Yesterday Diane forced me to fill out a document that’s required to renew my passport. She had a photo of me, and everything. After I signed the form, she put it in an envelope, then tricked me into riding with her to the post office so she cold mail it.

I don’t know about you, but I think she’s going to make me leave the country. The new passport is supposed to arrive in about 4 weeks so if you don’t hear from me after, say, October 25, please call your local police department and report me missing.