Toilet Seats

Posted on December 14, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

As Cedric once told me, when I demonstrated to him how some of the Tupperware we have will snap together, “My life is now complete,” because I have had the pleasure of seeing, and using, an electric toilet seat. Yes, it plugs into the wall, and it has its own dedicated water supply.

Now, some folks may find it a bit disconcerting to sit on a toilet seat that is connected to a wall socket in order to run a water pump that sprays water onto some very delicate areas of ones’ body. In the end, however, this may ultimately be the best answer to the worlds’ dwindling supply of toilet paper. Yes, it also has a dryer that expels a pleasing fragrance to replace the odoriferous expellation that recently erupted from the target area.

Now, I understand that what I saw is just a new rendition of a traditional bidet, but the old ones use cold water, work only as good as the water pressure allows, and the need of someone willing fan the area involved … or, perhaps, a nice downy soft towel in the hands of an incredibly gentle and friendly person.

This historic encounter occurred yesterday when we checked into our designated abode on the great island of Hawaii. Nowhere we’ve visited in the lower 48 have we encountered such appliances.

Leaving you with that bit of information, I find that it’s necessary to stop and prepare a traditional Hawaiian breakfast of scrambled eggs and spam before we go to the beach.

Have a good day.

Tetanus Shots & Table Saws

Posted on December 4, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

For the past month or so, Diane has been battling bronchitis. She’s had a horrible time with it and it seems to happen every year at this time when things turn really wet outside. It’s always a concern for me because when she’s making me a sandwich and coughing I fear that I may be the next victim. So far that hasn’t happened, probably because I convinced her to visit her doctor a couple of weeks ago and she got some antibiotics to help her fight this. After three days on the antibiotics I was confident that she was no longer contagious and allowed he to resume her sandwich making duties. She’s been slowly improving since then and is almost back to her normal self.

Yesterday she had her followup visit with the doctor to see how things were going. After she left I got to thinking that it’s been a number of years since I had my last tetanus shot. Now, that’s not normally something I think about, but it gave me something to consider as I went down to my shop to continue work on a couple of projects I have going for Christmas.

Within 10 minutes, during which time I was able to make a series of boards, with angled edges of precisely 11.5 degrees, on my table saw. On the very last cut the table saw snatched the perfectly good leather glove of my left hand and gnawed a large chunk from the forefinger area. Due to the pain which accompanied the destruction of my glove I was pretty certain there was physical damage involved. My well honed reactions to events of this nature cause me to make a tight fist of my left hand and clutch it to my chest in a manner that, had anyone been present, may have indicated I was suffering a cardiac event.

Before the pain subsided, I turned off the saw, and the shop vac that was connected to it in order to suck all the sawdust away from the saw, and headed for my car in order to make yet another visit to the emergency room. It took longer than necessary to get out of the house because I couldn’t find my phone, which was on the work bench in the shop. Once I remembered where the phone was, I checked to ensure the dogs had full water bowls and that the cat had food (she drinks from the dog’s bowls), got my car keys and headed down the hill

Because I had my left hand clutched to my chest I decided that I didn’t want to fuss over how to get my seat belt strapped around me so, throwing caution to the wind, headed down the hill without it. It feels really odd to drive without a seat belt. It’s just not normal. But I did it.

Instead of going directly to the emergency room, I parked by Diane’s truck on the other side of the building thinking she would know something was up when she saw my car. To ensure there was no confusion, however, I went into the reception area and asked one of the ladies to please give Diane a message about where I was so she would know why my car was there. Then I walked around the building to the emergency side of things.

Walking into the emergency room with my hand clutched to my chest, I knew, would create a stir, so I just said “table saw”, to the first person I saw so they wouldn’t get the wrong idea about the reason for my visit. Those two little words granted me front of the line priority and, after a very brief check in, I was rushed to a room beyond the normally locked doors where things happen.

