Category Archives: Health

Golf & Pain

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Happy First Day of Summer! It’s finally here! Now we have to start watering the front lawn so it will grow giving Diane a reason to play on the lawn mower. She can’t do that, however, until she finishes up out back. It’s a mess.

Rumor has it that I have to go golfing tomorrow because our weatherman, JP, said it’s going to be a good day for it. So, we go golf. The problem for me is that I had my pneumonia booster today and my left arm is incredibly sore. The young lady who stabbed me did a good job with the needle, but when she mashed the plunger I almost cried. She said she was sorry, but there wasn’t much that could be done at that point. So, now I have to swing a club with all that pain in my left arm in addition to the rotator cuff pain in the right one. Yes, I have to go swing that club. Should be a good day.

Does anyone know someone at this number: +93 8808191 ?? According to my phone it’s somewhere in Afghanistan. I don’t know anyone there.

I’m keeping this short because it hurts to sit long due to my sciatica piraformis.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Have a great day.

Birth Control Breakthrough !

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I don’t normally expound about things concerning planned parenthood, or anything regarding sexual issues, but had to share this in support of the little guy.

Warning! The following contains sexually explicit information that may (or may not) offend your sensibilities, so view at your own risk.

Condoms for normal people.

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Home At Last, and Other Stuff

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Yes, we’re home. At last.

After a leisurely transit of I-84, an overnight stay at the Wild Horse Casino in Pendleton, and past the site of the Oil Train Fire in Mosier, we reunited the dogs with a great deal of happy barking. It quickly became annoying because we haven’t heard if for over a week. Once they sensed our displeasure from our repetitive request to stop, they stopped. I suspect, however, they stopped simply because they wanted to do. We had no influence on their decision.

Before stopping at Wild Horse Casino we made a stop in La Grande to get gas and visit our Niece-Niece Maryssa who is attending Eastern Oregon University which, happily, is in La Grande. We had a nice visit sitting in our trailer, near the tennis courts on Sixth Street. It would have been nice if we could have enjoyed lunch together but we had the Big Black Dog (Ziva) and it was too hot to leave her alone in either the trailer or the pickup. As a lunch alternative, and a farewell gesture, we gave her all the frozen food remaining from our trip. I believe that caused a little remorse for all those times she ignored us when she was 6-12 years old. That’s an incentive to bring her food every time we see her. We’re making plans now. Something about strawberries I think.

Pendleton to home was uneventful except for an extremely windy 20 miles or so before exiting the Columbia River Gorge in Troutdale. It’s always windy there. I didn’t worry about it because Diane was driving. If the trailer had tipped over, it wouldn’t have been my fault. Wouldn’t have been her fault, either, but, you know, she was driving.

We got home on Monday, as planned. Then yesterday Diane got up early so she could make it to PDX by 0900 to get Ashlee and her fiancé Mike who flew in from Wisconsin. I couldn’t do it because I had to visit my dentist, Dr. Grim and get my teeth cleaned by Cheryl at 0900. Ashlee is half of a set of twins belonging to Lars & Barbara; Lars belongs to Butch & Margo, our long-time friends who live in Wisconsin. Mike and Ashlee’s flight arrived early so we all got home about the same time. The reason for the visit was for Ashlee to find living accommodations while she attends Pacific University to get her PhD in physical therapy. Mike is a Manufacturing Engineer seeking employment in the greater Portland area.

Today I went golfing with the Peal brothers. Diane insisted. It was a good day for all of us because none of us died out there on the course. I informed Diane of the agreement we golfers have in case one of us bites the big one while out there having all that fun. No matter which hole it happens on, we will finish the round. The two remaining golfers will play best ball for the deceased member who will be strapped into one of the carts we use. I initially thought we would have to drag the non-playing member from hole to hole, but Doug suggested just putting them in one of the open seats. Bungee cords are now part of our golfing equipment to ensure we have enough to hold a body on the cart. Then, once the round is complete, we will call 911 to report the loss then go hold a memorial lunch at Burgerville. If one of the married guys check out, the losing wife will be notified so she can attend the lunch. It’s the right thing to do.

We all made it through our standard nine holes so it was a successful day. I couldn’t attend the lunch that normally follows our golf game because I had to be home in time to take Ozzie to his hair dresser at 1300. I also had to get some drain cleaner for the kitchen sink. It’s been running a bit slow and finally jammed shut this morning. I figured we’d need to wash dishes some time this evening so it was necessary to visit ACE. That’s my first trip to ACE in a couple of weeks which is a modern-day record for me.

