Author Archives: Jerrie Cate

Random Thoughts

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Yesterday I got all maudlin and started writing what it was like being the skinniest kid in the world. Thankfully, I didn’t press “Publish” on that one and saved all 4 of you a truly boring read. Instead of “truly” boring, this one will be just “kinda” boring.

I really don’t know why I said that because I really don’t know if it’s going to be boring or not. I have no control over what comes out of my fingers so don’t know where this is going. Sometimes I think my fiddly fingers have a mind all their own. So, where do we go from here?

How about weather?

It was really cold here in NW Oregon today. It’s been cold for the last week, actually. But, no precipitation, except a wee bit of rain. Since this is Oregon, rain doesn’t count. We’re used to being wet.

Today looked like snow weather and it was 33 most of the day. Fortunately, the weathermen all agreed that it wasn’t going to snow, so it didn’t. There’s no guarantee on how long they will all think the same way, however. Once one or two of them shift their thinking, any kind of weather is possible. In 1995 none of them could agree and we had a terrible ice storm that caused major power outages. I was working for Portland General Electric at the time, and have the shirt to prove it.

After that storm, all the weathermen formed a union, of sorts, and agreed to promote the same weather, ensuring that nothing bad ever happened again. What skews that process is when one of the old guys moves on, or retires, and a new weatherman, or woman, enters the scene. Women give weather an entirely different spin.

Some of you may think this is going to be some sort of sexist comment against women, but those who really know me, know that I’d never do that. I think it’s just great that there are weatherwomen because they bring color to a rather dull subject. Nice bright dresses, good makeup, pretty scarves, and flashy fingernails. It’s hard for the guys to compete with their kind of presentation. Add to that the fact that most men have no idea what the weather is all about, once the broadcast is over, because they were too busy checking out the software.

Aw, there I went and did it. Sorry. If I could that that back, I would, but I have a policy that writing it, thinking it, or saying it is pretty much the same. Once it’s done, it’s done. I know, I could back up and erase that, thanks to the wonderful technology we have, but that wouldn’t be fair. You who waste your valuable time reading this deserve to see it all.

Back to women … I’m all for equality. In fact, I’m all for more than equality. I say let women do everything and leave the men home to do the laundry, housework, and cooking. I’d even clean out the litter box, if we had a cat, which we don’t, so it’s easy for me to say that.

Speaking of laundry … I haven’t been allowed to do laundry since 1993 when I tossed one of Diane’s really nice chenille sweaters into the dryer, and later picked about 90% of it out of the lint trap. That wasn’t a good day, but it got me out of the laundry business. Since then, I’ve been the vacuum cleaner guy. One of these days something will go wrong to get me out of that one, too, but I fear what might replace it. I’m already banned from loading the dishwasher because I do it wrong. I cook once in a while, but it hasn’t been added to my list of duties … so far it’s a voluntary thing. I also help change the sheets, when asked. I never volunteer for that one because I don’t see the need to do it more than once a month. Diane thinks otherwise. Sometimes she does it and I don’t know it until it’s time for bed. Then  I have to take time to shower so I don’t mess them up.

Back to laundry … I that was my main chore it would be so easy. I’d have 7 shirts, 7 pairs of pants, 7 pairs of socks and 7 pair of underwear. When I put on the 7th sent I’d wash all the rest so I’d be ready for the next day. I’ve often thought living like Jack Reacher would be OK, too. He buys cheap clothes and when they get dirty he buys new ones and throws the old ones away. Jack Reacher isn’t a real person, I don’t think. He’s a character in novels by Lee Child.

I hear commercials on the living room TV which means that Diane is asleep on the couch. If she was awake she’d be buzzing through the commercials with the fast forward button on the DVR. I think DVR means digital video recorder. It’s like a VCR with no tape. I forget what VCR stands for.

My ears are ringing loudly so it’s time for me to knock this off and get to bed. The noise is always better in the morning. It’s something that just gets louder as the day goes on. Doc said they don’t know why it happens, and there’s nothing they can do about it. The underlying message there is, “live with it”. So, I do. Though annoying, I’d rather have ringing in my ears than a migraine.

Twilight Saga Review & The Great Raccoon Battle

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Today we went to see “Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1”. They may have listed the title differently, but that one makes sense to me. For the rest of this, I’m just reporting things as I see them.

For those of you not familiar with the Twilight series, it began as a series of about 14 books about benevolent-type vampires and a group of equally benevolent werewolves. I have to admit that I’ve read all 9 of the books and actually enjoyed them. They are the kind of books that you have to keep reading to see if anything exciting happens then someone turns them in to chick-flicks, which I also enjoy. It’s OK for guys to cry once in a while, as long as it’s dark.

