A Shameless Plug For Chevrolet

Posted on April 3, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

At this time in space, 1225 pm, we are nearing Sacramento, home to one of the lovely California Kathies, one our way to join fellow divers on I-5 North. It’s a beautiful day, currently 73 out there. When we got up this morning it was 20 degrees in Fallon but it quickly warmed all the way to 45 before we embarked on this next to last leg of this current voyage. When Kathie reads this she might be a little miffed that we didn’t stop to talk, but we have a mission to accomplish that can’t be influenced by stops visit for any length of time. It’s not that we don’t love her lots, it’s just that she recently returned from Hawaii and I’m sure she’d be talking non-stop about that trip. She used to live there, too. Now, don’t get me wrong. We LOVE Hawaii. We just need to make it to Medford before the sun goes down. Not knowing what the traffic might be like going North so just don’t want to take a chance. So, Kathie, please forgive us for zooming on by. Truth of the matter is, I’m not driving, as you may have suspected, and have absolutely no control over the driver. It’s my job to point out the pretty things along our route that I think she may want to briefly look at, keep my mouth shut, and hand her whatever she wants. So, that’s exactly what I do because I do not want her to have to stop the car to punish me.

Today I thought I’d try something a little different and utilize one of the nifty features of Diane’s new car. It’s got wi-fi and works as a hot spot, like Starbucks, for up to seven devices. I’m using six of them right now – two phones, two iPads, and the laptop. I’m doing that just so a bunch of people traveling along with us can’t hijack our signal and use it for nefarious “things”. It’s kinda neat because it’s connected to AT&T, which is our cell provider, so I can simply add it to our data plan once the free three months have expired. Interesting to have a car on the cell phone data plan. Should make the monthly bill interesting, too.

In the past 25 minutes Diane skillfully maneuvered us through the incredibly complex array of freeway ons and offs where I-80 and I-5 meet. Most of the time interactions like that are frightening beyond belief, but not this time because I just wasn’t paying any attention. My Navigating responsibilities have been reduced to the task of ensuring our destination has been entered into the car’s brain before we head to a specific destination. You might find it interesting to know I can do this more than one way. The easiest way is to open the RemoteLink app on my iPhone, enter our destination and upload it to the car. Then, when we start car up in the morning, the destination downloads and gets us on the way. If I don’t do that, then I must enter in manually in the car. I can do this by pushing the appropriate buttons. I can also talk to the navigation system and tell it where we want to go. That method is tedious because she, Bessie, tends to mess stuff up and we wind up arguing. It has never ended well, yet, so I try to get the destination downloaded.

Other neat things on the car that I’ve fiddled with is the Driver’s Information Console (DIC – I didn’t make that up) which can be set to provide a lot of distracting information to the driver. One of them is the speed alert. I set it for 80 yesterday but we didn’t make it ten miles before I was severely directed to turn it off. That’s because every time the designated speed is obtained the car beeps a few times and my driver got tired of hearing it. I should have set it to 100 instead. She would have still heard it, but not as often.

The DIC, I really didn’t make that up, will also, if the driver is interested, display an accurate rendition of a speed limit sign for the current location. Diane never looks at that, though. She checks the tire pressure frequently, and the overall mpg which, for the first 1317 miles, is 27. Not bad. On this current stretch of the trip we’re averaging 31.2 mpg. That’s while running along at an average speed of 65+ (mostly 80).

Boring stuff for most of you, I’m sure, but I’ve got nothing else to do. I did pause to check all the devices and see that all their batteries are charged so I should unplug them for a while. Maybe I’ll read some of my book. See you later.

Oh, before I go I have to share something I heard on the news last night … Don’t know what station it was, but the reporter told us that a certain lake had “… six drownings this year, 3 of them fatal.” Had to stop and think about that. I guess the three fortunate ones were dragged back from the dead by a handy people who knew CPR.

Richard Petty, PT Cruisers, and Las Vegas The Show

Posted on April 1, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

Today was especially hard for me because I thought my entire life was perfect in all aspects the, out of the blue, Diane told me she’d had enough of my shenanigans and wanted to be set free. So, I went down to the jail, paid her bail, and did just that. Her court date isn’t until, like June 1st, so we’ll have to come back and see what happens. Things were fine until she went to see “Thunder From Down Under.” You know, all those naked Aussies dancing and such. It was girls night out and she apparently had a really good time. It is an unspoken deal between the two of us that I will never asked what happened and she’ll never tell. I, on the other hand, had a very sedate evening sitting in our room, watching all the pretty lights until I got tired and had to go to bed. Alone. That was the first time in a very long time. Like years.

This morning, once I got her released, we went to visit Pat & Pat at their Worldmark condo on the southern part of the Las Vegas Strip so we could tag along with them to the Las Vegas Motor Speedway where he was going to make a few laps in a NASCAR race car. He was signed up to participate in the Richard Petty racing experience.

It was a special event and we were honored to have been invited to witness his experience and share in his joy. Diane, Short Pat, and I even got to participate, as observers, in the training evolution but we didn’t get to wear fire-retardant suit like Pat did. I, personally, felt cheated on that note because there were dozens of them just hanging there. Wouldn’t have hurt if they let me wear one, just for fun. But they wouldn’t.

The training took place in the infield of the speedway which was quite a treat for us all because it’s such a huge place. Also, since it’s right next to Nellis AFB, we were treated to numerous F-18 fighter jets flying over as they practiced take off’s and landings. Pretty impressive. Diane loves that sound. Makes her swoon.

Once out at the track, each of the drivers posed next to a Richard Petty 43 car before moving on to their assigned vehicle. Our Pat was the first one out since all the other drivers opted for the additional ride along with the pro driver to get the real feel of the track.

