Old Toilet Paper Rolls, Shower Nozzles, Urinals, and Other Stuff

I’ve always had a penchant for endowing inanimate objects with sentient emotions and feelings. I don’t know why, I just do.

This morning I discovered that my toilet paper roll was down to the last few sheets. As I was about to throw it away I wondered what it must be like for them, being stuck on a small cardboard tube for months on end, buried beneath layers and layers of siblings who they know will find the light of day long before they do, and who will find release in the sacred bowl of water, to be recycled into nature. Then, as they bask briefly in the light, perhaps they reconsider and decide that maybe the sacred bowl of water isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s heard rumors, and little toilet paper screams, as it’s siblings were swept away, never to be seen again. Maybe it’s OK to be tossed in the dry recycle bin and spend what little time they have left basking in the light. Consider this when you reach the end of your roll.

Then there’s the shower head … do you think the water coming out of it is from it’s nose or mouth? Either way, do you think it hurts them if you get the water too hot? Does it get lonely if  you don’t use it? When it drips, is it sad and crying, or does it just drip because it’s old?

How about urinals? What do they think about while hanging on tha wall with their mouth wide open just waiting for some guy to come along and, well, you know, relieve himself into the back of it’s throat? What kind of life is that? Probably OK, since that’s their purpose, but do you suppose they gargle in the middle of the night? Maybe that’s what it’s doing when you press the “Please Flush” handle. Maybe it should be “Please Gargle”.

The worst is toilets. I won’t even go there because with the previous thoughts in your head I’m sure you’re imagining all kinds of things right now. I’ll just say that they at least have the capability, with help, to close their mouths once in a while. That’s got to be at least a little bit of relief.

I explained to Diane what this was going to be about and she wasn’t pleased so I’m sure I’ll hear about this.

Today I put the carburetor back on the truck and it started without blowing up so I won’t have to go back to the doctor right away. It’s only bolted down with three bolts for reasons explained yesterday. It may remain that way for the rest of it’s life. After I did that I reattached the gas tank to the old D22 and am taking a break from the 90 degree heat before connecting the gas lines. When that’s done I’ll go get some gas and dump it in the main tank and see what I can do about getting it to start.

Sure hope it doesn’t blow up. If it does I’ll probably have to go back to the doctor anyway. Diane will insist.

Softball, Ospreys, and a Quadrajet Carburetor

The fun-filled weekend is over and we made it through another Monday. Unlike before I retired, Mondays are perfectly OK with me. I can deal with them much better now. Monday’s are actually just like Sundays. We just don’t go to church.

I needed to add an addendum to the rant from yesterday where I cried that river about bad calls, and such. It’s mostly about Lydia and Jennifer who, after all that activity, made it back to town just in time to assume their 12 hour shift at the fireworks stand that is sponsoring the high school girls soccer team. Lydia is playing when she starts high school next year. Wow! High School. Wow! Jeran’s in the 8th grade. Wow! Cedric is a sophomore. Wow! He’s 16 and doesn’t care if he drives or not! Wow!

The deal with the fireworks stand is that it must be ‘manned’, or ‘womaned’, 24 hours a day for security purposes. So, that’s where Lydia & Jennifer spent last night, from 9pm on. For both of them, the fun didn’t end until this afternoon, after VBS at their church. Jennifer teaches and Lydia is a counselor for what they call Pacific Camp. I think that’s correct. I’ll be alerted if it isn’t. For sure. Needless to say, they were both very tired this afternoon. Lydia fell asleep while laying on the floor painting her nails.

While at the games in Albany, we spied a nest on top of a couple of light poles for the field. In this one I caught an Osprey female and at least two youngsters. Before it was brought to my attention, the female flew in with a fish for the little raptors. They eat well from the nearby Willamette River.

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If you’ve heard about the rifles raffled off for the St. Helens softball program, you might enjoy is this one …

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For the tournament, the girls were allowed to put whatever they wanted on their jerseys. This is Abby, and her initials are AR. Yes, it was intentional on her part to point out the AR-15 association. I asked. Kinda cool, I thought. Lydia put “Walnut” on hers because that’s one of her nicknames. Another girl had “Peanut” because she’s the smallest on the team. Some actually used their real names, too. They had fun with it.