Since I’ve done this before, a number of times, and most recently for the same finger, I know the procedure, and most of the people helping me. I assumed a prone position, in my well used work clothes, on a nice white sheet, then opened my fist so the nurse could get the glove off and check the damage. From precious experience I knew that my clutching method would stem the flow of blood to a minimum so wasn’t surprised when none came pouring out when the glove was removed.

Here’s what it looked like …

Notice the nice 1/8″ kerf. Since I’d never seen the interior of my finger before, I was quite fascinated.

A nice young lady, who claimed to not be a doctor, but a PA, checked out my wound and determined that she could save it. During her investigation, she asked about the status of my tetanus vaccination and I reported that that particular shot was one of the reasons for my visit because it’s been about 7 years since my last one and figured another one was due. Oddly, that coincided with my last visit to that same room, for issues with the same forefinger.Then she gave me a shot to deaden the finger, telling me I’d feel a little pinch when she inserted the needle. I assured her, when it was done, that what I felt wasn’t too bad, but it certainly wasn’t like a pinch. She laughed. Then my finger went to sleep before the pain took over my senses.

Diane arrived to keep me company around this time and I was happy that she wasn’t mad at me. And, she had good news that, though she had infection in her eustachian tube, the bronchitis was much better. I love being with my wife, even in an emergency room.

Actually, the most severe pain was at the moment of impact with the saw blade as I felt each tooth tearing into my finger as it spun. Nasty. Still, it was nice to have it numb.

Then one of the nurses came in and administered the new tetanus shot, in my right shoulder area, after which another nurse arrived with equipment she used to scrub the be-Jesus out of the wound, ensuring there were no stray little bits of leather or wood chips hanging around. I didn’t watch because I knew she was doing a very thorough job and I didn’t want to vomit on my chest. It wasn’t until then that my right shoulder began hurting a little from the injection.

When the scrubbing was done, the PA returned with the stitch kit she needed to repair the damage. As she entered, the lights flickered a bit, and everyone was commenting about the odd smell in the air. For me, it had a distinctive bakelite smell indicative of some sort of electronic equipment failure. My friend, “The Plant Electrician”, is no doubt well acquainted with that telling aroma. After a short time the fire alarm sounded and everyone vacated the building, out into the rain, to await the fire department.

A nurse quickly wrapped a bunch of gauze around my finger and Diane went to get her truck to bring it around so we could sit and wait. I was thankful for that as I watched everyone huddled outside in the rain. They could have gone to their cars, too, but they didn’t.

Finally the fire department showed up …

… and they shooed everyone away from the building, out into the rain. Apparently standing under the shelter of the entry area wasn’t a good idea. So, everyone left, but we were allowed to stay, sitting in the truck.

That’s my PA, Kimberly, in the white coat. In front of her, is another Diane that I’ve known a long time, and to her left is Kimberly’s scribe, Beth. I don’t know where they went, but I regret not offering them all a seat in the truck to await the outcome of this event. I’m sure Kimberly could have stitched me up while we waited.

Finally, after about an hour, long enough for my finger to heal, we were allowed back into the building where we assumed our previous positions. Mike, an ex Navy Corpsman, provided us with warm blankets which felt really good.

After everything settled down, and things were moving back to normal, Kimberly reappeared to resume her task. Because of the delay in finishing the procedure, we both thought it would be a good idea if she added a bit more numbing agent before getting busy with the stitches. While doing so, I learned from idle chatter in the hallway that I was the cause of the need to evacuate because everything was going just fine until I got there. Having broad shoulders, figuratively speaking, I figured I could accept that responsibility and ease the burden a little for the real culprit who drove his vehicle into a power pole somewhere nearby.

Six stitches are now holding my finger together. That makes 21 stitches total for that one digit in its lifetime. None of its neighboring digits have ever been stitched up so it has the record, hands down.

I sincerely hope every one of you who have suffered through this narrative are in good health and will continue to enjoy that state of being for the remainder of your lives.

Now I must heal.

Bargain of the day!

