Aunti Jo is 95, My Friends Larry & Larry, Hillary, and Weed Whacker Back

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I went to coffee today, in the old truck, and had a nice visit with my friend Larry and my other friend Larry. I arrived early and was delighted to find Jack, my brother Jack’s brother-in-law. He was sitting with Jerry H. who wanted to know what Jewel and her husband did with the 1957 Corvette they used to have. I knew the answer but gave him Jewel’s phone number instead so he could ask her. Just so you know, she traded it in on a VW bug. I think.

I, Larry, and Larry solved many of the world’s problems between sips of coffee from cups that never ran dry. One of the big topics was Hillary and how she got away with lying to Congress and making supremely bad decisions as USSOS (United States Secretary of State). Our friend, James, said,

“While the FBI had found that Mrs. Clinton and her aides had been “extremely careless” in their handling of classified material, there was no clear evidence that anyone intentionally mishandled information, obstructed justice or appeared to be disloyal to the U.S. in the process.”

Makes me wonder how many people are in prison for doing exactly the same thing. The difference, of course, is those in prison are not privileged members of our society and don’t have the means to fight for their own cause.

The unwillingness of the FBI Director, James Comey, and our esteemed Attorney General, Loretta Lynch, to follow through with some sort of punishment for Hillary’s actions is proof that our laws are enforced using double standards that favor certain people.

Enough. Sorry.

Jewel has been very busy weed whacking and raking the remains off all the berms around the house. Today after my physical therapy session I joined the effort by doing some weed whacking of my own. I did so much weed whacking, for so long, that I literally burned up my plug-in whacker and thereby causing an end to my efforts for the day. I know it was burned up because it was smoking. It’s probably still under warranty but I have no idea where the receipt is. Thankfully we have one of the WORX 56V units that provides enough power to weed whack for more than enough time to cause damage.

As a result of our efforts, both Jewel and I have Weed Whacker Back, a terrible affliction that only certain kinds of wine and cheese can resolve. Since I don’t drink wine, I’m stuck with just cheese so my WWB won’t fade nearly as fast as Jewel’s.

While working on our WWBs Diane was busy doing laundry and cleaning the entire house with her trusty Shark Vacuum Cleaner so she wound up with a severe case of HC&LB (House Cleaning & Laundry Back). Still, she whipped up a tasty meal of left over chicken and beans, and added mashed potatoes, salad, and cream corn. It was pretty awesome. I also got a piece of Aunt Jo’s birthday cake that was served at the party honoring her 95th year on earth. Pretty amazing and she’s still going strong.

Now I must make my way to the living room where the TV is on and see if I can convince the owner of the remote to switch to something besides HGTV for a little while.

Cheers.

Hope The 4th Was With You, and Toilets

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It is my sincere hope that all of you who celebrate the 4th of July with fireworks wound up with the correct number of fingers, toes, eyes, and ears this morning. There are many who dwell among us whose common sense, when lighting explosive things, fails them due to the influence of alcohol or other drugs of choice. When they wake up missing digits they will lament their decisions, just like all of those who served as bad examples before them. It’s amazing, don’t you think? History repeating itself over and over. I believe the prime reason for this kind of behavior is nature’s way of improving the gene pool.

We had a festive group at our house for a BBQ yesterday. The Walters Clan, The Cate clan, and new family member Jewel attended as did Diane’s Mom, Jean, who, if you remember, broke her wrist a little over a week ago. The brace provided by the orthodontist she visited helped a lot but we suspect her upcoming visit to an orthopedist will provide her with better broken bone management. She’s been told it may never heal, but what do orthodontists know. Teeth. That’s what they know. Not bones.

After all the eating was done we older members of society sat back and listened as the din of conversation subsided a little with each person who left. When all those who wear younger clothes were gone there was a brief sense of loss before the quiet seeped in. Then one of the neighbors set of a stick of dynamite that set off a bunch of car alarms.

Regarding dynamite. It’s apparently legal in Oregon. Only fireworks that leave the ground are illegal. So, of course, the majority of those exploding around us were airborne. Pretty, but totally illegal. Making it more fun is the uncut hay-field just below us. Thankfully, nothing caught on fire so I guess you could call it a successful 4th celebration.

Here’s an example of what transpired off to the south of our back porch.

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Ziva, our black dog who enjoys lounging in bushes while outside, was very vocal about all the noise. Eventually she got used to it and only complained about the really loud ones that she could see and hear at the same time. She had a really good time, as did we.

