Category Archives: Sports

Driving in the snow

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I’m actuality pretty good at doing that, driving in the snow. To test my naturally imbued skills, I took a drive today. I had to because we used the last bit of Panzee’s pouch food this morning. She’ll want more of it in the morning. If I don’t have it she’ll just make my day totally miserable. I know. She’s done that before.

I ran out once before and had to use a pouch of Ozzie’s food as a substitute and she was absolutely incensed for being downgraded to, well, an actually pouch of food. Her’s, you see, actually comes from a can. She knows this, and is convinced the can keeps the food in a more tasty manner than an actual flimsy pouch. Ozzie doesn’t really care. If it isn’t crunchy, he’ll generally eat it, after a bit of investigating.

First stop, on the way to get dog food, and bananas, was ACE Hardware. I didn’t really need anything there. I discovered that he was working today and just and to stop by and say Hi. So, I did. I was dressed very warmly, because the temp is still low 20’s, so I didn’t stay in the store for long. We did, however, have time to share stories about the favorite wrecks we’ve seen over the years. It was entertaining, and we had a good visit.

Yes, I needed to get bananas, too. For us, and for Diane’s Mom, Jean. I forgot that part.

Getting to ACE wasn’t very difficult, even though the side roads around us do not get plowed. The Buick, however, couldn’t care less. I backed out of the driveway, scraping away all the snow above the 8″ level as though it wasn’t there. There was no hesitation then, or at any time during the entire I was gone. So, I will not dwell on the trip. It was very uneventful as everyone I encountered seemed to be on their best driving behavior. It was a very nice drive in the snow.

After ACE I went to Safeway for the bananas. I got them quickly and was back on the street within a matter of minutes even though here were a considerable number of people in there shopping.

From Safeway I drove straight across Highway 30 to Wal*Mart where the less expensive dog food lives. That’s where we normally get it. The parking lot was just a mess of packed snow but, as I said, the Buick didn’t care. There was a female employee out front doing her best to collect shopping carts from the parking lot, but they were almost impossible to maneuver through the snow. A very tough job. I spoke with her a bit and wished her well with her task.

Inside the store I navigated unobstructed to the pet supplies and only missed the correct location by one aisle. Once located, I loaded 16 cans of Panzee food, and one 12-pack of Ozzie pouch food into the cart I captured upon entry. Back at the front I discovered a cashier who was unencumbered with a customer and was more than happy to ring me up and accept my money.

As I left the store, I left the cart by the front door and carried my purchases to the Buick because I did not want to add to the shopping cart employee’s burden. It was the correct thing to do. I’m sure she would have appreciated it had she been there to see, but she must have been out retrieving carts used by less considerate customers.

 From Wal*Mart I put my sights on Grandma’s House. That would be Diane’s Mom, Jean. We all call her Grandma, although to the majority of related humans in the area she is Great Grandma. That’s OK because she is already trained to respond to Grandma so we’ll stick with that.

Her driveway was a pristine sheet of unadulterated snow. No foot prints to betray her promise to not attempt, for any reason, to go to her mail box. Her driveway has a little slope to it so going down it in the snow isn’t something she should be doing. But, she will, given the chance.

Seeing no foot prints, I went to the mailbox to retrieve what was left, and it was empty. I was nearly stunned. Not quite, but almost. When I got to the front door Grams met me and explained that some wandering children were kind enough to retrieve the mail for her. I delivered her bananas, visited a bit, then headed on home.

The trip up Pittsburgh Road was going to be the final test for the Buick because it is notoriously bad, even on a good day. It proved to be no problem, as did the small hill on Hillcrest Road leading to our house.

When I opened the garage door the dogs began their greeting ritual that only ends when the interior door is opened and they are released into the wild. Generally, they run out into the driveway, then into the yard, where Panzee relieves herself in her special spot. Ozzie turns onto the sidewalk and makes three stops. One at the flowering Lenten Roses, another at some Lilly of the Valley he doesn’t like, and that I’ve been trying to kill since we’ve been her, then again at a bare spot that always seems to get his attention. The Lenten Roses, incidentally, always seem to be in bloom, year round. I don’t understand that. They should die like everything else when it gets cold, but they don’t.

After the ritual, we return to the house and settle down for the rest of the day, no matter if it’s morning or afternoon. Panzee’s greeting ritual is always a joyful event because she talks to us. It’s not a bark, or a howl, but just her voice which she wavers by rolling her jaw. It’s very entertaining and such a happy sound.

Diane’s better today. She’s been sick for a couple of months. First a bad cold, then a bad stomach ailment. Next week we’re going to Hawaii. I’m sure she’ll be perfectly OK by then. If she isn’t, we’re not going. That’s her incentive to get better. I’m sure if she isn’t, she’ll lie about it.

For lunch Diane made chicken noodle soup. It was my idea to use spaghetti noodles and it turned out to be way better than Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup. Great stuff.

For dessert I, by myself, made raspberry sorbet. I’ve never done that before. We had all the necessary parts because Diane found a recipe in one of the dozens of magazines she gets each month and bought then. I dug them out, she rediscovered the recipe, and I simply followed the directions. Did you know that making sorbet takes about six hours? I’m sure the sorbet served in restaurants are created using a really big machine, but doing it at home is an exercise in restraint. It was all I could do to not grab a straw and just slurp it all up. I knew that if I did that, however, that Diane would never forgive me, and I would have to let my doctor know so she could just go ahead and write out hat prescription for insulin.

