Golfing, and other Stuff

Posted on August 1, 2016 by Jerrie Cate

It was a good day on the golf course. None of us died. I beat the Peal brothers handily which reaffirms my previous statements about golfing more makes you better. This just happened to be my day. Doug came in with a cold and then we have Junior who has two fake knees and a bad back that requires a couple of back braces to make playing tolerable. We had a good time.

Getting to the golf course, however, was a bit dicey because the brakes on my old truck decided it was time to retire. Thankfully, there was no one at the intersection of Barr Ave and Sykes Road when I made this discovery or there would have been a wreck. But, I made it to the course on time by driving very carefully the rest of the way. I can stop it if the truck is rolling slowly. Made it home OK, too. Since it has a load of dirt in the back, I need to find some brake fluid so I won’t run through the lower fence in the back yard when I go there.

… pause …

Couldn’t find any brake fluid in the garage, but I have lots of power steering fluid so used some of that. Seems to work just fine. Does anyone know if that’s a bad idea?

Only a day left before I go under the knife for Mohs surgery on Wednesday morning. Dr. Alan is going to peel all the skin off my right ear, remove all the basal cell carcinoma things then put it all back together. I told the young lady who called for the pre-op stuff that I was OK with and Ear-ectomy if necessary but she said that wouldn’t be necessary and that when Dr. Alan is done it will still look like an ear. She didn’t say what kind of ear, and I didn’t ask, so I planning to be surprised when it’s all done. I’ll take a picture to share.

Right now I’m going to just rest a bit and wait for Diane to feed me.

Ciao.

Best Pork Chops and Gravy Ever

Posted on July 31, 2016 by Jerrie Cate

For those of you who use computers but don’t particularly care what day it is, like most retired people I know, today is the last day of July for this year. That would be 7/31/2016; 07312016; July 31st, 2016; or 31 July, 2016, depending on your preference for denoting dates and time.

Me? Although today is July 31st, it’s also Sunday which is really all I need to know. So, if anyone asks me what the date is, I just say, “It’s Sunday”. My brother, Jack, would say “It’s July”. He told me that, so I know it’s true.

Diane made a terrific meal after church today. She pan-fried pork chops, made mashed potatoes, cooked fresh beets (which I washed), stirred up some outstanding gravy, and added a salad with a stunning variety of salad dressings. We all oohed and aahed about the savory aroma and taste of everything. It was all going great until I exclaimed, without thinking, that everything tasted way better than the last TV dinner I had that had pork chops in it. Although it was true, it was obviously the worst possible thing I could have said.

So, since I know Diane reads this stuff, I must make amends and relate that the meal she prepared was absolutely one of the best she’s cooked us in the last 38 or 40 years. That’s the truth even though I really don’t have a clue about what I ate that far back, but the number of years chosen far exceeds the extent of my memory of what food I ingested at any given time. Maybe I should have just said that … “I have no memory of eating a better meal than that one.” It’s a true statement.

Except for any time she makes sloppy joes. Everyone loves that stuff. But that’s a one-dimensional meal whereas today’s had many more colors. That’s important, I’m told.

Diane’s Mom, Jean, joined us for that luscious lunch. After dinner we ate popcorn, a little popcorn, some watermelon, and something else I can’t remember. That was all done while watching “Rango” from start to stop. I thought I’d seen it previously but apparently that was not true. I have no memory of watching it so really enjoyed the surprise. Jewel saw it previously but was not a spoiler by telling us what happened next.

It’s 9 pm and getting dark so it must almost be time for bed. I need to get up early tomorrow for another rousing round of golf with the Peal boys. Doug and I are determined to kick Junior’s ass. Oops. Sorry. I forgot that I can’t say “ass” here so please ignore that. He’s convinced us that he’s always on his last leg as we progress around the course, then always manages to beat us somehow. Well, we’ll just have to do something about it, won’t we.

See you tomorrow.

Cedric’s a Sailor, County Fair, Camping, and Golf

Posted on July 25, 2016 by Jerrie Cate

Well, we made it safely back from our latest camping trip and I have a few minutes available to catch up on all our activities. I would have done a daily ‘thing’ but we (AT&T) did not have cell service and there was no internet. We didn’t have satellite TV, either. We really roughed it this time. Those who use Verizon and Sprint were still able to communicate which made me briefly consider switching carriers. Then Diane drove toward Vernonia, to the Forest Ranger Station, to call her Mom, Jean. During that process one of the Rangers came out and told her if she had Verizon she was out of luck because there was no service. But, AT&T worked. So, we’ll be sticking with AT&T for a while.