The main character in the books is Bella and her shiny vampire boyfriend, Edward, who is, like, 112 years old. But he looks about 30, playing the role of an 18-year-old. Bella was a more convincing 18, by far.

The Cullens Clan (of vampires) lives in Forks, Washington on the Olympic Peninsula. It’s a for real place. It’s interesting that they filmed many of the scenes right here in St. Helens. Go figure. There’s even a tour of downtown showing all the places here in town they used. Those who live here are able to easily pick out the locations. Even me.

Anyway, the story is mostly a love story about Bella, Edward, and Jacob (one of the werewolves). It’s an odd triangle love affair centered around Bella, of course. I actually liked Jacob better than Edward so figured Bella made a colossal mistake by focusing on Edward. The only way she could connect with Edward was by having him bite her, making her immortal, and forever a bloodsucker, as Jacob would say. Most of the scenes are of Bella and Edward kissing and it looks, to me, like he’s trying to gnaw Bella’s lips off. She comes up a little puffy some times, but he still tries.

Everyone knows that vampires and werewolves are mortal enemies. If they don’t, they should. If they watch any of the 6 movies in the Twilight series they will understand. Or, maybe they won’t. That doesn’t really matter. Just understand that they hate each other but Bella keeps them from killing each other. Interesting. She’s a mortal, for crimeiny sakes.

After lots of drama, and some interesting encounters with the Voltari (I think that’s right), the head of all the vampires, who are stationed in Italy, not Transylvania, like most of us would have guessed. At least I would have. Actually, I did, and couldn’t understand how the author could have played me like that. I felt betrayed in an odd way, because it turned out to be OK that they worked out of Rome. After all, that’s where Vatican City is and you can’t get any more opposite than that – vampires and catholics.

This most recent movie is about Bella and Edward’s wedding, the ensuing honeymoon, lots of lip gnawing, a two-month full term pregnancy, and the death of Bella. She really looked terrible in the end, until the transformation. When she opened her eyes, the movie ended, just like Avatar, on in Avatar it was a guy. A really BIG guy. But, I bet either Edward or Jacob could whip him. It will be interesting to see what happens in the Part 2, but it won’t be coming out until 2014, or something like that.

Overall, the 3 or 4 movies have remained faithful to the 5 books.

In the middle of all that I had to take the dogs out because Diane said Ziva was groaning. Turns out she was groaning because she wanted to get acquainted with a cute little raccoon not much bigger than Ozzie. Ziva and Panzee cornered the raccoon under one of the grape vines and I was able to intercept them all before they disappeared into the property above us. There was much growling and gnashing of teeth, but the little raccoon was a feisty little fellow and the dogs decided the better part of valor was to listen to me and quit the assault. The upside of that encounter was that I got to run the 100 yard dash in my boots to do the intercept so I got all the exercise I need for the next 6 days.

Now I can just lay around and eat nuts.

Go Ducks!

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Today was Friday. I say that, knowing full well that each and every one of you already know that. Being Friday, however, means that the PAC-12 NCAA Football Championship game is on tonight between the Oregon Ducks and the UCLA Bruins. Oh, wait! That game is over! The Ducks won 49-31! What a surprise. I was allowed to watch the entire game. Had it not been for the loss to USC, perhaps the Ducks could have repeated for a national title bid against LSU. Instead, they’ll just have to settle for the Rose Bowl. What a bummer, right? Wonder who they will play.

Shortly after the game started, I borrowed Diane’s car for a run out to our church to resurrected the printer/copier. That only took about 30 minutes, so didn’t miss much.

I’m having trouble thinking of things I did today worth talking about, so I’m just going to tell some more lies. What’s new there? Eh?

Today was beautiful. That’s not a lie. It was sunny, clear, which seems a bit odd for December. Granted, it was a little chilly, but we can live with that by just staying indoors and peeking out the window at the blue sky. Actually, we can do that from our recliners, which we often do – between TV shows.

Speaking of TV shows, we’ve been thinking about getting another DVR so we can record all our favorite shows. Right now we can only record two shows at a time and there are three shows shows we absolutely have to see on some nights. “When,” you might ask, “do you have time to watch all of those shows?” With new developments in quantum mechanics, and nano technology, it’s simply a matter of having one of the new TVs that speed things up a little. Currently, they can only do this while using a DVR but there are rumblings about models soon to appear that can speed things up in real time.