Then one of the drivers cranked up one of the cars on the track. It’s the one they use to take drivers on a fast ride, like 165 mph, before they do it themselves with a ride along driving coach who has a kill switch should things get out of control. The sound of that car cranking up was an attention getter on a large-scale, especially since it was only about 10 feet away from us. Very thrilling. Diane had to sit down.

Then Pat got in his assigned car and flashed a thumbs up before starting the engine and entering the track for his attempt to hit all the gates and make the 1.5 mile trip as fast as he could.

There was another fun looking car at the track but no amount of whining by Pat would have made it possible for the professionals to allow Pat inside the car. I don’t blame him. I wasn’t signed up to drive, and I ever whined a little. Looked like it might be a lot of fun.

Once the ride was over, Pat exited the car and staggered back to our side of the barrier that kept us out of the pit area. Actually, I don’t think he walked at all … he kinda floated back with a really silly grin on his face which let us all know he’d just experienced the thrill of a life time. And we were there to see it. Below Pat and Pat share a moment in history that won’t soon be forgotten.

Watch of the drivers got a video of their ride from inside the car, and I also took video of him each time he flew past us on the front straightaway. He was moving along very nicely. When it was all done he learned that he’d set a new track record for rookies of 155.3 and was immediately offered a sponsor so he could go pro. What an honor. He turned them down because he didn’t want to spoil the thrill of that initial ride and didn’t want to make it a job. Once it’s a job, it’s no long fun. It’s work.

We left the track and headed back to town. On the way the girls did a search for a nice place to eat. They came up with an Italian place called Norman’s, or something like that, that was a little ways out of town, away from the strip. It was very authentic and the food was delicious. I had my forever favorite spaghetti ala carbonara. It’s really great stuff. Diane had raviolis, Tall Pat had spaghetti and meat balls, and Short Pat had tortellini. We were all well fed and thoroughly enjoyed the meal and the visit with Pat and Pat.

Then we monied back to Worldmark and retrieve Diane’s new Impala. Sadly, it was time to bid adieu and go our separate ways. But, we know we will see them again soon once we’re all back in the Portland area.

Here’s where we stayed. It’s one of the newer Travelodges recently acquired by Hilton and added to their expanding list of properties that we can use in our travels.

Last night was festive over at the Gold Coast Casino where we had our PT Banquet. The food was good, the service was excellent, and everyone had a really good time. One of the more interesting events, in addition to the many PT related stories people told, was that one lady, from Colorado, who bought two $10 tickets for a 50/50 raffle, won on both tickets. She got 1st prize of $350, missed on the 2nd place $225, and one 3rd place for $125. Not a bad night. What incredible luck.

This evening we went to see “Las Vegas, The Show” which is one we’ve seen on a previous visit. We chose to go again because it’s magnificent and we recommend it to anyone who has a notion to visit LV. Another draw was the theater is just around the corner from our hotel. Seriously, right around the corner.

Now we’re back in the room and will pack before retiring with the intention of embarking on our homeward journey tomorrow, a day earlier than originally planned. The lady at the front desk was ecstatic when I told her she could have her room back a day early. We need to do this so we can make it back to St. Helens in time to attend Easter service at our church.

So, I bid you farewell and have to point out that today is April 1st, and only part of what you’ve just read is true. You’ll just have to decide for your self which part.

Good night.

Viva Las Vegas !!

Posted on March 31, 2015 by Jerrie Cate

So, we’ve been in Las Vegas since last Friday (28th) which you may all assume is the reason for delaying this entry. You’d think we were out running the strip with the rest of the party crowd, adding to our collection of those girly cards that are given freely available to anyone, even children, to accept those evocative gifts. It’s evident that many folks aren’t happy that their children accepted those cards by the number of them littering the sidewalks and street. I’ve been collecting those cards for years and have successfully gathered 998 cards with unique renditions of very pretty girls with very little, or no clothing, no two alike. I feel that’s quite an accomplishment considering that most of the cards are duplicates. I haven’t collected any this trip, yet, but I’m after those illusive two needed to round my collection up to 1,000. I actually saw one that I needed, but it was in the street and I figured Diane would frown on me picking it up, so I sadly walked on by, watching it disappear in my peripherals as those unconcerned people revelers around me nimbly walked over it, grinding it into the pavement making it totally useless for a valid collection destined to become very valuable.

But, no, that was not the case. Instead we’ve been spending most of our time gazing out the window of our room at the millions of lights illuminating the pointy end of Nevada. Here’s part of what we can see from our room on the 54th floor of the Elara.

Quite festive. We can see, from left to right, Aria,The Cosmopolitan, Rio, Bellagio, Planet Hollywood, Caesars Palace, Paris, The Mirage, Treasure Island, Trump, Wynn, Palazzo, Encore, Ballys, Venetian, Harrah’s, High Roller Ferris Wheel, and the Stratosphere. Granted, we can’t see the fronts of them all, but enough to make for a pretty dramatic night sky.

The main reason for making Las Vegas our vacation destination this trip was to join a group of old folks with whom we’ve become acquainted over the years because of our mutual fascination with the Chrysler PT Cruiser. The 109 in attendance, including us, still own PTs, and a large number of them drove their vehicles to the party. The notable exception was our new friend from Sydney, Australia. Pretty cool that he came all that way to visit with us. There were lots of folks from Canada, and the US East Coast, too. This event was the brain child of our friend, Rick, pictured below with my bride, Diane.

This gathering was for breakfast at the Gold Coast for which we had to leave our warm beds at 0500 Monday morning. It was good. Rick, Rick, and Pat had microphones and went around the room giving everyone a chance to introduce themselves. Once some of them got the microphone, however, they were compelled to share some pretty involved stories about their love affair with the PT. Pat Chase, who is, oddly, the current husband of Pat Chase, gave an impressive dissertation on the PT Cruiser from its concept to production, and all the emotions associated with that little car during it’s production run from 2001 through 2010. In another 15 years our 2005 convertible will be a classic. Can’t wait for that. The downside of that is that I’ll be 86 and the state of Oregon probably won’t let me drive it.

