I fear I’ve treaded heavily upon some soft spots of decorum by delving into the world of religion and politics. View this as a hasty retreat from that line of thought and consider me neutral. I’m now Switzerland, in position only, of course. I don’t have spare banks into which you can dump your hard earned cash, but I do have a small safe that will hold a modest amount should any of you care to contribute.
That, by the way, isn’t one of those Nigerian scams where someone with bad English wishes to help you claim the millions of dollars his client, your relative, left in his care. He just needs you to confirm your identity, send him a few grand, and he’ll ensure the money is transferred. For a modest fee, of course.
No, that’s not me. This isn’t even a request. It’s simply a suggestion that if you have a bunch of cash laying around and don’t know what to do with it I’ll help you store it until you make up your mind. For a modest fee, of course. I don’t need any kind of personal information from you, either. You can just leave it anonymously in the Wal*Mart newspaper drop box on any Tuesday morning.
Today I must make an appointment with the Apple Doctor for the computer, upon which I’m creating this questionable bit of verbage, as it’s main storage unit has been deemed to have a known flaw and they wish to replace it, free of charge. All I have to do it get it to the doctor. First, however, I must make an appointment with them that does not overlap any currently scheduled appointments. Today, the critical one is Diane’s haircut this morning.
Diane and her Mom, Jean, go together for haircuts about every 5 weeks or so, the same as Ozzie. Actually, Ozzie is the driver here because when his fuzzy hair gets to looking pretty bad, the girls just gather him in and they all march off for their Poodle-Do’s.
Me? I really don’t care if I ever get another haircut but there always comes a point in time when Diane feels I’ve gone long enough without one and parks in front of my barber until I get out of the car. Then she goes shopping while waiting for me.
Most times, about 2 days after their haircuts, they find problems that cause them to question their choice of facilities, and/or, their beautician, and discuss their choices about where to go for the next one. This generally winds up with them making the rounds of all the salons in St. Helens over an 8 month period, winding up with their overall favorite, Tracie. My barber is a beautician, too, but he only charges me $10 for a haircut. Also, he’ll cut anyone’s hair so I’ve suggested, numerous times, that we could all go see him. The drawback for them, however, is that it’s a long process with my barber. He’s not in a hurry, he’s the only barber in the joint, and he has a ton of information to share. And, he doesn’t make appointments. Since his haircuts take about 40 minutes each, consider waiting a while if you are #3. I find it very interesting, however, listening to him share information on pretty much every subject known to mankind. It’s educational, unlike the rumors and gossip shared in normal beauty salons. I know that’s true because I’ve seen lots of TV shows where they do that. You don’t see many people getting their hair cut in barber shops on TV shows nowdays, unless one of them is getting shot.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to shave until next April. Diane will be upset, but my face will stay a bit warmer as the temperatures drop. I may, with increasing marital pressure, cave on this but my current intention is to stand fast and let it grow.
Gotta go and get my work clothes on now. Things to do. While I’m gone, perhaps you can help me solve a mystery that’s been bugging me lately. Well, not just lately, but for a long time now.
Why doesn’t pubic hair turn grey?