Before all the camping fun began we bid farewell to Cedric on the 19th as he began his trip to Navy boot camp at Great Lakes Recruit Training Center, just north of Chicago. He is a third generation Sailor in our family. Graduation is September 17th, I think, and there are plans in the works to attend the ceremony. I’m not sure, yet, if Diane and I will attend because Cedric is only allowed 4 guests. I think we plan to leave that special event for the immediate family because Diane and I have non-refundable plane tickets to Connecticut on September 20th. Two airplane rides that close together isn’t financially feasible, so we’ll rely on family photos and participate vicariously through them. We’ll see him when he comes home on leave.

Duly sworn in and officially a member of the Navy. Proud Mom, Dad, and Sister.

After wishing Cedric a safe journey, we all went home. That afternoon we went to the movie and watched “The Secret Life of Pets” at the Columbia Theater in St. Helens with Bob, Steff, and Jewel. Then we had dinner at Dockside. All of us were stuffed to the gills. By the time we got home it was time for bed.

The first day of the Columbia County Fair weekend was Wednesday, the 20th. That’s the day old people get in for free so we almost always go. There were fairs in past years where we helped and earned badges for daily entrance, but those days are behind us now. We took Gilligan, Baylee, and Jerrie with us, using ride wrist bands and entry tickets that Diane bought ahead of time. She also got wrist bands for Lydia and Jeran so it worked well that the 3 little ones were chaperoned by the two larger ones. It as pretty amazing that the children chose to go see all the animals before giving in to the allure of the carnival rides. Toward the end of the day, Jeff & Heather arrived and took charge of G, B, and J then we went plant shopping. Everyone had a great time. Even the old people.

Gilligan, Jerrie, and Baylee on the way in

Lydia, Jerrie, Gilligan, and Baylee confront a T-Rex.

Lydia conquers the wall … multiple times.

Jewel and Diane with their trusty dogs.

Bob finally has Steff where he wants her.

On Thursday, the 21st, we finalized our preparations for our Camping trip at Big Eddy. For those of you not familiar with the area, Big Eddy is a county park situated on the Nehalem River that flows through Vernonia. The river begins it’s journey on the east side of the Coast Range then loops around the north end of the range near the mouth of the Columbia River. Then it winds it’s way SW, finishing it’s 119 mile journey at Nehalem Bay, which is near Nehalem, OR. The bay feeds into the Pacific Ocean.

Diane and I fiddled around long enough to be the last ones out of the chute, consequently arriving last, which was OK. We arrived without incident, got parked and connected with lots of help from those who were already there. Then we started relaxing right away. That means we huddled around the camp fire all day and well into the evening, eating when food was ready, then going to bed when it was pitch black outside. Since the park is booked exclusively for the St. Helens Grace Baptist Church kids could run free, which they did, with no fear of danger, unless they fell down, which some did. It was chilly for the first couple of days so most of the time was spent around a fire, sharing stories and eating.

Here’s the night fire …

… and the day fire …

On Saturday the 23rd Bob, Steff, Jennifer, Diane, and I made the 7 mile trip to Vernonia to see what the Vernonia Saturday Market was about. Since nothing else was going on in town, there were only 4 booths open but they all had beautiful quality products. It was good to visit the town. The most interesting part of the visit was learning about David’s story. David is the first person we encountered in a little knickknacks shop on a corner. He was extremely nice, and friendly, and pointed us to his boss’s store a couple blocks up the street. At that store Donna, the owner, told the girls about David and what a remarkable life he had survived. He has Aspergers Syndrome and spent the first 55 years of his life hidden away from contact with anyone but his Mom or Dad. They didn’t know how to deal with him so tucked him away when folks visited. He never went to the doctor, dentist, or school. When his Dad died 7 years ago, his sister took him in and spent the next 5 years cleaning him up and exposing him to social situations until he was comfortable leaving his home. Donna met David when he and his sister visited her store and was impressed with David’s willingness to help. This led to a friendship that caused Donna to purchase another store which David manages. It’s his store. He’s 62 now and doing very well considering how much he missed during those 55 years of isolation. His store is on the corner of Adams Ave. and Bridge Street. Stop in and say HI, then go to Donna’s store and thank her for her incredible benevolent spirit.

After attending outdoor Sunday service, everyone packed up to go home. Bob & Steff were heading to Pendleton where they stayed at the Wild Horse Casino. On the way they were trapped in huge traffic jam caused by accident. It took them many hours longer than anticipated to reach their destination, but they eventually made it. We made it home without incident since we didn’t have to travel any of the freeways. The dogs were extremely happy to see us and Ziva let us know that it was a dirty trick to leave her behind when we know how much she enjoys camping. So, she will be going with us on all future trips.