The remainder of Monday’s activities for us, after breakfast, was to find a car wash so we could get the bugs scraped off the front of Diane’s new Impala. I found one really close to the Gold Coast that is strictly a hand wash facility. They did an outstanding job and made the car look awesome. This is the new ride …Monday night 58 of us took a 3-4 hour ride on The Big Bus tour of Las Vegas with Kate as our tour guide. Had it not been for her interaction with our crowd of old folks, the trip would have been kind of ho-hum, “look at all the pretty lights” instead of the incredibly detailed, historically correct narrative of every building or vacant lot we passed. She even gave us some pretty interesting back ground of many of the questionable people we passed during our travels. Kate is extremely funny and could easily, in my estimation, excel as a standup comic. Perhaps she is one of those already, but that wasn’t mentioned. She was, however, the Witch in “Wicked” and played all over the west coast for considerable amount of time.

Kate has a commanding presence and we all fell in love with her during that 3-hour tour. What a gal. Here she is making friends with one of the many Ricks who made the trip from Oregon. One of the other Ricks is sitting right there to the right in front of Linda. The other Rick, our leader, was sitting up front.

Sadly, the Rick pictured with Kate injured his knee on the way up the steps to this seat and had to be carted away in a wheel chair at the end of the tour. We trust he will be fine, eventually, but don’t have a prognosis at this time. He was taken to one of the local hospitals, of which I found there are many in the area.

Here are a few of the places we saw along the way down the strip.

Then we headed for the Golden Nugget Hotel & Casino on Fremont Street.

We’ve been there many, many years ago, before it evolved into what it is now, so we weren’t prepared for the incredible transformation that’s been made in that area. It’s pretty amazing.

Outside the Golden Nugget, Fremont Street is totally covered with a curved video screen that stretches over 300 feet. Below the screen, for the entire length, stretched 3 zip line wires on which people whizzed by overhead.

When we first got there it was displaying random graphics which were very pleasing. As we walked through the crush of people on the street, we were smitten with all the pretty lights and the great attitude of the crowd. We didn’t encounter any attitudes at all during our circumnavigation of this amazing venue. About halfway around all the lights along the street, and those advertising the various facilities, were extinguished and the overhead display lit up along the entire length of the street and the sound was cranked up as we were entertained with a Bon Jovi concert of epic proportions. It was mesmerizing and incredibly fun to watch. Even for an old guy like me.

Inside the Golden Nugget all the lights are covered with these incredible artsy creations and all I could think about was how I’m so happy I don’t have to change the light bulbs in them. Pretty, but really sharp on the pointy ends.

Also inside the Golden Nugget is the Shark Tank. A swimming pool surrounds the tank and you can see a tube running through the center of the tank. That’s the end part of a water slide that starts a couple of floors above the tank and through which people fly, probably with their eyes closed. Kinda freaky.

Prior to the evening festivities, we wandered around the Miracle Mile Shopping portion of Planet Hollywood where Diane found a hat shop. She loves hats and looks great wearing pretty much anything on her head.

That’s pretty much it for yesterday. We had a terrific time and are looking forward to the evening festivities today. We’re having the Old PT People Banquet (OPTPB) at the Gold Coast. Should be a hoot.

Wind, Rain, & Candlelight

Posted on December 11, 2014 by Jerrie Cate

Yesterday it rained cats and dogs almost all day, and the temp ran around 50. The humidity also increased ensuring that pretty much everything exposed to outside air was wet. I hate that part. The humidity. It’s terrible stuff and not something we tried and true Oregonians are intimately familiar with. Unless, of course, we’ve lived in parts of the world where humidity is just part of the daily routine.

This morning I awoke at 0730, an unusually late hour for me considering the dogs’ proclivity for normally exiting our domain at a much easier hour. Guess they’re getting attuned to sleeping in which is a good thing.

At 0900 I joined Jeff, Larry, Everett, and Ron for coffee at the Kozy Korner like most of us do every Thursday morning. That’s our MELCA group which is the opposite of WELCA in many ways. We solved a number of world problems while I ate the breakfast Diane insisted that I must order. Apparently I’m not going to be allowed to have just coffee in the morning any longer. It’s worked OK for a lot of years so I don’t see why I have to change now, but I will do as she asks like the good husband that I am.

Speaking of opposites … did you know that irony is the exact opposite of wrinkly?

After departing the austere presence of the MELCA group, I returned home to discover that it was so nice outside that Diane decided it was spring, at least for a while. Long enough for me to check the gutters, and to wash a bunch of windows and patio doors that exhibited stark evidence of animal feet and noses, and little kids hand prints. It was a simple task and one I wouldn’t have had to do if the sun hadn’t been out and shining through the windows at just right angle for Diane to see the mess. I must admit that they look much better, now. It was truly the calm before the storm during this time

When Diane got busy steam cleaning the kitchen and hallway, shaking rugs, and vacuuming bits of debris, I opened the box our UPS Man delivered this morning. It was a Nest thermostat. I got an email, or note in the mail, offering to sell me one. I investigated and discovered that our system qualified, because the old thermostat has all the correct wires. I know this is true because I took a photo and sent it to nest.com and they told me.

Once they told me I was good to go, I ordered the new thermostat. It cost $219, which seems like a lot for a thermostat, but once I get it connected they will send me $200. So, for a wireless, control it from anywhere thermostat, it’s costing me 19 bucks. Seemed like a deal to me. It’s pretty nifty. You should check them out.

It’ now 5 PM now and the wind has been blowing most of the afternoon. Just like the weather people said it would. The power went away a couple of hours ago, and we probably won’t get it back for a while. Trees are blowing down all over the place. A huge oak tree at the end of our street blew over into the owner’s back yard, taking out a bedroom window and a lot of roof overhang with it. Not pretty.