I think that’s about it for the day. All that’s left is to watch the end of the Portland Trailblazer’s game against the Indiana Pacers. As of this moment, Portland is ahead by 6 points.

Sorry, 8 points, with 6:46 to go.

Oh, and it’s snowing again, adding to the existing 11 inches. Supposed to keep it up all night and lots of tomorrow.

Wheee!

OK. So they lost in overtime. Big deal.

Doctor Visits, Basketball, & Quilt Shows

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It’s Wednesday, in case anyone’s interested. The past two days have been inordinately long, in my head, so I thought it was later in the week. Then I looked at a calendar. I usually don’t do that because I typically just don’t care what day it is, unless it’s a day I’m scheduled to see my doctor. Or go to the lab to visit my phlebotomist … or the guy who runs the X-ray machine.

That’s what I did on Monday and Tuesday.

Monday I had a regular checkup with my doctor to whom I shared pretty much everything Diane told me to tell her. Normally I’m not very good at that because these appointments sneak up and catch me by surprise, so I go into the office totally unprepared. I don’t know what to say. So, I go out thinking everything is OK. Then I have to make another appointment when Diane finds out that I didn’t do what I was supposed to do. This time I tricked her. I studied a list of things I was supposed to share and got nearly all of them.

First, after my visit with the doctor, she sent me to the lab where I gave up five files of blood, and got an X-ray of my shoulder. I was brave because I watched the phlebotomist slowly insert an incredibly big needle into my arm, then search for an available vein that might willingly give up the required amount of blood. I didn’t flinch. Not once. All five little tubes were filled and I was released to visit the X-ray machine.

Since this lab is located in St. Helens, there was no wait for either event. I got to the Blood Chair before I had a chance to consider the possible complications of getting someone who really, really enjoys sticking needles in people vs. someone who is a bit tentative about it. I’ll take the one who enjoys it every time over he tentative one. Yessir.

As soon as I was released from the Needle Lady I was whisked into the big room for a picture of my shoulder. The entire process took about 3 minutes for both events. Gotta love a small town.

Then I went home.

Shortly after arriving, through the magic of technology, the results of all those tests were available for my viewing, in my account, on the Legacy Website. Nifty. Turns out all that blood revealed that the only thing “iffy” was my A1C which was a bit elevated at 6.1. That means, of course, that I’m no longer allowed to snack on candy throughout the day. So, I won’t. I’ll eat cheese, instead. And bacon. Lots of bacon.

Things were going well yesterday until the handy Legacy Web Site alerted me that my doctor realized that I was overdue for my pneumonia shot. Not only overdue, I’ve never had one that I can recall. So, it was back to the clinic so Kimberly, the doctor’s assistance, could give me the shot.

A little sidebar, here, to explain that it’s always a joy to visit the clinic because I get to see Kristin. Since she’s my daughter’s, Jennifer’s, sister-in-law, Kristin is almost a daughter. Always a pleasure, Kristin. I said that because she sometimes reads this when she finds herself without something meaningful to do.

Now, that pneumonia show. Kimberly did a good job and I left to go straighten up the Lion’s newspaper collection boxes, then went home to work on the old truck for a while.

Since the truck is outside, and the weather here is very cold right now, it didn’t take long for my hands to go numb, even though I was wearing gloves. I kept working, though, and managed to get the windshield wiper motor reinstalled, connected, and tested. I’m happy to report that it works. On both speeds.

After the motor was running, I went to work to get the new turn signal switch installed but the cold proved to be a bit much so I had to quit. Well, had I put it all together correctly, the first time, I might have finished it. Instead, I did it 3-4 times because I chose to try to remember where all those parts went, and in which order.

As a challenge, while tearing everything apart, I just put all the screws and loose parts into a cardboard box so I would have to dig around for what I thought the next part should be. Finally, had to resort to looking at the book I have that shows the proper order. With pictures. I do well with pictures.

Still, the cold drove me indoors when I started dropping things into the grass around the truck. I lost a couple of them and felt it was time to stop. I figured a couple of losses wouldn’t hurt, but three could potentially make it necessary to find replacements when it came time to stick everything back together. I felt this was especially important since I wasn’t sure if the missing parts are for the steering column, or not.

About the time I got back in the house, the pneumonia shot woke up. My arm hadn’t hurt until then, or at least I didn’t notice it, but when I attempted to take off my dirty work shirt, I was made painfully aware of where Kimberly had stabbed me. My arm started swelling up, and Diane insisted that I would “work it out.”

I tried, I really did, but to get my right arm up into the air required the use of my left arm to raise it. Still, I did it, sniffling the entire time. I asked Diane if her pneumonia shot hurt that bad and she said, “yes, but you never knew, did you?”

That told me a lot. Mainly, it told me to stop whining and deal with it. So, I did, in a manner of speaking. I kept whining, but toned it down a lot so that only I could hear it, most of the time. Those shots hurt. Don’t believe anyone who tells you they don’t.

