Time For Resolutions

Greetings All … Christmas is over and the time is near for everyone to make their resolutions for the New Year. Personally, I’m going to adopt Jack’s methodology for making these commitments that are ready-made to be broken. He makes it simple. Just commit to things you do every day, like

  • I will not gain 125 pounds this year
  • I will do everything Diane tells me to do in the order I remember
  • I will never answer the door naked (again)
  • I will not use plug-in power tools without supervision

Stuff like that. Easy, isn’t it? I could never think of anything before Jack told me this secret. I hope he doesn’t mind that I’ve shared it with you.

Our Christmas was very calm and peaceful and we enjoyed it a great deal. Diane got me lots of really neat things, like T-Shirts. One says “I really do know everything. I just remember it all at once”, and another that says “I have a million excuses. Which one would you like to hear”. Now, I suppose I could take exception to the last one because it hints that I’ve done something for which I need an excuse to justify what I’ve done. Or that I need an excuse to keep from getting into trouble. Regarding that, it’s been a painful life-lesson that no excuse can keep you from getting into trouble when thoughts shoot directly out of your mouth into the closest available ear, without transiting the common sense filter found in most brains. It’s really a good idea to form your thoughts first. Unfortunately, for Jerrie, his thoughts usually don’t make much sense until he actually articulates them. As he hears the words fall into place, his thoughts take on meaning but he doesn’t get the full picture until the last word is uttered … “uttered” – sounds like part of a cow, doesn’t it? … then, it’s just too late for him.

I made fudge on Sunday. I finally found it today in the garage where Diane hid it from me. Apparently I’m not allowed to eat very much of it at one time. But, it’s really good. It’s called Fantasy Fudge. The formula is on the jar of marshmallow puffy stuff that you stir into the mixture. I say that like it’s easy, but it’s not because it’s difficult to get it out of the jar in a timely matter. It’s very sticky stuff, and I double the formula. It’s made with six (6) cups of sugar, one (1) can of condensed milk, all of the chocolate chips you can find in the cupboard, two (2) jars of marshmallow puffy stuff, three (3) sticks of butter, and two (2) pounds of walnuts. You must boil the sugar, milk and butter for 10 minutes, or until it attains a temperature of about 400 degrees. It’s actually only 234 degrees, but feels like 400 when it drips on you. A candy thermometer helps determine when it’s done, but dropping it into the mixture complicates reading exactly what the temperature is. I know this is true and learned that candy thermometers do not float. You’d think they would but, no, they just sink right to the bottom which skews the reading because it’s too close to the burner. So, I just guessed.

All of the kids and kidlets showed up and we had a great time. Jerrie Anne got a cute little deer suit. She cried when Jennie put it on her. Gilligan and Baylee got dance outfits which they really loved. They cried when they had to take them off so they could put warm clothes on to go home. Daniel, Jennifer, Cedric, Lydia, and Jeran got clothes, too. I don’t remember any of them crying, though. Clothes seemed to be the theme this year. So, of course, I didn’t get any for Diane this year. Figures.

I’m a crappy shopper. I admit it. I’m just bad at it. Most of the things I buy are necessary, especially if it’s a tool of some kind. Planning ahead for shopping just doesn’t work for me. I could make a list, which I’ve done, but once I get into a store the list is quickly forgotten once I get a good look at all the new shiny stuff. At that point, the impulse-buying gene engages, by-passing the common sense filter mentioned earlier. That isn’t a complaint, by the way, I’ve become the owner of some pretty nifty things that would have withered away on some store’s shelves had I put even a little thought into need vs. want. Diane’s received some interesting things as a result of this, too. Many of them she found distasteful resulting in a return trip to the store for a refund. That brings up an important point … never shop in a store that doesn’t have a now questions asked refund policy.

I must quit for tonight. The cemetery board is meeting in 20 minutes, and I’m on the board.

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