While surveying damage from the downed oak tree, another neighbor came home and stopped to visit a bit. He’s a longshoreman and said they evacuated the docks in Portland because containers were getting blown over and off the stacks, and ships were breaking loose from their moorings. Portland always get it worse because at times like this the wind coming out of the Columbia River Gorge is pretty intense. We’re a bit further out so don’t get it as bad, thankfully.

I put this away for a while and enjoyed the candle lit ambiance of our home with the power outage. It was really quiet, too, except for the howling wind which lasted most of the last 6 hours. Now it’s gone, and out power has been restored.

Just in time for bed, but here’s some photos to commemorate the day …

Here’s the downed oak tree

Diane and her headlight so she could work in the basement. She’s having an Avon sale at the church tomorrow in case you’re interested.

Lydia and Jennifer showed up, too, but I couldn’t find Jennifer in the dark. At one point she was carrying a candle around the house looking for stuff.

Family, Friends, Golf, & Crafty Stuff

Posted on November 19, 2014 by Jerrie Cate

Last Sunday Daniel flew to Houston to attend Intel training this week. He arrived safely, but his bags didn’t. Nifty. I understand that an Alaska Airline representative told Daniel to go out and buy some clothes while they searched the world for his luggage. They eventually found it on a beach in Hawaii. Well, not really on a beach, but pretty close since the airport in Honolulu is very close to Hickam AFB which is, essentially, on the beach. The luggage has since been returned to Daniel.

My psychiatrist visit on Monday went well. I completely fooled her and passed with flying colors. Turns out I’m not totally whacko after all. She wants to see me again in three weeks anyway. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s so I can pick out the color of my straight jacket. Rumor has it they come in an array of hues, not just white.

I’m still in the PC resurrection business it seems because I worked on Diane’s yesterday. Turns out Microsoft’s operating systems haven’t outgrown me completely after all. Granted, I’m more comfortable dealing with DOS and Windows XP, but Diane is using Windows 8.1 with a touch screen. The latter aspect is sometimes an issue because I am prone to pointing to areas on the screen to make a point. In my old life as a PC nerd that wasn’t a problem because all I did was leave smudges. Lots of them. Diane’s screen, however, reacts to touch causing it to open all kinds of programs I don’t necessarily want to access while ferreting out solutions for the issues she complains about. I’ve discovered, recently, that many of those issues are the result of one update or another to the operating system. Love those things.

I’ve been doing surveys on online lately to earn a little extra money. In doing so, I’ve learned that I’m not really a specific age, I’m 65+. Apparently survey people just lump everyone 65 and over into one large group while everyone else gets to put down their real age. I think that’s discrimination and may rise up and be heard.

Today I went golfing with Junior. It was therapeutic for both of us, but mainly Junior. His Mom passed away recently and her service was yesterday morning. I joined him, and his brothers Doug, and Jerry, at a reception they held yesterday afternoon. Normally, as most of you know, it’s usually Doug, Junior, and me who go out and amaze all the other golfers, but today it was just Junior and me. We were all alone on the course, like it was our own private club. It was really nice and we took bonding to a new level.

After golfing I returned home to find Diane working furiously in the basement, picking through an array of “things” we don’t need, making piles and lists in preparation for removing the vast majority of it from the house. This is something we’ve discussed numerous times in the past. Turns out she was serious about it. While she did that, I fiddled around with the fireplace mantel I’ve been working on. We bought it at the Restore Store a couple of months ago, knowing it was too wide. But it was pretty, and there was a good chance I could tear it apart and rebuild it to a more appropriate size. So, that’s what I’ve been doing. The parts are cut and all I have to do is glue and screw it all back together so it can be varnished. Then I’ll have to figure out how to attach it to the fireplace.

Just before it got dark Diane made me go down to the Lion paper boxes to find her a Sunday paper. She’s always loved reading newspapers but we had to cancel our prescription because she would always wind up with a stack of them next to her chair and couldn’t get anything done. But, she can handle one paper a week so I go down and dig out a couple once in a while to keep her happy. The other one is for Mom Jean. While I was at the paper boxes I figured I may as well straighten them up a little, like we do every other Wednesday. I insisted that she stay home because she’s got the sniffles and i don’t want them to get any worse.

On that note, knowing the truth that there’s punishment in my future after Diane reads this, I must quit. Hope everyone had a great day. I suspect you did, unless you live in Buffalo, NY, or thereabouts.

Welcome to Rainy Oregon

Posted on October 4, 2014 by Jerrie Cate

Weather here is pretty funny. Funny because most people think about rain when Oregon comes up in a conversation. Last week, and even earlier this week, it really was raining, but it’s been sporadic so everyone can enjoy these first few weekends of fall. I think someone made a deal with the weather folks. there’s no other reason.

Yesterday it was so nice we took a trip to the beach. Really! We did that. It was 77 degrees when we got there and it was warmer when we left after enjoying the “crowds” that flocked around the Wreck of the Peter Iredale on a Fort Stevens State Park beach in Warrenton, Oregon.

Ok … so there was just one person in the photo, but there was a moment when 4-5 people were there at the same time. For added emphasis, Diane shared the moment so everyone could get a true perspective of how large the remains are.

Before Diane and I walked down to the beach, we dragged her Mom, Jean, to the top of a sand dune so she couldnt escape. She also had a very nice view of the beach and didn’t have to expend a lot of energy to obtain this lofty location.

The reason is because it was just a short walk straight out from where Diane parked the Buick in the upper lot. Not a bad day.We returned home shortly before 6 pm which was a good thing because we discovered that today we had an opportunity to watch Lydia play a little softball in Rainier. Sadly, the first game started at 0900, but we arrived just as it was starting. It was one of the normal weekend tournaments that she’s played in many times in the past, with many of the same girls she’s played with for many years. It was like a little homecoming for her, in a way.