The cleaner worked and the sink now drains just fine. I’m sure you are all happy to know that. I can smell the chemical at the top of the basement stairs so the Pro drain cleaner I used may have eaten a hole in one of the drain pipes. I looked around down there but couldn’t find any evidence of a leak but I don’t go down there very often so I don’t view it as a problem. Diane’s washing machine, dryer, and ironing board are down there, however, so will let me know if she discovers something amiss. She has to go to the basement because it’s her job. I’d help but she won’t let me. Apparently that chenille sweater I dried in the dryer 8 years ago, and subsequently extracted most of from the vent filter, ensured I wouldn’t have to do laundry for a long time.

Since I’m not making a lot of sense, and because my right foot hurts, I think I’ll just terminate this. My foot hurts because I have a bout of gout in the large toe. We don’t know why. No doubt it’s something I ate but, since I’ve eaten a lot of “stuff” lately it would be are to pick out one thing that may have caused it. So, I will just continue to limp and eat whatever Diane gives me.

It’s 2000 now, and we haven’t seen Ashlee or Mike all day. We were considering that it might be time to start worrying when Ashlee texted Diane to let her know they were on their way back to St. Helens. That’s a good thing.

Now I’m eating popcorn for supper so I really gotta quit.

Breakfast and Blackberry Vines

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Yesterday I attended what the American Legion calls an e-board meeting at the local Village Inn in St. Helens. I think the “e” stands for Executive because the only ones who attend them are elected officers of American Legion Post 42. Since I’m one of those guys it’s pretty mandatory that I attend. Doug said so. He normally calls to remind me, but I don’t think he did this time. I actually remembered all by myself. Perhaps there’s hope for me yet.

Since we’re at the Village Inn I figured it might be a good idea to eat breakfast, something I rarely do during these meetings. But, since our Supreme Commander, Lyle, didn’t show up, I figured all bets were off and a meal wouldn’t interfere with the proceedings.

I got two eggs, over easy, a ham steak, hash browns, and two pieces of non-nutritional white toast. I had my own coffee from home so didn’t have to pay for that. When it was presented to me it looked really nice.

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… but, I forgot to ask them to run a pizza cutter over all of it about 15-16 times. They do that for me because cutting all that stuff up, even the eggs, is pure torture for my shoulders. It’s just not the right angle. So, I sent it back to the kitchen and they brought it back to me ready to eat.

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That done, all I had left was to get jelly on my toast. No one at the table would help me with that so I struggled through the process all by myself. I guess they just don’t love me enough to help out or, maybe, it’s because they’re all old and crippled up like me. Yeah. I’m sure that’s it. I’ll have to ask them the next time I see them to confirm.

After the e-board meeting I returned home with the intention of using that energy I saved from not having to cut up those eggs by dismantling some of the blackberry vines that surround the house. I figured if I let them go much longer we’d need a machete to get the front door open all the way. Actually, it’s not that bad, yet, but those things do grow mighty fast, so I wasn’t taking chances. I also trimmed the bottoms off a few trees so I could walk under them without hitting my head. That portion of my assigned task went well, with no injuries, but the blackberry vines won the battle and I had to quit before finishing because there was the distinct possibility that I might pass out from loss of blood.

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I’ve got more to do today but decided that I’d wear something heavy-duty with long sleeves. Probably should have done that yesterday. I’m happy to report that, even though the injuries were rather severe, I didn’t get a drop of blood on the sheets last night which means I’m still married. At least for another day.

Then, this morning, I trundled my way down to the Kozy for coffee with my friend Larry, and my other friend Larry. We solve a lot of the world’s problems during these Thursday meetings. Sometimes I order the breakfast special, which used to be $6.95, but was recently raised to $7.50 meaning I couldn’t afford to eat it every week. I’m on Social Security, you know.

Then this morning, Kerry, our normal waitress, placed a menu in front of me thinking I’d order something. It took me a little bit of looking to discover that it was specifically for me and encompassed all the better eating habits that I probably should be observing, but usually don’t. Then I looked at the prices and figured out that, ok, it was a joke. I was disappointed that it took me so long to do that.

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It was finally revealed that Larry and Kerry were in cahoots with this and got a good chuckle from it. So did I, as did our other friend, Larry.

Adding to the frivolity of the menu, whenever a waitress made rounds with the coffee pot she would ask me if I shouldn’t be drinking decaf instead of real coffee because of my heart condition. It was all in good fun and I feel blessed that I have friends like this who have my best interest at heart.

Now I’m going to go see about those blackberries.

Maybe I’ll torch the burn pile, too, if I can find out where Diane hid the matches.

