Monthly Archives: January 2012

A Busy Saturday

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Greetings!

I was sitting calmly in my recliner when Diane asked me if I was going to just sit around all day. It being Saturday, and all, I figured that would be OK. Apparently not. So, I searched the house for some work clothes, put them on, and went out to dismantle the old Winnebago with my reciprocating saw. I started in the front, drivers side, and worked my way to the back. It didn’t take a lot of effort to knock down entire wall on that side. Now it’s just a half a bago.

Things went just fine until I got to the back and started taking out the crossmember for the bathroom cabinet. I was sawing away like crazy, feeling good about my progress, when, all the sudden, a piece of wall fell over and whacked me in the side of the head. I knew immediately that I had once again been fatally wounded because the part that hit me was the remainder of a soap dish I had partially removed from the wall. It was in the perfect location to make a really nice gouge, through my hat, without tearing it at all, and giving me whiplash, from which I may never recover.

Gnarly, huh? Diane made me quit working when she saw the blood, and wanted me to go to the emergency room for stitches, but I know how they operate. They’ve given me lots of stitches in the past and I didn’t want to spend another afternoon chatting with all those terminally ill people. So, I allowed Diane to operate on me to fix it.

She shaved around the wound, after I suffered through a shower, during which I discovered that it wasn’t really a good idea to let the water run full force directly on the wound. It really made my eyes water. Then I sat on the couch so Diane could shave off enough hair so some butterfly bandaids would stick to my head. Before doing that, however, she dabbed it with iodine. During that process I learned it wasn’t a proper time to be issuing instructions. I had no idea a Q-tip could cause that much pain. You can bet that bit of info has been filed away in long term memory.

Right now my head is fine, thanks to my lovely wife. It’s not painful at all. My neck, however, is another matter. Tomorrow I just know I’m not going to be able to get out of bed because it’s really, really going to be hurting. A lot. The reason for that is the sideways whiplash caused by the attack.

I hope everyone had a better day than I did. This is a new one for me because, though I do have a reputation for hurting myself frequently, it’s never on my head. I’ll update this tomorrow, if I’m able.

Dog Food Wars

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I’ve mentioned this before, about how Ziva and Panzee have this daily argument about food. Just thought you might like to see the results of the confrontation. Not pretty. The upside is that they always clean up after themselves so we just leave them alone. About the only time it’s an issue is when they start yelling at each other in the living room while Diane’s trying to watch something on HGTV, or Grey’s Anatomy. Diane wants me to explain to them that they’re being rude and really annoying, but I’ve tried that. They either just don’t understand, or don’t care. I’m not sure which. So, I just don’t bother trying any more.

We were all excited to watch the Blazers play the Suns this evening but the referees, and poor shooting ruined it all. Apparently the pre game meeting, that all referees have, resulted in a decision to let the Suns win. So, they did. We quit watching with about 5 minutes to go in the 4th quarter with the Suns up 22. Bummer. Losing to the Suns isn’t as bad as losing to the Lakers and the Blazers beat them last night in PDX. So, they were tired for tonight’s game and should have been given a 10 point advantage for having to travel. That’s only fair.

This morning the dogs got me up at 6:45. They went outside for about 15 minutes. When they got back in, and I had filled their food bowls, in preparation for the afternoon food fight, I kicked back on the couch and slept until 10:22. I know it was that time, exactly, because that’s when Diane got up. She said she got up at 10:15, so I don’t know where that other 7 minutes went. I think she either fibbed, or just took 7 minutes to walk down the hall. It was a nice nap.

Since it was so late, we decided to have breakfast and call it lunch. We had bacon, hash browns, and a 6-egg cheese omelet, which we split right down the middle. I know it was right down the middle because I cut it. I also cooked it. Diane did the bacon and potatoes. We ate on our handy-dandy lap trays and watched a couple of recorded shows.

When Diane was done she had me hold her tray while she stood up so I took that opportunity to do a functional analysis of all her sphincter muscles. I call it a Sphincter Check. When she got up I held the tray up for her and her little bowl of strawberry jam just slid right off the tray, followed closely by the pepper shaker. All of her sphincters kicked in at once, sealing off various sections of her body like she was setting water tight integrity on a Navy ship (setting Zebra, it’s called). In a Navy ship it’s done to segment the ship into many water tight compartments to prevent the ship from sinking too quickly. In a human body, sphincters are set to keep anything from leaking out of the body. I guess we could call this test “setting sphincter”.

Doing this allowed her to react quickly enough to snag the jam bowl right out of the air, without spilling a drop. But, the pepper shaker wound up wrong side down in the jam and required a washing. She yelled at me, of course, not understanding the benefit of doing this critical body function check at least once a year. It’s important, as we get older, to ensure all of our remaining sphincters are fully operational and under our command.

It’s 10:30 pm and I’ve been up for 12 hours. Must be time for bed.

Working on the Winnebago

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Jack showed up this morning to help me work on the one ’68 Winnebago that was left in our yard a few years ago. We needed to move it a little ways  and it almost got away from  us. Fortunately, the emergency brake works nicely. Unfortunately, the front end wasn’t connected to the rest of the rig as well as it should have been. When the bottom stopped, the top didn’t. The results are as you see it. The upside of this little mishap is that it was simple to work on the engine, which was the main reason for Jack’s visit today.

Sadly, apparently no one read an earlier blog entry suggesting that folks come, participate, and bring food. Since Diane left shortly after Jack arrived, lunch was a meager affair. Since the only appliance I’m allowed to use, when Diane isn’t home, is the toaster, that’s what we had. Toast. With jelly. It was really good. We had coffee, too.