This morning I visited my new physical therapist, Bret, who has already made my pain less. But, the day is not done.

My mission for today is to install our new tall toilet in my bathroom for Diane. She has trouble with short toilets. This will probably be an all day affair. I know because I’ve done it before and it always takes all day. For normal people it’s about a 30 minute job. Not me. I make it last because it’ so much fun. Last night I asked Diane if I should take the new toilet out of the box and put it in the bedroom so she could practice sitting on it, but she declined. I think she was afraid she might trip over it in the middle of the night while on her way to the short toilet. I would like to put the short toilet in the yard so we can use it for a Redneck BBQ and beer cooler combo … like this …

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She’s not a fan. She won’t even consider making a planter out of it, like this …

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Now, tell me. Who wouldn’t want something like that sitting on your front porch? I find it very welcoming and pleasant. But, no, we’ll just have to find someone in need of a short toilet and pass it along.

That’s about it for today.

Have a safe 5th as you finish off all those fireworks left over from yesterday.

News in the News

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Amid all the shootings, and stories about people blowing each other up, is a scattering of nonsensical news items that make me pause and go, “Hmmm.”

First, I must tell you that I typically don’t watch the news and I rarely read the newspapers that are delivered to our door, so my news view is decidedly limited. Still, I have opinions about what I see when reading “Bing” news on my computer.

Using that handy doorway to the world I’m able to choose from many sources for any of the news items they deem noteworthy. I have my favorites, of course, but tend to look at the most recent entries available. I suspect the trivial items are included to dilute ones perception of news in general to keep their interest. You know, like scattering candy in a pile of crap to make it look more festive.

Take today, for instance. I’ve investigated the world and discovered that a “Popular Tucson TV Reporter Couple” have been charged with child abuse after their baby tested positive for cocaine. This was accomplished through the use of the former Miss Arizona contestant’s shapely left breast, while feeding her infant, after she ingested cocaine the previous evening. How fun. Now she’s newsworthy, but no longer reporting the news. Dumb.

Then there’s news about a Milwaukee woman who has been added to the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted list. She’s the suspect in the murder of her pregnant neighbor and her unborn infant because of loud music. One source indicated that Shanika, the suspect, is Milwaukee’s first fugitive on the ‘Ten Most Wanted List’, like it’s some kind of honor, like when the Bucks win a ball game. Kinda makes you want to move to Milwaukee, doesn’t it?

How about Mark Z, Mr. Facebook? He’s making all his new Kauai neighbors angry because he’s building a six-foot high wall around his 700 acre estate. That’s certainly noteworthy, don’t you think? His spokespeople said the wall is meant to be a sound barrier but I think it’s there to keep the wild pigs out. Or maybe keep them in. One resident of the island reported that she’s 5’8″ tall and when walking along the property all she can see is the rock wall instead of the Hawaiian scenery to which she’s accustom. They want Mark to tear down the wall because it’s an eye sore. I mean, really? It was built to code, using local rocks and, most likely, local artisans. I think it’s a nice looking wall. I also think a more simple solution to tearing it down would be for Mark to build platforms outside the wall, every 100 feet or so, where those who are less than 6′ tall can ascend above the wall and take in all of Mark’s natural beauty. Each ramp would have to have wheelchair access, of course.

 For the sports minded folks, there’s news about LeBron James who declined his player option and is now a free agent. The reason, I surmise, is due to his inherently greedy nature that propels him to seek more and more money for his “talents”. Yes, he’s pretty good but, like all pro sports icons, waaaaaay overpaid for what they do. Declining the option, it is reported, James salary will increase from $24 million to $27.5 million a year, a modest 14.58% increase. Not bad for someone who already has far more money than he needs.

I know, I sound a bit bitter talking about stuff like that, and probably smacks a lot like socialism. That’s not really it for me. It’s just that I find it amazing that professional athletes, and most CEO’s make such obscene amounts of money each year when we severely under educated kids, many of whom don’t know what having a full belly is like. It’s just sad.

There are many more topics, of course, most of them about people getting shot and places being blown to smithereens. You know, fun things to read about. The topper for all of today’s news, for me, was finding out that there might be a Tetris Trilogy in our future.

Stunning news.

Cedric’s Party & My Big Blue Yoga Ball

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I gave Jewel my favorite Apple ear buds to use while working in the flower beds and the first thing she did was cut the cord with a pair of scissors. Consequently, she was tuneless for a while.

