Letters to Diane – 26

Hi Hon,

It’s Christmas Eve, but it just doesn’t have the zing it used to have. Today is more like, well, Wednesday for me. Might be because today is Wednesday. I guess the Holiday Spirit just hasn’t touched me yet. I have a feeling this feeling will take a long time to go back to some semblance of normal. No, it will never be normal. New Normal, but never just normal. Without you nothing is normal.

Tonight, Max and I will be alone because Lydia is staying with her family with all the brothers, like she does every year. I think that’s just great and I know she’ll have fun and be safe. Max and I will be just fine.

I went to the Walters home at 1630 for spaghetti supper. We visited until it was time for the 1800 service at Grace Baptist Church. Lydia and Jeran participated in the service, so it was a family affair. Everyone was there, including Jerad. After the service we all returned to the Walters home to watch the children open some of their presents before going to the 2100 service at Bethany.

Jennifer broke all the rules because she bought me three presents and she wasn’t supposed to buy anything. We drew names. She gave me a huge mahjong set that weighs about 50 lbs. That thing is heavy. So now I have to learn how to play the game properly instead of like I do on the computer. I’m pretty sure the rules are different. Jennie wants to play to so we’ll learn together. That will be fun. It’s probably a game you would like.

The services at Grace and Bethany were both good and well attended. The Littles got up and danced like crazy with the hymns and had a good time. At Bethany I was happy to see a lot of people we’ve missed over the years, especially Brooke and Heather, Al and Vonna’s daughters. They hadn’t heard the news that you are palling around with Al up there somewhere, so we had a nice visit after service. We were the last ones to leave. Jennie mentioned on the way out that we would have been the last ones out if you had been with us because you would have made sure the doors were locked, the lights were off, and the furnace was turned down. We were always the last ones out, weren’t we? It was fitting and we didn’t mind.

I got home a little after 2200 and Max met me at the front door as I struggled to get in the house with that really heavy mahjong set. He usually makes me look for him when he’s been alone for a while. He made it clear that I needed to take him out and I was ready for him. I got his harness, but he met me at the patio door with the primer treat, I gave him before leaving, hanging from his mouth. This was a message that he didn’t really want a walk. He just wanted to go outside to pee and bury his treat. I’m not really sure what burying those treats are all about.

I took the treat from him, and we went out back off leash and he was fine. I apparently read his mind because he peed and went right back to the door. When we got inside, I gave him the treat and he promptly ate it. Now all he has to do is eat the bowl full of turkey he got for dinner.

Right now, it’s 2330 and I’m tired. Time for bed. No need to get up early for us except Jeff visited while I was out and left gifts for me and Lydia. I think I’ll make him a batch of fudge tomorrow just for fun.

I’m going to stop now and go to bed.

I still love you, just like I always will.

G’nite.

Letters to Diane – 24

Good Evening, Sweetheart,

It’s 2200, an hour past my bedtime. That’s not entirely true because I don’t really have a bedtime. I’m sure Lydia would agree. She and Sanchez spent most of the evening dying a dress black for Lydia to wear for her part in a Christmas Eve service at their church. I’ve been told that both she and Jeran have speaking parts so I may have to go to them as well as Bethany’s 2100 service. The Walters family plans to attend Bethany’s, too so it’s going to be a busy day for everyone.

Today there were 30 people in church at Bethany and we had over two full settings for communion. That hasn’t happened in a long time. It was truly good to see all those folks.

After that I came home to rest and walk Max. I took him down to the river because he really likes it down there. Sadly, I forgot to bring his leash, so we had to go back home. He’s almost to the point where he will stay with me off leash, but that’s just in the back yard. He’s really good with me, there. I don’t quite trust him to be that good in a busy environment. I wound up taking him around our block because the 3rd Sunday Lunch scheduled for 1500.

I made fudge for my contribution for lunch. That was Jennie’s suggestion. I probably mentioned that yesterday. It’s really good. Jennie was happy.