Today the arm still hurts, but not nearly as bad as yesterday afternoon. It’s useable, which is good, because I committed to go help clean the church this afternoon in preparation for the 34th Annual Bethany Quilt Show which will be this coming Friday and Saturday. It’s got to be cleaned today, however, because tomorrow pretty much anyone who has made a quilt, at some point in their life, will ring it in for display. It’s quite a process to get everything set up.

Every year they have a featured quilter. I don’t know who it is this year, but last year it was a lady named Wynette, whom most of you know. I’ve heard many entertaining stories, from Jack, about the travels involved, all over the United States, to obtain the exact right color and pattern for her beautiful quilts. Having a wife who quilts isn’t for the light-hearted, let me tell you. So far, Diane hasn’t taken up quilting. Instead, she sells Avon. That’s an OK thing because it keeps me in cream that makes me feel pretty.

Oh! I almost forgot. My blood pressure was high when I visited the doc so now I’m on the hook to provide her with a daily log of checks I make. That will be due when I visit her on Valentine’s day. I’m going to put little heart graphics all over the log, and print it out for her. Kind of appropriate, don’t you think?

Yesterday, to end the day, I went to another of Lydia’s basketball games. They lost, 45-33, but it was a really good effort on their part. Lydia knocked down the girl she was guarding, a couple of times, which was awesome. Contact basketball. What fun.

Gotta stop now and see if I can get out of my jammies and into my clothes for the church cleaning evolution. Though she’s sick, again, Diane will also go because, as the WELCA President, she feels totally responsible for the quilt show. She doesn’t take that lightly.

Superbowl XLVIII

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Before I get going, let’s talk about Roman Numerals. They’re pretty to look at, sometimes, but why complicate a simple number like 48? It’s not too difficult to figure out the number until you get to “40”, because “X’s”, “V’s”, and “I’s”‘ are pretty straight forward. Then at 40, they toss an “L” in there to confuse everyone. Forty is “XL” which means 50-10. No, it’s -10+50 because the X comes before the L. Then, when you get to 50, it’s just an L all by itself.

Using that logic, I think 1 thru 10 in Roman Numerals should be something like IXX, VIIIX, VIIX, VIX, VX, IVX, IIIX, IIX, IX, X. That way you get the X in play before you are allowed to use it all alone, just like the L.

I suspect Roman Numerals are used in conjunction with Super Bowl games as a link to gladiators times. They are kind of like warriors, after all. However, I’m pretty sure those playing pro football never considered leaving college early to join the military. Maybe it’s all about timing, or that there is no longer a draft.

The Draft should be resurrected. I mean, how is it fair that the only people getting killed in conflicts are volunteers? I thought we were an equal opportunity country. I think anyone running for any position in politics should be required to have served in the military before being allowed to run. Just a thought.

Yesterday I registered on a new website. After giving all the particulars we got to the security question questions to be used for access. One of the first ones on the list? … “What was the first name of your first boyfriend?”

I was stunned!

I’ve never been in a situation where that question was ever asked of me. I know, it’s 2014 and OK for anyone to have a boyfriend, even me, I suppose, but, I didn’t know what to do. There were lots of other questions I could have chosen, even one asking to know the first name of my first girlfriend, but I was stuck on boyfriend. There were three questions I had to answer, and that was a choice on all three. Getting passed that first question, however, was proving to be difficult.

Ultimately, after a long delay, I entered “Jack”, so I could move along. For the next question I chose girlfriend and entered “Jack”. For the third, I selected pet, and entered “Jack”. I’ve done this before, you see, to check if the program you’re working with is paying attention. Generally, in my experience, they aren’t. You can use the same word, or name, for all of the security questions and register just fine. If you do that, you won’t have to remember a lot of different things. On some web site registrations I’ve been born, and married, in the city of “Jack”. One syllable. Easy to remember. I suggest everyone use “Jack” for all your registrations from now on.

How many times do you think Peyton Manning said Omaha yesterday? I’m guessing it wasn’t as many times as “omygawd”.

Joining us to watch the game were Diane’s Mom, Jean, Jennifer, Lydia, Brianna, Haley, and Jeran. Cedric joined his friends at the Columbia Theater here in town to watch the game on the big screen. The kids’ youth pastor, James, took them and stayed through the first quarter. Then he joined us at our house until half time. He’s a really nice young man and the kids love him. Thankfully, he wasn’t at the house when Diane handed me a bowl of cashews and said, just as everyone quit talking, “here are your nuts.”

She rendered me speechless, not an easy thing to do. Making it worse was that I was the only male in the room of 7 people watching the game so it was pretty evident about whose nuts she was speaking. Worse yet, three of them were barely teenagers. And everyone laughed. I think Jennie started it when she snorted. Had I done something like that I would have been told to knock it off, or that it was inappropriate, something I hear a lot, but no one said anything to Diane. Even her mother laughed.

Now, about that game … #1 offense against the #1 defense, as it should be, and the #1 defense won. A new record was set, in the process, when Seattle scored 12 seconds into the game without ever touching the ball. Well, Peyton didn’t touch it either, so I guess he can’t be blamed. It doesn’t get much better than that, for me.