Golf, Lunch, Hair Cut, Bike Ride, Dump Truck, & The Lawn Mower

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I golfed in this morning then had lunch with Doug and Junior. We all had McBurgerville Crispy Chicken sandwiches. None of us had fries which was good because none of us need fries. None of us needed a deep-fried chicken breast, either, but we ate them anyway.

After lunch I went to Great Clips and got a haircut from Misty. She’s a local girl who is going to New York this summer to attend her boy friend’s brother’s wedding and she gets to go and meet the family. She’s excited, of course, because she’s never travelled, and she’s never been on an airplane. We’re all hoping that she doesn’t puke, or something. I’ve never met Misty before so learning all this “stuff” was kinda fun.

After I got home I got my bike out and rode to Diane’s Mom’s (Jean’s) house and back. About two miles, uphill both ways. Going was fine, but had to stop pedaling and walk a while when my left arm started going numb. I figured that probably wasn’t a good thing and my legs were all into walking instead of pedaling. Mom and I visited for a while, then I assisted her with washing the filters in her furnace air cleaner. Assisting Jean means staying out of her way and helping only when asked. I’m good at that because her daughter, my First Wife, is exactly the same way. She earned from The Master.

When I got home I sat a bit, drank three glasses of water, then drove the old truck down by the burn pile and emptied the debris Jeff left in the back. It was mostly bad wood and is now on the burn pile awaiting a hot fire.

I contemplated mowing the lawn in the afternoon but decided to not press my luck by working too hard in one day. I consider taking a nap, too. I could do that because Diane is sequestered in the County Court House once again. She said she’s working on the election counting board, but I think it’s community service for yelling at the stupid drivers she encounters on the road. She denies it, of course. In lieu of mowing the yard, I decided to use the electric weed whacker and edge the sidewalk and flower beds. That entailed a trip to the back yard to get an extension cord long enough. It was in the back yard because I left it there, along with the battery charger, the last time I tried to mow the yard. Had to recharge the batteries.

I hooked up two cords and went to work and almost made it around the east corner of the house before I yanked the cords apart. Had I tied the cords together, like I usually do, that wouldn’t have happened, but I thought I might need that extra 6 inches of cord to do the job. Didn’t work. That meant a trip to the basement to get another cord, which I did. The extra length allowed me to zip around all the areas I wanted to zip around. When done, I meticulously wound the cords up and laid them on a pile of “things” in the garage. Having done the edges, I figured I may as well mow, but first I should probably trim the low hanging limbs on the tree by the sidewalk. I like it tall enough that I can walk under it whenever I want to. That doesn’t happen often, but I want it that way, just in case. I trim it by holding my battery-powered hedge trimmer above my head while slowly walking back and forth under the tree, trimming as I go. Works great. Just as I got going, the battery died and the spare was already dead. After searching around for the plug-in units for the hedge trimmer battery chargers, I found them buried under a bunch of chairs we don’t use in the corner of the garage. Tangled up with those chargers was the one for the little yellow jumper battery I have, so I plugged that in, too.

Since I had to wait for the batteries to charge, and I was way beyond wanting a nap, I thought I may as well fire up the lawn mower and get what I could. I went down stairs, jumped on the mower, turned the key, and nothing happened. I did this a few times before surrendering to the understanding that the battery was dead, too. I the charger from the lower patio which was near by, went back up to the garage for the extension cords I had recently removed from the lower patio, and got it plugged in. When things like this happen I always think that I should have upstairs and downstairs extension cords to eliminate all that walking up and down. I admit, however, that all that walking is a good thing. That’s one of the reasons I have all my tools in the basement. When I need a wrench I make a fairly educated guess at what size I need then go to the basement and get it. It’s always the wrong size so I have to go back and get the correct wrench. I do this for each task which some may think is a bit eccentric, which it is, but it’s the way I exercise. Kinda dumb, I know.

Now, while all the batteries are charging, I had nothing to do until I caught sight of the blackberries that were encroaching the area were we are growing our own bird feed from the seeds the birds scatter all over the place. They are interesting. I think pretty soon they will be tall and strong enough for Breezie to climb all the way to the bird feeders instead of jumping.

Thinking the charger had been on the mower long enough to get it going, I gave it a shot. It started right up, so I went to the burn pile to get the grass catcher attachments. That’s where I left them the last time I mowed. I don’t remember how long ago that was, but I’m sure lots snakes and rats appreciated the cover during the last few rainy days we had. I always enjoy helping the wildlife in the area.

Mowing went well until I emptied the jam-packed bags and headed out for the final round on the front yard. Then guess what happened. Yup. Ran out of gas and I didn’t have any.

At this point I decided to bow to the wisdom of whatever spirit was trying to tell me I wasn’t supposed to mow the yard today. At least, not all of it. So, there sits the mower in the front yard. Almost done, but not quite.