Lydia’s team won that first game 8-3, but they lost the second one 3-2. They play again tomorrow, but we won’t be able to attend. I need to attend church to atone for whatever sins I’ve committed during the last few weeks. Diane makes me do that once in a while because she’s a little concerned that lightening will strike me some time when she’s near me and hopes to avoid the moment.

Here’s Lydia at one of her at bats … that’s Diane with the pink sweater in her lap next to my green chair … Lydia was the lead off batter for both games.Here she is running to first base … that’s Daniel just to the right of #2 keeping score. Jennifer normally keeps score but she couldn’t make today’s games because of work. So Daniel, like a good husband should, stepped in to fill that void. What a guy. Jeran is sitting next to him.

Here she is lounging on first base talking with her first base coach and Pete, the umpire. I think they’re talking about what to have for lunch. I’m not sure. There’s Daniel again, on the right.

Here’s Lydia running to second base …

Here she is lounging on second base … this is as far as she got before the team got their third out.

Here she is playing first base. The runner was out which is evident because Lydia is holding the ball.Lydia played the first game in center field and started the second one in that position but was moved to first base due to errors. She didn’t make any at this position. Sadly, after moving to first base the opposing team started hitting long balls to the outfield, mainly to center field. Sadder yet is that the first base person who was moved because of errors was playing center field. Consequently, runs scored that Lydia would have, I’m sure, prevented. But, luck of the draw, and it is what it is. They all still had fun.

It was a little odd that Marty, the normal coach for this team, wasn’t present. He’s always there. Today, however, we learned that he is currently at the VA hospital in Vancouver where he’s learning to walk a straight line again after suffering a stroke earlier in the week. Apparently he’s going to be OK but currently has the tendency to veer left as he walks. We’re not yet sure if that’s going to affect is driving abilities.

That’s about it for today. Had we not attended the ball games, I would have had to work around the house. Probably in the area of building a fence to replace the one I recently ripped down. The new one will be made of wood instead of loosely stacked rocks. Really heavy rocks.

Now I must rest. Lastly, however, I must share my sadness over the fact that the Oregon Ducks rolled over for the Arizona Wildcats once again. They beat Oregon last year, too. Their only loss. Looks like history is repeating.

Summer, Golf, & TV Shows

Posted on September 29, 2014 by Jerrie Cate

Did I mention that summer here in our part of Oregon was so long that our hydrangeas bloomed twice? it’s true. They did.

Yesterday I went golfing with Vern, Jim, and Doug at Wildwood Golf Course. When we go there it’s an 18-hole event which generally wears me out. We had a great time and I even parred a coupe of holes which is totally uncharacteristic of my normal play. I don’t get many pars. In truth, my goal for any given hole, regardless of what par may be, is to finish it in single digits. I can truthfully report that I accomplished my goal for almost all of the 18 holes played.

It’s raining today and pretty dreary. But, it’s going to perk up later in the week and there’s talk of going golfing again. As many of you know, weather isn’t really a factor on whether or not we go golfing. Weather just comes in to consideration when deciding what to wear. You know … shorts and zories, or shorts and boots.

Speaking of golf … I saw the following joke on Facebook …

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded.

‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied, ‘I’m having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.’

She looked down at his shoes and said, ‘You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!

Last night we sat down to watch the season premier of “Sleepy Hollow” which was one of the many shows recorded on Diane’s DVR. About half-way through I commented on how confusing it was and how ridiculous the story had become. It wasn’t a fun one for us so we took it off our viewing list and will no longer record it. We will, however, continue with “Blue Bloods”, “Person of Interest”, “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”, “The Good Wife”, “The Big Bang Theory”, “Madam Secretary”, “Dancing With The Stars”, “The Blacklist”, “Castle”, “Rizzoli & Isles”, “Forever”, “Criminal Minds”, “Scorpion”, anything with “NCIS” in the title, anything with “CSI” in the title, “Hawaii Five-O”, “The Middle”, all the Ducks & Beavers games, and pretty much anything on HGTV. A little bit of basic math reveals these shows cover more than 24 hours a week so it’s pretty much a part-time job to watch them all. But, we manage to get it done. The dogs aren’t real happy about it because they don’t get a lot of escorted time outside. You may also be wondering how I find time to play golf with all these TV watching responsibilities hovering over me. Well, that’s when HGTV gets watched. Oh, ya! We watch some of the NFL games, too, and will be watching the Portland Trailblazers when the NBA gets going again. Wears me out just thinking about it. Maybe I should get a hobby.

Did I mention that a famous local social figure in Scappoose has a new hip? He’s doing well, last I heard, which is good. He told me he was limited to being up no more than an hour a day unless he was compelled to attend a quilt show. Then it was OK to be up and around for six hours. That makes sense in a complicated sort of way.

Yesterday (I think) I called the new hip owners brother to make sure he was still living in Idaho. He is, but he’s getting slower on the draw when it comes to answering the phone. It must have rang 7-8 times before he picked up. Considering his advanced age, perhaps I should be more understanding. He should adopt my modus operandi that ensures I’m never more than 18 inches from a phone, even in the bathroom. So, don’t hesitate to call me. Any time.

Now I’m going to watch Monday Nite Football.

Camp Tadmor, Ducks, and Beavers

Posted on September 8, 2014 by Jerrie Cate

While writing this, I’m exercising my tiny little brain with a rare attempt at multi-tasking. I don’t try this often because I’ve been trained since birth to believe that only women can do it. With advanced age my thinking processes became muddled, giving me the ability to believe that the “Only Women Can Multi-task” myth was, well, a myth. Over the years this belief freed my brain to accept unexpected multi-tasking opportunities as a chance to dispel the myth thereby giving hope to men, all over the world, that they, too, can do more than one thing at a time.