This morning I went golfing with Doug and JP. It was a beautiful morning and we all did really well. I had three pars, a new personal best for me. Doug chipped in from 60 feet for a birdie which was fun to watch. It was a good day. When we finished we went to lunch, like we always do. I called Diane to see if she would like to join us, but she declined because she thought we were going to Burgerville, our normal choice. But, this time we went to the Village Inn where I had a very good Chicken Fried Steak, hash browns, and eggs. It was very good and I ate it all. Diane was upset about not going when she found out we didn’t go to Burgerville. It was very good and she missed out.

On the way home I stopped at O’Reilly’s for new spark plug wires for the truck because one wire burned out against the exhaust manifold making the truck sound a lot like a John Deere tractor. I also filled the truck with gas and got a container of gas for the lawn mower thinking I’d get something done outside. But, when Diane and Jewel left to go play around in thrift stores, I was told “No working outside because it’s 90 degrees!” I can only assume the she wasn’t in the mood to go looking for me after dying from heat exhaustion, and laying in the hot sun for hours. That probably wouldn’t be any fun at all, so I’m just staying inside, as directed.

That’s it. Except for this hydrangea that grows by our home.

We haven’t figured out what causes it to come out in multiple colors like this, but it’s kinda neat.

Good News For Golfers

Posted on July 14, 2016 by Jerrie Cate

I have it on good authority that all golfers in the world, or at least in the USA, are going to realize a benefit based on the fiasco of the FBI releasing Hillary of blame for lying to Congress, and her blatant refusal to use an appropriate, secure, government controlled, email server. The FBI decision, I believe, was that she did all those things without meaning to so cannot be blamed. No intent to cause harm, so she walks. Then the AG steps up and abides by the FBI ruling sidestepping her requirement to uphold the law herself. Kinda makes those of us who know that, because we reside lower on the tree of forgiveness, we would be held fully accountable and probably sent to jail. Obviously two sets of rules are in play here.

Now back to golf …

There will no longer be a penalty stoke for hitting a ball into the water or out of bounds. The USGA , the R&A, the PGA, after a private meeting with Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch, on a plane somewhere, have recommended that your opponent must prove that you intended to hit the ball into these hazards in order for there to be a penalty.

Carelessness or ignorance is not intent.

No intent-no penalty stroke.

My good friend, Jimmie O’, who keeps a watchful eye on all things golf, relayed this bit of info to me. Sounds like a boon, to me. I’m sure Hillary is thinking the same. No, probably not. I think she’s more attuned to getting her way and would find being at fault, for any infraction, a travesty of justice.

Jess, Our Girls, Calendars, Cookies, and a Mystery

Posted on July 10, 2016 by Jerrie Cate

It’s a cold, dark and dreary Sunday morning, fitting for the day after a solemn farewell to Jess. She was only 38 years old when she died in an automobile accident last month. This event, and the subsequent memorial service is significant because Jess is Ceiarra’s, Enola’s, and Chloe’s Mom. Three great kids caught up in the turmoil of custody battles over the past few years and then losing their Mom before the dust settled.

Another significant aspect is that Ceiarra and Lydia are probably the best friends ever in the world of how best friends treat each other. It’s an amazing bond they have and one, I’m sure, that helped them both absorb the shock of this loss with minimal damage. Jess will be missed, but she will always be loved by those who were dear to her, and she will never be forgotten by anyone who ever had the privilege of knowing her.

Here’s our girls – Lydia and Ceiarra.

Tomorrow’s Monday and I have Physical Therapy on Tuesday. That means I only have one day to do all the exercises I missed since last Thursday. Dang.

Whitney, our neighbor, paid us a visit earlier this evening wanting to borrow oatmeal. That’s what she said. Really, I think, she came over to make the dogs bark. I’m sure I’m wrong about that, however, because they bark at anyone who knocks on the door … or drives by. Or simply walks by … on a street 1/4 mile away. They are very alert. Anyway, Whitney said she’d bring us cookies if she could borrow some oatmeal. Of course we gave her all we had. In about 10 minutes she was back with a plate of hot cookies and the remainder of the oatmeal. I swear it was a trick because I’ve never seen anyone make cookies that fast. I ate two of them right away. Good job, Whitney.

