Category Archives: Remodeling

Scraping, Painting, and Mowing

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Today was another beauty. Cold, but pretty. I spent all of it painting the pointy end of the house, and the trim around the garage doors. Oh, and one window frame.

Doesn’t seem like much, does it?

Before painting, I did some more scraping on places that needed it. Oh, and I went to the Lions Club paper boxes to straighten them up. Today is Fred’s day, but I didn’t get it done yesterday, my day, so I had to do it  early this morning before Fred got there and found out. Consequently, when Fred did get there, he didn’t have anything to do, which is really the point. He’s much older than me.

Maybe that’s why I didn’t get much painting done. I did other stuff, first. Tomorrow that’s going to be different. I’m starting out with painting, and it’s going to get done. All of it. And, I have to get it done by 4 pm because someone told me that it’s probably going to rain tomorrow. That, and after 4 pm it starts getting colder and paint doesn’t work so well. It’s pretty stiff when it gets down around freezing.

There was something really important I wanted to share with everyone, but I can’t remember what it was.

One interesting thing today was when Diane sucked up all the leaves in our front yard. She used the lawn mower, something she doesn’t use very often. So, it was no surprise when I heard the distinctive sound of twirling lawn mower blades hit a rock. Shortly thereafter Diane called to tell me she ran over a rock and needed help. I went over and found a very large rock under the edge of the mower deck. The most interesting thing about that was the mower had drug this rock about 10 feet away from where it normally resides.

I stopped the mower deck and killed the engine so we could extract the rock. I had to lift the mower so Diane could pull it out. Then she went back to finishing up with a new awareness about how wide the mower deck is. She only had a couple of swipes to make to finish up. I watched her take off, beating on the button that engages the mower deck, trying to get it to start. When she turned around and could see me I pantomimed that she should pull the button, not push it. It was very entertaining.

But, you know what? She did a great job and cleaning up the front lawn was a huge help for me and I appreciate it.  I know her so well that I’m absolutely positive that she’s going to be upset that I shared that with you. It’s a nice change because normally I’m sharing semi-entertaining things I do, or do to myself. So, perhaps she will give me a little latitude with this indiscretion.

Here’re some of the leaves she cleaned up, minus the kidlets. They are Baylee, Jerrie, and Gilligan.

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Here’s what it looked like when she was done. DSC_8087 DSC_8094

Now I’m going to quit.

Ladders, and Soccer

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Today I lived dangerously and climbed a ladder over and over. I didn’t fall off even one time. It was amazing. I actually climbed three different ladders. One was a six-foot step-ladder and the other two are 24 foot extension ladders. They are really only 12 feet tall until they are extended. You probably already knew that.

The reason for the ladders was to repair parts of the eaves, on the house, and to scrape of a bunch of blistered paint that needed to be scraped off the windows and wood parts. Then I’m going to climb those ladders, again, carrying paint which I will be applied very carefully to all the wooden parts I can reach. All we have to do is pick the colors.

Right now the colors are red, white, and some sort of cruddy brown. It’s going to be a marathon and it’s going to be done no later than Friday.

Sounds good, but we’ll see how that goes.

The afternoon was spent driving to Rex Putnam High School in Milwaukie for Lydia’s last soccer game. Her team lost 3-1, but it was still a good game. The girls played very hard against a rough team who apparently had the referees in their pockets. Lydia got knocked down by a girl about twice her size and she fell on the ball. The other girl kicked Lydia in the leg while, supposedly, kicking at the ball.

Spilt milk, I know. It’s done, and bruises heal … but wait until next year.

It’s 9:05 pm now, and we vowed to call it a night at 9, so I better get going before I get in more trouble. Got more scraping to do in the morning, then painting in the afternoon.

More ladder time.

News at 11.

Oh! And Jerry & Nelda made it home this afternoon. They left our house Saturday morning and drove 400 miles before finding their way back. I think Jerry made a few more left turns than right ones. But, they’re safe, for now.

Doctors, Showers, Bunco, and Sunsets

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Monday, my most favorite day of the week … it was a bright sunny one, too, making it even better. And, it was cold. But I wore shorts anyway.

This morning I had a doctor appointment, here in town, just because I haven’t seen a local doctor for almost a year and there is a Oregon law that requires all citizens to do that, or else! So, even though I’ve been adequately cared for by the VA for all that time, I must adhere to Oregon Law or else move to Canada. It’s a rule. Another reason I had to see my local doctor is because she prescribes me meds the VA can’t. That’s actually a better reason than obeying the fictitious Oregon law.

The appointment was at 11:20 am so I had a couple of hours to kill after waking up from my nap. Knowing I’d have to wash my entire body before going to the doctor, I just left my jammies on and got to work on an inside project. This morning that was adding the moulding around the opening between the kitchen and dining areas which has been mould-less for 8 years. I’ve had the wood in the basement all this time, but it just never got to be all that important until this morning. That’s because the Bunco Babes were descending on our home and Diane was ready for them to see that I actually did things around here. At least once in a while. So, I did it. I actually cut the trim yesterday, but had to make an adjustment to the width of the opening , making it an inch narrower, so I wouldn’t have to rip the pieces that go on either side of the external wall part. I know. That doesn’t make a lot of sense, but that’s the way it is. The trim is 2.5 inches wide, and the area, on the outside wall, was only 1.75 inches wide. In order for me to avoid ripping off an inch of the trim, allowing for a 1/4 inch reveal, I decided to add an inch to the surface area around which the trim would be placed. That made it 2.75 inches, just enough for my 1/4 inch reveal. Clear as radar, right? Me too. I took a lot of thinking for me to get it all straight in my head, and to get the pieces all cut with a decent mitre so they wouldn’t look too bad from a distance. The mitres are near the ceiling so accuracy isn’t as crucial as it normally would be. Like, if it was closer to eye level, like a cabinet or something.