Today I decided to get a carburetor kit for the pickup’s Rochester Quadrajet. It’s been around a while and I thought putting some new parts and gaskets in it might perk it up a little.

So, I disconnected all the hoses, linkage, and wires then went to remove the four mounting bolts. I discovered that three of them were only about finger tight, and the other one broke off just about flush with the intake manifold. It was a “Hmmmmmm” moment for me and caused me to sit and mull things over for a while before I figured a course of action. For sure I needed a bolt extractor tool, which I found at ACE. I also needed a part for the PT to eliminate a rattle in the rear. I got that at Carquest along with the carb tune up kit.

back at the pickup, I drilled out the center of the broken bolt, per instructions, then hammered the extractor into the hole. When I turned it, after soaking it with liquid wrench, the extractor broke off. Fortunately, I had another one, just a bit bigger, so I enlarged the hole hammered in the new one. I hammered it in really good, to the point where my 1/4 socket wouldn’t fit because I’d flattened the top. So, I meticulously filed the offending flare off the top to the point where I could just feel the socket catch the corners. Then I hammered the socket onto the extractor.

When I finally got to the point where I could work the ratchet, the bigger extractor also broke. The first broken extractor came out of the hole pretty easily the first time, but not the second time. It’s sticking above the intake manifold about a 1/4″. I figure that since the broken bolt was the only thing holding the carb in place before I started this evolution, that I could just eliminate that offending hole and secure the other three. Then it would be three times as secure before I started. So, I’m not too worried about the broken bolt at this point.

Thinking I would move along with the project, I took the carburetor out back and took all the screws out of the top that held it together. Then I tried to get it apart. I couldn’t do it. I suppose with a hammer and my screwdriver I could have accomplished that seemingly simple task, but I just wasn’t up to it. Whoever put it together last time must have glued everything together.

I’m to the point now that I think, considering how things went, that I could just set the carb on the engine and it would work just fine without any of those bolts that hold it together and hold it down. Maybe I’ll try that just for fun to see what happens. Maybe not.

At this point, the carb is back together and I’m just going to put it back on after I figure out what to do about the broken extractor. Maybe I’ll get my torch out to heat it up and see what happens. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I need to burn all the gas off the top of the engine that I spilled when disconnecting the fuel line anyway.

I’ll let you know how that goes. Maybe from the hospital.

Good thing I’m insured, huh?

Chaos for Khaos

OK, team. The day started out just great with an 11-2 win at the 10am game. Then a short break before beginning their sixth game of this weekend at noon. I know, for some of the hardcore softball Mom’s and Dad’s out there, that doesn’t sound too tough, but by noon it was around 91 degrees and the second team they played today had only played 3 games all weekend. Interesting.

I’ll just give you a few pictures so you can get an idea of how the second game went from the perspective of the umpires.

Abby stealing second.

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Ball bobbled just before Abby hit the bag.

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Base ump called her out and told our coach that she slid too early.

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What does that even mean. Is that really a rule? These pictures covered about 1 second of time in that game.

Another really bad judgement call was by the home plate ump. It was a passed ball for the catcher so our runner was sent home from third. The catcher got the ball to the pitcher about the same time our runner slid and collided with the pitcher. The pitchers mitt was on the ground under our runner and the ball came out of her glove. This was visible to everyone on our team, but not the ump who was on the other side of the play. He stood there for about five seconds, without moving around to see what was going on, enough time for the pitcher to pick the ball up and bring her mitt out for the ump who then called our runner out. That was about the fifth inning and would have given us a 2-0 lead.

There was an uproar from everyone on our side which resulted in admonishment from the home plate umpire that we weren’t allowed to question his calls. Even bad ones, apparently.

The game went to the bottom of the seventh inning where the opposing team scored two runs and the game was over, 2-1.

Now that I’ve said all that, ensuring that you just KNOW I’m a whinnie loser, let me add this. Our girls team is not a tournament team. They are a composite group of selected players from two different recreation teams in St. Helens. All the other teams who played this weekend are tournament teams and our girls beat three of them quite handily. They held the last team, an all-star team, scoreless for 6 innings.