Sadly, our (a man’s) ability to multi-task is compared to chewing gum and walking, more often than not – as in, we can’t do both at the same time. I beg to differ because I do that quite often. The trick is to chew in time to your cadence which, incidentally, isn’t really an option. It just happens. Still, we can do it. As it happens, I can also be finishing up an email response and begin a conversation at the same time. I have to admit, however, that this particular talent might be considered with a skeptical eye because my hands are like little computers in their down right. I download about thirty words to them at a time so it’s really easy to begin a conversation while my fingers simply empty their buffers. Diane, my lovely bride, has made it clear that not all the downloads to my fingers make sense, but that’s not the point. To the casual observer, I’m still doing two things at the same time. As I type, at this moment, I’m watching the Oregon Ducks vs. Michigan State Spartans football game that was played last Saturday. Even though I know the outcome, it’s fun to watch and it gives me another opportunity to do two things a once. See? I don’t believe I need the ability to do more than those two things at the same time to substantiate the afore-mentioned myth. I suspect there will be more than one person who disagrees with this belief, but I’m willing to go out on a ledge here and add that they will all, most likely, be of the feminine persuasion.

Now that I’ve got this thought process well under way, I’m going to switch gears and get to the meat of this particular posting … why I’m watching a recording of the Ducks/Spartans game. That’s because I wasn’t home, and where I was didn’t afford me the opportunity to watch the game live.

I was a long way from home, with Daniel, Cedric, and Jeran at a Men’s Roundup at Camp Tadmor near Lebanon, Oregon. That’s south of us about 2.5 hours down I-5. Daniel drove which was a good thing because I’d never have made it that far. The reason, or course, is because I’m not conditioned to drive long distances like Diane is. Actually, it’s not really about conditioning. it’s all about permission. Just saying.

Jeran and I rode in the third seat and had a real pleasant time. We talked, then he napped and I read part of my book. It was a good trip. It was an easy 2.5 hour trip for all of us because Cedric and Ben had a lively discussion in the middle seat, while Daniel and Pastor James did the same in the front seat.

Upon arrival at Camp Tadmor, early afternoon, we were directed to our designated camping area where everything was unloaded, and tents were erected. Being old, my camping experience was elevated from the ground to the couch in a nearby motor home with a toilet and running water. No sheets, just my sleeping bag on the couch and it was good.

Friday afternoon, before supper, Daniel and I attended our first break out session, “Transforming Fatherhood”, presented by Bill Clem. It was a good start. Directly after that we attended “Sexuality in an Equal Marriage Environment” presented by Dr. Gerry Bershears. It was quite revealing and taught me a lot about what the bible shares about sex. Unfortunately, I can’t share any of it with you because I’m not allowed to talk about sex. Diane said so.

After Dr. Bershears, we got in line with 1500 other men for our first meal of the weekend. Meals, as well as presentations, are what this retreat is famous for. The line went surprisingly fast due to the lively conversations going on all around us and we were soon assailed by the smell of BBQ chicken halves which were being cooked on four gigantic BBQ units. I mean gigantic in that each unit was about 4 feet wide and tall, by 8 feet long. The smoldering coals were suspended a couple of feet under the chicken on a tray and they were extremely hot. Each unit was absolutely covered with chicken and we were each, in turn, given our chicken right off the grill. I know there were side dishes, too, but can’t remember what they were. Beans and macaroni salad, I think. It was absolutely great and I ate it all.

Here are the grills and a peek at the awesome food line …

Next on the agenda was the main event for the day at the Camp Tadmor Forum.

The main event was opened by a Christian standup comic, Bob Smiley, a very humorous man. My favorite story was about when he was in the first grade and the teacher explained that students had to raise their hands if they had to go to the bathroom. He paused, then said, “No, actually, I don’t,” at which point he made the face of someone happy to be relieving themselves. Too funny.

After Bob’s opener we were treated to the first of four presentations by Paul Tripp, the feature speaker. Paul is a prolific author and an excellent speaker with a great message. He spoke Friday evening, Saturday morning & evening, and again Sunday morning. We went to all of them. Friday evening ended around midnight for us after a lively discussion near our abodes for the night. During the 3 hours we sat talking, a guy named Trace Bundy was playing at one of the new areas above our camp site. Very soothing stuff.

Saturday morning I actually got up early enough to eat breakfast by enduring, once again, that enormous line of hungry campers. The rest of the morning was spent at a breakout by Josh Bidwell, ex-Oregon Duck punter, then Trace Bundy, that young man with an enormous talent and a powerful message, put on an incredible performance. Trace was absolutely amazing and I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to hear him live and to shake his talented hand.

Saturday afternoon was spent doing manly kinds of things, like a race that included activities like swimming across the lake, crawling through a very large mud pit, running around the lake. I said manly but to put that into perspective, I must report that the young man who won the race was 17. Runners up were in the 30’s and the oldest to finish was 50. I did not compete because I wrenched my back climbing up some of the many steps installed throughout the woods, but it really wasn’t my fault.

Here’s what happened … I was heading back up to our camp site, minding my own business. About eight steps ahead of me an older guy, younger than me, tripped on the last step of the section I was about begin. He did a face-plant in the pine needles, spilling the coffee he was carrying. Being distracted by all that commotion, I didn’t step high enough and did my own face-plant on the stairs. The difference was that I wasn’t carrying anything to spill so was more able to avoid serious injury to my visible parts. On the way down I felt my back tweak a bit, then, just before impact, I wondered what all of those behind us thought about these two old guys ahead of them doing tricks on the stairs. I wonder if they wondered if what happened to us was catching. To my credit, I quickly figured out how to regain a vertical stance and rushed up the stairs and was the first one to discover that the gentleman ahead of me was OK. His only concern was that he’d have to go back down the stairs to get another cup of coffee. I offered to get it for him but he declined. I think he did that because my hair’s white and his wasn’t.

