… I am THE cat. I go where I please. No one questions me when I want to get on the other side of any door.

I’m not picky, I sit in anyone’s lap whether or not the lap owner consents. They dare not refuse me because I have claws. I don’t use them because the threat is enough.

I kill birds, rats, and moles, just for fun. Hummingbirds are my biggest challenge so I pick on the little ones. I haven’t yet snagged a crow, but I’m working on it. One day they will speak of me with fear in their caws, knowing that I can have my way with them. It will happen.

I will not eat anything that comes out of a can because I fresh food. I do, however, eat the hard crunchy food my humans provide. I like the noise it makes and it’s good exercise.

Dogs don’t scare me. They walk around me. Especially the little black one. After I catch my crow I might knock him down. I could do it now, but it would cause trouble. It would make him hide in his kennel for days. If he does that I cannot get to HIS crunchy food. I like it too.

My humans have an outside dinning facility for foreign cats. I used to be one. Because of that, I chose them. They didn’t choose me. I made them beg for me to stay. So I did. They think it was their begging that worked, but it was my choice. Not theirs.

Sometimes I get to playing late at night and don’t make it back before the doors are locked and the lights are off. That’s OK. I sleep on an upper patio chair, far from the hungry coyote fangs that roam the area. They are just another kind of dog and they don’t scare me, either. I sleep on the patio chair because I want to. It’s nice there, especially when it’s raining. I don’t mind being wet. It doesn’t bother me at all. I just choose to stay dry if given the choice.

Now I must nap.