After getting that partially done I ran to my bathroom and got myself all wet and shiny, added some soap, bubbled up, and scrubbed my underwear really good. We have a new rule in the house, for me, that all showers will be conducted while wearing underwear in order to cut down on the amount of laundry Diane has to do. It works OK, but I can never get all the soap out of them and they dry a little bit stiff, making them more than a little uncomfortable after wearing them for a few hours. So, I’ve adopted a commando attitude and decided to not wear underwear unless directed to do so. When doing so, I also wear outerwear that do not have zippers. I’ve never discussed it before, but there have been zipper injuries in my past. They are absolutely brutal for the victim, and just hysterical for whoever draws the short straw and has to undo the zipper because the victim can’t. Simply stated, it’s a very agonizing way to perform a circumcision, even for those who have already had one. Enough said …

When the shower was done, I rushed out of the house and down the hill to the doctor’s office. I arrived at 11:15 am, as directed, got checked in, then sat in the waiting room, reading my book, for the next hour and 15 minutes. The lady sitting across from me, with the cast, had an 11:25 appointment. Finally, an attendant appeared and called my name. I jumped up and followed her to the scale, got weighed, then went to the designated room. The first question they asked was if I was still using albuterol. Since I’ve never used albuterol, in any form, I said, “no.”

This caused a bit if concern for the medical assistant, one of which was in either in training, or was doing an internship, so they asked for my birthday. I gave it, then they figured out that I was the wrong Jerold. It was the other Jerold they wanted. So, back to the waiting room I went, for another 10 minutes.

Then a different sort of medical gal called my name and, knowing I was the only Jerold in the waiting room, I acknowledged and followed her to the scale where I was weighed and measured. I’ve compressed 2 complete inches since 1975. I’m only 5’9″ now. Might have to start hanging by my knees from the tree out front, I guess.

When the weights and measure were satisfied, I was taken to a different room where my blood pressure was taken and I was told it was a bit high. I was asked a lot of personal questions, which I answered truthfully, then I was left alone for another 15-20 minutes before the doctor appeared.

She entered the room with Molly, a scribe, and didn’t look at me until I stood and offered her my hand. Even at a lowly 5’9″ I was taller by far.

The doctor sat down at the wall-mounted computer, and Molly came equipped with a big Dell laptop, and a chair. Together, they began entering all my personal data, as well as most of the data contained in my paper chart, which they just happened to have, even though just last week I was told I was not listed as one of their patients. That’s the reason I had the appointment, so I could clear that up, and get a scrip refilled. In all, I was in the room with the doctor, and Molly, for about 30-45 minutes. That’s about the longest I’ve ever been in the same room with a doctor for an appointment. Usually, they ask a couple of questions, then let one of their minions finish up. The exception is the nazi doctor at the VA who gave me my last nerve conduction test using large hypodermic needle with wires attached to his oscilloscope. He enjoyed his work a bit too much, I believe. I’m sure I heard him take a deep breath, and shudder, as he stabbed me with one of those needles.

I have a rash on my back, which the doctor checked. I obtained it in Mexico, I think, from little tiny ants that frequented the chaise lounges by the pool in which we spent most of our time. Now I learn that it’s possibly shingles, for which I had my shot after we got back from Mexico. So, I’m in flux, wondering what my lab test for varicella zoster IGG, IGM will reveal.

Upon returning from the doctor I was met by an angry grandma who wanted to know what took me so long at the doctor. Then she ran off to get Jeran from school because he was sick. When she returned she was still mad at me, even though I finished putting up the trim. Now all it needs is paint. Lots of paint.

After finishing my project, we shared a can of chicken noodle soup, then I took off for my board meeting with our Lions Club. For some reason I’m 1st or 2nd Vice President. I’m still a little mystified as to how that happened because I don’t remember campaigning. I was probably voted into that spot during one of the many meetings I’ve missed. That’s usually when stuff like that happens, when you miss a meeting, or three.

The meeting was over in 40 minutes. When I returned home the only place I could park was in the front yard. There were cars everywhere. Apparently the Bunco Babes don’t car pool often. When I entered the house, early, I made sure to get everyone’s attention and proclaimed loudly that, “the party’s over! Everyone out!” It got quiet for about 3 seconds, then everyone went back to what they were doing. They always do that. There are 12 ladies and they do this once a month so Diane only has to do it once a year, since they rotate that responsibility. They all know the routine, but still they give me their attention when I proclaim … the only difference is that the time between getting their attention and them ignoring me gets shorter each time. Next year they will probably ignore me totally. I’m used to that, however, and will proclaim anyway. While they are rolling their noisy dice and ringing their bell.

I must admit, that they have a lot of fun. It’s good for Diane to have this social diversion, and it’s a good way to get rid of all the wine we don’t like, or that has been sitting around open for too long. We start them off with the good stuff, then infiltrate it with the bad about half way through the game. Works like a charm. I think they do that in bars, too.

Lydia was sitting at Diane’s computer working on her homework when I got home, so I sat in the Man Room to keep her on track. That, and I wasn’t allowed anywhere else in the house BUT the Man Room. So, it worked out. Lydia needed a little computer help, too, which I’m always more than happy to provide. Sometimes I provide it even when people don’t want it. Tonight, it was needed. Lydia had to write an essay and create a PowerPoint presentation to go with it. Since she had never used PowerPoint, it was a bit of a challenge. Luckily, I’m a semi-expert with software people don’t understand and was able to boost her in the right direction. Though she stumbled, and griped about how boring it was then entire time, she was extremely proud of the results. So, mission accomplished.