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Perhaps tomorrow.

Diane’s home. She was released from the County Jail about an hour ago and stopped to talk with her Mom on the way home. Mom told her I rode my bike down to the house so she probably should look for me laying alongside the road on her way up the hill. That’s pretty kind of her to be so concerned about my welfare, don’t you think?

Birthdays & Biopsies

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Today is our annual “Tweener” birthday celebration. The reason is because my birthday was yesterday and son Jeff’s birthday is tomorrow. We’re only two days apart but he’s a Gemini and I’m a Taurus. We do the tweener celebration because it’s much easier than doing it twice, once for each of us. Besides, we’re both getting older and instead of planned events like this we all find much joy in just seeing each other for no reason at all.

For my birthday we took a trip to The Dalles which is 113 miles up the Columbia River Gorge from home. We went to The Dalles to watch the St. Helens High softball team play their last game. It was their last game because they lost 9-7 to the The Dalles Redhawks. It was still a fun game and a beautiful drive.

We went early so we could stop and have a birthday lunch and chose the Ristorante Di Pompello in Troutdale which sits right next to I-84, the quickest way to The Dalles. The atmosphere at the Ristorante Di Pompello was very nice, and the service excellent, but the food was a little disappointing for a couple of us. On the plus side, the price was right. Daniel paid.

After lunch (Thanks Daniel) we were amazed by all the bronze sculptures along the sidewalk then stopped by the Caswell Gallery, the source of our enjoyment, to a room full of beautiful bronze art. Rip Caswell is quite amazing. Sadly, he wasn’t in the store, but he has his studio in the town and I’m sure that any of you who have a notion would be welcome to see how he does his magic. I’m just guessing on the visit potential, of course. You’ll have to call Rip at 503-492-2473 and ask if it’s OK. If that doesn’t work out, just enjoy the store. There’s a very nice lady who guards the place.

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After the game we headed back home and folks decided it might be a good idea to eat again. It was going on 7 pm when we headed west and maybe 7:30 when Jennie, our chauffeur, pulled in to a DQ in Hood River, one of the premier locations in the world for wind surfers. When the wind blows in the gorge, the Columbia River is full of these folks. They are very entertaining, especially those who use kites instead of sails. Those folks get way up in the air.

Our meal was good and it was enjoyable just sitting, eating, and talking with the family, even though it was only a partial family. Lydia and Jeran were missing. When the last bite was done (mine) we piled back in the Envoy and continued our trip home. Once on the freeway it was evident that it was going to be a very incredible sunset. We continued on, gasping at the beautiful sky, the bits and pieces we could see through the trees along the freeway, until Jennie found a pull out for folks like us who want to take in the view. Here’s what we saw looking down the river …
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and this is was looking up the river. Pretty nice.

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I mentioned in a previous posting that son Jeff tied balloons to our paper box at 0530 on my birthday, yesterday morning. Here’s the evidence. It was very thoughtful.

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Last Thursday Diane took me to an overdue visit to my dermatologist. He’s not actually mine because I know we’re not allowed to own people, but if that were possible, he’d be mine. He did a very thorough check of all my bumps and lumps and chose a few that he thought should have a closer look. One was from my left forehead, another from the top of my right ear, the left one if you’re looking at me, and the last one from just below my right knee. There are numerous spots that need to be seared off my exterior but he’s waiting to find out the results of testing on these three before heading down that road. Here’s what they looked like …

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Now I have three divots that need to be filled in. I suspect there will be a larger notch in my ear before this is all done. If so, so be it. I can’t see my ears anyway so it’s not a big deal.

Funny thing. All of my wounds have band aids applied and they are supposed to remain on all night. This morning the one from my leg was missing and I couldn’t find it anywhere in the bed. Later in the day, Diane found it stuck to the inside of her leg. Since I was asleep all night, honest, I have no idea how that happened. Swear to God.

 

Does your vote count? – Shipmate Cedric – EOU Softball

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It’s Tuesday, May 17th. That means its primary day and if you don’t get your ballots in before midnight, or thereabouts, your vote won’t count. Actually, it probably won’t count anyway since most of the other states have already made the decision for us. That’s emphasized by Hillary not even bothering to visit Oregon, something she did for most of the other states during their primary vote which means she’s just going to concede us to Bernie because I suspect she figures she just doesn’t need our support. Either that, or she doesn’t feel that she’s going to get our support, so why bother. Just an opinion. I could be totally wrong about that as I have been about far less import events in the past. No doubt this up and down trend will continue till I suck my last breath.