Diane and I were going to be camping at Big Eddy Park this week, but her Mom, Jean, decided to live on the edge last Friday and broke her wrist in 15 places. Trying to pull an unwanted tree out of the ground. To make a bad situation worse, it’s her right hand, the one she uses the most. So, with her right arm splinted and wrapped, she’s learning to use her left hand for all her needs and is doing a very nice job of it. Not bad for almost 89. It was only broken in one place and it’s not a complete separation, but I’m sure it hurts like one. Tramadol is making her life much easier and is also helping with her back pain. Mom is doing great and we could probably have gone camping but we’re more comfortable sticking around in case she get adventurous and breaks something else.

Yesterday was Cedric’s farewell party. He doesn’t leave for boot camp until July 17th, but the party had to be held early to ensure all of his friends could make it. It was well attended by all members of the family, many friends, and at least one new friend who recently arrived from Hawaii. We all ate a bunch of Subway sandwiches and had a great time. We even saw Cedric a couple of times as he passed through. He was a busy guy.

One of the highlights for me was that Ceiarra hugged me back. Made my day. She hasn’t done that in the past.

I had a new chair for my computer. It was a huge yoga ball and, surprisingly, it was very comfortable. It actually got me high enough that my keyboard was in an ergonomically correct position. Less tiresome to use for Jerrie’s little arms. Plus, I could bounce up and down a bit while working which satisfied my whimsical side. Everything was just great until about an hour ago when it blew up and dropped me about two feet to the floor. I landed on my little 72-year-old elbows, the back of my head (against the wall) and my skinny-ish butt. It was pretty exciting, I must admit. For about 1 second I was in total free fall so now I know how an astronaut feels in outer space. Really. I do. However, I bet their elbows, back and head don’t hurt once gravity returns.

I didn’t get up right away because I wasn’t sure if everything would work. This caused Diane concern and she wanted to call 911. I declined. I got up all by myself and don’t limp any worse from my sciatica than normal so I guess things will be alright. Until tomorrow morning, at least. My left elbow is already starting to swell from the impact so Diane will probably make me go to the doctor.

She’s gonna have to drag me there.

The Dead Golfer’s Agreement

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So, I went golfing a couple of days ago and didn’t do too badly. I even counted most of my strokes for a change, unlike Doug who counts absolutely everything he swings at. Still can’t beat him.

Around the fifth hole we discussed some of the final aspects of our Dead Golfer Agreement and at which point in the process we should notify the affected significant other. The preliminary suggestion, mine, was to do that just after calling 911 once we’re done with finished playing.

Here’s a DRAFT version of the DGA …

DRAFT

We, the undersigned, hereto and forever after, agree, tentatively, to perform the following steps, without fail, if we are able, in the event one of us checks out, permanently, during a round of golf in which all three of us participate, as long as the game is played at the St. Helens Golf Club.

Article One: Dying during one of the following events voids this agreement and requires that one of the surviving members call 911 immediately, or as soon as they are done going to the bathroom, to report the death. The other member will call the appropriate significant other to let them know.

  • While in the process of paying for the round and the cart
  • Driving the cart to the vehicle containing the clubs,
  • Transferring the clubs from the car to the cart
  • Driving to the first hole, Walking to the tee
  • While placing a ball on the tee
  • Taking practice swings
  • Addressing the ball
  • While in the backswing motion
  • While swinging down on the ball without making contact with the ball

Article Two: The game must be in progress for the articles of this agreement to be binding. To be in progress one member must have teed off at the first hole. Specifically, this means that the member has begun his swing and hits the ball. Since it will be difficult to know if a member dies at the moment his club impacts the ball, or just before that, the game will be considered in progress because he hit the ball.

Article Three: The member who discovers that a member has apparently entered a deceased mode is required by this agreement to verify if there is a pulse and if there is any sort of respiratory effort being made by the affected member.

  • If there is a pulse but no noticeable respiratory effort the vertical members will play one round of Rock-Paper-Scissors to determine who will perform mouth to mouth on the horizontal member. The winner of the RPS round is safe and can retire to the cart to prepare the bungee cords and rope in case they become necessary. Just in case.
  • If there is no pulse but the horizontal member is obviously attempting to breathe, one of the vertical members must perform chest compressions in an attempt to restart the heart. Apparently pounding on the chest is a valid form of CPR and may ‘scare’ the heart back into action. They do that in comic books.
  • If any CPR action works, the members will allow the golfers behind them to play through until the striken member is well enough to continue the game.
  • If the striken member cannot continue the round he will be declared the loser, and will be returned to his vehicle where he must wait until the other two complete the round.
  • Once the round is complete, one of the un-striken members should probably call a doctor, or call 911, just in case.