We made excellent progress getting to the engine thanks to the emergency brake. We found all these wires running all over the place and tried to reconnect everything, but decided it probably was a waste of time since there’s no battery in the rig. What’s the point of connecting all the wires if you can’t turn something on? But, it’s kinda pretty.

Tomorrow we’ll free the engine, and transmission, and implant them into the trailer he brought today. Oh! I almost forgot! Jack called me this morning to go help him load the engine lifter thingie into his trailer because it was heavy and he couldn’t quite make it. So I said, “sure”, of course. He told me he was on Little Street. Yes, there really is a Little Street in St. Helens. And, it’s really a little street. Short, actually. Even though it’s a little street, it took me a while to find him because he was really on Lee Street. He succeeded in confusing me which, I firmly believe, was his ultimate goal. He should be ashamed for picking on his little brother like that, but he isn’t. He’s always picking on me. But, we had fun working together today so there’s still hope for this relationship to blossom. It could happen.

Now I’m going to stop and watch the Orange Bowl.

Oregon Ducks Win Rose Bowl !!

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In an unprecedented move, in addition to winning the Rose Bowl game, the Oregon Ducks came up the lucky winner of the Rose Bowl. Many in attendance were unaware that the stadium was up for grabs, but the city of Pasadena made a brief, unreported statement prior to the game that they were tired of all “these strange people” over running their fair city all the time. So, their city council voted 4-3 to get rid of the stadium. It seemed to be the major item causing everyone to show up.

So, now that they’ve won it they’ll have to engage the Beaver engineers at Oregon State to devise a way to dismantle the stadium and transport it back to Eugene, Oregon where it will replace the fairly new Autzen Stadium. No one’s sure how that will work out since the Beavers and Ducks are mortal enemies. It could be ugly indeed. To make this work, all the Duck football games for 2012 will be played in Reser Stadium in Corvalis, Oregon, home of the daunted Beavers. Many Duck fans think this is OK, however, because they feel it would do the Reser stadium proud to have a winner in that stadium.

After the drawing, as mentioned above, the Ducks beat the Badgers in a game that could have gone either way until the Ducks went on top 42-38. The Badgers made a valiant effort with 16 seconds remaining but made a crucial judgement error after a first down by attempting to spike the ball with only 2 seconds left. Perhaps it was an experiment to see if it could be done in that amount of time. Now they know. It can’t. Game over, Ducks win. Their first Rose Bowl win since 1917. Some of the members of that team, from 95 years ago, were still on the team after receiving special waivers from the NCAA to extend their eligibility to play. No one at the game noticed them, however, because they weren’t moving very fast. It didn’t help that all of them had shrunk to the size of Kevin Duckworth’s left shoe. Still, they were a proud bunch who can now put it to rest having won their second Rose Bowl game.

A lot of the previous information is inaccurate. Just so you know.

Today my eyes are turning and my ears are screaming. I don’t think one has anything to do with the other, but they are both extremely annoying. That isn’t a complaint, just a fact. I don’t complain because the ringing in my ears gives me an excuse to drink heavily. I don’t do that, but it gives me an excuse if I ever decide I want to.

I’m in trouble again. Diane found the stocking holder that a broke. It’s a stocking holder for Christmas stockings, in case you didn’t relate. I broke it in a good way, actually, because it tipped off the mantel because it was too heavy with all the stuff I put in Diane’s stocking. It was a cute little snowman in a red hat with a fluffy white ball, and he was holding a red bird in his left hand. Now it’s just a cute little snowman with no fluffy white ball on his had, and no bird in his hand. When I broke it I just put the pieces next to it. I went for 9 days without being in trouble until she found it. I knew she would. So, now I have a new project.

Christmas is officially over at our house, now because I took the lights off the roof and the upper porch. I even put them all away. And, I straightened up all the Christmas stuff in the basement, too. That amazed Diane because I did it all while she was gone for an hour. She couldn’t believe that I actually got that much done in such a short time. Heck, I was even sweating when she got home so I don’t understand that. I don’t sweat very often. Except when I climb stairs. Or walk really fast.

I hope everyone is enjoying a great start to their last year on Earth. Remember, 12.21.12 is looming large on everyone’s horizon.

Happy 2012!

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Greetings Fellow Earthlings.
As most of you probably already know, this is the year the world ends. It has to because the Mayan calendar stops functioning on December 21st. To my knowledge, no one has any idea what happens when a calendar stops functioning. Maybe nothing, and that’s a double edged sword if ever there was one. Nothing, as in nothing works any more, or Nothing, as in … well, nothing happens. It’s going to be interesting to see what’s at the end of that calendar.

This morning we awoke to a bright, sunny day here in Seaside. It was absolutely beautiful all day long. We walked from one end of the boardwalk to the other, and back. Almost 4 miles in all. it was a nice, easy walk. No hills and no stairs. We were pleasantly worn out by the trek.

After resting for a while we went back to the boardwalk to watch the sunset, the first one of this year. It was gorgeous. Not as pretty as Hawaii, but still very nice. I took a picture to prove it, but it’s still in the camera so I can’t show it to you.

After the sunset we stopped by Norma’s for a terrific dinner. We thought about going to a movies, but it took us too long to eat so we just went back to the room to savor the day.

I told you about Ruth yesterday. Today I met Don, her husband. He was a career Marine so we had a terrific conversation. A lot of it was about how handy it was for Marines to have the navy around to give them rides to various places in the world. He’s been retired for 13 years so I’m older and wiser than he is. Plus, I was in the Navy. I didn’t, of course, point that out to him. Nice guy.

Now, about the end of the world … anyone have any thoughts about what we’ll be looking at on 12/22/12? I think that’s the day all the planets align and their combined gravitational pull will suck all the water to one side of the earth causing a lot of distress for pretty much everyone. But, that’s just me.