To aid in this voting effort, Diane is spending all day today, and won’t be home until the wee hours of the morning, counting ballots, helping to ensure everything is on the up and up. She does this every year and it wears her out, totally, every time. But, hey, they pay her $9 and hour for all that work so why not? Might get enough for a full tank of gas. We’ll see.

Me? I spent the day in self-imposed isolation, kind of, by mowing our entire yard. It looks right nice. Thankfully it dried out quickly from the last rain. I was unnecessarily concerned. After that I had time to take a shower then pick up Cedric for his meeting with the Navy recruiter. He does this, along with other Delayed Entry Program enlistees, on a regular basis while waiting for his trip to boot camp. Cedric will be going in mid July. I don’t know about the others.

Considering what happened last week (that trip to the emergency room?) you’d wonder why I would be left all alone with instructions to not use any dangerous tools (scissors are now on the list), but I was allowed to drive Cedric to Hillsboro. Kind of inverted logic, I think? But, it worked out OK and I’m home safe, as is Cedric. I guess the thought was I’d be safer in the truck going 55 than I would be going up or down stairs at home, in case I had another “near” Syncope event. A purely Syncope event is when you actually faint. I didn’t do that, but it was close. I think things like that happen so that you are unconscious when you hit the ground. I’d think that would hurt a lot less than being awake for the entire event. I’ve not had a recurrence but I’m still scheduled to see my cardiologist on June 14th. I’ll let you know how that goes whether or not you’re interested.

Eastern Oregon University (EOU) softball made it to post-season play this year for the first time since 2000. I know that’s true because I looked it up. I looked it up because I figured someone might ask if that’s true. Well, it is. As far as I can tell. My interest in EOU softball is because Diane and I have matching EOU cushions, and I have both an EOU shirt and hat. We have those because we cashed in on a prime opportunity to get stupendous bargains at the EOU book store as they closed out their stock last year. We were there to watch our Niece-niece Maryssa play for the EOU team. She’s a sophomore there now. On May 8th she knocked in the winning run that earned her team their first conference title in school history. Impressive.

 I guess I’ll wrap this up and watch a couple of movies while I wait for Diane to get home. She’ll be upset that I stayed up waiting for her, but that’s OK. I just need to know she’s home safe. I could go to bed, I suppose, because the dogs will alert me to her arrival, but I’d rather see if I can stay awake. It’s only fair.

Later …

Sheetrock, Urgent Care, Family, & Fun

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As some of you already know, thanks to my first wife posting on Facebook, I had an adventurous Thursday. It all began at Jack’s house, where I was helping him put up sheet rock. It was only my second day on the job and I was just standing there, minding my own business when I had one of my tachycardia events. I’ve been having those things for years and find them to be non-threatening because they don’t hurt. My heart just flutters a little. They started while I was in the Navy and the doc then told me that I was having PVC’s, which everyone knows is plastic pipe used for in ground sprinklers and others tasks for moving water. That’s now. Back then there was no PVC piping so it was evident the doctor meant Premature Ventricular Contractions. I was told my PVC events were happening only every 5th beat of my heart and they only worry about it when it’s every 3rd beat. When they happen I feel like I’m raising up, like a floaty sensation. It’s brief, and a couple of deep breaths brings everything back to normal.

So, it’s nothing new. On Thursday, however, I think my PVC’s, which hadn’t happened for a long time, decided to catch up a little and hammered me with, maybe every other beat. It was amazing! For about 5 seconds, it felt like my heart was beating on the walls, trying escape, not that little flutter letting me know it was there. Plus, instead of the floaty feeling it was evident that I wasn’t going to maintain my current vertical position as my vision went dark and I started to fall. It was definitely as sinking feeling. Fortunately, there was a stool next to me and I was able to guide myself to a sitting position. As soon as I sat down everything went back to normal. Freaky!

We went back to work and hung another sheet of sheet rock before I could no longer disregard the analytics my mind was providing of possible side effects of what happened. Like a tingly sensation on the left side of my neck, and possible pain in my left arm pit. Stuff like that. The arm pain was difficult to analyze because of my torn rotator cuffs, so there was some discussion inside my head as to what was always there vs. what was new.

I decided that the only way to resolve the discussion was to take a trip to urgent care in St. Helens and see what they thought. Wynette wanted to drive me but I declined because I had my old truck at their house and was concerned about transportation back once I was done at urgent care.

Let me tell you, right now, that going to urgent care with my set of symptoms is the totally wrong thing to do. They took me into their care, getting me right in to a room, stuck a bunch of probes on my body, inserted an IV cath in my left arm, all the while scolding me for not calling 911 instead of driving all the way back to St. Helens from Scappoose which is 8 miles further away from the hospital they were going to send me to. Whew! It was all done in a nice, concerned way, but I got it from every one of them. I tried to explain that I’ve ALWAYS driven myself to Urgent Care in the past for mishaps and they said, “But those times you were bleeding, and we can fix that. We can’t fix hearts!”