Lunch was excellent. Jen made pulled pork and sourdough bread. It was pretty awesome, and I ate more than my share. After everyone was done eating we had our gift exchange. It was loud and a lot of fun as Siah got everyone’s attention so he could pass out the gifts. As you know, we drew names. I got Herther and Jennie got me.

After all the gifts were in place the wrapping started, one at a time beginning with the youngest. So, Siah started the festivities. He did a great job.

I got Heather a very busy puzzle to hopefully challenge her prowess at the puzzle table. I also got her two candles – one smelled like dinner rolls and the other was something with chocolate. As it turned out, Baylee’s name didn’t get drawn because it would have been Tiana to do it and she wasn’t there. So, the candles went to Baylee. She was very happy about that. Jennie got me a mini art supply set which means I’ll have to get busy painting. Jeff got one, too. Her thought was that since I’ve had painting dates with her on a number of evenings, I could have some daytime art dates with Jeff when time permits. I think that’s a stellar idea. Now we just have to make it happen.

People trickled out of the Walters’ home until all that was left was me and Lydia. She brought Sanchez along for the aforementioned dying project they did. Huh. How about that. I didn’t think “aforementioned” was a real word, but the spell checker seems to like it.

Now it’s late and time to dream of you. I’m disappointed that you don’t show up there more often. I really miss you. The bracelet you got for me helps a lot. Thanks again for that.

Good night.

ILY

Just me …

Letters to Diane – 23

Happy Birthday, My Love.

Jeff was over earlier this morning and we sang Happy Birthday for you. Then we both grabbed each other and cried for a while. I don’t know about Jeff, but for me, I’m still living in a fantasy zone where I’m sure you are just around the corner from me and in one of these moments I’m going to run right into you. I miss you so much that I have a hard time coping once in a while. I know this probably upsets you a little but I can’t help it.

Yesterday, Friday, was lost to me. I remember a moment where Jennie took me shopping for some stuff and Jeff borrowed the truck to transport a fridge for Gilligan. Or, maybe, the fridge was today.

The Oregon game was on today and you had it set to record. Thank you for that. Jennie brought the Littles over to watch the game and to add a few ornaments to the tree. She stayed until half-time when the kids started getting restless then carted them home. So, Max and I finished the game on our own. It was a good game. Oregon beat JMU 51-34. It could have been a lot worse for JMU but Oregon dropped their guard a little the second half and JMU took advantage.

Apparently, the wind blew a bit last night because there were lots of tree pieces all over the yard. Jeff raked them all up and took them up the hill to burn. Maybe that was yesterday. Hmmm. I’m thinking I need to write something every day but sometimes it’s just hard to get motivated to do anything. Walking Max is still a priority so he’s not missing his walks.

It’s almost 2130 now so I’m going to wrap this up. Tomorrow afternoon is the monthly family gathering at Jen and Dan’s. I made two batches of fudge for the masses. I ate a piece during the Oregon game and it’s really good.

You can stop by any time you want. I’m here most days and I’d love to see you. My beard is getting longer every day that you are away. I’ve made a vow that I won’t shave it off until you look me in the eye and tell me how ratty I look. So, you should keep that in mind.

Now, I’m going to bed.

ILY, Always

Letters to Diane – 22

Good afternoon, My Love.

It’s Thursday. I missed coffee with the guys this morning and it wasn’t an accident. I chose to take Max around the block before submitting myself to a physical effort involving loading up our trailer for a trip to Everette, Washington next Saturday. Chuck is the driver. He said he’d be leaving around 0400 so he could miss most of the traffic in Seattle. Makes sense to me.

When I got there at 1030, work was in progress by Larry, Lonnie, Chuck, and Kathry. Chris showed up with me. He’s a Scappoose policeman and I can only presume he’s the Chief because that’s what Larry and Lonnie called him. Nice guy. A short while later, Sheriff Pixely showed up. It was a quite a crew we had.