Now the din has ceased because everyone left except Diane. She’s almost done cleaning up, and I’m done with this.

So, it’s bed time.

First, however, I must share last night’s sunset view.

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This is mainly to show Jewel that we get to see some of the pretty ones before she does from her perch on slopes of Mauna Loa which is, according to Wikipedia, the largest volcano on Earth. Nifty. Makes me want to move there. Really, it does. Though it’s the biggest, it’s lava is silica-poor making it very fluid which is a more appropriate way to say this volcano has the runs. It’s making the island bigger all the time and it’s amazing to see. While we lived in Hawaii, in the 80’s, we were always getting news of houses being consumed by flowing lava running down the mountain side. The slope is gentle so everyone has plenty of time to get out of the way, When we visited the island we were able to walk on the newly cooled lava and see the remains of cars and homes that it had captured on its journey to the sea. It’s worth a look.

Here’s what that very same sunset looks like by the time it gets to Jewel …

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Panzee Speaks, kinda …

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Just when everyone thought things were going along just fine, Jerrie woke up.

Three days had passed and he had no memory of what had transpired so I’ve decided to help explain. He doesn’t know I’m doing this. If he did he’d have a conniption fit because he doesn’t like anyone using his precious electronical equipment. He puts passwords on everything thinking we, who spend hours and hours all alone in the house, with nothing else to do, can’t possibly figure that kind of stuff. C’mon! What are we going to do when we’re locked up in the house with nothing else to do? Sleep? Pee on the rugs? Chew on furniture? Sure, we’ve done all of that, but after a while it’s just no turn any more so we started fiddling with his computers and we discovered a whole new world.

So what’s been happening with Jerrie and Diane? We have absolutely no idea beyond what we witnessed. As the spokesanimal for the group, I’ll do my best to get things accurate and in chronological order.

There were some familiar people at the house on Friday evening that would account for the flurry of activity on Thursday. That’s when Jerrie went out to his car, the old Subaru, and extracted his fancy cutoff saw from the back-end of it.  It was kind of freaky and reminded me of the time I watched one of my friends have puppies, only puppies don’t have sharp edges and pointy things. He pulled that thing into the garage, and I went and hid when he plugged it in. It doesn’t scare me … I want that understood up front. I just don’t like loud noises. Honest. Thankfully, he closed the door into the house so I didn’t have to listen to the incessant whine of the saw motor. I know that’s what it is because he’s used that thing before, and it drives me nuts.

Before he fired that thing, up, he left the house fora period of time around noonish. I later learned that he went to some storage facility to help liberate a truck load of newspapers which he, and his friends, delivered to the Lions Club newspaper collection container which is located at the St, Helens High School. I know, that’s a lot of detail coming from a dog that has a limited understanding of the language spoken by most of the people with which I’m familiar. A lot of what I figure out is strictly conjecture because lots of the speech I hear is a little like white noise so I think what I really do is read minds. Really! I do.

Shortly after he returned home, disturbing me from a perfectly wonderful nap, the master of the house arrived and made him eat lunch. I’ve almost given up on begging for food any more because he rarely gives me anything … little teeny bits of things I can barely taste they are so small. What a waste of time.

Anyway, they ate, something, didn’t give me any, then he went to the garage and ignited the noisy saw. He quit about 4 pm or so and they left to go watch Lydia play soccer. I’ve tried to tell them that I think it would be really fun to go watch Lydia play a soccer game, but the words just won’t come to me, and they can’t read minds like I do. I stayed home and took a nice long nap.

It appeared that what he was doing was take small pieces of wood that he called baseboards, cut them, then try to put them back together so they looked like they belonged where he put them along the floor. He didn’t nail any of them down so I suspect he’s not done fiddling with them. After doing a little investigative investigation, listening to him talk with his female associate, I learned that they were expecting company at some point on Friday. That turned out to be true, incidentally, but that’s coming up in a minute.

I slept the rest of the day so don’t know what happened the rest of the day until I was allowed to exit the house into the back yard and search for a new spot to relieve myself. It’s kind of humiliating, you know, o have to crap and pee in public. But, one can get used to pretty much anything. Especially if you’re a dog. Like me. After doing my ‘thing’, I comeback in the house, trying to avoid the annoying little black dog who spins in circles like a little maniac in anticipation of the bed time treats we always get. I just sit calmly on the floor, waiting to perform my stupid dog tricks for a little pittance of a treat. But, he seems to enjoy it, so I humor him.

On Friday, they both left the house, a couple of times. The first time they came back the master was a little sad, so he told her he just wasn’t going to spend $100 on a couple of used, stained chairs. He then told her that if she wanted chairs, get new ones. It was really funny because she grabbed her purse and keys and almost ran to the car telling him to hurry up. Apparently they went to Richardson’s, right here in town, who sells furniture made in Indiana (so I’m told), and bought two new chairs to fill the void created when the perfectly good couch they had was carted away, along with the dining room table, a couple of weeks ago. I know is was Richardson’s because later that day they delivered the chairs and I heard one of the delivery guys say that name. When they got here, I barked, like I’m supposed to, then I licked their hands because they seemed to be pretty nice.

The chairs look OK, if you like chairs. The master really likes them, a lot, and said the red color actually does look OK with the carpet in the living room. I won’t be sitting in them so I really didn’t care. I took a nap.