Posted on November 23, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

I just got my daily email from Costco that lists all the great deals available to me. Here’s my favorite so far …. Japanese Wagyu Boneless Ribeye Roast … a deal at $109.10 a pound, with each roast weighing a minimum of 11 lbs, making this roast ring up at $1499.99, including shipping.

BUT! Since I’m a valued Costco customer, I get $300 off making it a mere $1199.99.

I’m sorry, but I bet I could buy an entire cow for that much. Might not be in the best shape, but a little ketchup makes it all tastes the same to me.

I’m wondering about the boneless part of this. Maybe these animals were genetically engineered to omit bones from their structure since they probably don’t walk around much. That way the growers could squeeze 3 or 4 of them into a feeding space meant for one that has bones. That might not work, though, because they’d have to have bones in their heads or they wouldn’t be able to chew their food. But, if they eliminated head bones and just fed them with giant IV’s, they could just lay them flat on the ground like a rug.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not an advocate of raising flat steers, no matter how good the meat might be. No sir. I’ll stick to steaks that have the bone in.

That’s probably all I should say right now.

ID Theft Adverted

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

Recently my debit card was denied at a couple of places so I thought it might be prudent to ask someone about it. I was gratified to know that my credit union was aware enough to know that I couldn’t possibly be in Oceanside, CA and Middlebury, CT at the same time and correctly locked down the card so no one could use it. I wasn’t aware of the problem for a while for two reasons … 1) I don’t use the card very often, and 2) Comcast changed my home phone number for a period of time so no one could call me.

Well, they called, but it was the number we used to have before Comcast changed it so the number rang up “Not in Service” which is why I convinced them it needed to be restored. Which they did.

Beware! This is the time of year when the scum of the earth creep out in larger droves than normal and invest a ton of energy into stealing from unwary folks. Too bad they don’t understand that the same amount of energy expended for an honorable reason is far more rewarding.

Scappoose Sports

Posted on November 14, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

Once the St. Helens football and soccer teams were eliminated from contention for their respective playoffs, Diane and I started going to Scappoose football and soccer games. It was an easy thing to do because both Diane and I are Scappoose alumni and actually know a lot of people sitting in the stands around us. The upside to attending those games was that they were winning and lots of fun to watch. What made it even better was that they played some of their games on St. Helens’ new turf field. Therefore, we didn’t have to travel all the way to Scappoose, those dangerous 8 miles, to watch the games. It was as simple as rolling down to the bottom of the hill, kinda.

Yesterday we watched Scappoose win another quarter-final game 48-46. It initially looked like it was going to be a blowout when the Indians went ahead 34-13 but Marshfield (Coos Bay) came back and made a game out of it. It was pretty tense at the end of the game when they got that close.

Now the Indians, who are still maintaining home field advantage, must win their semi-final game against North Bend to earn their spot in the state championship game which will be played November 28th, right after Thanksgiving. Sadly, we won’t be able to attend the semi-final game because we’ll be somewhere in Portland watching Riverdance. I’ve always wanted to do that.

Now, the girls soccer team. What a powerhouse they are. I may have mentioned in a previous post that the football team place kicker is on the girls soccer team. She’s pretty tricky with her feet and is one of the primary scorers for the team. Today the Lady Indians played their last game, winning the state championship game 5-0, and ending their season unbeaten at 18-0. Of the games we watched, we only saw one goal scored against them. Today’s game was really a little boring, like everyone knew what was going to happen so there was no excitement in the crowd. That came out only when the girls scored. They reminded Diane and me of how the St. Helens JV team played … totally as a team that knows how to pass the ball. It was a clinic for their opponents.

Here’s a photo of the boys’ last win on the St. Helens field … this is when they broke ranks from what appeared to me to be an illegal prayer on a school field. I loved it.

And, here are the girls right after winning their championship game. It was supposed to rain buckets today, but it held off so they played dray the entire game.

Weight Loss Furniture

Posted on November 9, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

I heard on the news tonight (KGW Channel 8) that flame retardant chemicals on furniture are suspected to be linked to cancer, low IQ, and obesity in children.