The trailer we loaded was about 20′ long and was hooked to Chuck’s pickup, ready for the trip north. It took us about an hour to load it which was pretty good. I don’t have any numbers about what we loaded, but Kathryn does. I’m not sure how the process works other than someone calls Kathryn and she rounds people up. You probably know more about it than I do.

It was a good way to finish the morning.

Then I went home and visited with Max for a while. I suspect he would like another walk so I’ll have to consider that. But first I must do some errands. Max can go so he will be happy. CRPUD is first to get our new water heater on the record so they can give us the rebate we earned. Then I might stop by Dairy Delish for a chocolate malt that Max has been whining about for a while.

Just kidding. Dogs aren’t allowed to eat chocolate. So, maybe I’ll get him a vanilla malt, instead.

I took a pickup load of Jennie’s clothes and donated them to the Iron Tribe Network facility located at the end of Shore Drive. The location name is deceptive because there’s no way to get to it from Shore Drive. That’s where the clothes you no long need went. They were very grateful. Jennie sent a couple bags of kids’ shoes.

I’ll leave this one here. I apparently lost my mind for a couple of days.

Love you

Letters to Diane – 21

Hi, Hon. It’s Wednesday, the 17th of December. It’s almost Christmas and that boggles my little head a bit.

It you’ve had time to look around the house you’d see that Jeff put up some really nice outdoor lights for us. They’re the kind we should have bought a long time ago. They are the permanent kind that never need to be removed. I bought two 100′ sections that wrap the house from the front corner of the carport to about halfway up the inside of the carport from the backside. Jeff did a good job.

You can be proud of Max because he’s getting more trustworthy all the time. I’m no longer fearful that he’ll head for the hills when I take him out before bed. Before going out we have a little talk and he just goes go the steps leading down to the shed and comes right back. I think I’ve mentioned this already, but I don’t care. It bears repeating. To make it even better, I took him down to the river thig afternoon and took his leash off for the walk around in the new section. He stayed right with me and showed me how much fun he had by lagging behind me as I walked, then running full out to catch up. He did that a few times. There wasn’t anyone else down there so he didn’t have anything to divert his attention from me. He got a record amount of uninterrupted sniffing while we were down there.

On the way home we stopped at Grocery Outlet to pick up a few things. Max wanted me to get him new treats but I told him he’d have to eat the old ones, first. He already knew that. We’ve had this talk before. He had a really good time walking all the aisles sniffing the entire bottom rows on both sides. He has yet to pee on anything in the store which really makes me happy because I can almost hear the announcement “cleanup on the dog food aisle.” If that happens, he knows he’ll never be allowed in that store again.

Lydia came home from work a little early today with a bad headache. She texted me to warn me, but I missed that so I was surprised when she popped in the front door. Until the garage door opener gets fixed she can’t use that the enter/exit. So, I guess I’ll have to bite the bullet on that and call in an expert. I can’t figure it out. Must be losing my touch. It’s easy to ignore it’s broken nature because there are two work arounds in the front and back doors. I suppose I could free up the laundry room door and make it 3 options.

I finally put up the folded clothes that were on my bed so I can move around a little at night. It’s been easy to ignore, too. I don’t need a lot of room unless Max decides he needs to sleep where I am. Normally he sleeps on either one of you night shirts, or your old dark blue robe. He likes either of them, as do I, because they smell like you. I’ll probably never wash them. Ever.

I think it’s time to quit. It’s almost 2000 and I woke up this morning around 0700. I woke up at 0700 but I didn’t get up until around 0900 when Daniel texted me.

He relayed a greeting from Nelda to me from one of his crew members who apparently saw her at a bazaar event somewhere in Vancouver. I misunderstood what actually happened and thought she may have called Dan by mistake, but I got that cleared up when I called her this afternoon.