About 3 pm, as close as I can tell, two folks I’ve met before showed up at the door. I looked out the Man Room window and saw that they arrived in a funny looking van that they use to travel all over the United States. The master, and he, were very happy to see them. I believe they were Jerry and Nelda Somethingorother. I’m not big on last names. Sorry.

All of them either sat around the table while the master worked in the kitchen, making something for the pot luck that was happened later that afternoon. It’s my understanding that the pot luck was attended by members of a Classic Winnebago Club that included Les, Sophie, Cliff, Susie, Terry, Carolann, Jim, and Kim. I heard someone say they were all staying at the Elks Club off 6th Street, just a hop and a skip away. With Jerry and Nelda, master, and him, there were 12 people. I don’t know what happened because I was forced to go down to the creepy basement with the annoying little black dog. They think I’m OK with that, but I’m not. I spent the entire time crouched on the top step, just the other side of the door, listening to all the fun they were having. The food smelled really, really good. I didn’t even have water, and my food bowl was just about 5 tantalizing feet from where I was crouched.

Finally everyone left and I was released and allowed to go out front to tell everyone ‘bye’. Then we all went to bed.

Saturday morning I woke him up at 0700, I think, because I was hankering for a touch of canned food which I get as soon as I come back in the house from my morning trip to the yard. Then I took a nap. I barely got to sleep before I heard Jerry and Nelda again. Interesting. I guess they slept in the driveway, which I thought was a little odd until I learned that they actually slept in their van, in the driveway. Big difference.

They sat around drinking coffee, talking, laughing, like I wasn’t even there. Nothing fell on the floor right away, but I feigned interest for longer than necessary before going in to the Man Room to take a nap. Sleeping wasn’t in the cards for me, however, because of all the racket they all made. Then, wouldn’t you know it, all the people from the night before showed up again. All the food had been removed from the refrigerators and reheated as necessary, in anticipation of their arrival, but no one told me. Then I was sent to the basement again. It’s getting to be quite a routine, me going to the basement. The cat, however, gets to go outside and run all over the neighborhood, without supervision! Is that fair?! I think not!

There were gaps in activity the remainder of the day. J&N left, then the master and he left, and they didn’t come back for hours. Really! Hours! Thankfully, they left the patio door open so we could go out and bark at something once in a while, but that’s a long time to be left alone. When they returned they told us all about the fun they had down town on the St. Helens Haunted Tour. Sounded fun. They even went out for dinner after that, extending the night even more than necessary. Then they went to the Elk’s Club to sit and visit in Les and Sophie’s new 1989 Winnebago Superchief. Apparently it’s quite a rig. Really big and nice, we were told. Plenty of room for a dog, or two.

When they got home they went to bed after allowing me into the yard one last time.

Today had a normal beginning, then something changed because only the master left. Since it’s Sunday, I suspected they would both leave for church, but that didn’t happen. She left early and took Jennifer, one of my favorite people, shopping for her birthday. I guess Grandma Jean, another one of my favorite people, went too. That left him home alone with pretty strict instructions to leave the power tools alone. So, he went outside, grabbed a ladder, and used it all the way around the house to reach areas that needs to have paint scraped. I was proud of him because he didn’t go on the roof, and he didn’t get the tall ladder to reach the really high spots. He knows I can dial 911, and bark, but doing that just doesn’t interest me much. I could have gone outside with him, if I wanted to, but I didn’t. Instead, I stayed in the house and took a nap.

In the afternoon, about 1:30, he left to go pick up another couple of my favorite people, Cedric and Jeran, and took them to the movie down town. I smelled popcorn on him when he got home. I love popcorn. Cedric was with him. Not long after they got home, the master arrived. Jennifer showed up a couple of hours later to get Cedric. Lydia, another one of my favorite people, was with Jennifer. She scratched my ear. I love that. Then they left and I took a nap.

Now it’s time for bed and I need to go outside and prepare myself for the series of tricks I make him do before he gives me my treat.

Homecoming and Other Stuff

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Just so you know, there are people in the north-east who still talk to me. Once in a while. That’s not relevant to this entry. It’s just something I was compelled to share.

Today I sanded about 1700 board feet of moulding of various kinds, then applied two coats of clear polyurethane finish. The reason it was 1700 feet is because I did it twice. Not because I did it wrong the first time, but once to make it pretty, and the second time between coats of finish. It wasn’t 1700 feet, either. More like 100 feet. It just felt like 1700. And, I didn’t put a finish coat on all of it. Just the trim around the three door ways in the entry hall. Things are looking good because I’m ahead of the imposed timeline for completing this project.

Diane worked on the hutch, in the garage, half the day, then painted the front porch a nice, pleasing light gray. It’s cement, so gray is the perfect color. It was red when we moved in six years ago, but it turned gray shortly thereafter. Useless information, I know.

The hutch is something we’ve had for a long time and it was getting a little bit beat up from some sort of furniture abuse. We’re not sure if it’s something that other pieces of furniture can catch, or not, but Diane has the solution. The hutch is maple and I just happened to have an un-used can of maple stain which Diane meticulously applied to the entire structure. She also removed all the brass hard wear and placed them in a solution of vinegar, baking soda, and something else, and a piece of aluminum foil. It’s a holistic metal cleaner that really works great.

The porch got painted while the stain was drying. By the end of the day, Diane was tuckered out to the point where she settled for a hot bath in lieu of a soak in our broken hot tub to which she only made a passing reference. After she headed for the tub, I went to the garage and applied a coat of paste wax to the hutch and made it really shiny. Mae my arm’s tired, but it was a surprise for Diane so that’s OK.