Diane and I share our calendars and it’s become a source of entertainment for me. The only entry for tomorrow is “Remember chicken – freezer to garbage”. So, she puts garbage in the freezer until garbage day. Interesting. I wonder how much of that I’ve eaten in the past while left alone long enough that I had to cook something to eat. Or starve. Maybe I should start reading the labels on that stuff.

Another thing I see, at least once a month, is “Jerrie cleans furnace air filters”. It’s funny because it’s stated like I actually do that. I thought all I had to do was reset the little timer thing that lets us know when to do it. I didn’t know it was an actual job. No doubt I’ll be hearing more about that in a little while.

Next Friday is Jerrie Ann Diane’s 5th birthday. My how time flies. She’s getting to be quite a little personality. Since she has Gilligan and Baylee to help with that, I wouldn’t expect anything less.

And, don’t forget that Gracie’s birthday is coming up next month and, according to Jim, she’s probably expecting a party. I don’t have a photo or I’d add one here.

On a parting note, I must share a pretty special thing that happened this morning. As previously reported, Jewel is residing with us. This morning she came out of her room holding a penny in the palm of her hand and asked us if we had lost it. She found it laying on the rug in her room as soon as she got up. But, we don’t go in her room, and that rug had been vacuumed more than once in the past week. What’s interesting is it was a 1913 penny. Both of our Mom’s were born in 1913 and they graduated from High School together in Nebraska. Jewel and I were both born in 1944 and graduated from High School together in Scappoose. Neither of our Mom’s were aware that they lived only a few miles apart for many years until my brother, Jack, figured out the relationship between them. What a surprise. So, the question is, how did the 1913 penny wind up on Jewel’s bedroom floor? And, what does it mean?

I leave you to ponder that as I prepare myself for bed.

G’nite.

Aunti Jo is 95, My Friends Larry & Larry, Hillary, and Weed Whacker Back

Posted on July 7, 2016 by Jerrie Cate

I went to coffee today, in the old truck, and had a nice visit with my friend Larry and my other friend Larry. I arrived early and was delighted to find Jack, my brother Jack’s brother-in-law. He was sitting with Jerry H. who wanted to know what Jewel and her husband did with the 1957 Corvette they used to have. I knew the answer but gave him Jewel’s phone number instead so he could ask her. Just so you know, she traded it in on a VW bug. I think.

I, Larry, and Larry solved many of the world’s problems between sips of coffee from cups that never ran dry. One of the big topics was Hillary and how she got away with lying to Congress and making supremely bad decisions as USSOS (United States Secretary of State). Our friend, James, said,

“While the FBI had found that Mrs. Clinton and her aides had been “extremely careless” in their handling of classified material, there was no clear evidence that anyone intentionally mishandled information, obstructed justice or appeared to be disloyal to the U.S. in the process.”

Makes me wonder how many people are in prison for doing exactly the same thing. The difference, of course, is those in prison are not privileged members of our society and don’t have the means to fight for their own cause.

The unwillingness of the FBI Director, James Comey, and our esteemed Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, to follow through with some sort of punishment for Hillary’s actions is proof that our laws are enforced using double standards that favor certain people.

Enough. Sorry.

Jewel has been very busy weed whacking and raking the remains off all the berms around the house. Today after my physical therapy session I joined the effort by doing some weed whacking of my own. I did so much weed whacking, for so long, that I literally burned up my plug-in whacker and thereby causing an end to my efforts for the day. I know it was burned up because it was smoking. It’s probably still under warranty but I have no idea where the receipt is. Thankfully we have one of the WORX 56V units that provides enough power to weed whack for more than enough time to cause damage.

As a result of our efforts, both Jewel and I have Weed Whacker Back, a terrible affliction that only certain kinds of wine and cheese can resolve. Since I don’t drink wine, I’m stuck with just cheese so my WWB won’t fade nearly as fast as Jewel’s.

While working on our WWBs Diane was busy doing laundry and cleaning the entire house with her trusty Shark Vacuum Cleaner so she wound up with a severe case of HC&LB (House Cleaning & Laundry Back). Still, she whipped up a tasty meal of left over chicken and beans, and added mashed potatoes, salad, and cream corn. It was pretty awesome. I also got a piece of Aunt Jo’s birthday cake that was served at the party honoring her 95th year on earth. Pretty amazing and she’s still going strong.

Now I must make my way to the living room where the TV is on and see if I can convince the owner of the remote to switch to something besides HGTV for a little while.

Cheers.