I actually like Peyton, but I’ve never liked Denver. That comes from years of living in Southern California cheering for the San Diego Chargers. Denver was the enemy during those years, and it’s never really gone away. Silly, I suppose, but that’s just the way it is. For the same reason, I have a Portland Trailblazer T-shirt the has “Beat LA” on it. Any Blazer worth his, or her salt knows that means “beat the Lakers.”

Back to Peyton … though I wasn’t looking for the thrashing Seattle gave Denver, it was gratifying to see they were up to the task. I admit I was a little disappointed when Denver finally scored, then made a 2-point conversion. Was that to prove a point? Like, “See, we can do it!”

In the end, going for that two points allowed watchers to witness virtually every way a team can score in a football game … it was like a clinic …

  • a safety
  • a kick-off return
  • a punt return
  • a pass
  • a run
  • a pick-6
  • a field goal
  • a 2-point conversion

Did I miss any?

For food, Diane made a big pot of taco meat which was used exclusively for DIY nachos. It was, as it always is, very good. I love nachos. Whoever invented those should get a bonus, or something.

We also had nuts, as I mentioned.

Bachelors, Bachelorettes, and Football

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I gotta tell you that I’m not a big fan of “The Bachelor”. Mainly, as I’ve told Diane more than once, because to me it’s simply one network giant’s corporate approval of public promiscuity.  Yeah, I know. Considering what you can see in movies now days, a show like this is pretty tame. But! You typically go see a movie once but “The Bachelor” is on every week while he whittles his way through all the women who proclaim they are looking for true love. Personally, I think those women are just out for a good time, and work hard to make the final cuts so they can travel to all those cool places. Everyone knows that if you’re looking for true love all you gotta do is go visit a bar, or a gym. Maybe a church. I’m guessing on that, I admit, because I’ve never done that. I knew who I was going to marry when I was a senior in high school.

I feel same about “The Bachelorette”. Diane loves, them, of course, and I can actually see the appeal from an entertainment perspective. She takes notes of all the candidates, picking her favorites for both shows, and she nails the winner early on. She’s good.

Back to our house, because Diane is pretty involved in those shows, I’m not allowed to watch either of them with her. Apparently I make objectionable comments that detract from the cultural value the show attempts to purvey. So, whenever I enter the room, she pauses the TV and won’t start it again until I leave the room.

I get it.

Now there is a problem with the designated bachelor who tagged homosexuals, perhaps in error, as “perverts”. He used the singular version so this can be construed as totally wrong, but I think we all get what he meant. He’s a heterosexual or, more specifically, a non-homosexual.

Can I say that?

I guess I can, because I did.

Back to The Bachelor’s “pervert” comment … in case you haven’t heard, it was in response to an unfair question asking him, without warning, what he thought about the possibility of having a gay version of “The Bachelor”.

Thinking about that, for just a very short time, I have to admit I can’t think of anything I’d enjoy more than watching a couple of gay guys making out in a hot tub. That’s just me, you understand.

On the other side of that coin I have to admit that I wouldn’t have a problem with a gay version of “The Bachelorette”. I suppose most of you probably believe that makes me an extreme sexist, but I can’t help it. I yam what I yam. I prefer to look at is a me getting in touch with my gay feminine side.  Yeah, that’s it.

In this new world of political correctness, I’m sure I’ve violated all the rules. I can blame it on old age, I suppose, but these aren’t new beliefs. I’ve always been a heterosexual. I knew about homosexuality, of course, and I can honestly say it’s never been an issue with me. People are who they are. I’m OK with that.

Now I’m probably in trouble, right?

So …

Hey! How about those Seahawks? It was a terrific game and I especially liked the play where Karma made itself known when the 49er took the ball away from a Seahawk at the 1/2 yard line, just before his leg was bent in half the wrong way, and the referees did not see him laying on the ground, in plain sight, with the ball on his chest. Instead, players piled on top of him and a Seahawk wound up with the ball.

Interesting, right? Well, on the next play Karma jumped up and the Seahawks, attempting to punch into the end zone on a 4th down, fumbled the ball at the 1 yard line and it bounced all over the place, winding up on the 15 yard line, 49ers ball. Much better than the 1 yard line, right?

So, the 49ers took over and the world regained balance when the Seahawks intercepted on the 49ers first play. It ended as it should have, with the Seahawks going to their second trip to the Super Bowl in franchise history.

Go Seahawks!

I’ll leave you with that and with my hope that I haven’t totally offended any of you. Just keep in mind that I’m a self-professed fabricator and you shouldn’t believe everything I say. Still, some things shouldn’t be said, fabricated or not, so I didn’t.

Things With Engines and Golfing

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Now that I’m older,  it’s becoming apparent that I have absolutely no business, at all, having more than a couple of pieces of equipment with internal combustion engines. There are multiple reasons for that revelation, but the most important one was issued by Diane. She told me we had too many of them and should divest ourselves of those not deemed essential.

When this was pointed out to me, I got to looking around, and was astounded by the reality of that observation. I never gave it any thought during the collection process and now I have eight (8) pieces of equipment that require attention to ensure they run when I want them too. This takes time and effort I don’t really want to expect right now because I have other important things to do, like finish the baseboards in the house.