My arm, the right one, is a mess. It’s that way because I keep forgetting that it’s a mess and move it the wrong way which makes the mess worse. It works just fine for anything that needs to be done below my waist, but if it’s higher than that, it’s useless. To overcome that restriction I have a method that involves using my left arm to relocate my right arm to a position above the point where I can’t move it by itself, then it’s perfectly fine. It’s weird, I know, but it works. I bet there are some of you out there who know exactly what I mean.

At this very moment in time I’m watching unranked University of Central Florida play even with #8 unbeaten Louisville. Right now it’s 31-28, UCF. It’s the first time Louisville has been behind in a game this season. Gotta love the underdog, unless they are playing against the Ducks. Or another Pac-12 team.

We talked with Linda tonight and discovered that things are going well for both her and Tom. We made a date for lunch at BJ’s which is located on the corner of Cornelius Pass Road and Cornell Road. I think. It’s a new one. The time to meet is 11:30 am next Monday. Everyone is invited. If you get there first, get a big table.

Tonight is Homecoming for both Scappoose and St. Helens High Schools so both towns are whooping it up at their respective stadiums. Jack and Wynette are at the Scappoose game, and Cedric & Lydia are at the St. Helens game. Diane and I are home because we forgot it was homecoming day. It’s cold out there, anyway, and we’ll get the scores tomorrow. Still, it would have been fun to watch in person.  Maybe next year. It’s also good to be warm. Lydia got all dressed up for the dance, after the game, purple nose and all.

That’s it.

4-0 and 3-3

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Just a quick note to let everyone know that I didn’t make any mistakes today. As a matter of fact, Diane even admitted, out loud, that I made a record 4 correct decisions while within range of her senses. Those are the only ones that count. If she doesn’t see it, hear it, smell it, or taste it, it doesn’t count, even if I’m right.

That’s a rule.

I’m really about 17-2 for the day, unofficially, but 4-0, officially, is good. Right?

The activity for today was to finish sanding the entry hall door moulding, which is in the basement on my work bench. Well, it’s not really on my work bench because that’s covered with all kinds of ‘stuff’ that used to be hanging on the pegboard behind the bench. What I actually have, is a pair of nice saw horses on which I placed some wide boards, that used to be shelves in the house next door. I put the moulding on those boards and applied a coat of liquid plastic. Tomorrow I will reinstall them on the door openings. Then I must work on the baseboards. I’m on the clock because we’re expecting visitors next week and I’ve been told that if the woodwork isn’t completed before they show up, I have to move out. If it comes to that, there’s an off-chance I will be allowed to stay in one of the Winnebagos. Hopefully its the one that works.

There is a brewing football dynasty at St. Helens High School. The varsity team isn’t doing so well, but the Freshman team is unbeaten. Not just this year, but for the past 6 years, when most of them started playing together in the third grade. I can’t find any information about them on the internet, but Jennifer, my beloved daughter who knows all, and has two children who attend her alma mater, told me that Cedric, a sophomore, goes to all the games but gets bored after the first half because the score is usually something like 50-0. I plan to go to their game next week, if it’s home, so I can give an accurate report. Sounds promising.

The varsity soccer team played a tough game this evening. Jennifer said they had 4 over times and ended in a 3-3 tie. I didn’t know soccer had over time. I thought the score was whatever it was at the end of regulation, whether it’s 0-0 or, whatever. Apparently not. So, there’s another aspect of soccer I apparently do not understand. In order to help with this terrible deficiency, that cannot be resolved with creative chemistry, I’ve decided that I’m going to make my own rule book based on what I’ve seen happen at the games we’ve attended. Maybe it will make sense, then. I’ll even share it and perhaps help some of you obtain a more in-depth knowledge of the confusing world of soccer.

Not today, however.

It’s late and I’m tired.

Oh! The cat was out only about half an hour before zooming in the patio door when I opened it. Apparently she didn’t want to spend another night outside. Don’t blame her. There are coyotes, and bigger cats out there.

Wow! I  have to report that I just ran my spell checker and it didn’t find any erors. How about that?

Painting, Soccer, and Comcast

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This is my 455th entry. It’s amazing because you’d think I’d’ve used up all the words I know by now, wouldn’t you? Another amazing thing is that I have over 100 friends on Facebook. I had no idea that I actually know over 100 people. I even recognize most of their names. How about that?

Today I removed all of the wood trim from the dining room and entry hall, then Diane and I painted the walls. It was such a beautiful day, seriously, that we opened windows, doors, and more windows, to air out the house.

Then we locked the dogs in the house and left to go watch a soccer game at Liberty High School. Lydia’s team lost 5-0 because of some terribly biased calls by the umpires, or referees, or whatever you call them. For instance, whenever a member of each team collided, if they both fell down, he blamed Lydia’s team-mate. If only one fell down, regardless of which team, they blamed it on Lydia’s team-mate who was closest to the mishap. Then, whenever the ball got past the St. Helens goalie, they gave the other team a point. I mean, what’s up with that? How is the St. Helens team supposed to feel good about themselves if they do that all the time. Seems like both sides should get a point, or they should just give the visiting team a couple of points to start with because they had to ride a bus to get there. Fair is fair.

The dogs were very happy when we got home. Just like always.

Some things just never change.

That’s a good thing.

Now I’m going to watch TV with my first wife because our current DVR is full of shows we have to watch before Thursday when a friendly Comcast employee will be here between 10-12 to install the X1 system. I have no idea what that is, but it involves a new kind of DVR that allows the user to record 4 shows at once while watching a 5th show. With this device we are assured of never getting anything done around the house, ever again.

I need to rest up for this.