Article Four: If CPR actions fail, the horizontal member will be declared deceased. The time will be noted and written on the scorecard next to their name in this manner: TOD mm/dd/yyyy-hh:mm-am/pm.

Article Five: After recording TOD, surviving members will extract the bungee cords and ropes, which they are all required to carry, from their golf bags, and they will drag the horizontal member to his assigned cart and place him in the passenger seat. Bungee cords and rope will be used to the extent necessary secure the deceased member in an upright position and to limit the possibility of him falling out of the cart during the remainder of the round.

Article Six: When the round is complete, and all golfers are safely back at their vehicles, one of the survivors will call 911 and the other one will call the correct significant other. Waiting for the authorities to arrive would be a good time to alert other golfers in the area about this event so they can express their condolences and to receive a commemorative golf ball from the deceased member’s bag.

This agreement will, of course, need revision but I think you get the drift.

Golf & Pain

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Happy First Day of Summer! It’s finally here! Now we have to start watering the front lawn so it will grow giving Diane a reason to play on the lawn mower. She can’t do that, however, until she finishes up out back. It’s a mess.

Rumor has it that I have to go golfing tomorrow because our weatherman, JP, said it’s going to be a good day for it. So, we go golf. The problem for me is that I had my pneumonia booster today and my left arm is incredibly sore. The young lady who stabbed me did a good job with the needle, but when she mashed the plunger I almost cried. She said she was sorry, but there wasn’t much that could be done at that point. So, now I have to swing a club with all that pain in my left arm in addition to the rotator cuff pain in the right one. Yes, I have to go swing that club. Should be a good day.

Does anyone know someone at this number: +93 8808191 ?? According to my phone it’s somewhere in Afghanistan. I don’t know anyone there.

I’m keeping this short because it hurts to sit long due to my sciatica piraformis.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Have a great day.

Cedric, Jewel, Diane, Doug, Junior, & Taylor

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Gee! It’s been a week since my last post and I can’t comprehend that amount of time slipping past me without registering. Just a blink of the eye and it’s gone. Perhaps I had a bunch of naps which could account for some of that time, but certainly not a week. I don’t think. Now I must reflect and see if anything interesting happened. If not, I’ll make something up.

First up is Cedric. He was 19 years old last Monday, the 13th. If you’ve read a few of these, you may already know that he’s poised for a trip to the Great Lakes Naval Training Center next month to begin boot camp. He enlisted on the Delayed Entry Program (DEP) a few months ago but had to wait for a spot. He’s excited about getting on with his life and we’re happy that he is finding his way. There will be more news about his progress as information is made available to me.

Last Monday, the 14th, was a double duty day for me because I was out of the house shortly after 6am to go help put out flags around town. Why did we do that, you may ask? It was Flag Day. One of those days that not may folks know about any more. So, now you have it. Keep that in mind for next year. It’s not a paid holiday, but one that gives us another opportunity to pay tribute to our Stars and Stripes.

After flags were in place, I made a trip to the St. Helens Golf Course for another round with the Peal Boys, Doug and Junior. That’s always a fun time. I actually played a pretty good round, too. Had two pars, one of which was a potential birdie. My drive made it to the green, something I’ve never done before. What fun is that!? Jimmie O wants to team up for a round at Wildwood soon so I’ll have an opportunity to see if I can survive 18 holes. There will be a report on that later, too, if I do good.

After golfing, we had a McBurgerville lunch then Doug dropped me by the doctor’s office for a scheduled visit with my cardiologist. This was the followup regarding the cardiac event I had a few weeks ago. I think it was a few weeks ago. I forget. Perhaps some of those brain cells that help me remember stuff got messed up somewhere along the road. That happens, and it’s OK. We all forget stuff. The one thing about forgetting stuff is where I am doing something up stairs and find I need “something” that’s in the basement but can’t remember what it is when I get down there. When that happens I walk around in my work shop and talk to my tools, and random pieces of wood, trying to get some help from them to remind me what I’m after. Generally I remember and find what I want, but sometimes I just find something else more interesting that what I was previously doing. When Diane discovers that I’m missing, she gets me back on track to finish the original task. She knows I forget, and I told her that it’s really only going to be a problem if I rush from the living room to the bathroom than can’t remember why I went there. I believe she has a stash of Depends somewhere to assist when that moment comes.

