Flying Away

Posted on June 4, 2012 by Jerrie Cate

As I packed my things this morning, the finality of this journey came home to me. Though the family assured me that my presence was very meaningful to them all, I know for sure that I’m taking away more than I brought.

Thank you Ruth, Larry, Cheryl, Carol, Allen, Martin, Valerie, Susan, Sarah, Laura Laura, Heather, Jay, Justin, Alicia, Julie, Jeffrey, and Arianna for making me feel more important than I really am.

I’m humbled.

Now we must all go our own ways for a short time and heal from this loss. It’s an unfillable void in our lives, but time will round off the edges making it more tolerable. Really, it will. You all know this is true.

Now, about that last group photo of the girls … that’s going to be framed.

Love you all, and Thanks to my lovely bride for this opportunity. ILY

It Is Done

Posted on June 3, 2012 by Jerrie Cate

Today was an emotional drain on me because everything kind of cascaded to a close, and I wasn’t ready for it. Like fireworks … just when they’re at their best, they wink out.

Now, I don’t expect that kind of finality to this because I feel connected now, unlike I ever was in the past. Sure, we’re related, and all that, but it’s always been a long distant relationship that really didn’t require emotional involvement. We’re way beyond that, now, and I don’t regret a second of it.

The course of this day began relatively early, around 7am. With Ruth and I in the same room I feared there may be a logjam, relatively speaking, in the bathroom area, but that didn’t happen. We managed to co-habitate without a problem. We didn’t argue even one time. Actually, we rarely saw each other yesterday while she was with the wedding party, and by the time we got back to the room last night we were both pretty beat. She was out like a light. Neither of us took our cpap’s so it was a race to sleep before the other started snoring. She won, hands down, and really didn’t snore. I’m sure I did.

After rising, we went down to the eating area and rearranged all the tables into one long unit, then filled all the chairs. I think there were about 20 of us sitting there munching on waffles, bagels, sipping coffee and hot chocolate, and having a great time visiting.

Then it was time to depart. Cheryl, Allen, and Laura remained behind as the other seven of us headed back to Connecticut. Before getting too far, however, we stopped at a Dunkin Donuts for coffee – DD is the coffee place for this part of the world and I can see why. They are about half the price of Starbucks, and it’s pretty good coffee. Still, a Starbucks would be good once in a while. Guess I’m hooked on that franchise … that and my hazelnut creamer.

As on the trip over, I sat in the back as Sarah wielded her ambulance driving skills, getting us back to the house in fine shape. I spent most of my time editing yesterday’s blog entry, something I’ve never done in the past. Normally you get what I type on the first pass. But, I needed to ensure details were correct, and I added pictures as Diane requested.

Shortly after getting home, we had tuna sandwiches in order to prime our tastebuds for the BBQ steak and/or chicken that was being served up for supper. The rest of the family was coming back to attend in this gala event. Larry and I put the BBQ on the little back porch, from under the covered area, just as the first little pitter patter of rain started. After he got it going, it rained in earnest, and has been doing so pretty much the rest of the day. But, the steaks we cooked beautifully. Don’t know about the chicken, but it looked good. Sarah made the salad, and everyone else brought something to share. I didn’t bring anything except an appetite and apparently that was adequate.

It was an excellent meal filled with many conversations going on at the same time and made me feel right at home. There was a brief pause when Laura wanted to show us a video of Jeffrey, but her SD chip is Sony specific so I couldn’t display it on the iPad. So, in an inspirational move, I suggested we use Ruth’s laptop instead. It had a card reader.

So, as directed, Laura stuffed the card in the reader slot and in promptly disappeared for the same reason I couldn’t show it on the iPad. It was a brilliant move on my part and will be, no doubt, the source of a few stories about me and my technical prowess. Both Larry and I worked on it for a while and, at one point, I snapped off the end of a seam ripper that fell into the slot with the missing card. The seam ripper seemed like a good idea at the time because toothpicks didn’t work.