Did I mention that they know me there?

So, as I lay on the gurney, waiting for the ambulance, I called the Columbia County Courthouse where Diane was due in court to face spousal abuse charges … that’s a lie. She was there working on the Counting Board for the elections. She does this for every election because they pay her $9 an hour. I tried her cell phone first, knowing she wouldn’t answer because she was working, then I called the County Clerk’s office and asked that they give Diane a message that I was at urgent care waiting to be transported to Emanuel Hospital. I was told to wait, and very soon thereafter Diane was on the phone so I could explain what was going on. I hated interrupting her at work because we can use the extra cash, but I really had no choice. If I had waited until I got to Emanuel it would have been far worse. Believe me. I know stuff like that.

Diane came to Urgent Care and watched Jim and Ken stuff me into the ambulance the drive away. It’ the first time I’ve ever been on an ambulance ride. Jim rode in back while Ken drove and we had a very nice visit on the trip to town. It was almost like we were just going shopping.

In no time at all, it seemed, we were there and my fantasy ride was over. One more thing to check off my bucket list. Jim and Ken placed me into the tender care of a bevy of bright and shiny nurses, PA’s, and a doctor to whom I individually related the story of what happened to me. I had to do this about 4 times and I was beginning to think it was a test to make sure I gave them the same info each time. It was ok, though, because everyone was extremely friendly and it was evident they liked their jobs and had my best interest at heart, no pun intended.

They sucked blood from my IV, sent me to have an X-ray, connected me to an EKG, gave me aspirin and water, made me just lay there while they bustled all around. They were busy all the time, and always smiling. I deemed it my job to ensure they continued to keep smiling. It’s what I do. I didn’t give them grief and did exactly everything I was told. I was a good patient. One of the RN’s, Michelle, told me I was the cleanest and best patient she’d had all day. Made me proud.

Diane was allowed back to sit with me as they worked so we had a chance to visit. She was worried, I know, and I was sorry for that. Jennifer, who was working in Hillsboro, at Nike, left early and showed up to be with me, also. Jeff would have also come, but I talked with him and eased his concern. He got the old truck home for me which was a huge help. I have a good family.

The process had already started to check enzymes in my blood that indicate heart damage and I’d need three of those, 6 hours apart. That meant the last test would be taken around 1 am the next morning. So, they decided that I should just spend the night for observation in one of their ER holding cells adjacent to the main ER area. It’s an observation area of individual small rooms that are nicer than some motels we’ve visited. Diane was initially going to try spending the night in the room’s recliner until it was decided that I wouldn’t be released until after 9 am in the morning. Jennifer was in the room with us and made sure I minded the nurses and doctors and not make a joke of my current situation. She said, “Dad, remember how old you are” more than once, as a way of saying I’m a bit more fragile than I used to be when I swung her in circles, and tossed her into the air.

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Yes, the old body is starting to fall apart, I fear, but it’s hard to not make it fun. It happens to us all and we only get to experience it once so why not enjoy it, if possible? I realize there are times when I should be serious, but I have this reputation to maintain, you know? I’m rarely serious about my predicaments.

Soon, I was alone in my holding cell. I had my iPad (thanks to my lovely bride), and a nice big TV on the wall, and a menu. Yes, a menu from which I was to select my dinner. That was an unexpected treat. I thought I would just get what I got and eat it or go hungry. Nope. I had a menu with a stunning array of heart healthy choices for dinner. I chose the rib eye steak, oven roasted potatoes, green beans, raspberry sorbet, orange juice, and a dinner salad. Yes, that’s all true. Here, let me show you.

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Pretty snazzy, huh? When the girl came to the door with it she knocked and said, “Room service.” Honest to God. Room service. And it was pretty awesome. I ate every bit of it and almost licked my plates.

Then I watched the Oklahoma Thunder beat San Antonio Spurs to move to the next round of the NBA playoffs. Regarding that, since the Golden State Warriors beat the Portland Trailblazers in 5 games, I’ll be cheering for them. Next round is Stephen Curry (GSW) against Russel Westbrook (OT). Should be fun.

After the game I settled down with my iPad. Thankfully it was charged all the way so figured it should last the night.