Hope The 4th Was With You, and Toilets

Posted on July 5, 2016 by Jerrie Cate

It is my sincere hope that all of you who celebrate the 4th of July with fireworks wound up with the correct number of fingers, toes, eyes, and ears this morning. There are many who dwell among us whose common sense, when lighting explosive things, fails them due to the influence of alcohol or other drugs of choice. When they wake up missing digits they will lament their decisions, just like all of those who served as bad examples before them. It’s amazing, don’t you think? History repeating itself over and over. I believe the prime reason for this kind of behavior is nature’s way of improving the gene pool.

We had a festive group at our house for a BBQ yesterday. The Walters Clan, The Cate clan, and new family member Jewel attended as did Diane’s Mom, Jean, who, if you remember, broke her wrist a little over a week ago. The brace provided by the orthodontist she visited helped a lot but we suspect her upcoming visit to an orthopedist will provide her with better broken bone management. She’s been told it may never heal, but what do orthodontists know. Teeth. That’s what they know. Not bones.

After all the eating was done we older members of society sat back and listened as the din of conversation subsided a little with each person who left. When all those who wear younger clothes were gone there was a brief sense of loss before the quiet seeped in. Then one of the neighbors set of a stick of dynamite that set off a bunch of car alarms.

Regarding dynamite. It’s apparently legal in Oregon. Only fireworks that leave the ground are illegal. So, of course, the majority of those exploding around us were airborne. Pretty, but totally illegal. Making it more fun is the uncut hay-field just below us. Thankfully, nothing caught on fire so I guess you could call it a successful 4th celebration.

Here’s an example of what transpired off to the south of our back porch.

Ziva, our black dog who enjoys lounging in bushes while outside, was very vocal about all the noise. Eventually she got used to it and only complained about the really loud ones that she could see and hear at the same time. She had a really good time, as did we.

This morning I visited my new physical therapist, Bret, who has already made my pain less. But, the day is not done.

My mission for today is to install our new tall toilet in my bathroom for Diane. She has trouble with short toilets. This will probably be an all day affair. I know because I’ve done it before and it always takes all day. For normal people it’s about a 30 minute job. Not me. I make it last because it’ so much fun. Last night I asked Diane if I should take the new toilet out of the box and put it in the bedroom so she could practice sitting on it, but she declined. I think she was afraid she might trip over it in the middle of the night while on her way to the short toilet. I would like to put the short toilet in the yard so we can use it for a Redneck BBQ and beer cooler combo … like this …

She’s not a fan. She won’t even consider making a planter out of it, like this …

Now, tell me. Who wouldn’t want something like that sitting on your front porch? I find it very welcoming and pleasant. But, no, we’ll just have to find someone in need of a short toilet and pass it along.

That’s about it for today.

Have a safe 5th as you finish off all those fireworks left over from yesterday.

The Dead Golfer’s Agreement

Posted on June 23, 2016 by Jerrie Cate

So, I went golfing a couple of days ago and didn’t do too badly. I even counted most of my strokes for a change, unlike Doug who counts absolutely everything he swings at. Still can’t beat him.

Around the fifth hole we discussed some of the final aspects of our Dead Golfer Agreement and at which point in the process we should notify the affected significant other. The preliminary suggestion, mine, was to do that just after calling 911 once we’re done with finished playing.

Here’s a DRAFT version of the DGA …

DRAFT

We, the undersigned, hereto and forever after, agree, tentatively, to perform the following steps, without fail, if we are able, in the event one of us checks out, permanently, during a round of golf in which all three of us participate, as long as the game is played at the St. Helens Golf Club.

Article One: Dying during one of the following events voids this agreement and requires that one of the surviving members call 911 immediately, or as soon as they are done going to the bathroom, to report the death. The other member will call the appropriate significant other to let them know.

While in the process of paying for the round and the cart
Driving the cart to the vehicle containing the clubs,
Transferring the clubs from the car to the cart
Driving to the first hole, Walking to the tee
While placing a ball on the tee
Taking practice swings
Addressing the ball
While in the backswing motion
While swinging down on the ball without making contact with the ball

Article Two: The game must be in progress for the articles of this agreement to be binding. To be in progress one member must have teed off at the first hole. Specifically, this means that the member has begun his swing and hits the ball. Since it will be difficult to know if a member dies at the moment his club impacts the ball, or just before that, the game will be considered in progress because he hit the ball.

Article Three: The member who discovers that a member has apparently entered a deceased mode is required by this agreement to verify if there is a pulse and if there is any sort of respiratory effort being made by the affected member.

