I heard on the news tonight (KGW Channel 8) that flame retardant chemicals on furniture are suspected to be linked to cancer, low IQ, and obesity in children.

Fortunately, I’m frequently told I’m childish and we just bought a new couch from Ashley Furniture that doesn’t have chemical flame retardants. Therefore, it stands to reason that I can sit on that couch as long as I want with no fear of gaining weight, getting cancer, or dropping a few numbers off my IQ. Also, since there was no mention of food regarding the obesity with regard to chemical flame retardants, I see no reason why I can’t eat whatever I want while sitting on that couch for as long as I want.

Life is good.