After making things worse, I backed away and left the rescue to Larry who managed to get the card, and the sharp pointy tip of the seam ripper out of the slot. Thankfully, the computer still works just fine.

Soon it was time for everyone to filter out and head home themselves. It was a sad moment for each of them, and sad for me because as each one departed, my sadness compounded. I’ve only been here a week, but it seems I’ve been here forever. It’s that comfortable. Perhaps if I was required to do something constructive, or meaningful, my tune might change, but I doubt it.

Now it’s time for me to stop and go to bed. My plane leaves at 2:30 tomorrow afternoon and I must be at the airport by 1pm. After getting up, that time will fly, I have no doubts.

I would add a picture, but do not have the energy to look through them right now. Since arriving, I’ve added about 3,000 pictures to my iPad. That includes all the wedding pictures taken from three cameras. Once, home, I’ll use my computer to make it right.

The Wedding

Standard | Posted on June 2, 2012 by Jerrie Cate

Today was the big day for Heather & Justin. It was also a sad day. Bittersweet for Ruth, for today would have been her and Lyle’s 40th wedding anniversary. But, I’m getting ahead of myself, because before all of that, we had to make the trip to Saratoga Springs.

We were up early, like 6:30 or so, I think. Not wanting to forget something potentially important, I put everything I owned into a small Target bag, got my camera, and climbed into the back of Ruth’s Toyota. Sarah drove because I only had a vague notion of where we were going. We followed Larry and Valerie in their Mustang convertible, and Carol and Martin in their new BMW. We were a small parade of Connecticut vehicles winding our way through Massachusetts and NW past Albany, New York to Saratoga Springs … I already said that, didn’t I?

The trip went fairly quickly for me because I read my book on the iPad the entire way except for a couple of times when I was asked what the next exit was and which way to turn. Sarah did that because I had the GPS running on the iPad just for backup and they wanted confirmation that Larry and Valerie were doing it right. Easy trip.

When we got to the last exit, the GPS took us the wrong direction so we were about a mile off on the location of the hotel. I reset the stupid thing and we found it no problem the 2nd time. It’s a Comfort Inn. We got here pretty early because we had all the flowers for the wedding, and Ruth needed to get her portable steamer here to undo the wrinkles in the lady’s dresses. Once we got our stuff into the room, about 11:00 am, all the women disappeared so I just sat in the lobby waiting to see what was going to happen. Turns out, there wasn’t a lot going on in the lobby, and it was time to be hungry so I went to a Five Guys with Martin and we got hamburgers which we brought back to eat in the lobby. We also got a grilled chicken thing for Sarah. She wanted something healthy. Probably because she’s a nurse.

Time passed, I ate a few cookies at the registration desk, then people started filtering in to the lobby. I went outside and talked to some of the younger guests, and wedding party members, and explained how bad it is for them to smoke, which they already knew, then went back to the lobby. I initially thought is was going to be a pretty boring wait to tell the truth, but that was OK. Then new faces started showing up. I struck up a conversation with an older lady, with a crutch, to get the story on all the tattoos she was displaying. I’ve learned that every tattoo has meaning for those who get them. That’s true, mostly. Some folks get tattoos and don’t know it until the next morning when they take a shower and discover the new, and sometimes inappropriate, graphics adorning their previously unadorned bodies. How fun would that be?

Anyway. I got to visit with people I didn’t know and had cookies. Sometimes it just doesn’t get any better than that. I did participate in the evolution to move some cars to the Knights of Columbus lodge, about eleventy miles away, so we wouldn’t have to car pool back to the hotel. That’s because all the wedding girls road from the hotel in a Lincoln Navigator limo. I followed them in the Toyota. All by myself. Alone.