Living On The Edge With iOS 7

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Diane’s now living on the cutting edge of technology with brand spanking new iPhone 5C, complete with iOS 7 installed. It arrived yesterday, the first day they were made available. It’s a yellow one, like this …

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Very pretty, but it won’t fit in her little Hello Kitty cover, so I guess I’ll have to use it since I inherited her old phone. It’s an old iPhone 4, replacing my iPhone 4S, a newer one, which I broke to smithereens. It still works, but there’s still a distinct danger of one cutting one’s fingers while scrolling through the various screens.

About last night … I was up past midnight working on that stupid phone, the new one, trying to get everything set on it so it was explicitly Diane’s. Until then, we shared an Apple ID which we used to buy books and other fun stuff. The danger in that, however, is the back-ups. Yes, it’s handy backing up to the internet, and being connected in a manner that allows us to share calendar entries, photos, contacts, and documents from a common source, but there’s danger in that. Especially with Contacts. Her list is totally and socially different from mine so sharing that aspect has resulted, almost, in the need for me to seek safer living conditions. Seems like things get a little mucked up when the source data is manipulated by more than one interested person, making duplicate entries.

Therefore, I made a decision to electronically divorce her, as there’s no need for a lawyer, allowing us both to be responsible for our own information. We’ll see how that works out. We now each have our own Apple ID and it only took me about 6-7 hours to make the magic happen. I have to admit, it was a mental workout, but it returned me to my days of desktop support for pre-286 PC’s that took forever to boot up and doing any changes to it required you to boot it more than a few times to get it done. Anyone remember those days?

I know I’m revealing my age, and I’m really happy that I had that experience. I was even trained on the incredibly complex OS/2 operating system when there was a question about whether or not the company would install Windows 3.0, or not, on their desktop systems. What a time that was and, oh my, how things have changed since then.

Enough history. Now, back to all this new, frustrating ‘stuff’.

This morning I spent another 3 hours fiddling with various devices, iPads, and phones, working to get them all on the same page, separately, as previously mentioned. We each have our iPads and iPhones which makes life pretty nice. In debt, but nice. Instead of sitting in the Man Room on our respective computers, back to back, kinda, sending emails back and forth, we can now sit next to each other on our couch/recliner and text each other. The only verbal communication we have is to clarify the mood with regard to various texts, to ensure nothing is taken out of context. Got it? It’s like giving us an eye-to-eye moment to ensure the last text that was in ALL CAPS, was sent as meant.

That’s not true, of course. We communicate very well, actually. Having ‘devices’ like the phones and pads just gives us more and varied opportunities to communicate in the modern world. The iPads are really going to come in handy when we head for Mexico next week.

Hey! Idaho State and Washington State are playing each other on the Pac-12 Network. The network that Comcast won’t share with anyone. Go Vandals … I can say that because one of my numerous niece’s sons, Tyler, is one of those. Tyler has curly hair. Thought you should know.

Diane just told me I have to get a new DVR from Comcast next week because she’s going to take a hammer to the one we have. I’ll take pictures, if she does that. Might be fun. She’s pretty emotional about it.

It’s 8:30 pm and I’m just now getting around to supper. Since it’s late, I’m going lite – 2 bananas and a bowl of pretzels. Diane’s just having pretzels.

Sorry about all the distractions. I’ll try to remain on track the rest of the way, wherever this thing is going.

As I mentioned, I spent  hours working my ‘new’ phone this morning, but didn’t quite get it done before it was determined that I needed to go to the church and see if the lawn got mowed. Someone did it so I didn’t have to. Instead, I went to work removing an over abundance of very large weeds from the Tom Ahlf Memorial Rose Garden under the church’s reader board. Then I grabbed a pitch fork kind of thing to work up the dirt, and remove dead weeds and grass from around the outside edge of the garden. About that time, Diane appeared with her Mom, Jean. Diane was there to clean the church, something we tend to do once in a while. Mom came out with clippers and started whacking away at the rose bushes, doing a little bit of ‘Zen Pruning’. I love to ‘Zen Prune’ anything that grows. You know … stand back and look at the chosen victim, tip your head back and forth like a bird, to get a good view of what needs to go away, then just start cutting off branches until you feel good about it. simple. No plan. It’s just an emotional response to nature.

Once that was done, I went into the church and took the vacuum cleaner away from Diane. She loves it when I do that because those things always ruin her back. So I try to do that job whenever I can. From there, I motored to help with the last few things that needed to be done with The Bathroom.

… The Vandals are having a little difficulty, down 28-0 …

As you may recall, we got the wainscoting installed, then waited until it was painted. That was done a few days ago, so all we needed to do was re-install the sinks, caulk some corners, and put the hardware on the tub. The caulk was the last thing we did and it was guaranteed to be dry in three hours.

In the middle of all that, Diane arrived with my left over meat loaf lunch. I delayed a bit too long so Diane and Jennie sent Lydia to tell me that if I didn’t go in to eat it right away, they were going to let her eat it. That was a credible threat because Lydia is a food cleanup specialist. Everyone knows not to get between Lydia and anything edible that catches her eye. It’s dangerous.

So, The Bathroom is FINISHED ! I think. Nothing leaks, so it has to be done.

Now I have to figure out something else to do.

Now I’m going to quite and play with my phone for a while and leave you with some photos that just showed up on my computer.

This is Rick and Jodi’s side yard that includes the Hot Tub House …

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He was thinking ahead with the wheel chair access, with the challenge at the top, just to make it interesting.

And, this is Jodi’s car …

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Pretty nifty. I think the graphic on the hood is a reference to the driver as One Hot Lady, which is true, but every time I see it it always comes out (in my head) as Titsafire. Sorry, Jodi. Had to get that out there …

Now I’ll quit … but not before reporting that I like the new iOS 7 features from Apple. Very nifty stuff.