Thursday morning I had coffee with my friend, Larry. My other friend Larry played hooky so we didn’t have a quorum for the weekly meeting. Got to have three in case something comes up for a vote to ensure we don’t wind up with a tie. I believe the rest of that day was spent slumbering. I’m not sure. Diane may know. You’ll have to ask.

Friday we made a trip to Scappoose to pick up Jewel, our new gardener and dog sitter. She’s been on Hawaii, the Big Island, for the last 38 years, or so, (I’m guessing, of course), and is pretty much a native of Kailua/Kona. Coming back to the NW is like coming home for her. Thankfully the weather has cooperated, giving her a warm welcome. The sad thing about her return is that when we visit Kona we won’t have her to visit with. Because of that we may just not ever go there again. The good thing about her being here is she likes our dogs and she likes to pull weeds so we are applying a lot of pressure on her to just come live with us, like forever, or at least until she gets settled. She and I graduated from Scappoose High School together and it’s fun getting reacquainted after all these years. Because she was our Prom Queen I didn’t have a chance of ever dating her and now, look! We’re living together. It’s ok, though, because she and Diane are long time friends.

Friday afternoon we all went to the Riverfest Beer Garden down by the old court-house where we attended a OLCC training session about checking IDs for folks entering the area. We had to do that because Diane signed us up for a two-hour stint Friday evening. The training we received amounted to someone reading us a brochure that indicated the necessity of ensuring only competent adults were allowed in to drink beer then quickly shifted to “Signs of Visible Intoxication”. Here they are:

  • Bloodshot, glassy eyes
  • Slurred speech
  • Spilling drinks
  • Rambling conversation, loss of train of thought
  • Difficulty handling money, picking up change
  • Lack of focus and eye contact
  • Difficulty standing up
  • Stumbling
  • Swaying, staggering
  • Speaking loudly, then quietly
  • Difficulty remembering
  • Slow response to questions

After that list is a reminder to the trainee that drinking while on duty is against the law because serving alcohol responsibly requires a clear head. That kind of got me because we weren’t serving alcohol. We were just checking IDs. Still, it was part of the training. After that little pause, another bulleted list of “More Signs of Visible Intoxication”.

  • Can’t find mouth with glass
  • Mussed hair
  • Disheveled clothing
  • Loud and unruly
  • Urging other people to have another drink
  • Annoying other guests or servers
  • Aggressive or belligerent
  • Making inappropriate comments about others
  • Foul language
  • Sullen, moody

After having all of this read to us I was convinced that the list was made specifically for me because I have almost every one of those problems without ever consuming alcohol. The first set of bullets apply to me from the time I get up in the morning until after I have my afternoon meal. After the meal, the bottom set of bullets apply. Except for the foul language. I don’t do that. Can’t say I’ve never been guilty of that, but I don’t practice that form of communication any more. It’s not productive. Diane said.

While at Riverfest, I had a chance to greet Taylor and find out how school in Las Vegas is going for her. She was working in her Mom’s Yo Place Frozen Yogurt trailer.

Yesterday was a fun day in the yard for all of us. Jewel is a gem, no pun intended, and a hard worker. It’s to our advantage that she loves digging in the dirt. Diane decided that she would try mowing the lawn which turned into an adventure for both her, and me. I found some really good face masks that allowed her to be in the open air, covered with grass clippings, and still breathe normally. Without it she would have been so choked up she’d’ve had to stay in side. Grass is her main nemesis. That and strong perfume.

Anyway, I got her moving on the lawn mower, after jump starting it, then turned her loose. Since I forgot to show her about putting the ignition key in the correct position for mowing in reverse, I had to drag a battery and cables to her and get the mower going again. Then she did an absolutely perfect job mowing the front yard. Things went south when she moved around to the side yard and she discovered that getting around trees posed a problem for novice lawn mowers. First, she ran into the holly tree and killed the engine. That required another jump-start. Then she dropped one of the front wheels into a hole and killed the engine for another jump-start. The last one was when she got tangled up in the grape vines and couldn’t extract herself. Another jump-start. It got to the point that whenever I heard the mower stop I just deserted my blackberry vine eradication efforts and took the batter to wherever she was. The most entertaining episode, however, didn’t involve a killing the engine, but almost killing herself, so to speak. She was mowing around a low hanging forsythia, thinking it couldn’t be all that hard to slowly mow under the dangling branches. I just happened to look up and saw her flying out from under the branches at full speed, leaning back as far as she could to avoid contact, and it looked like she was riding a bucking bronco. All she would have had to do was put one hand in the air to prove she wasn’t hanging on with both hands. What happened was when she leaned back she pushed the forward hydrostatic clutch lever all the way down and didn’t realize it as she fought to extract herself from the scratchy branches with minimal injury. It took her a good 30 feet to stop because she was going downhill, and when I got to her she was in hysterics, having a great time. It was really funny, and I’m glad she didn’t hurt herself. Just wish I could’ve had a video camera at the ready when I saw her take off.

