Banana Stickers

Today I had to make a trip to the VA Hospital in Portland to see a dermatologist. There are always “iffy” things growing on my face which disturb Diane so I thought it would be a good idea to go. It was an early trip, too, and Diane is, hopefully, in the final stages of a head and chest cold. She’s coughed so much, and so hard, that she thinks she ripped a rib out of place.

Anyway, we had to get up at 0630. That’s not something we’ve done in a long time. And, I had to put clothes on because she wouldn’t let me go in my jammies. I don’t know what the problem is with that because I see folks running all over town in jammies. They’re comfortable. But, real clothes were deemed necessary. I complied. Like I always do.

I had my morning banana on which I found a cute little sticker that read “Stick me to your forehead and smile”. So I did. Diane didn’t smile back. It was too early. When I got in the car she told me to take it off.

The trip to Portland wasn’t bad for the time of day because we missed most of the early rush. She didn’t plan to go into the hospital because she didn’t want to take any chances of getting something worse than a chest cold. I totally understand that. So, she just dropped me out front and we agreed that I would text her (on my iPad since I forgot my phone) when I was done.

I was directed to the dermatology area, got checked in, and sat down to read my book while waiting to be called. It didn’t take long before I was sitting in a private room waiting for the doctor.

When she came in she pointed to my forehead and asked what that was. Reaching up I discovered the sticker I’d placed there at home. Smack in the middle of my forehead. I’d wandered through the hospital, checked in with a guy named Joe, got placed in my room, and no one said a thing about it. I gues they just thought I was one more crazy guy roaming the halls of the VA facility. There are a few of those. Maybe next time I’ll stick on the one that reads “I’m full of vitamins”.

Maybe the most disturbing thing about that was it didn’t really bother me at all. I just rmeoved the sticker then the doc got her ‘freeze’ gun out and zapped about 15 spots all across my forehead, including the really big, harmless, mole that bothered Diane. It was starting to look like a little brain so I can understand her concern.

Now I have red spots that look lots worse than the banana sticker. Maybe I’ll get some Hello Kitty bandaids and cover them all up. Wouldn’t that be festive.

Now I need to get ready for our church council meeting. I’m in charge. Scary, huh?

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