She said she was as this event selling stuff and got to talking with one of the customers and learned that he worked for Intel at the Aloha Campus. Nelda quizzed him a little more and discovered that he worked for Daniel so she asked him to pass along a hello from Nelda to his boss’s wife’s father. Hence, the text which he sent mainly to confirm that Nelda is actually a person I know. I confirmed that she’s real and trustworthy.

Now it’s time to stop and start practicing going to sleep at a normal time. Lydia has been keeping me up really late. But, we’ve kind of developed a routine where we watch 2-3 episodes of a fun series, or maybe a movie or two. We’re watched some really bad movies lately.

If you can find a way. send me a photo of what the house looks like at night with the lights on.

Love you.

Letters to Diane – 18

Hi there.

Today is Tuesday and, yes, I’ve taken my pills. Well, actually I’ve only taken half of them. I’ll down the remainder later this afternoon. If I remember.

It’s raining cats and dogs here because an atmospheric river is passing over us. Has been for a couple of days. Here’s what it’s doing to the back yard.

Yup. It’s running pretty hard, making the trip to the Columbia River a quick one. I suspect getting to Astoria quickly is possible, too.

Max and I made our morning trip around the block a while ago. He kind of dictates our route by making it known to me which direction he wants to go. For instance, we’ll be walking down the sidewalk and he’ll see something on the other side of the street that insterests him. He stops, steps off the curb, and looks up at me with his little puppy-dog eyes waiting to see if I’m getting the message. While doing this, he does not pull on the leash, he just stands there waiting to see what I’m going to do.

Before committing to his wishes, we have a little discussion about why it’s necessary for us to make sure there no cars coming because I don’t want a flat dog. He seems to understand but I insist that he looks at me the entire time I’m explaining this to him.

Then we go. On the other side of the street is a large bush that he knows is a place where many dogs before him have left their messages. Sometimes it takes 10-15 minutes to decipher she was there before him. After leaving his response he turns with excitement and heads for the next bush. Turns out he knows all the dogs in the neighborhood so it takes a while to catch up on their activities.

Here’s something new:

The deer showed up and Jeff put them together. It had to be done outside because they are all coated with glitter. The little deer in front were put together in the house so there was litter everywhere. It’s been cleaned up, but it was a mess. Now all six of them live in the front yard. As soon as the photos show up in the ‘cloud’ I’ll show you. I suppose you could just fly by and look yourself, but I’ll send you photos anyway.

Hey! It showed up:

The annual Christmas parade has turned into quite an event last Saturday. This is the one where the group travel around the town accepting food gifts to help the food bank. The parade started on our street just this side of Meadow Park and eventually cruised by Daniel and Jennie’s home. I was invited to join them for the festivities on Matzen Street where many friends and family were gathered.

That’s Jennie holding Jasper back so he won’t get run over. Like all St. Helens’ parades, candy is thrown to the masses and the kids clean the street up. The only candy I got was a piece of bubble gum Lydia left on her chair. I chewed it gleefully.

I still haven’t solved the garage door opener problem. I finally gave up a couple days ago and just unplugged it. If it doesn’t magically resurrect its self when I plug it back in, I will have to give up a little of my masculine nature and call the buiilder for help. It’s very frustrating.

Terri is still sending me messages of encouragement and reminding me to take my pills. It’s nice to know people care.

I think this is enough for today. I miss you terribly even though I see you everywhere. I love you.

Letters to Diane – 15

Hi,

Today was beautiful. Sunny and bright, not a cloud in the sky. It’s a huge change from the rain we’ve been having. The only evidence I could see that the rain happened is how hard the creek is running. It’s up at least 2 feet now.

I went to church because I thought it was time. I’ve missed weeing all those people. Thankfully, no one was sitting in our seats. It’s been a few Sundays since I’ve been, so I was concerned.

After service, I joined everyone in the basement for treats. They are doing it differently by just putting everything on the tables then going around with a coffee pot. I would have rather had water, but it didn’t appear to be an option, so I took coffee, black. It wasn’t bad, but I only had one cup. It was my first cup because I didn’t have time for anything at home before leaving for church. Max was a priority so I walked him around the block and he was appropriately happy about that.

