It’s a TVCC Christmas @ Finley’s


For those who don’t recognize this, it’s the copyrighted logo for the Tualatin Valley Cruiser Club of which Diane and I are charter members. We had a lapse in club meeting attendance for a few years, but have recently gotten back into participating in scheduled events. Rick Rainwater (he denies being an American Indian), and his bride, Jody, have been running the club for the past eleventy years. Since 2000. As a group, they have travelled all over the NW, California, and parts of Canada. Some members plan their vacations so they can attend the yearly week long trips. Rick & Jody have led TVCC members so many places over the years that they are having a hard time coming up with something new, different, and exciting. I decided to give that some thought so I could, perhaps, make some recommendations.

First, however, I must report on this evening’s Christmas party at Finley’s.

There’s just nothing in this entire world that says Christmas like a party at Finley’s Sunset Hills Mortuary on Highway 26, just above the Oregon Zoo. Meetings are held in the lower chapel. We used to have meetings in the upper chapel, where the funerals are conducted, but I think someone may have decided that TVCC member conduct was unbecoming for our dearly departed brethren, and sitereths. That’s quite possible. The lower chapel, however, is just great. Much cozier, with a lower ceiling, and the TVs installed on the walls. It’s closer to the kitchen, too. That’s important because meetings center around food – normally dessert.

This party, like those in the past, consisted of a white elephant gift exchange, and ornament swap. The ornament swap goes like this – everyone who attends brings a wrapped ornament. When it’s time to swap them, everyone gets in a circle, holding their ornaments. Then Rick starts reading a Christmas story about Mr. & Mrs. Right. As the story progresses, everyone in the circle passes their ornament Right or Left whenever those words are mentioned in the story. Sounds simple, right? It really is, but there is always someone, when Rick pauses, that has no ornament in his hands while across the room is someone with two of them. It’s quite amazing. I never make a mistake while doing this. Never have, never will. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Oddly, when this evening’s story ended almost everyone wound up with their original ornaments which defeats the whole concept of the ornament swap. That’s never happened before, but the distance an ornament travels is directly related to the number of people involved. I didn’t count them, but think there was probably about 218 people there this evening. Just a guess. Maybe only 40-50. Who knows?

The white elephant gift exchange is an event where you can steal gifts from each other. Everyone who attends brings a gift and is issued a number when they enter. Rick draws numbers at random and that person can either open a new gift, or steal one from someone who has a really good one, like a jelly-belly pooping polar bear. Or a gigantic fly swatter. People who have gifts stolen can steal someone else’s or open a new gift. This goes on until all the gifts are opened. Diane was #11 and her number wasn’t drawn until 3rd from last, so she had the choice of stealing anything from anyone, except for anything that has already been stolen three times. That’s a rule. A gift can only be stolen three times. It used to be two times, but it was changed this year to promote stealing by those in attendance. The police were OK with that rule change as it’s all done in doors and everyone is wearing clothes.

That’s about it for the party. Diane and I had a great time. We sat with Tom & Linda and talked about Coleen because she wasn’t there. They’re fun folks. Tom works in a psych ward somewhere in the NW.

Now, about proposed TVCC event trips. Anyone have ideas? If so, add a comment and let us know where you’d like to see the club go. Suggesting they “Go to Hell” isn’t an option because that’s been suggested a number of times already. We look forward to your inputs which will be passed along to Rick.

My suggestion is that we arrange a tour of the Royal Vacuum cleaner factory and learn why their vacuums suck the most. If that doesn’t work out we can visit the Peerless Blower factory, in North Carolina, to see why their products blow. If that doesn’t work out, perhaps we can visit one of the factories where they make blowers that also suck. I think those are made somewhere in Arkansas. Personally, I’d rather visit the last one.

On that, I bid you adieu, so long, farewell. Sleep in peace and stay safe.

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