Saturday’s dinner consisted of an enormous New York cut BBQ steak and a few other things that almost fit on the plate. I did good and ate every bit of it. Without ketchup. Just straight off the grill.

The evening service was opened by another Christian artist, Chris August. He had some great stories and was very enjoyable to hear. Afterward, we returned to our camp area and once again sat around and talked until after midnight. Stimulating stuff.

Sunday I got up a little later and made it to breakfast as one of the last ones to arrive. There was no line so it was extra special. Then it was more sessions, the final Paul Tripp sermon and lunch before packing up for the trip home. Though I had a good time, I felt out of my element because Diane wasn’t with me. We’re always together and it just didn’t feel right to be doing something without her. It was actually good for both of us because she got to spend girl time with Jennifer and Lydia while we boys did “manly stuff”.

I must report that at the end of one meal, I don’t remember which one, I turned to find dousing Roger staring at me. It was such a total surprise. He was there with son John, and son-in-law David. We had a nice talk, and agreed that we need to do the “family thing” again soon. I never saw them again though I looked everywhere. Considering the venue, I can only believe that chance meeting must have happened for a reason. I can’t wait to find out what it is.

Now we’re all home safe, I got to sleep in my bed last night, and Diane made me take the day off from working to let my back heal. The only thing I had to do was help get Ozzie to the vet by 0730 to get his teeth cleaned. His breath has been pretty disgusting for a while so we thought it would be a good idea. He stayed until after 1500 this afternoon. While waiting, I was allowed to watch the Ducks and Beavers play their football games because Diane recorded them on the DVR for me. The #3 Ducks played the #7 Michigan State Spartans and it looked like #3 was going to fall until they took over in the 4th quarter and scored the last 28 points ending it at 46-27.
As a result they moved up to #2 in the nation.

The Oregon State Beavers beat Hawaii in the second game. I have to admit that I wasn’t as engaged in that game as I was with the Ducks. I think it’s all because of the uniforms. The Ducks are awesome.

Now I must sleep but, first, I must show you my steak …

Golf, Baseball, & Thieves

Posted on July 19, 2014 by Jerrie Cate

Yesterday I was forced to participate in a golf tournament at the Wildwood Golf Course which everyone in the country knows is located on the West side of Highway 30 not too far past the truck scales on the way to Portland from Scappoose. Most everyone of importance also knows that Jack & Wynette had their wedding reception in the Wildwood Club House which was located right next to Highway 30. At some point in the future, it mysteriously burned down, the golf course receded back into the forest, lost & forgotten, and was ultimately resurrected and expanded into an 18-hole course that careens through a small valley, and up and down hills. The current owner is, in my opinion, an abject jerk, so I don’t go there often. I may never go there again, for that reason. One person mentioned that he’s a “money whore,” which was confirmed by his willingness to insert walk-on golfers into the midst of the tournament we were involved in. Nice.

The tournament was a version of best ball, and it was gratifying to me that a couple of my balls were deemed best. That just means that I hit my ball better than those in our foursome so everyone was allowed to hit their next shot from that spot. I even made a few pretty good chip shots onto the green. My foursome was composed of Doug & Jim, high school classmates, and George, a person none of us had ever met until tee time. All in all, it was a good day.

On the way home I followed Doug home so I could check Carolyn’s computer to see why her Gmail wouldn’t appear. She wasn’t there when we arrived, but her computer was energized so I hit a few keys, clicked the Gmail icon and it popped up quite smartly. When Doug saw this he went, “Hmmm. She must have figured it out.” Then we sat in the living room and visited for a while. Then I went home to play in the dirt for a while before cleaning up to attend Lydia’s soccer game.

Before getting dirty, I took my mid day pills. Shortly thereafter, we went to Diane’s Mom’s, Jean’s, house for a visit where I promptly fell asleep. Then we went to the soccer game which wound up in a 2-2 tie. They played against the 14U rec league team and Lydia played goalie the whole game. Since it was a practice game, and most of those on the 14U team are in-coming St. Helens freshmen this year, the goalies switched sides at half time. The second half Lydia had to block against the varsity team and that’s when she gave up the two goals. But, she blocked about 20 shots. She did good.

Back at home, I had a hard time staying awake so decided to go to bed. It was then I discovered that I had taken my sleeping pill, the dreaded Ambien, somewhere around 3 pm. So, the erratic behavior Diane witnessed was totally not my fault. I slept through the night anyway, which surprised me.

This morning I got back into my morning nap routine and didn’t go out to get dirty and sweaty until 10 am or so. Consequently, I only got about 4 hours in before it was deemed time to eat lunch. We had Taco Bell tacos, always a favorite.

While writing this, I got a text from brother Jack, who is in Arizona with his first wife at this time, watching Sage pitch against a California team at the Cincinnati Reds training field in Phoenix. Sage, as you may all recall, is Maryssa’s boyfriend who is going to play for the North Carolina Tarheels after he graduates from high school next year. He’s a talent to watch. Click his name to check him out – Sage Diehm. A little more research revealed that Sage is the first Idaho baseball player ever recruited by North Carolina. Last text I got from Jack indicated that one of Sage’s teammates had hit a triple, driving in one run so it was 1-0. Nothing since so I have no idea what’s going on now. The suspense is killing me, but I’m not going to beg for an update. Nope. Just not going to do it.

I’m going to have to go rent a large piece of equipment from Don’s Rental so I can move some dirt around a little, leveling the area next to garage in preparation of installing a load of gravel that doesn’t squish up when a car drives over it. That’s wheat we have right now is squishy rocks. They are all round, which was intentional, to allow for good drainage into the pipe I installed some time back. Now I want to park something on it, like one of the old motor homes, or my truck, and need non-squishy gravel so it will remain level. To get the equipment home means I must spend a bit of time trouble shooting my truck to find out which ignition wire I dislodged the last time I drove it so I can get it started. I’ve already cleared this event as one that isn’t technically “working outside” since I’ll be inside the truck, so I’m good to go. Just need to work up a little more motivation. Might even see about getting the old ’73 RV fired up. Or not.

