I know this person who is essential to successful elections in Columbia County Oregon. I’ve known this person a long time and this person, and her semi-sister-in-law, are vital to the successful completion of any ballot issues submitted to Columbia Counter voters for resolution.

The group of people surrounding this person, and her SSIL, are very supportive of them, allowing them to return for all the voting events. Actually, they insist they return for all the events. It makes me wonder if they are the only two who can count. I know that’s not true, of course.

This person went to count ballots today and I was required to make and deliver lunch at precisely 12:30 pm. With that clue you have no doubt surmised that you probably know this person, too. You do. It’s Jack’s first wife’s brother-in-law’s first wife. That’s a true statement.

I put the lunch, consiting of a tuna sandwich, chips, cheese, a cookie, apple juice, and a little note, into a small paper lunch bag on which I wrote her entire name in purple crayon so no one could steal it.

It either worked, or ballot counters are simply honest people.

Let’s hope so.

The bag was returned to the house once this person … oh, heck! It’s Diane. You know that, so no more pretense …

Here’s the bag. I covered her last name because I don’t use last names here and also so those who are unaware won’t know who she really is. The nose is for Nelda …