Fortunately, I’m frequently told I’m childish and we just bought a new couch from Ashley Furniture that doesn’t have chemical flame retardants. Therefore, it stands to reason that I can sit on that couch as long as I want with no fear of gaining weight, getting cancer, or dropping a few numbers off my IQ. Also, since there was no mention of food regarding the obesity with regard to chemical flame retardants, I see no reason why I can’t eat whatever I want while sitting on that couch for as long as I want.

Life is good.

Star Light, Star Bright

Posted on November 9, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

I felt compelled to share the sunrise that greeted me two days ago because it was totally unique in my experience which, as those who read my drivel know, is vast, if somewhat tainted by an overactive imagination. This one is the real deal, however, and I wonder who else was fortunate enough to have been delighted with this sight of Oregon’s Southern sky …

The view of Mt. Hood is the common draw for my eye, but the morning moon, accompanied with an incredibly bright star was a special treat. Sadly, I failed to use my handy-dandy iPad app to discover which star it was, but I’m betting one of you astronomers out there can help. I’m guessing it’s Venus, just for fun.

Golf in the Fog, High School Football, Church, and Best Buds

Posted on November 2, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

Golfing in the fog isn’t for the lighthearted, but it’s fun. Actually, for some of us, it’s really no different from golfing on a bright sunny day. For those lucky folks it’s still a matter of hitting the ball, then finding it so they can hit it again, as many times as necessary. For normal golfers, those who can actually golf, simply go to their ball because they know where it landed and don’t need to look for it. I suspect those folks do as well in the fog as they do on any other day. I bet they aren’t as excited about finding their balls as much as those who have to find theirs.

Finding our cart was easy, as was finding the first tee box. It’s out behind the mushroom looking tree a little ways.

Here’s what it looks like from the #1 tee. Plenty of visibility to see which direction the ball heads once it’s hit.

By the time we got to #8 the air was clearing up.

This is JP warming up for a tremendous drive down #8. I believe he parred this one.

Tuesday was a good day.

Friday we went to the St. Helens High School foot ball game, a new tradition we began a couple of weeks ago. We’ll no doubt keep it up because Lydia’s boyfriend, Mason, #9 below on the near right of the photo, is also a Junior and will play again next year. Also, since the current place kicker seems to have a bit of trouble, Lydia is seriously thinking about trying out for the team as the kicker next season. As a soccer goalie she’s learned how to kick quite well. Should be an interesting year. We hope she is successful in this endeavor. Me especially because I can’t wait to get a photo of her and Mason together in their varsity football uniforms. That would be pretty awesome.

Just a selfie of some folks sitting in my vicinity in the bleachers. Actually, that’s Noydena in the back, and her mother, Sandy, below her. In case you haven’t figured out by the stuffed Lion, The St. Helens team is, well, the Lions. Go figure.

At church on Sunday Diane discovered that she almost dressed exactly like Randy. That’s Diane on the right.

Today JP came by the house and asked if I had a vice.

Not having one, I said "no." 
He said, "well, I guess we'll have to go to Doug's, then."
"Why", I asked.
"To replace the grips on your golf clubs", he said.
"I don't have any new grips", I replied.
"Yes you do."
"I do?"
"Yes."
"Where might they be?"
"In my car."
"OK."

That ultimately resulted in the following scene where Doug and JP went to work ripping the old grips off, dousing everything in sight with BBQ lighter fluid, applying special tape, applying more lighter fluid, then slipping the new grip into place.

I’m truly blessed to have friends like these two guys.

For an ending I have to share with you Panzee and her new best friend, Cloud, a small rabbit living next door.

Panzee will spend hours just sitting there watching the bunny and the bunny will come to the fence for a nuzzle once in a while. Very touching. Actually, I think Panzee just wonders what it is and what it might taste like.

G’nite.

I’m The Maytag Guy – The Winnebago Guy Too – Who Knew?

