Woodworking as an Exercise

Day One – sruggled through my four assigned exercises this morning with no discernable malfunctions to any of my major joints. It took me 15 minutes. Still remaining is the commanded 30 minute walk which will be difficult because Diane took Jennie to Portland. Since I’m not normally allowed to leave the house when I’m left alone, and she won’t be home until after supper, I seriously doubt that the walk will happen. She left the keys to the PT, as a test of will power I suspect, but cautioned me against attempting to drive it because she knows what the mileage is. I guess she’s afraid I won’t find my way home. Either that, or she wants to ensure I stay home to work on the lists that she leaves laying around on my computer keyboard and my dresser. She used to just put them in my underwear drawer, but I hardly ever look in there so she’s changed tactics. By putting them on my keyboard there’s no way I can miss them. I can, however, at great risk, ignore them. I rarely do that, and never intentionally. I have several scars that serve as reminders should I sway toward the dark side of non-compliance.

It’s now almost 6:30 pm and I’ve been alone for over six hours. Diane left at noon. I suggested that I could save them both a trip because I’m prefectly capable of doing toes and fingers. I have wire cutters, files, and lots of spray paint, but the unanimous decision was to ignore me and leave me to fend for myself. Diane texted me at 4:30 pm to ask if I’d eaten lunch and I was able to honestly say “Yes, I did!” And, I really did – I had a delightful PB&J on white, side of milk and 4 pieces of fruity candy that Diane left on the counter. The serving size for the candy is 3 pieces which I thought was absurd, because there are four different colors, so I modified the rule. I had one of each color – lemon, orange, lime, and red. I’m not sure what flavor the red one is. Probably cherry. Now I think I’ll have a dozen or so red vines which are almost universally, incorrectly, called red licorice. All true licorice lovers know that licorice is black, not red. Two notable exceptions are Sambuca (an Italian anise -flavoured, usually colourless, liqueur), and Ouzo (the classic Greek anise-flavored liqueur). Both are typically clear until you throw up at which time they assume the color of the last solid food you may have eaten. Consumed on an empty stomach, the color is normally the same as bile directly from your liver.

I’m not saying Sambuca and Ouzo are not good, because they are. I prefer Sambuca because it has the consistancy of thin syrup, unlike it’s watery cousin Ouzo. In Italy Sambuca is traditionally consumed as an after dinner drink with three coffee beans in it. I’m not sure if the coffee beans are meant to be eaten, but I always did because they have significance – one represents health, one represents happiness, and one represents prosperity. If you get more than three it’s because the waiter either doesn’t like you, and wants to ensure you get a raging headache, and an uncontrolable urge to caress the nearest commode about an hour after you leave the restaurant, or he sincerely believes your blood pressure is far below normal. I know this is true.

 Regarding woodworking and exercise … I believe, in my case, this should serve as a suitable substitute for exercise because I spent much of my time going to, and returning from, the basement to either measure something, or to get something I’ve forgotten. Also, my saws are downstairs so I measure, cut a piece, check the fit, then measure for another. I could write all this stuff down and make just one trip for measuring and one for cutting, but that wouldn’t be any fun at all. Being that efficient does not qualify woodworking, in my house, as exercise. I bet I walked 8 miles today. All up hill.
Gotta quit and look busy – Diane just drove in the driveway. Bye.

One thought on “Woodworking as an Exercise

  1. Hi Jerrie I have to tell ya – your writings are a hoot! I went to visit Mom and Dad yesterday and told them Hi from you and I let them know you had a blog. I shared some of them and we had a great chuckle at quite a few of them. I look forward to reading them daily. Take care – Say Hi to Diane. Mom and Dad say hi also.

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