If there is a pulse but no noticeable respiratory effort the vertical members will play one round of Rock-Paper-Scissors to determine who will perform mouth to mouth on the horizontal member. The winner of the RPS round is safe and can retire to the cart to prepare the bungee cords and rope in case they become necessary. Just in case.
If there is no pulse but the horizontal member is obviously attempting to breathe, one of the vertical members must perform chest compressions in an attempt to restart the heart. Apparently pounding on the chest is a valid form of CPR and may ‘scare’ the heart back into action. They do that in comic books.
If any CPR action works, the members will allow the golfers behind them to play through until the striken member is well enough to continue the game.
If the striken member cannot continue the round he will be declared the loser, and will be returned to his vehicle where he must wait until the other two complete the round.
Once the round is complete, one of the un-striken members should probably call a doctor, or call 911, just in case.

Article Four: If CPR actions fail, the horizontal member will be declared deceased. The time will be noted and written on the scorecard next to their name in this manner: TOD mm/dd/yyyy-hh:mm-am/pm.

Article Five: After recording TOD, surviving members will extract the bungee cords and ropes, which they are all required to carry, from their golf bags, and they will drag the horizontal member to his assigned cart and place him in the passenger seat. Bungee cords and rope will be used to the extent necessary secure the deceased member in an upright position and to limit the possibility of him falling out of the cart during the remainder of the round.

Article Six: When the round is complete, and all golfers are safely back at their vehicles, one of the survivors will call 911 and the other one will call the correct significant other. Waiting for the authorities to arrive would be a good time to alert other golfers in the area about this event so they can express their condolences and to receive a commemorative golf ball from the deceased member’s bag.

This agreement will, of course, need revision but I think you get the drift.

Cedric, Jewel, Diane, Doug, Junior, & Taylor

Posted on June 19, 2016 by Jerrie Cate

Gee! It’s been a week since my last post and I can’t comprehend that amount of time slipping past me without registering. Just a blink of the eye and it’s gone. Perhaps I had a bunch of naps which could account for some of that time, but certainly not a week. I don’t think. Now I must reflect and see if anything interesting happened. If not, I’ll make something up.

First up is Cedric. He was 19 years old last Monday, the 13th. If you’ve read a few of these, you may already know that he’s poised for a trip to the Great Lakes Naval Training Center next month to begin boot camp. He enlisted on the Delayed Entry Program (DEP) a few months ago but had to wait for a spot. He’s excited about getting on with his life and we’re happy that he is finding his way. There will be more news about his progress as information is made available to me.

Last Monday, the 14th, was a double duty day for me because I was out of the house shortly after 6am to go help put out flags around town. Why did we do that, you may ask? It was Flag Day. One of those days that not may folks know about any more. So, now you have it. Keep that in mind for next year. It’s not a paid holiday, but one that gives us another opportunity to pay tribute to our Stars and Stripes.

After flags were in place, I made a trip to the St. Helens Golf Course for another round with the Peal Boys, Doug and Junior. That’s always a fun time. I actually played a pretty good round, too. Had two pars, one of which was a potential birdie. My drive made it to the green, something I’ve never done before. What fun is that!? Jimmie O wants to team up for a round at Wildwood soon so I’ll have an opportunity to see if I can survive 18 holes. There will be a report on that later, too, if I do good.

After golfing, we had a McBurgerville lunch then Doug dropped me by the doctor’s office for a scheduled visit with my cardiologist. This was the followup regarding the cardiac event I had a few weeks ago. I think it was a few weeks ago. I forget. Perhaps some of those brain cells that help me remember stuff got messed up somewhere along the road. That happens, and it’s OK. We all forget stuff. The one thing about forgetting stuff is where I am doing something up stairs and find I need “something” that’s in the basement but can’t remember what it is when I get down there. When that happens I walk around in my work shop and talk to my tools, and random pieces of wood, trying to get some help from them to remind me what I’m after. Generally I remember and find what I want, but sometimes I just find something else more interesting that what I was previously doing. When Diane discovers that I’m missing, she gets me back on track to finish the original task. She knows I forget, and I told her that it’s really only going to be a problem if I rush from the living room to the bathroom than can’t remember why I went there. I believe she has a stash of Depends somewhere to assist when that moment comes.

Thursday morning I had coffee with my friend, Larry. My other friend Larry played hooky so we didn’t have a quorum for the weekly meeting. Got to have three in case something comes up for a vote to ensure we don’t wind up with a tie. I believe the rest of that day was spent slumbering. I’m not sure. Diane may know. You’ll have to ask.