I understand that the umps can only call what they see, but sometimes you just have to wonder if there isn’t a little bias going on. A little lack of effort to “get it right.” Know what I mean. Of course, the same is true for all sports where judgement calls can sway the course of a game.

Gotta quit now. Sorry for ranting. Please forgive me. The girls played just great and we’re proud of them. An, honestly, had those bad calls been against the other team, I would have honestly commented on decision. It wouldn’t have changed anything for them, just as it didn’t for our girls.

Team Khaos in Albany

Today was brutal. Both for the girls on Team Khaos and for those who came to watch. The first game was at noon, right about when the temperature hit 112 degrees, then continued through to evening with the last game ending about 9:30 pm. They played four games. Won the first, then lost the second which put them into the losers bracket. Then they lost the third and won the fourth. Weird brackets. With the final win they continue playing tomorrow starting at 10:00 am. Even with the two loses they have a chance to win the whole thing with four wins tomorrow. The two losses today were in the heat of the day and the girls were just drained. The first three games were back-to-back-to-back – 15 minutes between games that lasted an hour and 45 minutes each.

After the third game they got a short break during which they ate, finally, then had a chance to play in the pool and unwind a little. The result was astounding as they ripped the last team 9-0. So, they are going into tomorrow with a positive attitude that could yield results a lot different from today’s.

Daniel and I kept the scoreboard current during the first three games. It was in the outfield and totally in the sun. So, I’m burned nicely, although Dan did the lion’s share of the work.

It’s 10:30 pm and time for bed so I’m quitting.

Oh … it wasn’t really 112 degrees. Just felt like it. I think it was more like 90 or so, but that’s hot to someone who’s really comfortable at 60 degrees. Know what I mean?

Softball, I-5, Heat, and Albany

So, here we are in Albany, Oregon. That’s about 100 miles south of St. Helens. Normally that equates to about a 2 hour drive on the freeway. Then, consider that today is Friday,  next week is 4th of July, our trip south was directly through the heart of Portland, and everyone in town was hell-bent on getting out of town. Oh, ya. We didn’t leave home until after 3 pm, ensuring we would hit the big city at rush hour.

Now, I know you folks on the East Coast can’t imagine that traffic through Portland could possibly be as bad as, say, Boston, or Hartford, but it can. Really, it can. Rush hour in every large city is the same, the world over. Some cities just have more lanes of it. Portland only has 4 lanes each way, not as big as many cities, but congested just the same. I think there are a special breed of people who are bred specifically to make everyone else’s life in a traffic jam just a little more miserable, or to add that little element of excitement making those around them wonder if this is the day they’re going to die.

For me it was not a problem because I don’t have to contend with those drivers, or get caught up in the moment when someone makes a foolish pass, or cuts me off, because I’m not driving. Diane won’t let me, as many of you know. I’m a professional passenger everywhere I  go, unless it’s down the hill from home to ACE and back. Maybe a trip to Warren for something, but no long trips. That’s fine by me. Because of my diminished status, I get to navigate and just sit in my seat. I’m pretty good at both of those, except when I get my arm in front of the right side rear view mirror at the exact moment Diane wants to look at it.

Thankfully, the worst traffic was heading North on I-5, so we found the trip better than we thought it would be. Still, the two-hour trip took us about 2.5 hours. Not a bad delay.

The temperature, in case you’re wondering, made it up to 94 as we left Portland, but the weather folks will only claim 85. Silly. They only count the temperatures at airports, not on the freeways.  Does that make sense? I think not. In Portland’s case, the airport is right next to the Columbia River so it’s always going to be cooler there. Silly.

We’re in Albany, as you may recall, because Lydia is playing in the ASA state tournament for 14U teams. We arrived at our Super 8 Motel hungry, so checked in and headed directly out for dinner at Sizzler. It wasn’t the best dinner we’ve ever had, but not the worst, either. Jennifer, however, suffered from the two bites of ice cream she had. Lactose intolerance is a terrible affliction. Diane has it, too. Not fun.