Still, the engines call to me, and require attention to ensure they will start on demand. Sadly, they require more attention than I’ve been giving them and they’re getting older, like me, and require more attention. I suppose that’s like me, too, if you ask the right person.  So, I’ve been working on these things with motors, except for the weed whacker and lawn mower, getting them running so the oil can be moved around a little.

To get the engines to turn over makes it necessary to ensure the batteries are fully charged. This is an ongoing effort because they reside in vehicles that don’t  have their electrical circuits stimulated very often. Once charged, the effort to achieve ignition is limited only to the proper flow of gasoline. Within minutes, usually, the engine starts and I let it run for a while before turning it off to await the next time I find it necessary to fire it up. As of today, I’ve managed to start seven of them, and I’m confident the eighth won’t be a problem. It doesn’t get started very often because it doesn’t have a battery installed. I need to put one in place each time I want to turn it on. That will happen tomorrow. Maybe. Unless it rains.

Today, instead of doing real work all day, I went golfing with my friends Doug, and Junior. Prior to that, however, I had coffee with the MELCA group at the Kozy Korner. They do that every Thursday morning at 0900. In attendance were Ross, Larry, Larry, Everett, and Loren.  We talked for an hour, drinking coffee non-stop, solving many of the worlds problems, then I had to excuse myself so I wouldn’t be more than 10 minutes late for my golf date with Doug and Junior. And Lyle, too.

As planned, I arrived at 1010 for our 1000 tee time. Doug and Junior rode in a cart while Lyle and I walked. It was a good day. We all golfed well. I even parred one of the holes, and I had the highest score, so I won. I had a 54 and the other three only had 53’s. Go figure that. That’s for nine holes, and the best I’ve ever done. Most of the time I’m over 60 which is important because it keeps my handicap nice and high.

After golfing we went to lunch at Burgerville. I had to do that because Diane told me to. She was going shopping and had already eaten her lunch. I had a Tillamook Cheesburger basket and it was awesome. I usually just get a simple Double Cheesburger but this time felt a need to ingest a slice of tomato and some limp lettuce.

I hope everyone had a good day. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be able to report some major progress on the baseboard project.

I hope.

NFL & Mass Transit

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It’s been a brutal and entertaining two days of football, to see who will be in the NFC and AFC Championship games, and I’m soooo glad it’s over. We only watched three games, but it seems like seven. Really. What made it brutal was that only one of the three games were won by the correct team, from our perspective. That was the Seattle Seahawks vs. New Orleans Saints game which Seattle won. Yea Seahawks!

The other two games, Carolina Panthers vs. San Francisco 49ers, and San Diego Chargers vs. Denver Broncos, just went totally the wrong way, even though we’re kinda 49ers fans, which will please Jeannie. Truthfully, we rooted for the Panthers for the sole reason that their backup quarterback is a Scappoose High School and Oregon State University standout. That would be Derek Anderson, #3. We always cheer for people from Scappoose.   It’s a rule. Since the 49ers won, however, we have a problem because they will be playing against the Seahawks next weekend, in Seattle.

Since we’re kinda closet 49ers fans, as previously mentioned, we’ll have difficulty figuring out who we want to win. Using basic logic, it’s a simple choice. Seattle is closer so the rule is we must be on their side. Then, again, our church organist, Jeannie, is an avid 49ers fan, and we have relatives who kinda live all around that the bay area in California, we may have to claim them as our choice for the win. At least in public. The reality is, however that we’ll be Seahawks fans till the bitter end.

The Chargers vs. Broncos game was crappy almost all the way. Because we lived in San Diego for a number of years, we have sentimental feelings for that team. Our tenure with that team was during the 70’s & 80’s when ex-Duck QB, Dan Fouts ruled. They were fun to watch. Alas, Denver won, so the Chargers will go home and New England will travel to Denver to see who goes to the Super Bowl. We’ll be cheering for the Patriots. Well, at least one of us will be.

Now that all the particulars have been reported I have to tell you about all the noise associated with those games. It wasn’t from the TV, but from the person sitting next to me throughout the games. That would be Diane, of course. She’s fleeing better after fighting a terrible cold for the past week, and her energy levels were up, so she felt comfortable with expending a lot of that vigor by yelling at the TV set when the referees didn’t make the right calls. It was very entertaining, and she was always right. The referees do pick and choose which infractions they wish to enforce, those they don’t, and when to do it or not. I’ve always contended that the officials have a meeting before each game to decide which team will be getting the bad calls. Personally, I don’t think the NFL is nearly as bad as the NBA in that regard. Instead of determining who gets the bad calls, the NBA officials shade their calls to ensure the proper team wins. That information, of course, is passed down  to them from the top bookies in Las Vegas.

I’m sure that’s true.

To end this I need to report an event about which I knew nothing until we watched the evening news. Apparently today was “No Pants Day” on public transit in numerous cities world wide.

How fun!

Riders with no pants on mass transit.

All day.

Of course, Portland was one of those cities. The event requires coordinators in participating cities. So, if you intend to join in, make sure you contact your local representative whose job it is to ensure those who participate actually wear underwear.

Although I no longer ride mass transit, I can only believe that most reasonable people are in favor of having two layers of clothing, not just one, between the seats they may possibly sit on, and a stranger’s ass whose owner might not be overly concerned with hygiene. I cannot imagine sitting on one of those seats, in a thin pair of panties, on which someone with crawly bugs all over them, may have been sitting a few minutes before. Granted, the news photos showed that most people were standing which poses another interesting problem because for those brave enough to take a seat, all those strange asses and crotches are about nose level.