My nurse, Arlene, came in to tell me my first enzyme test was negative, which was a good thing. Then she took more blood for the next test. I read and dozed, gave blood and got good news on the last draw, and the cycle repeated throughout the night. Finally, at 0645 Friday morning Arlene told me the last test was also negative and suggested that I order breakfast, which I did. It was a breakfast sandwich of just egg and cheese. No meat. I only ate it down to the part where the eggs were green. I know it was still OK, that the green tinge was from cooking in an aluminum pan, but my head wouldn’t cooperate with my taste buds in the end so I left about half of it because I was suddenly no longer hungry. Then I napped some more.

Diane returned to get me about 0900, and they released me around 1030 with written instructions to not drive or operate dangerous equipment until a final determination could be made for why I had my event. They called it Syncope, or “Near Fainting Experience”. I looked it up. The fact that they actually had a name for it comforted me, knowing other folks do this, too.

Yesterday was Lydia’s last HS softball game for the year and I was happy to be there to cheer her on. She was the starting pitcher and blanked Rex Putman through 4 innings. It was 13-4 when she was relieved and assumed duties at third base. Her relief, Ciara, closed them out in the top of the 5th, and our girls scored in the bottom making it 14-4 and the end of the game using the 10 run rule. Jack and Wynette attended the game, too, so we got to visit and cheer the girls on. The fun continued after the game when we all adjourned Campbell Park and went to McCormick Park for the girls’ end of season party. That’s where the girls play a game against the parents and knock their socks off, until the pizza arrived. It was a lot of totally unorganized fun. Diane and I just sat and watched, enjoying the interactions.

Now I’m on another forced day of rest (Diane said) so mowing the lawn is not an option. I was going to do it yesterday but that was DEFINITELY not going to happen (Diane said). So, I’ll work on that bucket list and check of one more item – this was the first time I’ve ever spent the night in a hospital. It’s not a restful experience, but it was truly interesting to be involved as a participant in the ballet that is a top-notch emergency room. Very impressive stuff.

Thanks to all of you who expressed concern for my welfare. You can relax, now, as I’m about as good as I can get and I’m in pretty good shape for the shape I’m in.

Rabbits, Dogs, & the VA

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Tomorrow is garbage day. I know that’s true because today is Monday. Garbage day is always Tuesday. Even on holidays.

While Diane and her Mom were getting their Poodle-do’s this morning I took it upon myself to get the old truck going so I could drive to ACE for some of that RV sealant that comes on a roll. There’s a name for it but I have no idea what it is. It’s really sticky stuff and keeps water out of stuff. I needed it to put around the edges of the fan I put on the trailer. That’s probably all you need to know about that. The important thing about that evolution is that I didn’t fall off the top of the trailer even one time. The fan is properly installed. All I have to do now is figure out where I’m going to get power from for the fan. There are no wires near the hole it’s sitting in. I’ll figure it out.

After Diane brought her new hair-do home she took me to Portland for an appointment with my VA doctor. They said it was a recall but it was really just my six-month checkup. If it was a real recall they’d have to replace, or adjust something. That didn’t happen. All that happened was I was told that all the blood I donated last Friday indicated that I’m fine. My HDL is 135, LDL is 70, my A1C is 6.6. There were a bunch of other numbers on the list but I can’t remember them all.

Then we came back home so I could go tell our neighbors that our dogs apparently killed Cloud, their rabbit. That happened when I took them out front with me while I was working on top of the trailer. They went next door to visit the chickens and the rabbit, which they’ve done many times. This time something went wrong.

We have good neighbors. They took the loss well and said they’d tell their girls that Cloud ran away. I said I would get them more rabbits but they declined. They don’t want any more of them. I’m going to do it anyway. Maybe stuffed ones so if they escape the house and the dogs notice, they can be repaired.

I almost forgot that we stopped on the way home and I almost hit Beth Zelfer with my car door. (Hi, Beth) I did it on purpose because she was walking by, returning her cart to the rack. I knew it wouldn’t hit her, but it got her attention. It was really good to see her because it’s been a long time. She’s a Teacher in Scappoose. She’s actually a retired Teacher, but I think “once a teacher, always a Teacher.” Like, “once a Marine, always a Marine.” She was Derrick Anderson’s teacher in first grade, I think. You know Derrick. He’s a pro football quarterback for the Carolina Panthers. From Scappoose. Go figure.

Now I must contemplate tomorrow. I must play golf. It is a must. Doug said. Also, Stephen Curry beat the Blazers tonight in overtime. He scored 17 points in that 5 minute stretch. Now they go back to Oakland for game 5 where the Warriors will probably finish the Blazers of in round two.

Me and My Saw, and Other Fun Stuff

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While packing our stuff into our “new” trailer, Diane discovered that the utensil holder thing was too big for the drawer. Therefore, I was commissioned to create dividers with some of the spare wood I have lying around in the basement. To do that required the use of a saw. Even though I had tons of wood of varying size I couldn’t find five pieces of the proper length.