Since nothing can top the mower episode, I’m going to quit. Diane’s looking forward to finishing up the back yard tomorrow. I’ll be standing by with the camera this time.

Cheers!

Birth Control Breakthrough !

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I don’t normally expound about things concerning planned parenthood, or anything regarding sexual issues, but had to share this in support of the little guy.

Warning! The following contains sexually explicit information that may (or may not) offend your sensibilities, so view at your own risk.

Condoms for normal people.

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NBA Playoffs

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Golden State just proved their superiority this evening by beating Cleveland 108-97 in Cleveland. While in the process of doing that, they sank a play off record 17 threes.

It is my opinion the Warriors could have won in 4 straight, but didn’t give it their all in game three so they could go home and win the championship on their home court. The statistics are on the Warriors’ side because no team has ever come back to win after being down 3-1.

Just an opinion.

If you disagree, that’s fine.

I don’t care.

Good News, Bad News, and Just News

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Yesterday was a lot of fun, sad, and brutal. Contradictory terms, I know, but it’s all true. Fun because, well, I was able to attain a vertical position, again, we were able to stay up until eleventy-thirty for a farewell visit with Ashlee and Mike, and the Walters clan joined the fray in to regain custody of their vehicle which they loaned Ashlee and Mike for the duration of their apartment hunting visit. Sad because we were saying goodbye to the newest members of our extended family. Brutal because we stayed up until eleventy-thirty then had to get up Oh-Dark-Thirty (2:00 am) for the trip to the airport.

OK – that’s all done now. Diane and I dropped Ashlee & Mike at the United sign, got goodbye  hugs, then returned home around 4:00 am. We were in bed by 4:01 and both of us slept like logs. Well, one of us did. I was up at  7 to feed the dogs, who were confused with all the commotion, then went back down until 11:30. Diane remained prone until 12:30. She always has to outdo me on things like that. I can’t prove it, but I’m pretty sure she knows when the dogs wake up but pretends to sleep so I’ll get up and feed them. Her fitbit backs her up so I can’t really challenge her about that. Besides, it’s the least I can do, get up to feed the dogs, when she feeds me so well. I really don’t mind. Honest.

The really good news about the A&M visit is that A found an apartment to rent and will be returning soon to take up residence and begin her doctoral studies at Pacific University. Here are a couple of pics taken to commemorate the visit – Mike & Ashlee are the young ones, in case you didn’t know.

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This is of all the ‘kids’ who were left standing at the end of the night from tallest to smallest.IMG_0427

Since we got up late enough to have breakfast for lunch, and it’s pouring buckets of rain, I’ve been given the day off. Can’t mow, can’t pull weeds, can’t trim “stuff”, can’t weed whack, and it’s too humid to mow anything so I’ll just fiddle around. So, I read the news.

With all the news about Muhammad Ai passing, a sad loss I confess, but there is a lot more happening out there in the world. And other places.

NASA’s Juno spacecraft, for instance. The JUpiter Near polar Orbiter was launched on August 5th, 2011 and is scheduled to enter orbit around Jupiter on July 4th, a mere 24 days away. That’s quite a hike. I can’t help but wonder what the citizens of Jupiter will think when they see our JUNO buzzing around their planet. Will they be happy? Will they feel threatened? Will they retaliate? Guess we’re going to find out.

Then there’s the knucklehead, and his knucklehead sister, who wandered off a designated path and fell into a very hot acidic pool in Yellowstone National Park. I wonder what their drug of choice was that caused them to think it was a good idea. There was no further news about the sister, and her brother’s death is purely speculation because there was no body left to recover. He’s probably headed for Arizona where he will hide out while his sister waits the required seven years to cash in on the 2 million dollar life insurance policy she took out on her brother just a few days before the plunge. That’s a guess, of course. It might be 3 million.

That’s enough news. I’m going to quit, now, and maybe draw something. Diane bought me a $60 set of water-color pencils (for $4 at Goodwill) and I have a new drawing pad, so should give it a shot and see what happens. Could be interesting. Never done anything like that before. I’ll let you know how it goes.