I’ll leave you with that mental image.

It’s an interesting world in which we live, don’t you think?

Appliances, Helplines, and Basketball

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Hi – I forgot to share with you that yesterday I saved Diane a ton of money by dismantling the dryer and putting it back together again with no parts left over. It was a necessary evolution because it was making a pretty horrible noise. So, I got some screwdrivers, a putty knife, and  a hammer and went to work. Turns out you don’t need a putty knife or a hammer to dismantle a Maytag. A phillips screwdriver works just fine.

Three times during this process Diane asked, “would you like me to call Stan’s?” Stan, as everyone in town knows, deals with appliances of all kinds, fixing or selling them. I kept telling her, “No”, but I think she was concerned that I’d get it apart and not get it back together again.  After the 3rd “no”, she commented, “I know how much you like to take things apart, so I’ll quit and let you have your fun.” Which I did.

Once I got to a point where I could lift the top and rock it back to reveal the drum, the problem was obvious. You know those fins that stick out inside the dryer drum, that help flip clothes over, and cause socks and underwear to get all wadded up inside the elastic part of a fitted sheet so they just get warm, not dry? Well, on this model, those fins are held in place with long screws with a 5/16 hex head. One of those screws was sticking out about 1.5 inches allowing it to screech against the left side of the dryer wall. Since the screw also had a phillips slot in it, I cranked it back into place, then went around the drum tightening the other 7 screws.

Then I put it all back together and it ran just like new. Really. Diane was amazed and gave me a high five for being successful. She never really doubted me, though. I have a very long history of being able to dismantle pretty much anything and get it back together. Lately, however, when I remove parts I get caught up in the mystery of the troubleshooting effort and tend to not put screws and such in a common spot so I can find them later. So, in truth, her fear wasn’t totally unfounded. She even helped me by making sure all parts were in my hat.

The washer and dryer, by the way, are over 21 years old and still work great.

This morning I was working in the basement when Diane appeared holding the phone behind her telling me someone wanted to talk with me about my computer. I get calls like this once in a while from folks who seek help with ‘their’ computers, so I was intrigued to talk with this person about ‘my’ computer. The conversation went something like this …

I said, “Hello.”

With a distinct accent, which I couldn’t readily identify, he said,”Hello. I want your computer!”

“You want my computer?” I asked.

“Yes, I want your computer.”

“OK. Do you want me to bring it to you?”

“Yes. You bring it to me here.”

I said, “Where is ‘here’?”

“New York. You bring it to me in New York!”

“Are you going to send me an airplane ticket?”

“Yes. I will send you an airplane ticket to bring your computer to me in New York!”

“And you will pay for this?”

“Yes, I will pay for an airplane ticket for you to bring to me your computer in New York! I must first talk with my accounting department and obtain from you your credit number for security, you understand.”

“Yes, I understand. You want me to give you my credit card number so you can steal from me.”

“No! I do not want to steal from you. I want you to bring to me your computer in New York so I can fix it for you. Let me talk with my accounting …”

Before he finished I said, “Yes, you want to steal from me. I think, instead, you should give me your credit card number and bring to me your computer so I can fix it.”

I waited for a bit, listening for a response, but there was none. So, I said, “Hello” a few times and received no answer.

It was evident he had hung up on me which I thought was very rude. He did, after all, call me and I think we were actually moving toward common ground where we may have found a way to solve many computer problems throughout the world. Additionally, he may have been on to something in the way of providing transportation to and from distant repair facilities for that purpose.

I’m waiting for him to call back and apologize, but I don’t think he will. He didn’t even tell me his name. Perhaps I was the first person he’s ever called in his pursuit of other people’s money.

If he calls you, tell him Jerrie said “Hi,” and ask if he’s still wearing the orange underwear. We didn’t actually talk about underwear, but it’s always fun to ask unsolicited callers what color their underwear are. It takes the conversation a little bit left of their intended goal.

This evening we went to watch Lydia’s first high school basketball game. It was against the dreaded Indians of Scappoose, where both Diane I graduated. They are calling themselves the “Tribe” now because of all the hoopla about disrespect of Native Americans who might  have migrated from India when the land bridge existed between North American and Asia a long time ago.

A really long time ago.

Be that as it may, a statement that really doesn’t make much sense to me, it is no longer proper to use any reference to Native Americans, or Indians with regard to sports teams. The team who is having the toughest time is the Washington Redskins. Funny that I never considered it as a racial slur until it was painted in that light by someone who took offense. Actually, I still don’t see it as a racial slur, but what do I know?

Anyway, the St. Helens Lions JV team got tromped by the Scappoose Indians 30-15. They didn’t lose for lack of trying. It was a very physical game on both sides but the whistles favored the Indians, like normal. The Lady Lions took lots of shots, but they just wouldn’t fall. Oh, so close, but no potato chip.

Now were home, it’s about 12 degrees outside, and we’re waiting for a call from Lydia so we can get her home from school once the bus returns. Daniel and Jennifer are in a meeting that may make them unavailable for doing that. We don’t mind.