Posted on October 26, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

Today I successfully resurrected a 20(+)-year-old Maytag Neptune washing machine. It’s been sitting in the basement, unused, for the last 4-5 days because it wouldn’t drain. That malady made it a little difficult to wash clothes so Diane just didn’t do that. I’m not an expert Maytag repairman, but neither am I a rookie at bringing this particular washer back to life. When it was fairly new it was used to wash some really old area rugs, one of which had some old crispy rubber backing that the washing successfully stripped and attempted to flush out the drain hose. Needless to say, it didn’t drain well and it was necessary to dismantle the drain system and remove about a gallon of those little bits of rubber from the drain hose and drain pump. It was an enlightening evolution, one about which I knew nothing in the beginning. But, I’m not shy about taking things apart, something I may have mentioned in one or more previous posts.

As luck would have it, removing all the rubber solved that problem and imposing a ban on washing rugs that have questionable backing has allowed the washing to work quite nicely for the next 20 years.

Since I wasn’t sure what the problem was this time I ripped it apart again to check the pump. I dismantled the pump housing and confirmed that the motor ran OK, I thought, put it all back together and reinstalled it. Then the computer came in to play as I searched for parts that I thought might resolve the problem. The only choices I could think of was the timer or the pump motor. They arrived this afternoon.

When Diane returned from her trip to Longview, to take Cedric to the dentist, I was knee-deep in getting the parts installed. I’d already replaced the timer and had determined it wasn’t the problem. Therefore I pulled out the old pump, which was very hot, indicating that though it didn’t drain the washer, it gave it a good try. Too bad I didn’t feel the pump first, right? Well, I was going for the easiest solution first.

Diane arrived just I was in the process of tightening the last hose clamp on the new motor so she got home just in time to help me check it out. Before running a test I pushed the washer back into place, pretending it was going to work fine. Turns out it did just that.

As the water was being pumped from the washer Diane clapped and jumped up and down because she was so happy that she would be able to spend all day tomorrow washing clothes. I think that makes her the best wife ever.

Long before the washer parts arrived, we made a trip to Portland with the hopes we could purchase a replacement hose that would keep the transmission fluid from vacating the Winnebago, leaving messy drips all over the place. The business we found is one that makes replacement hoses as needed. When we got it back home I dug out some work clothes, found my wrenches, and crawled under the RV to see if what I had was, indeed, the solution. It was, and I was elated. All that took place after Diane left for the trip to Longview with Cedric, and it was a quick fix. I was very gratified that I was able to resolve that problem with a simple solution. The custom hose, by the way, only cost $14.11. I was figuring it would cost between $30-$40. Can’t wait until I have to get another hose made, now that I know they’re so inexpensive.

After all the work was done, I received a phone call from Legacy Health to report the results of my MRI last week. Turns out I have a full tear in the rotator cuff of my left shoulder. So now I’m being referred to a Ortho Surgeon to see what can be done. Oddly enough, the pain I have from this injury is mainly when I lay down to sleep. Golfing isn’t a problem.

So, tomorrow I’m going golfing. Doug said so.

Jennifer Lynn is 40

Posted on October 26, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

I already shared a bit about Jennifer turning 40, but it bears repeating. Especially since she’s a Happy 40. That, and we had a family party after church yesterday to celebrated just one more time.

We did it at Fultanos in Scappoose and almost the entire gang was there.

Here’s proof …

Left to right we have … Baylee, Daniel, Diane, Jeran, Jean, Cedric, Jeff, Jennifer, Gilligan, Lydia, and Mason. Jerrie took the photo, like normal.

The cake was made with cupcakes and was expertly decorated by a couple of people who don’t decorate many cakes. It was a challenge but all the little red-hot candies saved the day. Jennie really like those little red-hot candies.

There were only 4 candles because the baker figured that, since they were extra tall, they really each counted as 10 normal candles. Plus, there was a question about whether or not the new 40-years-old could muster up enough wind to blow out 40 candles. She did really good with the 4 provided.