I’ve always had a penchant for endowing inanimate objects with sentient emotions and feelings. I don’t know why, I just do.

This morning I discovered that my toilet paper roll was down to the last few sheets. As I was about to throw it away I wondered what it must be like for them, being stuck on a small cardboard tube for months on end, buried beneath layers and layers of siblings who they know will find the light of day long before they do, and who will find release in the sacred bowl of water, to be recycled into nature. Then, as they bask briefly in the light, perhaps they reconsider and decide that maybe the sacred bowl of water isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s heard rumors, and little toilet paper screams, as it’s siblings were swept away, never to be seen again. Maybe it’s OK to be tossed in the dry recycle bin and spend what little time they have left basking in the light. Consider this when you reach the end of your roll.

Then there’s the shower head … do you think the water coming out of it is from it’s nose or mouth? Either way, do you think it hurts them if you get the water too hot? Does it get lonely if  you don’t use it? When it drips, is it sad and crying, or does it just drip because it’s old?

How about urinals? What do they think about while hanging on tha wall with their mouth wide open just waiting for some guy to come along and, well, you know, relieve himself into the back of it’s throat? What kind of life is that? Probably OK, since that’s their purpose, but do you suppose they gargle in the middle of the night? Maybe that’s what it’s doing when you press the “Please Flush” handle. Maybe it should be “Please Gargle”.

The worst is toilets. I won’t even go there because with the previous thoughts in your head I’m sure you’re imagining all kinds of things right now. I’ll just say that they at least have the capability, with help, to close their mouths once in a while. That’s got to be at least a little bit of relief.

I explained to Diane what this was going to be about and she wasn’t pleased so I’m sure I’ll hear about this.

Today I put the carburetor back on the truck and it started without blowing up so I won’t have to go back to the doctor right away. It’s only bolted down with three bolts for reasons explained yesterday. It may remain that way for the rest of it’s life. After I did that I reattached the gas tank to the old D22 and am taking a break from the 90 degree heat before connecting the gas lines. When that’s done I’ll go get some gas and dump it in the main tank and see what I can do about getting it to start.

Sure hope it doesn’t blow up. If it does I’ll probably have to go back to the doctor anyway. Diane will insist.