The Bathroom, and A Potentially Hairy Bagel

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Though it’s difficult for me, so early in the morning, the numbers will resolve if I just stare at them long enough … Yes! it’s 0645 and, as a friend recently told me, “I woke up this morning sucking air, so it’s going to be a good day.” I agree. I’m going golfing later.

But first, I need to catch up a little … so where to begin …

Thursday was two days ago so I’m just going to have to make something up for what happened that day. There’s nothing on my calendar, that Diane insists I keep current so I’ll know what I’m supposed to do next. She’s very adamant about that. I’m usually pretty good about doing that so, a few days down the road, I can look back and see what I did. It helps me separate fiction from fantasy. A little bit. Since Thursday is blank, that means I either really didn’t do anything, or I was on a secret mission to check up on the aliens I know who live in the old rock pit in Scappoose.

Or, I might have been working in The Bathroom with Daniel. I actually think that’s the one because I usually have some sort of residual memory of visiting the aliens. I’m not totally sure where they’re from but it must be a pretty progressive planet because they go through beer and cantaloupe like there’s no tomorrow. That’s another story. We’re working in The Bathroom.

Since I have no clear memory of the steps taken, I’ll just make stuff up based on the last results I saw regarding this project.

When Dahlgren’s opened, I paid them a visit to get the necessary supplies needed for finishing The Bathroom. Yes, for finishing The Bathroom. We’re that close. What I obtained was baseboards, wainscoting top rails, and shoe moulding. And glue. Well, it’s called ‘construction adhesive’ but it’s really glue.

I believe the goal for Thursday was to finish the project. Of course that didn’t happen. I know this is true because I was over there working again on it yesterday. So, on Thursday, we probably only got the baseboards in and a couple of walls of wainscoting before we simultaneously ran out of glue and pre-cut wainscoting. It was kind of interesting the way that worked out because we were absolutely positive we had plenty of both. Since we didn’t, we decided to call it a day and go, perhaps, take a nap, or something. Normally, when I’m not given clear directions, I simply rearrange things in the garage which gives me a sense of accomplishment even though it serves no purpose. It’s easy to do when Diane’s not here and her car is gone because it give me a lot more room to stack, and restack things. Then, when she returns she usually looks at her calendar and, not seeing anything scheduled for me, looks around and says with a bright smile, “Honey, you moved something! I’m so proud of you.”

She does that because I started doing something similar to her with regard to her hair. You know, when a woman gets her hair cut, no matter how little or how much, it’s imperative that her significant other immediately notice, and express how amazing removal of a few hairs can make such a difference. Being unaware of those rules, early in our marriage, I suffered a great deal because I didn’t notice many times in a row, over a rather long period of time. So, we had a discussion about it one day during which the rules were defined in great detail, in a manner that firmly implanted my need to ‘notice.’ It worked OK, for a while, then I discovered I’d missed a few alterations about which I was supposed to offer compliments, so I devised a new approach that never fails. In fact, it worked so well, that I was asked to stop doing it.

It’s simple … whenever Diane and I are apart for more than an hour, the first time I see her, no matter where it is, I looked at her in wide-eyed wonder and said, “you look amazing! Did you have something done with your hair?”

In the beginning her responses started out, “no, silly. I just went to the store.” That quickly devolved into, “OK, knock it off. You KNEW I just went to get the mail.” So, I was given permission to cease and desist. Oddly, however, whenever she got a haircut after that, I noticed. So, in a way, I trained myself to be a little more observant, I guess.

Friday morning it was overcast again, and almost looked like it might rain. You know, those summer thunder-storm type rains. Loud and wet. But, it didn’t, so Daniel and I were able to use the power tools outside to finish cutting the wainscoting pieces needed to cover The Bathroom walls. First, however, he met me out our house in order to get the old compressor Jack gave me, years and years ago, so we could use nail guns to help stick everything to the wall and floor. We stopped by ACE to get enough glue to finish the project.

The first thing we did was cut the top railing and the shoe moulding, and made them fit precisely in their assigned spots. It was very satisfying and exciting for both of us because these final actions were signaling the completion of the project. Seems like we’ve been working on this thing for months. No, years. We actually have been working on it for months.

So, with the exception of the need to paint the wainscoting, and reinstall the sinks, we’re done.

Yesterday evening ended with an exceptional meal of fresh salmon at the home of our Lion friends, Hank and Lynn, Kendra’s Mom & Dad. Hank is a District Representative with the Oregon Lions and a pretty darn good salmon cooker, too. So, he lured us all to his home with salmon in order to conduct a meeting, which was perfectly OK. Both Diane and I had a great time. We got to meet people from throughout our district and hear about some of the amazing things their respective clubs accomplish with just a few people.

