Today Diane and I were asked to participate in a Public Health event, possibly related to a new breed of lettuce called “crappingzola”. It’s being touted, locally, as a new weight loss product that appears to work well. I’ve lost 8 pounds in the last week alone. Diane apparently got the placebo because she didn’t acquire any urgent needs to get intimate with a toilet, as did I. I was selective, however, and hugged only my own porcelain throne.

Things are getting better because I ran out of bile Wednesday last week. I think Diane still has all of hers. Consequently, we learned how to keep time by how long it takes a banana to transit my large intestine. Not just a banana … pretty much anything edible.

Just to top things off, today I made fudge.