Considering my last encounter with my table saw (1/8″ kerf in my left forefinger that required 6 stitches to close) I’m sure you can imagine my concern about testing my dexterity again.

For this project I chose 1/2″ wood which is handy because most of my fingers are more than 1/2″ thick lessening the possibility of cutting one of them clean off. Also, I only raise the blade enough to clear the piece I’m cutting which makes it even better because there’s only 1/8″ or so sticking above the wood. The worst that could happen if I, say, lost my balance while running a piece through the saw, is I’d get another 1/8″ kerf, 1/8″ deep, and as long necessary to regain my balance and remove my hand from the blade.

About now I suspect those who know me are holding their hand to their mouth, and their eyes are really big, because you’re thinking that I managed to cause myself significant damage. So, I must point out, that the above details only provide possibilities for damage, none of which I endured.

Instead, I managed to cut all the pieces I needed to get the job done, turned my saw off with a well deserved sense of satisfaction, then, for some unknown reason, managed to stick my right forefinger into the blade just before it stopped spinning. Actually, my finger caused it to stop. The result isn’t as magnificent as you might expect. It’s just a tiny little thing, hardly 1/4″ long. And, It’s not deep enough to count as a bona-fide kerf.

Upon noticing the blood attempting to escape the injured digit, I immediately applied pressure with my opposing right thumb which caused me to wonder, to myself, if that’s what opposing thumbs are all about. I mean, if you hurt the inside area of any finger, the associated thumb if perfect for applying pressure. Maybe it’s not about grasping tools at all. It’s a medical issue.

Anyway, I presented myself to Diane, with pressure applied, and the conversation went something like this.

She looked at my hand, then into my eyes and asked, “What did you do this time?”

Feeling properly warned, I responded, “I cut my finger.”

“How bad is it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t looked at it yet.”

“Well, let’s look.”

I held my hand over the sink as we both looked at my finger with growing interest, then removed my thumb from the wound.

When nothing profound spurted from the tiny wound, we both leaned closer for a better look, and she said, “do you think it needs stitches?”

Noticing the absence of flowing blood, I said, “no, what do you think?”

I was proud of the way I turned that decision over to her and especially liked her concurrence that it was a fairly insignificant wound. She had removed the supply of bandages from the Bandage Drawer during the early stages of this investigation so had a couple of large ones ready to apply once it was determined no stitches were needed.

The bandage pressure relieved the pain for which I was grateful because it was moving from a 4 to a 5 on the Pain Scale doctors use. Normally small wounds like this are a solid 2-3 but the ones on the end of any digit are always worse. I know this because I’m an expert on finger injuries.

After getting the bandages applied I went back to my task of building the silverware divider. All I had to do was glue it together. I would have nailed it but didn’t know where the small nails were. Since I was using Gorilla Glue I figured nails would be overkill so just applied some and clamped it all together for a few hours. It’s a test, really, to see how long it will last without nails.

The trailer is mostly packed for a short inaugural journey to Hood River. The water tank has been thoroughly disinfected following the instructions Diane gave me, using the exact amount of bleach required to make it nice and clean. I did that yesterday. Continuing to follow the instructions, I drained all the water from the tank, and lines, and refilled it with fresh water which I also drained. Then I filled it again and discovered that bleach, in even very small amounts, burns one’s tongue. So, I drained it and filled it again.

Diane can taste it first this time. I’m done with that.

To finish off our evening we went down the hill to Campbell Park to watch another one of Lydia’s softball games. They played Sandy High School and beat them 8-2. Lydia had a triple to center field, and a couple of singles. She’s been hitting the ball very well lately as have most of the other girls on the team. Over the last three games they’ve beat their opponents a total of 43-6.

While at the game I called my Brother, Jim, to wish him a Happy 79th Birthday. I call him every year to do that, adjusting the age accordingly. Turns out that he, Donna (Jim’s first wife), Steffani (their favorite daughter), and Bob (Steffani’s significant other) we in La Grande watching Maryssa (Steffani & Bob’s favorite daughter) play softball for Eastern Oregon University. I was glad he was with family and enjoying himself. Watching Maryssa play is lots of fun, as is watching Lydia.

During all of our trips to and from the trailer today, Ziva became very concerned about our pending departure. She found it necessary to be within visual range of me at all times for fear that I would ditch her and disappear. The other dogs didn’t care, and the cat never cares. But, they are all going to have company during our absence as Jeran is staying with them. It will be OK. Then, on our next trip, all the dogs will go with us. If the cat cared even a tiny little bit, she could go, too. But she doesn’t.

Now my day is complete and I must nap.