After visiting with Chuck and Larry for a while I returned home and made myself a tuna sandwich using the mixture I’d made a few days ago. It passed the sniff test and it tasted ok so I figured it would be alright. It was.

About halfway through the sandwich, Daniel called Lydia and suggested we all go to El Tapatio for lunch. Sounded pretty good to me, so I gobbled down the sandwich, drank my milk, and we buzzed on over.

I had an authentic Mexican burrito with beans and rice, Jasper had quesadilla, Dan had a sampler plate, Siah got a pizza, Lydia had something I couldn’t identify, and Jennie had an enchilada. You’ll be happy know that I ate all of mine, like normal. It was filling enough that I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have to eat again today. Jared planned to visit later and offered to cook for us which I was all in for. But, Lyd and I ate so much lunch there wasn’t going to be any need for supper.

Since neither of us were hungry, he made a trip to Victorio’s for a burrito, Lydia had some stuff he had in his cooler, and I ate the popcorn Lydia brought home from the movie she went to last night.

Speaking of the movie, she didn’t get home until almost midnight. Max and I stayed up until she was safely home then we went to bed. I fell asleep without having to read my book. That doesn’t happen often but then, I don’t normally stay up until midnight. Maybe I should practice.

Oh ya. I took the steri strips off the new scar on my right cheek. It looks gnarly but nothing leaked out so I wasn’t too concerned that I’d stain my pillowcase. It didn’t and I didn’t so all is good. I won’t have to wash sheets and remake the bed.

Now I’m going to go get in it, right after I take Max outside one more time.

Love you

Letters to Diane – 14

It’s been a busy here at the Creek House the last few days. Since the remaining members of the family don’t think I should wear your clothes, they convinced me to donate them to people who can. So, it was first brought to the living room where someone stacked them on the sofas in a way that would not interfere with my view of the television. Lydia’s view was not impaired, either.

Jennie was the driver for making this move because I was perfectly OK with just leaving all the clothes scattered throughout the house, but there was a need to make room in Lydia’s closet for her things. I don’t know how long she will be living here but that doesn’t matter, either. I’m just Mister Mellow and I’m Ok with whatever my supervisors decide. I say that believing that you will also approve.

Yesterday we had family visitors remove a majority of the items from the kitchen counter and the dining room table. Both horizontal surfaces were covered with stuff removed from your bathroom closet. Most of it was girly stuff, as you know, but there were a few items I was able to call my own. In addition to the Pepto Bismal I think there was some body wash that I could use. Thank you for that.

Now I’m hunkered down in my chair waiting for the Oregon vs. Washington football game. It’s going to be a doozy. You probably already know that and I so miss you sitting next to me for the game. I’ll let you know who won tomorrow.

The creek is really running hard with all the rain we’ve been having. It’s strong enough to take Max all the way to Astoria if I were to turn him loose. He would love to go wading, but I don’t think I can run, or swim well enough to get him back if he decided to take a dip. So, he doesn’t get to go outside unless he’s wearing his walking gear. He’s well aware of this rule and doesn’t try to get past me when I open the slider to let him out back.

I’ve taken him out a few times off leash and he runs next door like normal, but he comes right back. When Lydia was moving her “things” into the house it was mostly at night, so I left the doors open and he stuck with us going in and out. He got so trust-worthy that we kinda forgot him a couple of times when we all went into the house without him. It took a bit of time for me to realize he was missing. When I did, I went to the patio door and whistled a couple of times, and he came running home right away. Every time. You can imagine how happy that made Jerrie.

I’ve fiddled around on this, and resting, all day and here it is dark outside. I just got back from taking Max on his afternoon walk. I’m really happy with all those fuzzy coats you got me because it’s getting cold outside. A few of the football games today were played in the snow. watching a bit of one of those made outside feel colder. Oregon won, by the way, in case you wondered.