Leftovers & Football

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At this moment in time, I’m all alone, and Thanksgiving is officially over. It was really over about an hour ago, but I just now got to sit down because I had to do all the dishes from a lunch of leftovers for most of the attendees from yesterday, then I had to go to ACE and talk with Jack. He left a voice message for informing me that I was never available when he needed me. I left him a voice message but knew he wouldn’t listen to it because he was working and it’s illegal for him to do that while on the clock. So, I just drove down there and found him. I had to get a new battery for the garage door remote anyway, so it was a successful dual effort. Turns out he didn’t need me, after all, so it was a good thing I needed a battery

Diane, Jennifer, and Lydia are at a bridal shower for Victoria in Scappoose. Apparently she’s getting married sometime soon to a sailor, of all things, who is going to deploy sooner than expected. The wedding was originally scheduled for next summer, I believe, but I could be wrong as I have been know to be many times in the past.

Let’s see, I already informed everyone about Thursday, so all I need to do is remember what happened yesterday.

It began very early, like 0600 when the alarm went off. Yes, we used an alarm because Diane had to get me to the Hillsboro VA for an 0815 appointment with my new VA doctor. I’m in the clear on that because Diane made the appointment, not me. I’m guessing she wanted to get it over with early so we could get back home in time for the family dinner at our house.

Much of the preparation was done Thursday evening, after dark, when I made fudge and umpty-eleven deviled eggs using the eggs Diane boiled at some time in the past. I was going to wait to do them Saturday morning, after my doctor appointment, but the fudge only took about 20 minutes so I just did the eggs, too.

It was a full house yesterday with Don, Judy, Jack, Wynette, Daniel, Jennifer, Cedric, Lydia, Jeran, Jean, Diane and me present. It was organized chaos but fun just the same. We were all done eating in time to watch the Civil War game between the Ducks and Beavers. As expected, it was a really fun game to watch and the Ducks salvaged a little credibility by beating the Beavers by one point, 36-35. Close, but no banana for the Beavers. It was a fun game to watch with a room full of people.

After the game, people departed in droves, and quiet descended upon the house for the remainder of the day.

This morning I was up at 0700 for the dogs, then I slept in my recliner until 1000. Diane was up at 0900 making domestic noises in the kitchen. I ate a bit of breakfast, then went out to trim bushes around the house. It was Diane’s idea. She wanted the hydrangeas trimmed before the next rain, so I did it. Right here I have to add that I looked up the spelling of hydrangeas after I spelled it and it was correct. I was amazed. Still am.

I just watched Auburn beat Alabama 34-28 on a missed 57 yard field goal attempt by Alabama  with 1 second remaining in the game. Worst case was a miss then you go to overtime, right? Not today. The kick, though pretty good was a bit short. An Auburn player caught it in the back of the end zone and ran it back for a touchdown with no time on the clock. That 1 second went away as soon as the holder put the ball down for the kicker. I’ve never seen anything like that and it was awesome. One of the announcers commented that Alabama couldn’t defend the run very well because they only had linemen on the field, “a bunch of fat guys,” he said. I thought that was a bit crude of him, and it will probably be on the sports news for everyone to hear for years to come. Regardless of who was on the field, Alabama was simply beaten in an excellent game.

Now I’m watching Stanford whip Notre Dame. I will be switching back and forth between that game and the Texas A&M vs. Missouri game. I’m pulling for Missouri because I’m pretty tired of hearing about how great Johnny “Football” Manziel is. I just don’t see it because he’s actually only as good as his receivers and blockers. But, what do I know? I’m just an armchair QB from a backwater town in Oregon with a big TV and lots of opinions.

Now I’m going to stop and think aimless thoughts.

Golf, Food, and Computers

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Today I only did three things of significance, other than waking up to celebrate one more day on the green side of the grass.

I’ve been doing pretty well getting through the last 3-4 days without my morning nap. It’s been tough, but in that regard I’m a trooper. I guess. I don’t know how long that’s going to last, however, because my body is craving that nap. It’s becoming important. But, I have to admit that I see to get more things accomplished when I stay off the recliner in the morning.

Yesterday JP called me suggesting we play golf today and Diane was all for that. I think she likes me doing things like that because it’s good for me to socialize once in a while, and she likes puttering around without me getting in the way.

So, shortly before 1000 I headed for the golf course. JP and Doug were already there, like normal. They almost always get there first which makes it good for me because I don’t have to stand around and wait for them to show up. That was good this morning because it was cold, like 26 degrees cold. A great day for golf, right? Chilly, yes, but incredibly beautiful. Here’s JP shooting his second shot from the ‘ditch’ on the first hole. That white stuff is frost, not snow. What fun.

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My tee shot wound up on the top of the hill, a place where I normally don’t land. It was by far my best shot of the day. So, it started well. Even though I play badly, as a rule, I still have a great deal of fun. We all do because we’re not all that serious about it. Well, maybe Doug is a little serious about it most times, but today he found it a little difficult to do that. In an uncharacteristic display of really bad golf, he hit his golf cart twice. I suppose that, in itself, isn’t all that extraordinary, except for the fact that the cart was parked directly in front of him, as he addressed his ball for a fairway shot both times. I mean, it was right there in front of him, like a challenge he could not refuse. Hitting the cart means it had to hit the ball right off the tip of his club to make it go exactly 90 degrees from the directly he was aiming. Quite remarkable to do it once. Twice, in one game, is probably a course record. I’ll have to check and let you know. If I don’t get back on that it’s because Doug convinced me it probably wasn’t a good idea.