Pictures in hotel lobby, heading for the limo …

Arianna

Sarah with Arianna and Jeffrey David

Heather – the bride

Once we got to the lodge, things moved quickly. All the girls got inside and some guy, lined us all up in the lobby in the order we would enter. I was the only guy there who got to do it twice … once to deliver Ruth to her table, then again so Cheryl would have something to hang on to so she wouldn’t fall down in her new high heels. She held on real tight. I, of course, was dressed totally inappropriately because all the other guys were in suits, or a tuxes. Me? I wore jeans, my cowboy boots, my string tie, and a festive, light brown sport coat. It was the same outfit I wore on the plane to get here, and the same one I wore to the wake, and the funeral. Though it’s getting to be a bit gamey, no one seemed to mind. Cheryl even gave me my very own flower for my lapel. Nifty. It had a magnet to hold it in place, but I didn’t discover that until after the wedding when I was playing with it.

Once I delivered Cheryl to her table I sat down. Thankfully, Sarah was taking pictures with my camera so captured everyone entering the room. It was a gala affair and I was happy Sarah took the initiative to do that. Here’s what I looked like with Cheryl on my arm …

It was a nice ceremony. Very simple and elegant, conducted by a gentleman with very long hair. Once the vows were exchanged, the party began. First, it was a buffet dinner with light, soft background music provided by a real DJ parked in the corner. After the wedding party went to get their food, it was a buffet, the DJ started calling table numbers. We were at table 6, however, and didn’t want to wait, so we crashed the line. It was warranted, however, because Ruth needed to eat … me too … it had been a while since either of us had eaten anything (lobby cookies excluded) and we were getting weak. No one seemed to mind. The DJ even quit calling numbers and just turned everyone loose. It was chaos as everyone raced to get in line before everything was gone.

The food was very good … Italian. I only ate one plate full and quit. Diane would be proud of me. Then I sat there and watched all the young people dance until they got all sweaty. They were having a real good time. I got all sweaty just watching them. I realize that can be “taken” many ways, depending on the way your mind bends. Anyway, watching wore me right out. Little Arianna and Jeffrey David, the bridesmaid’s, Laura’s, children, who were the ring bearer and flower girl, were running and sliding across the floor having a good time. It was fun to watch and, again, made me sweaty just thinking about all that energy being expended without any evidence. Arianna (4) started with a white floor length dress but polished a great deal of the floor when she discovered she could take off running then drop to her knees and slide to a stop. Jeffrey was doing his six-year-old version of break dancing. It was exhausting.

Finally it was time for the cake, which was made out of lemon, red velvet, and chocolate cupcakes. Very cool. The only time I’ve seen that done before is by Jennifer, my favorite daughter, when she makes birthday cakes for the kidlets. Really a nice way to do large cakes. I ate two lemon ones.

Then the party started getting louder, and louder, interspersed with soft quiet music for slow dancing. During one of those moments, Cheryl came over and asked me to dance with her. We were the only ones on the floor for the entire song so it was pretty special for me. These kids (Larry, Carol, Cheryl, Susan, Heather, Laura, Sarah), and their husbands (Allen, Martin) and wife (Valerie), have all made me feel special the entire time I’ve been here. Kinda makes me want to plan another trip east in the not too distant future. I know Diane would love it.

Soon the music volume rose to the level determined by scientists to be that at which folks older than 58 were forced to leave the area. It’s like those high pitched devices used to keep rats out of your basement, or those whistles you put on your bumper so the deer know where to look before they get hit. So, we bid adieu to the bride and groom and headed back to the hotel. It was time. We were tired.

Here are a few random pictures. I don’t have any idea which ones they are because in the blog it just a bunch of HTML coding that I only kinda understand.

Dr. Allen Gouse, the Dad

Sarah and Susan

Bridesmaids

Thanks to all who are following this journey. I appreciate your comments.