The downside, of course, is that when the TV speeds things up watchers tend to lose track of what’s going on, and the actors voices tend to be on the shrill side, taking away from the drama in most shows. It’s kind of hard to believe the reality of a good love scene when both actors are talking like Alvin the chipmunk. But, it makes you laugh, and that’s important, too.

So, I recommend that everyone just take a course in “speed listening” techniques, like we’re going to do, so you can overcome the deficiencies of the sped up TVs. At $18,000 a pop, it’s just not worth it. In a few years the price will drop to around $8,000 and the technology should be better allowing most normal people to keep up with the action. If you invest in speed listening, as suggested, you’ll be way ahead of the curve and will be able to watch your TV shows on your navigation system while stuck in traffic jams. They can be streamed directly from your DVR to your navigation system via your iPhone. No other phone will work for this feature at this time. Maybe in 2015.

Now I’m sufficiently tired to go to bed and drop right off to sleep.

Good News!

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It wasn’t GOUT!

It was MSWTT & ISHTTOS! What a relief!

By the way … the picture in my last entry was not of my foot. I don’t know who’s it was, but I’m forever happy it isn’t mine.

For those of you who don’t read newspapers, or watch news on TV, let me fill you in on what’s happening …

It’s reported that Herman has been having an ongoing affair for the last 30-40 years. This, unfortunately, has put a large dent in Herman’s popularity factor which, of course, means less money for him. And, we all know that whoever gets the most donations is going to be the next president.  Personally, I kinda like Jimmy McMillan who’s running for the “Rent Is Too Damn High Party”. What’s not to like about that? Then there’s Tom Miller, a career flight attendant. I don’t know what airline he’s working for, but perhaps you’ve met him in your travels. Maybe he works, or worked, for American Airlines and new about the their pending bankruptcy. Hmmmm. Maybe he’s the one.

Then, there’s sports, of course. Aren’t you all happy that the NBA and Player’s Union has finally agreed that everyone is getting paid far too much? They should, as it was with Michael Jordan, be paid on ability, not potential.

Now, for those of you just dying to know what’s going on in Scappoose, Oregon, check here: http://www.spotlightnews.net/news/index.php. Exciting stuff.

If you’ve been looking for an old classmate, or loved one, maybe they’re here: http://www.co.columbia.or.us/sheriff/inmates/index.php. You just never know where people will turn up now days.

Ihope all is well with everyone out there. Send money if the mood strikes.

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you what MSWTT & ISHTTOS means … it means that “my shoes were too tight & I should have taken them off sooner”. I think we’ve all had that once or twice.

Got Gout?

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Today I was forced to spend the majority of my day visiting the VA Clinic, Goodwill, and Costco. Everything was going OK until about the 2nd hour in Costco when my left big toe began to hurt. A lot.  I threatened to leave, but it was strongly suggested that I just sit on one of the available couch displays until I was summoned to exit the store. So I did. I waited. We finally left and I tried not to limp too much because I didn’t want to embarrass my escort, but it was difficult. Once in the car I was able to remove my shoes for which my feet were extremely thankful. It was a pleasant ride home.

On the way, however, we had to stop at a NAPA Autoparts store so I could buy some pin striping tape. The guy had to dig around in their back room, but he found what I needed and I left happy. It’s complicated, or I would explain … actually, it’s not complicated. I needed the tape so I could create a grid on an erasable white board for our church attendees can sign up for one of the various tasks available to them as a volunteer service effort. Doing that isn’t popular at our church. How about yours?

Once we got home I limped into the house, after we test drove a Cadillac CTS Station Wagon – ever seen one of those? – and Diane liked it, but said it didn’t “make her knees buckle.” So, we were allowed to go on home in the Buick.

When I got in the house I finally removed my socks and got a look at my poor big toe. The pain and look is very much like gout, but I’m not sure that’s it because I’ve only had gout in my right foot before. Getting it in the left foot is new. We talked about what may have caused it and narrowed it down to, perhaps, the sausage muffin I had for breakfast, or the giant Costco Polish dog. We’re not sure which one of those prepared meats it was, but it’s surely one of them. So, just to solidify the situation we had pepperoni pizza for supper. Tomorrow morning is going to be interesting when I check my blood sugar.

At the VA this morning my doctor revealed that I had lost 13 pounds since my last visit to her. She didn’t say 13 pounds of “what”, and I didn’t pursue it. She was proud of me so I just left it at that. I think my last visit was in August, but I’m not sure. I don’t keep track of stuff like that.