Now it’s Saturday morning and a frightening thing just happened to me. I took a break from this in order to make a pot of coffee and toast a bagel, to ensure I am properly fortified for this morning’s game of golf. Jim always does 18 holes but my body is tuned to only 9, so it’s going to be a work out. As I was sitting back down on my half of the couch, two bagel halves balanced precariously on top of a paper towel in my left hand, I was almost completely settled when one of the halves slipped neatly to the floor. When it slipped, everything went into slow motion for me as I watched helplessly as it fell, then roll away from the couch gathering bits of dog and cat hair as I chanted the mantra I’ve developed for just this specific moment … “not on the cheese side, not on the cheese side, not on the cheese side.” And it worked! When it stopped, it remained in a vertical position for just a fraction of a second too long for comfort, then slowly fell over on the un-toasted side. The other side was smeared with cream cheese which, in turn, was covered with bacon bits that are normally used on salads and such. I warm then in the microwave for 15 seconds before applying them to the cream cheese. Not only does it look pretty, it’s pretty tasty. Sadly, when a bagel is adorned in this manner, any jarring movement, like falling to the floor, will dislodge the bacon bits allowing them to escape the grip of cream cheese and fall to the carpet as it rolls. Consequently, there was a brief contest between me and the dogs to see who could capture the most bacon bits before Diane found out. It wasn’t really a contest because I let the dogs win. It would take me too long to pick off the cat and dog dander for me to really enjoy the few that found themselves dislodged. Without bothering to look, I ate the fallen half without even looking at it. I figured if any hairs were long enough to notice, I could just floss them through my teeth. Turns out, there weren’t any, now I must go brush them.

I need to do that because my alarm just went off alerting me of the fact that I must prepare myself for 18 holes of golf. I do that by sitting in one of the dining room chairs, standing up, walking around behind the chair, taking a pretend golf club from the pretend golf club bag, and swinging it a few times before returning it and retaking my seat in the pretend golf cart. Since we’re doing 18 holes, I must do this a minimum of 123 times to emulate what is bound to happen on the golf course.

If I survive, I’ll let you know how it went.

Yogurt, Bananas, My Barber, and 9/11

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Here it is, 0636 in the morning, and I’m not napping. This doesn’t bode well for a normal day. I think at least part of this problem is that we have no more bananas, and no more yogurt, the only two things in my life that I can count on to be the same for me everyday. I must sit here, bananaless and yogurtless, staring out the window at a crystal clear sunrise. It’s actually not really crystal clear, but more like one of those paintings you see that have layers of hills superimposed on each other that simply fade to sky in the distance. It’s quite pretty, but not nearly as attractive as a firm banana. Or a raspberry Tillamook yogurt.

The street lights are still on in the lower neighborhoods, and there are cell towers scattered amongst the trees, poking their heads up, searching for cell phones to assault with their electronic spurts of energy that mimic familiar voices, and relay the illusion of communication in the form of a non-stop stream of text messages. Actually, texting is communication because information is being shared, questions asked and answered, and senders have the option of using cute little smiley faces that serve nicely as the emotional aspect of this form of silent ‘talking’. It’s really the same as sending an email, just more fun.

My eye isn’t throbbing this morning so I suspect the memory of the missing tooth is fading from my upper jaw. Soon, the toothless pit will level out and fill in with nice pink gum material, removing all traces that a tooth was ever there.

I impulsively went to my barber today and we talked about all kinds of things. I’ve reported in the past that Curt is a wealth of information on pretty much anything. Mostly, what interests me, talking with him about quantum theory. Since it’s theory, we can make it into anything we want. We agree that everything in the universe is connected at the lowest level, and all of those tiny, tiny little ‘things’ have all the information about all things. I wish I could remember everything he talked about today, but there was just so much that my brain got full. What I do know is that my haircut took about 1.5 hours and only cost me $10. Going there is like a mini vacation.

Diane was pleased that I got my haircut. I have to admit that she’s been very tolerant about not reminding me every day that I should get it whacked off. Instead, she has just been ignoring it. He tactic worked, of course, so I got it cut. It was getting to be a real mess and had to go. Now I’m bald.

Today it was 95 in Portland, but more like 115 where we live. I don’t know if that’s accurate, but it seemed like it because I spent most of it outside cutting wainscoting for The Bathroom. Daniel and I got it all cut so it’s ready to install. We cut the baseboard, too. Tomorrow we’ll remove the sinks and the toilet and get it all installed, lickity split. Then I’m going to caulk every crack I can find and call it done. Oh, and we’ll put the sinks back, too. Maybe even the toilet, if all goes well. Actually, it has to be done tomorrow because that’s the dead line Jennifer set. Neither Daniel nor I are willing to take a chance and exceed that deadline, so we will get it done. I’m sure.

Today is September 11th, a sad day for the USA. Where were you when the towers fell? I was getting ready for work, watching the news, when the first one went down. Then I drove to work and watched the 2nd one fall on a conference room TV in the Portland World Trade Center. Kind of odd that I worked at the Portland WTC at the time. It made it a little more personal. At the time, I had a ground floor office with a window – a real treat for me. It was just tons of fun watching some of our future leaders walk by, catch my eye, then got through their just absolutely hilarious pantomime of something blowing up. I’m not a violent person, but I would have had no problem providing a life lesson to those little chumps. Problem was, of course, had I done something in retaliation for something as benign as that, I would have wound up in jail. Probably sued, too. So, I just spewed evil thoughts in their direction as they pranced by. Such cute, totally unaware young people. I wonder what they’re doing now. Probably part of the crowd that’s causing such a problem for Portland City Hall. Thankfully, that’s not something that hits too close to home for us, but we watch it, just the same. Mainly because that’s what’s on the news.

Nothing interesting ever happens in St. Helens. Well, maybe a homicide once in a while, or really amazing accidents caused by amazingly stupid people. That’s not unique to us, of course. That’s pretty universal. Just thinking about the homicides brings Chicago to mind. Guess they have more than a few of those in short periods of time.

Sorry about all the doom and gloom. I try to stay upbeat, but it’s difficult sometimes.

Gotta quit, now. Diane just returned with supper. We were going to have corn on the cob and spaghetti, but time got away from me while I brushed the dickens out of Panzee, so it was easier to go get a hamburger. A Tillamook Cheese Burger, to be precise.

Now I must eat and watch TV.