The Lull Before The Wedding

Standard | Posted on June 1, 2012 by Jerrie Cate

Today was a free day for Ruth and me because most of the family left for Saratoga Springs, near Ballston Spa, for the wedding early this morning. The plan is for the remainder of us to head that direction before 9am tomorrow. We’re taking the flowers and will leave as soon as they arrive. The hope is that we can get the flowers delivered earlier so we can leave earlier because Ruth wants to steam the dresses of the wedding party prior to pictures. Valerie is taking the girly pictures of the preparation, and Larry is doing the guys. I’m doing candid shots of everyone else.

Travel arrangements are iffy, at this point, because Ruth’s car currently has five passengers (Ruth, Martin, Carol, Sarah, and me) in addition to whatever luggage is needed, and all the flowers. Could be a little crowded, so I’m guessing Carol and Martin will drive their Beemer over so there will be room for everyone. Whatever is decided will be reported in tomorrow’s blog. One thing is for sure, we’re glad to be here, and not there right now. Sarah and Ruth have fielded many calls throughout the day from Cheryl about details, and they both said it sounds like a mad house there, What fun. Ruth really got worn out as the afternoon departed, and tried to use the TV remote to call someone.

Here, it was nice and quiet. Ruth went to the doc for a followup and was told things are looking much better and that she can have a sip of champaign tomorrow, but no more. Kinda like just drape her tongue in a glass is all.

Before she left the house, I went to back Lyle’s van out of the garage so I could liberate the mower, but the van wouldn’t start. Sounded like a weak battery. I called AAA and they showed up in about 10 minutes and discovered that one of the cells was bad. It had a charge, but not enough amps to kick the starter. As Ruth dashed to Carol’s car she paid for the new battery and I filled out the paperwork as she drove away. So, it cost $122 to get the mower out of the garage this morning. But, the van works fine, now.

I used Ruth’s new John Deere walk behind the mower and did the entire lawn in about 3 hours. I tried wearing my cowboy boots but that didn’t work so well so I decided to go barefoot. I rolled up my jeans and plodded along, stepping on various sharp things in the yard, but not bad enough to draw blood. It just hurt a little and made me limp differently than I normally do. I got over it.

Here’s what the mowed lawn looks like.

Nice job, huh? It’s a HUGE yard.

When I was done my feet were predictably green so I shook off as much grass as I could and went directly to the bath tub. Sitting on the edge, I scrubbed my feet until the water turned clear, then dried them off and went to take a break. About then, Ruth returned with good news from her doc’s appointment with the good news. She had a soda in her hand which was a sure indicator she’d had something to eat. All I had to that point was the eggs, bacon and toast that Ruth forced me to cook this morning. Since I’m not used to big breakfasts, it stayed with me for a long time. Knowing I should, I made a sandwich, using the remainder of the ham and provolone cheese. It was good.

Larry showed up sometime in the afternoon and tilled Lyle’s garden, power washed the back porch, then planted bunch of vegetables in the newly tilled garden. It looks great. Lyle’s proud.

Sarah arrived in the afternoon, too, to check on Ruth and visit. At one point we three trekked off to Target to get a prescription for Ruth, and a travel shave cream thing for me. I also got a pair of shorts, all by myself. And they fit. They’re black and match my black long sleeved peace sign shirt nicely. That’s what I’m wearing for the trip tomorrow.

After a nice Chinese dinner, which was ordered from the house, and picked up by Valerie, we visited for a while, fielded frantic calls from Saratoga Springs regarding the wedding, one of which was actually for me. Cheryl already told me that she wants me to wear Lyle’s boutonniere, and ride in the limo with the wedding party, and tonight she asked me to walk her down the isle. What an honor. The only stipulation was that I had “to lose the cowboy hat.” Again, I’m honored. I’ll probably cry, and everything, because it will remind me of walking Jennie down the isle. She held my hand that day which was very special to me. And she knows it.

Time to quit and go to bed because we’re up early and I’ve been sleeping almost 8 hours a night. That’s unusual for me, but, then, there are no animals here to sound the alarm when bladders bulge.

Sweet dreams to all, and thanks to those of you who make nice comments. They are appreciated a great deal.