Tonight Jerrie, who lives up the hill, is having a Friendsgiving party at the house. I thought that was pretty neat. Just like we do every year with the Winnebago group.

For Max’s morning walk today, I drove him downtown so we could walk around in the new construction area by the river. He thought that was great. A whole bunch of new stuff to sniff.

I must stop now. My fingers are tired and I bet you’re just tired of reading all this drivel.

I love you and miss you.

Letters to Diane – 12

Hello, My Love.

It’s Monday already. It got here so fast that I’ll have to burrow into my brain to discover what happened to Sunday.

Sunday was Thanksgiving with Dan and Jen. I really knew that. Didn’t have to look it up, or anything. I just remembered. In attendance were: Dan, Jen, Cedric, Jeran, Lydia, Austin, Jesse, Linda, Jasper, Siah, Me, Brandy, Carolyn, and Sanchez. I think that got everyone. If not, someone will correct me, maybe.

For the meal, Lydia mashed up some white sweet potatoes that I got her then she added an abundance of cayenne pepper to surprise everyone. They were actually very good and the crowd ate all but a couple bites. I made deviled eggs using the recipe I found in the notes on your phone.

Jeff cooked the turkey using Jennie’s roaster and it was great. I was handed a big fork and knife when we arrived and directed to whittle some pieces off the bones. I did, and it was a respectable job. There was a lot of ham, too, by Jennie.

Overall, it was a great meal and no one went away hungry.

In case you’re wondering who Austin and Jesse are, I’ll tell you. They are Jeran’s roomies in Keizer. We met Jesse before when Jeran graduated from Corban. He’s a minister now. Smiles all the time. Both are just nice guys and a nice addition to the family.

Jennie took Carolyn and me home before the festivities ended because I was experiencing my normal afternoon depression. I’m not sure it’s depression, just incredibly tired, usually cured with a nap.

Later, when Lydia and Jennie showed up, they got to work cleaning out the closet in Lydia’s room because she has “things” she needs to remove from Autumn’s house. As you may recall, the closet in that room was full of your colored-coded shirts, blouses, and coats. Lots and lots of them. They also took out the boxes and containers of shoes and other “things” that were on the floor. Now it’s piled up on the living room couches. We all agreed that you would not approve but, you know what? That’s what happens when you leave early. In the end, however, you will be pleased with the plan to remove it from the living room.

I was looking for a photo to share but getting something recent is difficult. So, here’s one from last month in front of Bethany.

Love you.

Letters to Diane – 10

Hi, my Love,

Yesterday is a little blurry because I apparently didn’t do anything to make it worthy of a place in my memory. Perhaps something will pop up in my mind if I just type aimlessly. Let me get going with today’s activity.

Jennie had a meeting with her team from school this afternoon so I got to keep Siah for a while. We got along great because we watched a couple of really silly movies.

After a while, Autumn dropped Jasper off and things went fine. By the time Jennie got here they were both tired and hungry so it didn’t take long for them to get upset.

Jennie ordered McDonald’s for them to take care of the hungry part, but as time moved on the lack of naps got the best of them. Neither of them could sit still long enough to properly eat their dinner and neither of them wanted to listen to Mom. So, I injected myself into the fray. That didn’t please them, but they kinda listened to me. If you were watching us, I’m guessing you are proud of the way I kept my cool. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.

I finally made it to Thursday coffee with the guys at the Kozy. Larry and Chuck were there and we had a good visit. Since I’ve missed so many, I bought the drinks. I also ate breakfast. You should be happy about that. I had one sausage patty, one egg, and one piece of toast. White, non-nutritional toast, of course. That was my second breakfast because I had a bowl of cheerios before leaving the house.

After I got home from the Kozy I took Max for an extra long walk. He appreciated it, I know.

Now it’s 2030, Lydia is safely home, and Jennie got the littles home to bed. All is well.

Love you.