Brother Jack called this afternoon to report on our friend Jeff K. He’s the one who’s been in a coma for about 1.5 weeks. They did a brain scan and reportedly could not detect any brain activity. So, I call for your positive thoughts and prayers be directed toward his family and friends to cope with all of this.

Peace to you all.

Thanksgiving is over.

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Greetings, Everyone.

Thanksgiving is over and it’s time to get back to work. For me, it’s a trip to the VA for some poking and prodding. I love that part. It’s a simple way for me to get people to touch me for free. Well, there’s a little co-pay, but it’s not much.Worth every penny.

I’ve been scouting around for a new platform to use for my blog and thought I’d give this one a try. Susan recommended it, so it must be a good one. I think I made a couple of entries on Blogger, but can’t remember. There’s an image of a turkey carcass floating around in my head that I associated with that site, but that doesn’t mean anything. The carcass may have an entirely different meaning for me tomorrow. Or in a couple of hours.

I’d tell you what I did last Friday, but I can’t remember.

Yesterday it was sunny and we had a mini-USS Cleveland reunion at our house. In attendance was Gary, Cindy, Brian, Susan, Diane, Ziva, Panzee, Ozzie, and me. Gary & Brian remember each other from their time aboard Cleveland, but I don’t remember either of them. Probably because they were snipes, working below the main deck, and I was a deck rating working above the main deck. Everyone in the Navy understands the unspoken division between the two. We were never allowed to talk with one another, and we were all fed a different times to ensure there was no contamination from one group to the other. Apparently it works really, really well. It’s nice to learn that this division doesn’t translate to relationships in civilian life.

Gary & Cindy live in Washington. Brian & Susan don’t. Neither do I or Diane. But, all four of us who don’t can see Washington from the towns we live in. What a treat that is.

After everyone left I gave Diane a hearing test and we learned that she really is deaf in her left ear. I’ve known that for a long time but she refuses to get her hearing checked. Instead, she’d rather punish me for not answering her questions when she has her deaf ear turned toward me. It probably doesn’t help that I usually don’t talk very loudly. I do that for a reason, of course. Since her ear is already damaged, for some reason, I don’t want to take the chance of making it worse by making loud noises. So, I talk softly. Sometimes I just move my lips when she’s looking at me but that seems to make her angry. Thankfully, I can still outrun her and after 30-40 feet I forget why I’m running and she forgets why she’s chasing me. The dogs love conversations like that.

We hope everyone had a wonderful, safe Thanksgiving weekend, and that the turkey was all consumed, or sent home with visitors, so you can eat something “new” tomorrow. Send good thoughts to an old family friend, Jeff K, who is in a coma at OHSU. It’s complicated.

Today we went to church, like normal, but that doesn’t seem to help keep me from getting into trouble. We even took Diane’s Mom, Jean, like normal. We were the last people out of the church, ensuring the doors were locked and the garbage removed, and everything. It was a little ominous, weather wise, when we left the house. Apparently all of the weathermen got together on Saturday and decided it was going to rain at 10:30am sharp and, by golly, it did. There were minor breaks in the downpour so we had to time it right, ensuring it was at it’s heaviest, before heading to the car. We made it home safe and dry, then Diane made me and Jean exit the vehicle before she drove it into the garage. Thankfully, it wasn’t raining very hard at the time, so it wasn’t bad.

We heated up a mess of leftovers that included turkey, chili, baked potatoes, dressing, and salad. I had everything but potatoes and salad. I also had cheese and crackers, and a glass of expired milk. After feeding the milk to me, Diane reported that the date on the bottle indicated it should have been consumed by November 18th. Not too bad, but it suddenly tasted awful and gave me a stomach ache.

Jack & Wynette stopped by for a while on their way home from a funeral in Longview. We had a nice visit and it was good to see them, as always. Wynette’s letting her hair grow long. Looks great. Jack reported that he and Wynette have spent a lot of time, lately, looking for bras. It wasn’t immediately clear who they were for so I found it very informative. I’ve been thinking about looking for bras, myself. Diane doesn’t approve, telling me I don’t need one. In self defense, I never said I was going to buy one. I just wanted to look for one.

I learned that Jack’s hands are a C cup. I also learned that mermaids wear sea-shells because b-shells are too small, and d-shells are too big. I never knew that. I’m always learning new stuff from Jack. I always look forward to seeing those two.

Now it’s dark and nearing time for me to go to bed. We need to leave in before 7am in the morning to make sure I’m at the VA by 8am. It’s a long drive but, since I’m not allowed to sit behind the steering wheel, I can sleep all the way over. And all the way home. Which I probably will.