Friday we made a trip to Scappoose to pick up Jewel, our new gardener and dog sitter. She’s been on Hawaii, the Big Island, for the last 38 years, or so, (I’m guessing, of course), and is pretty much a native of Kailua/Kona. Coming back to the NW is like coming home for her. Thankfully the weather has cooperated, giving her a warm welcome. The sad thing about her return is that when we visit Kona we won’t have her to visit with. Because of that we may just not ever go there again. The good thing about her being here is she likes our dogs and she likes to pull weeds so we are applying a lot of pressure on her to just come live with us, like forever, or at least until she gets settled. She and I graduated from Scappoose High School together and it’s fun getting reacquainted after all these years. Because she was our Prom Queen I didn’t have a chance of ever dating her and now, look! We’re living together. It’s ok, though, because she and Diane are long time friends.

Friday afternoon we all went to the Riverfest Beer Garden down by the old court-house where we attended a OLCC training session about checking IDs for folks entering the area. We had to do that because Diane signed us up for a two-hour stint Friday evening. The training we received amounted to someone reading us a brochure that indicated the necessity of ensuring only competent adults were allowed in to drink beer then quickly shifted to “Signs of Visible Intoxication”. Here they are:

Bloodshot, glassy eyes
Slurred speech
Spilling drinks
Rambling conversation, loss of train of thought
Difficulty handling money, picking up change
Lack of focus and eye contact
Difficulty standing up
Stumbling
Swaying, staggering
Speaking loudly, then quietly
Difficulty remembering
Slow response to questions

After that list is a reminder to the trainee that drinking while on duty is against the law because serving alcohol responsibly requires a clear head. That kind of got me because we weren’t serving alcohol. We were just checking IDs. Still, it was part of the training. After that little pause, another bulleted list of “More Signs of Visible Intoxication”.

Can’t find mouth with glass
Mussed hair
Disheveled clothing
Loud and unruly
Urging other people to have another drink
Annoying other guests or servers
Aggressive or belligerent
Making inappropriate comments about others
Foul language
Sullen, moody

After having all of this read to us I was convinced that the list was made specifically for me because I have almost every one of those problems without ever consuming alcohol. The first set of bullets apply to me from the time I get up in the morning until after I have my afternoon meal. After the meal, the bottom set of bullets apply. Except for the foul language. I don’t do that. Can’t say I’ve never been guilty of that, but I don’t practice that form of communication any more. It’s not productive. Diane said.

While at Riverfest, I had a chance to greet Taylor and find out how school in Las Vegas is going for her. She was working in her Mom’s Yo Place Frozen Yogurt trailer.

Yesterday was a fun day in the yard for all of us. Jewel is a gem, no pun intended, and a hard worker. It’s to our advantage that she loves digging in the dirt. Diane decided that she would try mowing the lawn which turned into an adventure for both her, and me. I found some really good face masks that allowed her to be in the open air, covered with grass clippings, and still breathe normally. Without it she would have been so choked up she’d’ve had to stay in side. Grass is her main nemesis. That and strong perfume.

Anyway, I got her moving on the lawn mower, after jump starting it, then turned her loose. Since I forgot to show her about putting the ignition key in the correct position for mowing in reverse, I had to drag a battery and cables to her and get the mower going again. Then she did an absolutely perfect job mowing the front yard. Things went south when she moved around to the side yard and she discovered that getting around trees posed a problem for novice lawn mowers. First, she ran into the holly tree and killed the engine. That required another jump-start. Then she dropped one of the front wheels into a hole and killed the engine for another jump-start. The last one was when she got tangled up in the grape vines and couldn’t extract herself. Another jump-start. It got to the point that whenever I heard the mower stop I just deserted my blackberry vine eradication efforts and took the batter to wherever she was. The most entertaining episode, however, didn’t involve a killing the engine, but almost killing herself, so to speak. She was mowing around a low hanging forsythia, thinking it couldn’t be all that hard to slowly mow under the dangling branches. I just happened to look up and saw her flying out from under the branches at full speed, leaning back as far as she could to avoid contact, and it looked like she was riding a bucking bronco. All she would have had to do was put one hand in the air to prove she wasn’t hanging on with both hands. What happened was when she leaned back she pushed the forward hydrostatic clutch lever all the way down and didn’t realize it as she fought to extract herself from the scratchy branches with minimal injury. It took her a good 30 feet to stop because she was going downhill, and when I got to her she was in hysterics, having a great time. It was really funny, and I’m glad she didn’t hurt herself. Just wish I could’ve had a video camera at the ready when I saw her take off.

Since nothing can top the mower episode, I’m going to quit. Diane’s looking forward to finishing up the back yard tomorrow. I’ll be standing by with the camera this time.

Cheers!