Once back at the motel, Diane and Jennifer decided it was time to head for K-Mart for some needed items. The kids were playing in the pool so I went down to watch and enjoy some fresh air for a while. Sounded good at the time. The pool, however, is in an open patio which is surrounded by two wings of the motel. The result is a venue with sound reflective abilities that rival some really nice music halls. In this case, however, the source of audio wasn’t music, but the excited laughter of five kids playing Marco Polo. I only knew four of them so attempted to keep my corrective nature in check, letting them play and make noise. It was just fine for about an hour, then an entire herd of small, softball playing girls descended on the pool causing the noise level to increase dramatically. I can only equate it to what it must have been like to sit in front of one of those huge speakers at a Def Leopard concert. The main difference between the two was that I was experiencing the treble cleft far more than the bass cleft. Very skreechadelic, as Austin might say

At last count there were about 25 kids in the pool so no one was really swimming – there wasn’t enough room for anyone to attain a prone position. They all had to stand upright.

There was a negative aspect to yesterday’s trip that was brought to our attention around 9:30pm. I actually had it all documented, herein, then lost it when the WI-FI signal just “went away” making it impossible for the blog to auto save the data. Sad, but true. So, I’m going to have to rely on my notoriously bad memory for what happened.

It’s simple, really. After battling our way south to Albany, then digging in near the freeway, it was discovered Lydia was missing her sports bag containing all the things she will need today in order to fulfill her obligation to the team. No shoes, no glove, no helmet, no bat, no nothing. The bag containing those essential items normally resides in the back of the Walters’ SUV. That’s because 99.9% of the time someone driving that SUV takes Lydia to and from practice.

Except the last practice when the family SUV wasn’t available and Lydia got a ride with someone else. She took her bag to her room, and there it sat. All the way back in St. Helens.

So, as it was getting dark, Daniel headed north to retrieve the bag. The plan was for him to secure the bag, sleep at home, and return this morning in time for the first game at noon. We could only hope the hoards going north had dwindled to a navigable size so the trip was a reasonably easy one for him. As we were leaving Portland yesterday, the north bound jam was taking drivers at least a couple of hours to transit the 18 miles from Tigard to the Washington border Interstate Bridge. That’s really not unusual for that trip because people who live in Washington and work in Oregon do that every day. It was just compounded by the extra people heading north for cooler air.

Now it’s 10:15 Saturday morning. Diane are sitting next to the pool while the boys play in the pool and the hot tub. We’ve not heard from Daniel yet so don’t know his status. He was to meet Jennifer and Lydia at Bryant Park for the first game. Diane and I have 1.5 hours remaining to enjoy the shade before we must extricate ourselves and head for the park. We have umbrellas, so we’ll survive.

Just heard from Jennifer that Daniel made it back OK with the necessary equipment.

Now I’m stopping.

Painting, Gluing, Brakes, and Weeds

I’ve almost got Diane’s bathroom finished. As many of you know, it’s one of the projects I’ve been working on for the past 4 years, between other emergent projects that demand attention. Now all that’s left to do is apply a bit of touch-up paint and it’s done. I thought about sneaking into the room this morning to do that but figured I better wait until Diane is alert enough to realize there’s wet paint in there.

Yesterday, while various parts of the bathroom were drying from whatever kind of adhesive and/or paint I had applied, I did a brake job on Dan & Jen’s SUV. Yes, I can actually do stuff like that once in a while. Jeran helped me. It was a simple matter of replacing the front disc brake pads. Les Schwab wanted around $300 but I did it for $40. The difference is, Les Schwab insists on replacing perfectly good calipers so they can guarantee the work. Since I don’t guarantee anything, I didn’t have to do that. With Jeran’s help the entire process only took about an hour and the only injury I received was when I moved the work light and burned my arm. Apparently it gets really hot.

Then, after all that work, Diane made me go outside and pull weeds until I could barely stand. She didn’t make me do it, but seeing her out there all alone, pulling up grass, tugged at my little heart-strings making it necessary to participate. I’ve been wanting to hack down all the black berry bushes threatening to overrun the house, but just haven’t had time. Today I made time. My reward for the effort is scratched arms which made their presence known when I showered and rubbed soap in the wounds. That works almost as good as Old Spice for finding injuries.