You may have heard about the crime spree going on around town these last few months. Thieves are going around during the day, knocking on doors so see who’s home. Those who aren’t get robbed. Those who are home are asked questions about someone they are looking for, wondering if they are inside. Last I heard, about 60 homes had been robbed. Sadly, the spree has extended to our quiet little dead-end street. Since we have Panzee, a large barking dog who greets family, friends, and strangers with the same intimidating welcome, I doubt seriously if anyone would be motivated to break into the house in our absence. But, you just never know. To be on the safe side, we decided it would probably be a good idea to lock all the doors, to everything, when we leave. In the past we’ve failed to do that many times.

So, any of you who may be compelled to visit our house when we’re aware be forewarned that Panzee, Breezie, and Ozzie have been training as a team to take down anyone they don’t know. It will work like this … you enter the house, via any access, and Panzee will make a concerted effort to rip your testicles off while Breezie takes care of your eyelids. Oz will gnarl his way around your ankles, severing your Achilles tendon, allowing it to snap up into the calf of your leg accompanied by an incredible amount of mind-numbing pain, ensuring you cannot flee the scene. In the unlikely event you are of the female persuasion, Panzee will go for your neck and face. If you have large breasts, you may want to wear a really tight sports bra because they’ll probably get in her way. Breezie’s and Oz’s missions do not change. I do not feel there’s a need to post this information outside the house because the dogs will make their presence known at the first hint of a foreign presence.

In the event you are still compelled to pay us a visit, please ensure you have the name of your next of kin somewhere on your body. Since the back of your shoulders probably will remain undisturbed, it would be a great place to tattoo that information. Alternatively, if you are opposed to tattoos, please have your partner in crime use a permanent black marker to help you write this information on the inside band of your underwear. If you don’t wear underwear, the waistband of your pants will suffice.

Better yet, just ensure you have proper ID on entry.

Good luck.

Now I must quit for today and go outside, by request, and climb to the top of a 24′ extension ladder to replace one of our outside security lights.

Eyeballs, Weeds, & Jerrie

Posted on July 16, 2014 by Jerrie Cate

Monday morning I did something I haven’t done in about 4 years — I got up at 0530, fed the dogs, then went to work. It was a test, to see if I could actually do it and I think I passed.

Getting to work was a short trip, not like before when I inserted my vehicle into the mass of others heading toward Portland, making the road look like a red snake weaving itself down the road. No, yesterdays trip was only about 30 feet into the back yard where I selected appropriate tools and continued our work on the weed hill that used to contain a bunch of irises. What I’m doing out there is peeling off the top 6 inches, the part that contains the incredibly mass of interwoven grass that’s been growing there since time began. Lots of it comes off in large mats, some in small, but they all come off with lots of resistance. Lots of it. The kind that’s makes one sweaty in the extreme.

However, beginning this work at 0545, or so, was OK because it’s nice and cool then and it takes longer to work up a good sweat. Still, I didn’t like it. That’s too early to be headed to work, even if it is only outside the back door. So, I”m not going to do it any more. I’d rather have my morning nap.

After the morning workout, I cleaned myself up and Diane drove me to the VA in Hillsboro for my annual eyeball exam. I passed, but learned that retinas, like skin, wrinkle with age. At least mine do. So far it hasn’t impaired my vision but I’m on the lookout for anything funning happening to the things I look at.

Yesterday, Jerrie was 3-years-old. My how time flies. To celebrate the event we contracted with Diane’s Mom, Jean, to use her back yard so the kids could run willy nilly up and down Milton Creek which runs through her back yard. It was a good plan and it worked to perfection. The kids had a great time wading and jumping in the water while those of us more advanced in age enjoyed sitting and visiting in the back yard. It was great.

Jerrie & the cake …

Baylee, Gilligan & Jerrie blowing out the candles …

A new jeans jacket from Aunt Jennie and Uncle Daniel.

Girls in the water …

Gilligan doesn’t stand still for very long. Jumping is her ‘thing’ …

Baylee is a bit more subdued, but still a poser …That was yesterday. Today I put on my American Legion hat and participated in a flag raising ceremony to officially open the Columbia County Fair. In all, there were approximately twenty of us lining the path to the flag. Our shipmate, Frank Weber, WWII veteran who served aboard the Colorado during the Big One, raised the flag. He’s 89 now, and retired as a Navy Chief Petty Officer. He’s a very spry guy and I’m honored that I share a connection with him as a chief. In his spare time he manages a Navy Museum in his Scappoose home. He’d love it if you stopped by to look it over.

Also at the fair opening were county Commissioners, state Senators, and Representatives for Columbia County. It was fun to be involved.

After the ceremony I joined Diane and her Mom, Jean, to go look at flowers. Just like every other time we’ve visited the fair, we wished we’d bottled up a few of our flowers to display. We always forget until we see those on display. We have pretty ones, too. Next year, by golly, I’m going to remember to enter a few of my photos for judging. Just for fun. Maybe I’ll make a doily, too.

Lydia was working in the Dairy Booth so I visited with her a bit, using it as an excuse to obtain an extra malty chocolate malt for my sipping enjoyment. An ‘old’ friend, Julia, was there, too. She’s a college girl now. Not long ago, as is true for all the young men and women I know, they were little. All of them. It’s sad that they have to grow up, but good to know they are growing up quite nicely.

I got to visit with Bree, too. She and Lydia are friends and, Bree says, I’m her replacement Grandpa. I’m honored. It’s always fun to see her.

Then we came home, it got dark, and now it’s almost time for bed.

G’nite.