Home At Last, and Other Stuff

Posted on June 9, 2016 by Jerrie Cate

Yes, we’re home. At last.

After a leisurely transit of I-84, an overnight stay at the Wild Horse Casino in Pendleton, and past the site of the Oil Train Fire in Mosier, we reunited the dogs with a great deal of happy barking. It quickly became annoying because we haven’t heard if for over a week. Once they sensed our displeasure from our repetitive request to stop, they stopped. I suspect, however, they stopped simply because they wanted to do. We had no influence on their decision.

Before stopping at Wild Horse Casino we made a stop in La Grande to get gas and visit our Niece-Niece Maryssa who is attending Eastern Oregon University which, happily, is in La Grande. We had a nice visit sitting in our trailer, near the tennis courts on Sixth Street. It would have been nice if we could have enjoyed lunch together but we had the Big Black Dog (Ziva) and it was too hot to leave her alone in either the trailer or the pickup. As a lunch alternative, and a farewell gesture, we gave her all the frozen food remaining from our trip. I believe that caused a little remorse for all those times she ignored us when she was 6-12 years old. That’s an incentive to bring her food every time we see her. We’re making plans now. Something about strawberries I think.

Pendleton to home was uneventful except for an extremely windy 20 miles or so before exiting the Columbia River Gorge in Troutdale. It’s always windy there. I didn’t worry about it because Diane was driving. If the trailer had tipped over, it wouldn’t have been my fault. Wouldn’t have been her fault, either, but, you know, she was driving.

We got home on Monday, as planned. Then yesterday Diane got up early so she could make it to PDX by 0900 to get Ashlee and her fiancé Mike who flew in from Wisconsin. I couldn’t do it because I had to visit my dentist, Dr. Grim and get my teeth cleaned by Cheryl at 0900. Ashlee is half of a set of twins belonging to Lars & Barbara; Lars belongs to Butch & Margo, our long-time friends who live in Wisconsin. Mike and Ashlee’s flight arrived early so we all got home about the same time. The reason for the visit was for Ashlee to find living accommodations while she attends Pacific University to get her PhD in physical therapy. Mike is a Manufacturing Engineer seeking employment in the greater Portland area.

Today I went golfing with the Peal brothers. Diane insisted. It was a good day for all of us because none of us died out there on the course. I informed Diane of the agreement we golfers have in case one of us bites the big one while out there having all that fun. No matter which hole it happens on, we will finish the round. The two remaining golfers will play best ball for the deceased member who will be strapped into one of the carts we use. I initially thought we would have to drag the non-playing member from hole to hole, but Doug suggested just putting them in one of the open seats. Bungee cords are now part of our golfing equipment to ensure we have enough to hold a body on the cart. Then, once the round is complete, we will call 911 to report the loss then go hold a memorial lunch at Burgerville. If one of the married guys check out, the losing wife will be notified so she can attend the lunch. It’s the right thing to do.

We all made it through our standard nine holes so it was a successful day. I couldn’t attend the lunch that normally follows our golf game because I had to be home in time to take Ozzie to his hair dresser at 1300. I also had to get some drain cleaner for the kitchen sink. It’s been running a bit slow and finally jammed shut this morning. I figured we’d need to wash dishes some time this evening so it was necessary to visit ACE. That’s my first trip to ACE in a couple of weeks which is a modern-day record for me.

The cleaner worked and the sink now drains just fine. I’m sure you are all happy to know that. I can smell the chemical at the top of the basement stairs so the Pro drain cleaner I used may have eaten a hole in one of the drain pipes. I looked around down there but couldn’t find any evidence of a leak but I don’t go down there very often so I don’t view it as a problem. Diane’s washing machine, dryer, and ironing board are down there, however, so will let me know if she discovers something amiss. She has to go to the basement because it’s her job. I’d help but she won’t let me. Apparently that chenille sweater I dried in the dryer 8 years ago, and subsequently extracted most of from the vent filter, ensured I wouldn’t have to do laundry for a long time.

Since I’m not making a lot of sense, and because my right foot hurts, I think I’ll just terminate this. My foot hurts because I have a bout of gout in the large toe. We don’t know why. No doubt it’s something I ate but, since I’ve eaten a lot of “stuff” lately it would be are to pick out one thing that may have caused it. So, I will just continue to limp and eat whatever Diane gives me.

It’s 2000 now, and we haven’t seen Ashlee or Mike all day. We were considering that it might be time to start worrying when Ashlee texted Diane to let her know they were on their way back to St. Helens. That’s a good thing.

Now I’m eating popcorn for supper so I really gotta quit.