Here’s Doug waiting to tee off on hole 6 after setting that course record on hole 5.

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Here’s another shot from the tee on #9.

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After golfing poorly, I was asked to go to lunch with them. I called Diane and got permission to do that so followed JP to Longfellow’s in Scappoose. Longfellow’s has been in the same location for as long as I can remember things that happened a long time ago. Really, it’s been there my entire life. They have a grill in the middle of the cafe part on which they grill all the meat ordered by patrons.

When we entered the facility from the incredibly bright sunshine, I couldn’t see a darn thing. My glasses were dark, for one, and the lights were very dim, for another, combining to make it very difficult to find the restroom, for which I had a great need.

So, I just stood there, waiting to regain my vision. Finally, I saw Jerry, older brother of JP and Doug, sitting at a table toward the back of the room. I made my way there and asked directions to the room with a urinal. He pointed me in the proper direction, through the bar area, warning me about the step up. The bar area is one step up from all directions, a handy feature that ensures patrons of that area cannot easily navigate safely into the cafe area because they always fall down. Sadly, as I said, there is a step up from all directions meaning I had to step down into the restroom area.

Having safely made the trip, I captured the chair next to Jerry. JP and Doug sat across from us then out of nowhere appeared Mike, one of our old high school teachers. Mike is only a few years older than us, so it’s OK. We’re all friends now, instead of teacher/student where friendship is not an option. JP had a patty melt on sourdough, Doug had a hamburger, Jerry had the salad bar, and I had the chili dog special. Mike didn’t eat anything.

The burger patties for the two sandwiches were absolutely huge – 1/2 lb of pure, unadulterated dead steer. It really looked good and temporarily made me sorry I hadn’t ordered one of them. But, the dog was very good. Jerry’s salad looked good, too.

Once the meal was over I went back to Jerry’s house for phase two on Dolores’s computer. As you may recall, I spent 4 hours on it last Thursday, but didn’t finish what I started. So, I had some work to do. Now, I’m not a whiz kid with computers, but I can fake my way through some pretty tense situations. Another thing I (think I) can do OK is show others how to do the same. Dolores is a good student because she’s not afraid to push buttons to see what happens. Jerry, on the other hand, is a bit hesitant to push buttons. He did it, but I could tell it was a struggle. Bottom line, he pushed through like a good soldier and got it done.

I texted Diane to let her know where I was so I wouldn’t be in trouble by not showing up right after lunch. She was OK with that because she was heading out to get more yogurt, and other stuff. We haven’t had yogurt in a few days and I was going into withdrawal. It’s not pretty. I was missing “other stuff”, too.

Now it’s time to quit.

Refinancing Online

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It is done.

It seems like the process of refinancing our home has taken months, but it really only too about a month. I think. I’ve kinda lost track of time during all of this.

This all started when I checked to see if we could save any money by refinancing with a VA loan. Interestingly, we had a VA loan, but it was a Oregon VA loan. Not the same thing as a regular VA loan. You wouldn’t think so, but it is.

One of the differences is that a regular VA loan will provide 100% of the money. Oregon VA will too, but they require Primary Mortgage Insurance, hereafter known as PMI. That little devil is expensive, to the tune of $180 a month for us.

One of the loaners who contacted me about my VA query was Sean at Loandepot. We had a god experience and when it’s all said and done, we  have a lower rate, got some equity, and our payment went down $500 a month. Significant. And, it was all done via the internet. We never once met any of those people who arranged everything. Only the appraiser became a real person for us until it came time to sign all the documents. For that, a mobile notary was sent to our house with all the paperwork.

The signing was scheduled for 1900, but Cindy, the wandering notary, had printer issues and reported she would be a little bit late. When she arrived with her husband, Jon, at 1940, she told us the problem wasn’t really her printer, but her internet connection. She came with 220 pages of legal size paper which she went through with us, one page at a time. Jon sat on the couch watching the Blazer game with Breezie getting hair all over his pants. He didn’t seem to care.

We finished in about an hour but it seemed longer. Diane and I were both very tired by the end of it, ready for a nap.

Earlier today I went to Don’s Garage to do some more work on the truck. Done came up with a replacement Quadrajet carburetor which I swapped on the engine. You may remember that the old carb was held down with only three bolts, and that’s the case for the replacement. The difference is that the replacement has a good float so gas can’t just flush through to the cylinders without a little bit of control. The result is an engine that runs smooth, and starts with absolutely no problem. That’s amazing. Jerrie is very pleased.

Now all I have to do is fix the passenger side headlight, make the tail and brake lights work, resurrect the wiper motor, and it will be as good as new. Well, it needs new mufflers, but it’s needed those for a long time.

Now, how about those Trailblazers? They came back from 21 points down, in the 3rd quarter, to beat the Chicago Bulls for their 9th win in a row. Pretty cool.

Now I’m going to bed.

Thanks again, Don.

Get well, Kathie.