where J&W might be so we could surprise them in Surprise. He said they were going to be at his house in about an hour or so. So, we jumped in the car and headed to his and Annie’s house in Litchefield Park, about 8 miles south of the hotel.

We found the house with no problem and parked  around the corner from the house. Brian came out to greet us, and we walked back to his driveway and were just about to enter the garage when J&W turned the corner. So, we just stood there and waited for them to park. Needless to say, they were very surprised to see us standing there. Who’d thought, right? It was very gratifying for all of us. Mission accomplished.

Later in the afternoon we had dinner at the Golden Corral where we met up with Pat, Caroline, Dennis, Mary, Jack, and Wynette. It was a gala reunion of Cate Brothers and Cate cousins. Pat and Caroline live in Happy Trails where J&W are staying and they just happened to have a livable unit that they are fixing up, and offered it to us for the duration of our stay. But, the room we have is non-refundable since the reservation was through Hotels.com, so we declined. Jim, however, thought it would be excellent. So, Pat & Caroline followed us back to the hotel so Jim could pack up his things, then took him back with them. They even gave Jim a golf cart to buzz around in. He’s currently in heaven, having a great time.

This morning Diane and I got up early so we could join everyone for church at Happy Trails. It was their Cantata, and it was absolutely wonderful. The church was full, with hundreds of people. After Church we took Jim and fiddled around a little before heading south to Brian’s for the party. The party was wonderful. We got to meet all of Brian’s family that includes Steve (Step Dad), Keithena (Mom), Brent, Bronte, Brooke, Brene, Breezy, Breven, and Bridgett. The last six are his sisters. A very good looking group of kids, including Brian, who range from 9 to 28 years old. Eight of them.

Keithena and Steve

Wynette . Brian . Jack

Keithena . Brent (Ben)

Bronte . Brooke . Brene . Breezy . Breven . Bridgett

We all had a wonderful time visiting and celebrating J&W’s 50th. It will be remembered.

The Happy Couple

Annie (Brian’s significant) . Diane . Brian . Homeless Guy

Jim . Jack . Brian . Homeless Guy

Jim enjoying the football

Super Annie

The Lair – Dustin . Brian . Jim . Brian . Jim . Diane . Shane . Steve

Keithy in a lucid moment

Jim wasn’t allowed to eat at the adult table

That’s it for now. My next entry will be a cry for help when we get stuck in the blizzard that’s currently b lowing across northern Nevada  We’re going anyway.