Teaching Dogs New Tricks

It started snowing yesterday morning and has been snowing for weeks, now. The prediction for accumulation was from 2-3 inches, depending where you happened to be at any given time, but we only have about a foot. Before it got too bad, I thought I’d take the dogs into the yard and teach them how to spell their name in the snow. Turns out they don’t know how to spell, at all. So, I just gave up and let them scribble a bit. Maybe you can figure out what they were attempting to share.

Diane felt the need to make a cake for a memorial service scheduled for tomorrow at church. To continue being a church lady, she MUST bake a cake for every memorial service, whether or not she knows the person being memorialized. In this case, however, we know him. So, it will be an extra special cake.

The trip into town went without mishap. The only roads with snow on them are in front of our house. It will never be plowed because it’s not a city street, and it’s a dead end. So, the only way our street becomes passable is when someone drives on it. Usually, that’s George, a neighbor, who runs his 4-wheel drive rig up and down the street. He didn’t have to do that today, however, because the temperature went up to about 34 and the falling snow turned to really, really heavy snowflakes. The noise they made when they hit the snow on the ground was incredible, and it quickly pounded the accumulation down to an inch or so.

Tonight it’s going to freeze, then snow all night. Tomorrow’s commute is going to  be a ton of fun to watch. I wish for all of them to be safe in their journey. Still, the State Troopers will be non-stop busy catering to the idiots who think they’re bullet proof.

Our little dog, Ozzie, isn’t himself lately. He’s being terribly antisocial, hiding out in his kennel, and rarely going outside. I thought he might be constipated and thought about giving him some mineral oil. Instead, we took him to the vet for a checkup where they took X-rays, poked & prodded him a little, and told us he was constipated. The doc said to give him mineral oil for a few days and to bring him back if things didn’t improve. Then they charged us $157 for the service. Hmmmm. Maybe I should have been a vet.

Ozzie’s problem is also psychological. As I said, he hangs out in his kennel pretty much all the time, never plays any more, and doesn’t talk to us about what’s troubling him. We plead with him to let us know what’s going on but he just stares at us with his glossed over eyes, looking through us, not at us. We’re beginning to think he has a drug problem, but can’t find any evidence of that in his kennel. All we can do is focus on his behavior. I considered gathering a group of his friend to have an intervention, but I’m afraid he might bite someone. Lately he’s prone to being a little gnarly and growly. Maybe if I was constipated like him, I’d be a little gnarly and growly, too. Might even bite someone.

I’m waiting for all that mineral oil to kick in and evacuate Ozzie’s innards. I have this vision of all 6 pounds of him humped up in the yard for the big moment. When it happens, the discharge is so powerful that it propels his rear into the air and his nose into the snow. I’m keeping the video camera handy, just in case.

I hope everyone is staying safe and warm.

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