May’s A Goner … Happy June 1st !

Here it is, almost summer already. Weather all over the country is going crazy, tearing up the mid west, and various other places, but here at home in Oregon, beautiful Oregon, things are just fine. The sun is out, it’s warm, I can mow the lawn at will, and we can have the doors and windows open all day and all night. We usually don’t do that because one of the neighbors is always mowing their lawns, or burning their lawn debris. Though it’s a pleasant smell, it’s one Diane cannot tolerate. So, we ban it from the house.

Today we got up bright and early at 0700 to ready ourselves for a trip to Gales Creek Campground. I actually got up the first time at 0505 for the dogs.

The campground is for children suffering from type 1 diabetes. Diane and I have never been there before so it was a treat for us. The purpose of our visit was to help get it cleaned up and ready for use this summer. The purpose of the camp is to give children a safe place to spend a week away from home, with other children who suffer as they do, thereby giving the parents a little time off from constantly monitoring their children’s needs. It’s fully staffed with medical personnel of all manner, day and night.

Some of the parents I spoke with have teenagers who first attended the camp when they were 7. As they grow older they became mentors to the younger children. It’s like an endless cycle when they continue attending the camp and become mentors themselves.

Gales Creek Camp is one of the projects our St. Helens Lion’s Club International support. One of our members, who recently passed, was fully engaged with the camp and had at one point singlehandedly painted every building at the site, so I’m told. I believe it. We intend to continue his legacy.

OK – enough serious stuff.

After today’s arduous activity Diane and I are tuckered out. She wanted to visit the hot tub, but the water was only 67 degrees. For some reason it clicked off. I coaxed it back to life, at least for now, and last time I looked it was up to 100 degrees. I like the hot tub on a hot day which, some might think, is odd. Diane loves it any time, but that’s because she wears a form-fitting swimming suit. If she would just let me go in naked I’d be OK, but she won’t. Maybe if she’d let me wear a speedo … that might work.

The problem is, you see, not that I don’t like the hot water bubbling all around me, it’s the getting out part I don’t like. Guys swimming trucks have evolved in to these long-legged shorts that dangle loosely around my little chicken legs and when I stand up to get out they turn to ice. It’s just a terrible way to end such a pleasant experience, don’t you think? I mean, that’s the only part of me that’s cold, my legs, where the frozen suit touches me. So, logic tells me that getting out naked would be better and I don’t see it as a big deal because there’s just nothing to see. My penis and gonads disappeared a long time ago. I think they atrophied and fell off somewhere along the line which makes me wonder if, perhaps, I could just wear one of Diane’s many suits. Or, maybe a nice frilly bikini bottom.

OK, this is getting away from me and I apologize, especially to my lovely daughter because I know she reads this. I’d take it all back if I could but I can’t so I won’t.

Oh, and Jack, I have this bag of Worx double helix weed whacker twin on my computer table that’s supposed to go to you. I finally found them on my work bench a couple of weeks ago and brought them to my desk. I think they’ve matured enough that they are ready to be released for work. Now it’s up to you to remember to ask for them because, although they are right in front of me, all the time, I’ll forget.

It’s almost 9 pm and we have early church tomorrow so need to quit and get to bed, even though the sun is still shining. Might have to wear eye shades but don’t think I have any so I probably won’t. I’ll just self medicate and call it a day.


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