At this moment in time I’m waiting for 0900 to roll around so I can go have coffee with the ‘guys’. After that we’re going to go repair a crack in the church parking lot that sprouted weeds. Since I still have two hours to go, I think I’ll just read my book for a while. I’ll set an alarm, too, because I know I’m going to fall asleep. I always do this early in the morning.

NCAA CWS on ESPN from OMAHA

The UCLA Bruins just won the College World Series by beating Mississippi State 8-0. The won yesterday, too, sweeping the Bulldogs in this best of three playoff. I’m reporting this even though I’m not normally a UCLA fan because they are a PAC-12 opponent of the Oregon State Beavers and the Oregon Ducks. Today, however, I had to root for them simply because they are a PAC-12 team. Gee. Another PAC-12 team, Arizona, won the CWS last year. I guess the PAC-12 is pretty darn good at end of season play. Sadly, Oregon State bowed out in the second round, attempting to make a run from the loser’s bracket.

Oh, well, there’s always next year.

I’m sure that the vast majority of you were hoping I’d say something about this, right?

Spooks, and a Marching Band

Greetings Earthlings.

To those of you who are quite sure about how the Earth works, I’m here to tell you. It works just fine. There are many suspect humans upon it, however, whose actions make me wonder how that is. They are like a wrench, thrown into the reduction gears of life, interrupting the normal flow events for multitudes in order to satisfy their own selfish whims.

Now, how about that guy who ran off to Hong Kong? Is he a traitor, or has he unleashed the hounds to ensure his brief moment of fame? Personally, I believe he is a traitor and should be held accountable for his crimes. That should go for the people who hired him, too. From what I’ve read, he’s got a pretty sketchy background for someone hired by the CIA, then by a contractor who apparently had lots of access to sneaky secrets. With his history of quitting school, and jobs, he’d have a very difficult time finding any kind of meaningful work at most reputable places. Reportedly, when he quite the CIA it was for the purpose of getting a job with the contractor so he could work at NSA and gather his secrets to share. He only worked there for three months and his salary was, reports say, $122,000 annually. Not bad for a quitter. I can only surmise that neither the CIA nor the contractor did much of a background check on him.

Enough serious stuff …

Today it rained all day. Again. A friend of ours is scheduled to head for Calgary with the old Miller Beer One More Time Around Marching Band. They are a NW favorite, marching in parades all over the place. Miller Beer no longer sponsors them, but I still call them that. They always play “Louie Louie”. Always. It’s fun to watch them because the band is composed of ‘anyone’ who can play an instrument and walk. They are pretty good, too. Our friend, the church organist, is a baton twirler with the band. Perhaps some of you have seen the band in one parade or another.

Diane just told me it’s 11:30 pm and time for bed, so I have to quit.

Good News, Bad News

The good news is that today Diane gave me a new, huge, jug of Dial body wash. She did this because I ran out of the bottle of Avon body wash she gave me last year. It was a big jug, too. I like the new jug because it’s got a pump. I don’t have to pick it up.

Now for the bad part … the label says it’s yogurt, vanilla honey. I’m here to tell you, that stuff doesn’t taste ANYTHING like yogurt, vanilla, OR honey. It’s just awful. I believe this is false advertising because there’s absolutely nothing on the label that warned that I couldn’t  eat it.

But there’s more good news … it cleans my skin nicely, and I do believe my tongue is a lot softer.

Happy 1st Day of Summer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It’s an M&M evening here in Oregon. That would be for the Mountain & the Moon. These pictures were taken at 9:00 pm and it was much brighter out than the photos might lead you to believe. I still fairly light at almost 10:00 pm. Now the days will start getting shorter until, all too soon, it will be getting dark six hours sooner and we’ll all be dreaming about a day like today.

On June 23rd it gets even better because we’ll be treated to a supermoon, when the moon is at perigee, or its closest point to the earth this year. The next time that will happen is August next year.

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Pretty, huh? No matter how many times I see the mountain, it still captures my full attention.

How about you?